Little Good things we do

[obliguhl]

What this is about: A quick overview


Here is a thread to post storys of your everyday life were you have made a difference. It does not matter how small. This is not for self-appraisal. It's to remind us of the good things we do in our life. Remind others of what they can do to promote lovve and therefore, peace in this world.

Why we should spread love
I see the nexus as a community with certain values, shared by most of the - lets say - popular posters. I do strongly believe, that these values are based on what the psychedelic experience has to offer. One of the greatest benefits is, that we can learn to overcome our hurt egos and feel compassion and love, not only for other people but for the whole universe. We can realize, that everything is GOOD and that the pain we inflict on others or bring upon ourselves is nothing but a mindgame. I don't want to theorize the whole thing, really. Perhaps i'm totally wrong, but still: The lesson of love is one, many nexians were so fortunate to experience.

Therefore, the focus of "our culture" to heal and to transcend the dark life of "western civilization" that has brought us so much control, so much anxiety. Experiencing psychedelics means to surrender to a force unknown to us. To say "Yes" to the hidden powers of life. But only if we can use them to better our lifes, they are worth it.

The brute force of DMT leaves us no other choice but to accept our role as powerless beings but ironicaly shows us the exact opposite: That we are very powerful as a group, as one, united in love. It is our obligation to spread this truth. It's not that i say that the brutal lifestyle of hour world is wrong per se. I am not to judge. I can only speak of my experiences. I'm fortunate, that they are shared by many people here and i would be happy, if we could focus more on building a better future, together.

How is this thread gonna help?
I suppose many of us forget the little things we do. A smile, a helping hand. It does have an impact on others. We just can't measure it properly. But if someone is nice to me, it boosts my state and it just carries from person to person, over the whole day. One little smile can set a whole wave of love into motion. By focusing on the moments were we brought a smile on the faces of friends, family.. or even strangers, we are focusing on a tangible way to better the world.

Posting it here, helps others gain confidence in living a loving lifestyle. It is much easier to spread good vibes, if you know that you are NOT alone. That not everyone is grumpy all the time. That is a valuable thing to remember.

How do i post in this thread?

Just share with us what you did and how it affected YOU and the other person. I will give you an example:

"Today i met a colleague i do not really know. I've talked with her for a while and she put me in a good state of mind, because i don't talk to people all too often. Then, a friend passed by and smiled at me. I smiled back and was feeling the love. As I exit the building, i saw a person i don't really know but ...you know, talked to her a little bit during a seminar a while ago. Normaly, i would just go my ways, because i'm shy. But this time, i waited for her to turn her head and then smiled and waved my hands. It felt good to overcome fear and share the good vibes"

I really hope what i wrote resonates with some of you. I'd be gratful if this could grow into something positive.

 

[Steely]

I know I at least try to mean well, but I don't know if it does much good anymore.

The most recent good thing I can recall doing was riding my bike through town and coming across a man in a runners outfit who was limping. I stopped next to him and asked if he was alright, or if he needed to call someone. He said that he was fine, that he had just stepped wrong and twisted his ankle. He thanked me, and I think I said nothing, or some basic habitual, "yeah" or "yup". I had slowly ridden along side of him and after we talked I just moved on.

I felt indifferent. Can anyone provide some insight?

I believe in the little things in life. A small somehow extraordinary encounter with an ordinary stranger or a glance that eats away at some people from the inside out. I believe it to be easy to set in motion a transformation with even tiny gestures.

So when I talked to the man, I didn't really think about setting in motion some change in him, because these things are so relatively insignificant that you will never even know if it worked or not.

Sorry if I'm talking more about me then the things I've done.

 

[FastFourierT]

I admired my lighter.

 

[DoctorMantus]

I admired my lighter.

Does this have anything to do with the post?

I think the little things that we do are great, but recently it seems like people are just getting more oblivious and incompetent and it seems like some people at least were i live cant even preform the simplest of task, is the world just getting lazier?

Like i live on Maui you hold a door for someone or tell a cashier to have a good day they usually do not say thank you or yea you too.
idk what it is with people Hawaii and i see half the population walking around with scowls on there face whats there to scowl about beats me, Our race needs a big transformation, and the little things do help in a way I mean if you can Make one persons day or enlighten one person maybe they will enlighten the next guy and so on, you can only hope that something like that would make a change.

 

[FastFourierT]

I admired my lighter.

Does this have anything to do with the post?

everything.

Full metallic casing. Shiny. Reflective. Solid. Feels like steel to the touch.

Click. The flame appears. Thin, long and elegant. Beatiful colour spectrum in the dark. I dont dare putting my finger in its way - its powerful.

Shivers down my spine. The lighter is mine.

Theres a speckle of tobacco on it. I brushed it off.

 

[obliguhl]

I felt indifferent. Can anyone provide some insight?

It hurts not to be wanted. If a stranger offers you help, it's actually a good thing to take it, because it makes them feel better. Even if you don't really *need* help, accepting it from a stranger is a gesture that makes the helper feel better. I refuse help most of the time, because i don't want to bother them ...but well, i think that is the wrong approach to such a situation.

@DoctorMantus
What you have described is exactly the reason for this thread. It is easy to lose focus on being a good example of a better lifestyle if everyone around you does not appreciate.

I do appreciate and i encourage you to keep on saying "thanks" to the cashier, if it is a genuine action. I'm not talking about fake friendliness, but sharing everything your heart can give.

Ask yourself daily "Do i have to frown in this moment?" ...most of the time we aren't THAT pissed so..why not smile instead? It's partly a habit, i think.

 

[Shadowman-x]

Helping other people from an honest loving place is one of the best ways to heal ones self.

i have had lots of problems with being trapped in my mind or the thoughts that come to me from a sense of strange intellectual disattachment to the outside reality
it seems as though the open, positive glow of wanting to do good by others no matter what you do comes from being able to take a sense of treating yourself with the care and love that you would hope for from others.

in a few of my thoughts i realized that ones emotional and mental needs are equally proportionate to that which they have to offer. Anything which they seek in another person, is something they are capable of giving equally to ones-self.

that doesn't necessarily mean that one has to be caught up in ones-self and never needing from others or giving to others, it allows one to fully receive & give love from a fulfilled source.

Being able to take a sense of fulfillment in your own actions, regardless of the past or present can allow you a strong sense of personal gravity, and with that you can truly put what is needed to influence other people into yourself.

it is less important what you do, in my opinion, than how you do it. The intent and gravity of your actions and words can make the difference in whether people actually listen to you or not.

and if you're not putting out strong emotion or intent with your actions, sometimes if you are fulfilled in yourself and fulfilled in the actions you take, other people will notice them or even be inspired by them.
it is strange to think of how much one can affect others by just being THEMSELVES, regardless of the situation.

many of us here on the nexus are shining examples that doing your own thing, as long as you can communicate to others, and are passionate in this world, can have a great influence on others.



random thoughts..

 

[Infinite I]

Like i live on Maui you hold a door for someone or tell a cashier to have a good day they usually do not say thank you or yea you too.
idk what it is with people Hawaii and i see half the population walking around with scowls on there face whats there to scowl about beats me, Our race needs a big transformation, and the little things do help in a way I mean if you can Make one persons day or enlighten one person maybe they will enlighten the next guy and so on, you can only hope that something like that would make a change.

Its the same where I am in Glasgow Scotland. I was in India in January and all the people are so smiley and happy and friendly unlike here, its so depressing but I reguarly walk around with a happy face and people look at you like your a weirdo, or on the other foot people try and intimidate you and growl at you. Now im not walking around on a cloud all day like bloody ghandi or something spreading love like some it seems on here just sometimes adults, wee thugs, junkies, alkies all sorts of people have this im a hard man attitude in glasgow and they dont intimidate me and sometimes I will say whats your problem? im not scared and I shouldnt walk down the street being intimidated by some gangster wannabe twat and I get brought down by these hard man people, I know I know I should igonore them like my dad says but seriously Im not being intimidated by junkie and alkie fools who once they see your not scared or being intimidated they look pretty foolish and avert their intimidating eyes. Im really considering leaving the UK for a foreign culture because of things like this!

I totally agree the little things can make your day, and someone elses. Random acts of kindness is the way forward one of the best tools we have to make the place a better world so please do as many as you can. A few years ago I got interested in the possibilities of orgonite, I mentioned on a now defunct orgonite forum that id like to try making some, this american woman said thats great do you want some crystals? She sent me a big bag of quartz and rose crystals, I couldnt beleive it it was easily worth £30 and since that day I will send anyone who wants any some orgonite for free, something im doing today for a woman in the US who mentioned on a forum she would like to get some, I pmd her and said id love to help now shes going to do a painting for my mum of our dogs that recently passed away which is very nice of her, I didnt want anything she just wants to so aye kindness is the way forward, and I didnt need an english degree to say so! :lol:

 

[DoctorMantus]

Yesterday during the day me and my GF were on the way to the beach, and on our way we drove past a familiar face hitchhiking not someone we knew, but have Seen him around, so since hawaii is probly the only place to hitchhike and for it to be legit and safe, we turned around and picked him up, we had plans for the beach but ended up driving the complete oposite way, and ended up making plans to hang with this guy for the rest of the day, that was after we asked if he smoked, and he replied Ganja?
And so that pretty much broke the ice we went to his land, he smoked with us layed some knowledge on us, about hawaii and lots of political stuff, he obv talked about more than the two subjects, but the guy deff enlightened us, and we enlightened him, sharing our aloha is what me and my GF are all about, if We could just impact one persons at least everyday it can make a difference. but all in all the day was great and it was great to meet someone who had moved to the islands in 1979 and had connections and knew his shit.


A random side note- Why is it that you can go somewhere see a person a million times, and when you go back they dont even recognize you?

 

[obliguhl]

Thank you for sharing these beautiful stories about orgonite, hitchhikers and the love we must find in ourselves. Sure, we need to be self-sufficient, but i don't believe that everyone can be that all the time. Not to speak of the army of grumpy people who walk the streets - myself, most of the time, included. So let us look foreward.

I was feeling so sick and depressed today but somehow managed to get out of the door. The universe rewarded me greatly...I've met two friends and was hopefully able to give some comfort...then i met another girl i know in the supermarket....and now i feel much better.
Somehow, overcoming negativity gets rewarded ....

Hopefully it will motivate me to make the extra efforts...

 

[Steely]

I want to revive this thread.

I'm a very, almost disgustingly, neutral, calm, passive person. So when ever someone mocks me for what ever reason, I always shrug it off, or ignore it outright. It hits for a second or two, but then becomes easy to just brush off, because I don't think its' necessary to invoke any response over such meaningless events. Though, being passive is also my way of changing those around me. It always appears as a subtle hint, or even a simple joke about someones (unhealthy) diet. When I've thought about my ultimate goal for doing this, I've come to find that if you can't change people directly, why not attempt to create a train of thought that leads them to at least discuss the situation with themselves. Attempting this once and expecting results will lead you nowhere, so being persistent has been a huge part to these tiny hints.

I was outside in the garage where I smoke my pipe out of respect for my roommates (It does smell like shit if you don't smoke), and I heard two of them talking in the adjacent room that I must pass through to return to my bedroom. When I exited the garage back into the house, they were on the couch playing video games, one turned to me and said, "Hey" and giggles "So, you feeling better?". I responded, "Yeah, why?", and they both giggled to each other, then I asked as I left the room, "So how do your video games make you feel?"

"Nice and Relaxed." He sarcastically responds and continues, "It's nice having something that makes you feel good."

"It is." I say and walk off to my piano. They laughed and talked about me more (Very. Thin. Walls.), but what they said about me has not been the point, because I already know from having been living with them, how they generally act and that has become what I'm trying to passively change.

I sat down to my piano, and played a Rachmaninov prelude. There were some mistakes, but I recovered neatly and played it to the end. After the the final part of the song comes to an exploding, ultra loud conclusion that slowly fades off to silence, I yell out to my roommates in the other room, "Can your video games play that?" They laughed, and I felt a creepy sense of accomplishment.

I apologize to anyone who felt this rant was centered around me. I do think with persistence something can happen, but I do not expect to see any change occur at all because I am content just going about things in my own way. I figured this time around I could do something for me by standing up for myself, while helping them push toward thinking about their own lives, in an endless possible amount of ways.

 

[cellux]

Steely: this story of yours made me very sad. This sound so hopeless. Cannot you find people around there who could accept you as you are?

Another thing that came into mind: are you sure that you are not provocative on the inside? Perhaps this seemingly calm, detached attitude is really just a cover for a burning desire for love (and an accompanying hate which stems from your inability to connect to others in a meaningful way). That would be surely true for me. That's what makes that C# minor prelude so painfully and beautifully deep.

 

[obliguhl]

I must agree with cellux

I yell out to my roommates in the other room, "Can your video games play that?" They laughed, and I felt a creepy sense of accomplishment.

This does not sound like you're calm, but very hurt. I also shrug things off pretty easily, but not because i'm calm, or because it doesn't reallyy hurt me, but because i'm so used to getting hurt, that i found ways to surpress these emotions so strongly that it really feels like i'm calm all the time.

I know this because everytime i manage to open up to this world a little more, all i can feel is anger, and lots of it. Surpressed anger...

 

[Steely]

Steely: this story of yours made me very sad. This sound so hopeless.

Another thing that came into mind: are you sure that you are not provocative on the inside? Perhaps this seemingly calm, detached attitude is really just a cover for a burning desire for love (and an accompanying hate which stems from your inability to connect to others in a meaningful way). That would be surely true for me. That's what makes that C# minor prelude so painfully and beautifully deep.

I do appreciate the comments, as I had read both yours and obliguhls' messages this morning before I left for 12 hours, they have been very thought provoking throughout the day.

But as much as I questioned myself about this, I remembered when I was younger, still passive, but truly angry toward all things in the world. Though I admit to suppressing some anger or agitation still, I have ways of relieving stress, the easiest way being that C# minor prelude .

I know people love me in this world, and I know my roommates care as I do for them. If I didn't care about them, I wouldn't be trying this. I can't explain every which way, but I feel the love. And I know there are real people here on this forum too who care about me, and when I say I feel connected to people here, I know a lot of you feel the same way. I'm not one to be a hypocrite either.

The moment I responded after the prelude had finished was not one in a tone of anger, but in the form of a joke. We all laughed from it.

Cannot you find people around there who could accept you as you are?

As of yet, they have all shown they do.

that i found ways to surpress these emotions so strongly that it really feels like i'm calm all the time.

So what do you do to relieve that anger? I find that stress relief can easily include something like anger, because you don't need to fight a human, just a punching bag; and you don't need drop a bomb, you can just ride a bike.

Thanks again, but I respectfully disagree with you both on the matter. I apologize for the lack of clarity.

 

[Phlux-]

got a few to add - i dont like telling folk or it takes my prize out of it but :
Some lil things :
Once apon a time in Phluxieland there was a stoner fast asleep at 2pm in the day (the hero [me ])
He awoke to the sounds of shouting and the smells of flaming plastics - he threw his duvet off like a cape on a hot day and ran to see what it was.
A neighboring flat was on fire! and the dude who owned it - also all cape'd up sleepwear was freaking out - trying to put it out.
All other people watching this scene unfold were - like smoking ciggs and watching coffee - pointing at the various flaming items (nobodys bloody helping while this poor man watches his house and all hes worked for burn to the ground - why is it that the neighbourhood stoner is the only one that actually acted - and was running thru the flames helping the dude until the fire engine arrived ?)
i left without introducing myelf

another lil thing i do quite regularly but tell nobody is - if i see a family - that is homeless - and they ask me for something - il say no in the most i wish i could help way - if their response is understanding - i go buy em all a nice meal and some toys for the kids or whatever.

 

[unclesyd]

I dig threw the garbage/dumpster separating recyclables, I open doors for people, I help elderly folk/and or short folk in the store reach things on the top shelf(I am a tall man), I say please and thank you, I smile at people, I say hello(often get no reply but a strange look of you talking to me???), I stop for pedestrians, I play with other peoples children at the playground(along with my own) when they are sitting texting, etc, etc, etc.

It is the little nice things that make this world go around. It seems all too often these things are being abandoned for feelings of being suspicious, angry, weirdos, etc.

I reguarly walk around with a happy face and people look at you like your a weirdo

Or they look at you like your high, which I might just be, but that doesn't make you a better person than me, which is another look I get. Like how dare you talk to me you piece of filth!!

Peace and Spread the Love, action by little action.
:d

 

[Pandora]

Interesting thread and responses.

I want to suggest shining a different light on Steely's philosophy: Seems to me that there are as many different styles as people in this world/life and that some do prefer a quieter, even more passive path. I deeply respect this. I cultivate it for myself. It is difficult to achieve. One must be very awake at all times. A very careful, watching, hovering, stillness. And THEN, knowing when to act, with what level of urgency, self-risk, etc. and NOT hesitating to act to do the right thing to change a situation such that suffering is lessened and education is increased. There are many times when speaking up makes a difference, but many times when quiet stillness and allowing things to develop/unfold is more appropriate. Again, I feel it is about timing. Not being frozen into inertia or passivity by a habit of not acting; rather, always quietly, monitoring and sometimes acting to change a situation by saying little or nothing, by standing by or exiting.

I think most of us know right from wrong. The key is being taught empathy at a very young age. Many feel that right/wrong morality is intimately tied into religious indoctrination. I disagree. I believe in people. But, we MUST Teach the Children Well. The lesson is empathy. The action to help alleviate the issues and pain that empathy can ignite should aim to decrease suffering and increase education.

We live in dark times, an apparently degrading world, facing environmental, technological and political/military emergencies. The economy of many countries and areas never really recovered. Many areas have been urbanized and ghettoized for generations and few smiles may be found there.

And YET: My neighborhood isn't the worst, BUT, I am a minority race/ethnicity here, we have a very high population and high violent crime rate; as a matter of fact about one year a go two people where shot point blank in the head in a robbery gone horribly awry in the little convenience store across the street. Many local businesses within five square miles are only open Mon-Fri and close up shop via thick, rolling metal doors at 6:00 p.m., when the local businesses close. Sounds kind of tough, maybe not the safest bet for a 115lb middle aged female with little upper body strength. Yet, I go outside everyday. I do smile at people on the street (they don't look like me; many scowl or don't respond; a few smile back) and wish them a good day. I have found that for all the idiot gangsters out there, the truth is, most folks here are regular people like my husband and myself, struggling to get by, pay bills, raise families. They are frequently stressed. They are frequently pissed. They are frequently drunk and/or medicated. We all feel these things at times, whether we are mature enough to not act it out and take our issues out on strangers is another matter entirely.

I guess I am saying that there is as much room to do good as there are personal styles.

How can I possibly do any good at all spending most of each day in the chat room?

By doing what I said, trying to reach folks, decrease suffering and increase education. Once in awhile I succeed. Many times I am on the receiving ends of such interventions (SHADOWMAN-X - I found your post to be DEEP, and relevant - THANK YOU). Sometimes I go out into the world and attempt to do the same thing, when opportunity presents, with people, but especially with children.

Children are the key. Even during the darkest, most frowning times, when hope looks bleak, look to the children. Play with them. Learn from them. And TEACH them, teach them well, teach them EMPATHY.

Remember, this attempt to change the world with little actions, is a very good path. One intervention at a time, one person at a time, one child at a time. Few will appreciate it or thank you. For the one in 100 that do, pass on your love and tell them that in the future a similar opportunity may arise where they could help someone by decreasing suffering and increasing education. Urge them to act on that opportunity (or opportunities) when it presents itself and to PASS IT ON.

This is bigger than one ego, one woman/man, one life, one song, one dream, one poem. This will take longer than one generation. Whatever you do, please don't give up. I DO believe it is okay and good to work for a long term goal that I may not live to see. I hope you do too.

Peace and Love

 

[obliguhl]

About homeless people:

You can't really lump them together, but some are really more starving for genuine human interaction. If they ask for money, many of them seem to ask for emotional support. I'm kinda conditioned to not give them money for several reasons i don't want to elaborate, but i remember several scenes, were giving them a bit of change was more like the ICEBREAKER, some kind of ritual. It seems to make the first connection. The moment i realized this, i gave a street person a deep hug and he was so happy he kept on going away and coming back saying "you're a good person...you're a good person" with a big smile on his face.

unclesyd, keep up the good work!

Pandora, I think your advice Re: Steely is spot on. If you're quite by choice, you have to preserve the abillity to act if necessary. I find such a behaviour extremely attractive. If there must be a leader, he should have this personality. Very good post

Another update from me...

I was biking home through the park and saw two people sitting on the grass perhaps 100M away.
They were talking to each other and ones was wearing a gnome hood. So i looked at the girl and tried to do the "mushroom lock on" if you know what i mean. It worked, she turned her head and we exchanged faint smiles.

 

[ms_manic_minxx]

I used to do something I absolutely LOVED for work, it was absolutely good, I could take all the time in the world to help people, share knowledge, etc. It's actually AWESOME to do true good and have it be your job at the same time! But I didn't make enough money to live...

...so now I'm not doing it anymore, and I'm mourning it a bit. I'm doing something different, now, and the only neutral thing it does is make me money. Ideally, I will eventually funnel that into doing something for myself that is good.

I'm still nice to people. But the job I have now doesn't even give me half as many opportunities to be nice to people (let alone REAL with them).

I always try to talk to cashiers, like have a real human conversation with them. I had a friend who was a cashier. It's not great to be used by other humans as a machine. :?

I try to never inflict harm, and ho'oponopono when bad things happen (it can manifest outwardly or inwardly, it's a nice way to remain mindful and conscious in challenging situations).

Sometimes I do get tired and moody, though. :evil:

Sometimes when I am high, I panic and wonder if I am actually a cruel or selfish person. Most of it is residual guilt schematics stemming from rejection by militantly Christian parents. Some of it is probably that I could still be doing more.