fractaloctopus
mittens
Since my first trip report, I've had a couple sub-breakthrough experiences. The thing that does blow my mind completely is that each time I'm thrust into the exact same space. For me at least, this tells me that this isn't just some screwed up brain chemistry going on. There's something far more serious going on. The implications start to make my head spin...
My last experience though turned out to be something a little bit different. I loaded my GVG with about 60mg and took several smallish hits due to my lungs and throat still being rather new to all this. I lay back and watched the neon kaleidoscope unfurl around me yet again. Then it changed. The panes of glowing neon shifted and became white neon letters, numbers, and iconic symbols. It was all morphing so fast that I couldn't make out any words as such, but I knew that I was looking at language that I was familiar with. Then a few symbols caught my eye: a dollar sign, the Japanese Yen symbol, and the Sterling Pound symbol. This made me momentarily think of how a friend and I were talking last weekend about how several people he knew were asking around for spice and how we could stand to make a fair bit of money because of it. I wasn't too keen on the idea of selling spice in the first place. The money would be great, but it just didn't sit well with me.
As soon as I thought of the mere possibility of selling spice, the characters all morphed at once. I could no longer read them or recognize any of the symbols. They were totally alien to me and I just knew that was exactly what they were: alien. Then I felt it. A brooding malevolence. A severe displeasure at my being where I was. An overwhelming sense that I was no longer welcome; that I was in serious danger if I lingered too much longer. The blackness surrounding the alien language started to turn towards being a dark, blood red. I was terrified. I asked for forgiveness. I apologized for bringing such thoughts into this realm. I made it known that I would never even consider selling spice again. I supplicated with all my being to the yawning blood-red darkness that surrounded me.
I felt a retraction of the malevolence. A wave of understanding and pity washed over me. The blood red darkened back to black and the alien language morphed back into more familiar figures. I'm not sure if I've ever felt so relieved in my life. As I came down I just lay still on my bed, feeling weak and embarrassed. On one hand I also felt somewhat invigorated. It felt like I was very close to breaking through. At the same time I have to almost be thankful that my lungs couldn't quite keep that last toke in fully. This encounter and learning lesson was terrifying enough at this sub-threshold level. If I had broken through and actually stood face to face with the entity that I felt bearing down on me, I probably still wouldn't be sleeping properly.
As far as I'm concerned, respect and reverence are the name of the game from here on out.
My last experience though turned out to be something a little bit different. I loaded my GVG with about 60mg and took several smallish hits due to my lungs and throat still being rather new to all this. I lay back and watched the neon kaleidoscope unfurl around me yet again. Then it changed. The panes of glowing neon shifted and became white neon letters, numbers, and iconic symbols. It was all morphing so fast that I couldn't make out any words as such, but I knew that I was looking at language that I was familiar with. Then a few symbols caught my eye: a dollar sign, the Japanese Yen symbol, and the Sterling Pound symbol. This made me momentarily think of how a friend and I were talking last weekend about how several people he knew were asking around for spice and how we could stand to make a fair bit of money because of it. I wasn't too keen on the idea of selling spice in the first place. The money would be great, but it just didn't sit well with me.
As soon as I thought of the mere possibility of selling spice, the characters all morphed at once. I could no longer read them or recognize any of the symbols. They were totally alien to me and I just knew that was exactly what they were: alien. Then I felt it. A brooding malevolence. A severe displeasure at my being where I was. An overwhelming sense that I was no longer welcome; that I was in serious danger if I lingered too much longer. The blackness surrounding the alien language started to turn towards being a dark, blood red. I was terrified. I asked for forgiveness. I apologized for bringing such thoughts into this realm. I made it known that I would never even consider selling spice again. I supplicated with all my being to the yawning blood-red darkness that surrounded me.
I felt a retraction of the malevolence. A wave of understanding and pity washed over me. The blood red darkened back to black and the alien language morphed back into more familiar figures. I'm not sure if I've ever felt so relieved in my life. As I came down I just lay still on my bed, feeling weak and embarrassed. On one hand I also felt somewhat invigorated. It felt like I was very close to breaking through. At the same time I have to almost be thankful that my lungs couldn't quite keep that last toke in fully. This encounter and learning lesson was terrifying enough at this sub-threshold level. If I had broken through and actually stood face to face with the entity that I felt bearing down on me, I probably still wouldn't be sleeping properly.
As far as I'm concerned, respect and reverence are the name of the game from here on out.
