long time listener, first time caller

[prism]

Hello everyone, I've been reading this forum for a while now and decided it's time to join up.

I'm an artist, in my thirties. I have a long past with various psychedelics, primarily LSD, but have been on a break for about 15 years. Even though it's been awhile I still consider that time to be an absolutely essential part of my life and love to talk about it with anyone who is interested. About a year ago I realized that my relationship to the cosmos (for lack of a long winded explanation) had been basically in a state of subtle decline since I stopped using psychedelics, despite being a devoted buddhist for 10 years. I began researching how to jump back in and ended up here where I learned how to make my own DMT using Cyb's tek. Since then I have had two experiences, both extremely powerful in totally different ways. I have to say that my relationship to the cosmos is in a completely different state than it was before.

This leads me to a sort of amorphous question that I realize might be hard to answer but if anyone could point me to some enlightening information I would be very appreciative. So, I have read a lot about people's experiences on ayahuasca, particularly in regard to their experience with "mother ayahuasca." When I was on DMT I had an interaction with an entity that had a benevolent, feminine quality. It felt like it cared about me and had a lot to teach. It was profoundly therapeutic. My inclination is that I encountered this same mother entity I've heard people describe. But I've also read that the b. capi element in the ayahuasca brew is what brings that spirit to the experience. I've also heard people say that mimosa hostilis has it's own peronality, etc. I suppose my question is, did I encounter the spirit of acacia confusa who is perhaps like ayahuasca? As I type this I am becoming aware of the problematic nature of my question but I am compelled to ask anyway.

Thanks for all the help so far.

 

[corpus callosum]

Welcome prism!

Theres a good number of members who have clambered back into the saddle after a long hiatus; I think it adds a useful backdrop and perspective to what DMT has to offer.

Your DMT experiences- were you vaporising?

Once more, welcome aboard.

 

[endlessness]

Welcome to the Nexus!

IME, if you smoke DMT enough times, you'll not only meet the 'femenine mother entity' but also the 'weird clown entity' and the 'crazy aliens' the 'sdaoswdjkwqjedoiasjdioj entities' and a lot of other name-able and unname-able entities, if you know what I mean

I wouldn't worry too much about classifying entities into neat groups and definitions, though some people might disagree and some work has been done into such classifications (for example refer to the 'hyperspace lexycon' in the wiki)

Personally, I find vaporized DMT more useful for a "WOW OMG WTF - Laughter - Crying - Existential reminder that life is so much more than we usually think" kind of shock catharsis, than for a more tangible inner development and reliable spiritual exploration. Don't get me wrong, I love it, and I think it definitely has it's place and can be used beneficially once in a while, but I find other tools like ayahuasca to be more manageable for a more regular and long term use. Ayahuasca is IMO more prone to facilitating personal development and spiritual experiences that can be meaningfully integrated into real life.

By the way, not specifically related but, if you havent yet, I highly suggest you read the health and safety section, most notably this part and the integration part after:

DMT-Nexus Wiki:Health and Safety - DMT-Nexus Wiki

wiki.dmt-nexus.me

 

[Rrryan]

Welcome Prism. Sounds like you'll bring a lot to the community.

I'm coming off a long break too. You've been more brave than me jumping back in. I've had only a few threshold experiences.

Hope you let us know how things progress.

 

[prism]

Thanks for the welcome you guys. I'm so glad this community exists.

Your DMT experiences- were you vaporising?

I did the sandwich method using mj. I actually just picked up some various herbs from the healthfood store because I'm not sure how much I liked the cannabis combination (and I love MJ). I feel like a clean landing would be nice given the gravity of the spice experience and I was completely stoned afterward. Enhanced leaf is very appealing to me.

Ayahuasca is IMO more prone to facilitating personal development and spiritual experiences that can be meaningfully integrated into real life.

It's taking a bit of restraint for me to not up and brew my own "chinahuasca" and go for the gold with the healing. I am resolved to do this the right way though. I just haven't worked out how to get to Peru yet. I struggle a bit with patience and the world that DMT opens up seems to demand it in all sorts of ways. Maybe this is one of the first lessons I need to integrate. What I would really like is some serious training on how to navigate "hyperspace."

https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me...trips_.2F_Dark_entities

Interesting you mention this. I think my second experience might be classified as a bad trip, or perhaps I encountered a dark entitity of some sort. Whatever it was, it was showing me truth just like the first time. Only this time it was dark and scary. It's clear to me that my life condition was lower coming into it than the first time and I wasn't treating it with the same reverence.

There was one thing that was very interesting to me about that trip though. While it was happening I resorted to chanting a mantra I use in my daily practice. I did this because I was scared so it probably wasn't doing much to protect me. It was almost like a song of fear. While I was chanting, I could feel things intertwine with the mantra, changing the tone in dark alien ways. Regardless of how frightening it was, I feel like that experience makes the idea of shamanic singing even more interesting because the sound coming out of my mouth was definitely modulated by an other.

You've been more brave than me jumping back in. I've had only a few threshold experiences.

Rryan, to be honest with you I don't think my experiences have been what people describe as "breakthrough." Both times I was aware of myself in the space I started in and if I opened my eyes I could see things around me. I want to go into hyperspace but I am kind of scared because the first two trips have already been life changing. Actually, one of the things I learned from the mother entity in the first trip is that the rabbit hole goes much, much deeper and I was pretty much just grazing the surface.