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Kraken jokes

Y'all are kraken me up.



A drunken Kraken slithered into a bar and loudly proclaimed; "Me is buying everybody a round of rum!".

The bartender started pouring the rum, shook his and said; "that not the proper way, it is 'I am buying everybody a round of rum'".

To which the Kraken responded; "Me is appreciating that very much!"

🐙
 
What did the Kraken say to Baba Yaga? I like that your cabin walks around the forest on giant chicken legs, and that you fly around in a giant mortar with a giant pestle in hand. I too have dabbled in making herbal concoctions. Let’s stay in touch and compare notes sometime.

What did the Kraken say to Medusa? Damn girl, you can turn me to stone any ti… (Kraken turns to stone and gets revived by Baba Yaga).

What did the Kraken say to Circe? I don’t like pork, let’s get sushi.

Baba Yaga: You told me I was the only one (turns Kraken into a frog).

Circe: (Revives Kraken) you’re my giant octopus now.
 
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What did The Kraken say to the Sea?

You make me complete...

sea octopus GIF
 
What did the Kraken say to Friedrich Nietzsche? When you look into the abyss, the Kraken looks back at you.

🐙

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Kraken
Kraken who?
Kraken heads open with deez tentacles
 
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What did the Kraken say after the three hits?
Shu La Men Ta Ri Ko Ba Na Si Sha Ru Tam Te
A powerful, unified force (Shu) moves into a state of sweet, affectionate connection (La), which then hits a boundary of finality (Men). This prompts a dynamic, vibrating energy (Ta Ri) that gently and creatively holds the situation (Ko Ba), leading to a forceful cleansing or release (Na Si). An intense manifestation of truth or sound erupts (Sha Ru) to finally achieve a definitive conclusion (Tam Te).
 
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