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Makin peace with my guardian?

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Second post, long time no see.

I will be trying to relate two experiences to you, of which the first was of a very difficult nature.
One could even say that it traumatized me a bit.

I was at home with my girlfriend and her friend, who now is our roomate on a monday, enjoying some coffee and cannabis discussing her upcoming move to our city.
They were going out to meet up with some friends and as it was a nice clear day i opted to stay at home to work with some spice undisturbed, which is a privelige i don´t have that often.
So after I had said goodbye I looked the door and cleaned up a bit, i proceeded to load my machine with 70 mg of spice.
Really nice white 3x re-xtalized spice. My first toke pretty much cleared the pipe, but i took another one just to make sure.
The transition was seamless. I was lost in a sea of purples, greens and oranges.
They would twist and turn and i would be sucked into them further as they fractalized. This was however, nothing out of the ordinary (well...as ordinary as smoking dmt can get i suppose)
But a clear presence could be sensed, somewhere...in the corner of my eye.
Is that a...face?
I opened up my eyes startled. I could see texture taking form...hovering at the edge of my ceiling.
I started singing some homemade nursery rhyme, somewhat of an icaros? i dont know...i was very afraid as I could tell that this texture had energy, that it had soul... it was alive.
I stared at it in panic. I did not dare to breath or to say a word.
I thought to open the windows and when i reached to do so it flew up close to me hovering over my body.
It flew down up close, so close that i could see a face.
And I... Freaked out. I panicked.
I was in shock but screamed at the top of my lungs; AWAY. GO AWAY!
I´m so ashamed to admit it but I even kicked it as i leapt for the door where my dog was standing stiff as a rock staring right up at this spirit and as i looked back it made a move to come after me. I ran away screaming. Literally screaming at the top of my lungs.
It did not follow me.
I ran down to the second floor of my house. And sat down.
Shaking and freezing i tried calling someone fiddling with the phone dialing the wrong numbers.
I called a friend of mine who has had paranormal contacts in the past, to which i have been very sceptical.
He picked up and said 'Hello?'
I replied 'Uhm...uhm...my god,hi'
He ofcourse said 'Man, whats up? You sound weird...'
I didnt dare to say anything...so i just hung up.
I managed to get a hold of my girlfriend and i rambled on, i suppose i couldnt have been making much sense.
I remember telling her that i had made a real contact with some sort of extraterrestial beeing and had never been more scared.
Truth is, i have never been so scared.

This experience made me deadly afraid of smoking the spice.
I guess I had up to this moment been a bit reckless with smoking. Always having my machine loaded and smoking on a whim whenever i felt like it.
I guess i just overappreciated the stuffs anti-depressant qualities and overdid it.

Now as i´m writing this 3 weeks has passed.
Yesterday i decided to smoke.
Same dose different setting. I had made sure that my girlfriend was present so i would have support if needed.
I was placed on the couch and took one long inhale as this is the technique I am most comfortable with.
To me it seems that tolerance builds up so quickly that its all about the first toke.
I shut my eyes and saw a kind of vaulted dome complex taking form as outlines before my eyes.
Suddenly my eyes were open. What was that sound?
I looked in front of me and saw my girlfriend sitting by the computor. Heard birds chirping outside.
I thought, did i forget what happened? Has this happened before? I'm pretty sure it HAS! ( a sidenote: it has happened on many occasions that i have come out of a dmt-trance to see my girlfriend sitting by the computer with her leg tucked in under the other, hearing birds chirp outside so yeah, real deja vu)
I asked her to come sit by my side. Think i made an attempt to ask if i had been out long but didnt really get the point across.
I closed my eyes again instead and saw... a creature of some sort.
It looked like a cross between a beetle and a mantis. It was composed of orange light and red haze.
It had two long tentacles and two rombshaped eyes. I could see it kind of 2 dimensionally but it had an amazing depth.


Might have been several but there was a distinct one. One that I could see clearly. It had a clear reptilian but still insectoid vibe to it.

I opened my eyes. I always do when the visuals get to overwhelming. It's a weakness I have to admit.

As the last time...I could see it in the room. Opaque light looking as a cloud of sorts. It once again flew up over me and hovered above me.
As it flew down close like last time I said 'No, no, not so close. I am sorry for the last time, but i am unsure of your intentions and i have never encountered anything like you before.'
It made another move to come close and i once again said 'No. Please keep your distance.'
I got up from the couch and went down the stairs to stand at a safe distance.
It hoovered down and once again came up really close.'Please I ask you' I said, 'Do not touch me, i do not know your intentions. I don't even now your language.'
I asked my girlfriend to come stand by my side.
It hoovered to her left side and i could see it examining her very sceptically.
I said 'This is *********, she is my wife. I love her very much.'
She passed me a blunt that she was smoking and as she did the spirit came up at me with great force and speed.
'Whoa,whoa,whoa! Calm down!'. I paused and looked at the blunt. 'Weed!? Is it the weed thats bothering you!?' and as i said that...he vanished.
'You've got to be kidding me? All this for some weed?'

I was kind of laughing. Not really the kind of rofl, more of a relieved; maybe-someone-actually-is-looking-after-me-giggle.

I said i'm sorry but i'm going to smoke this blunt anyways. I just bought it man. You seem to now how i work anyways.
I smoked the blunt and if i didn't live in europe i'd honest to god say that the joint was laced or something.
I got as many negative effects as you can from smoking weed.
I had huge problems forming coherent sentences. And remembering them after i said them was impossible.
I sarcastically asked my girlfriend; 'You think an extraterrestial beeing could show me the bad qualities of weed on purpose?'. Her answer was 'Yeah, i guess so...why?'. 'No reason'.
5 minutes i'm going outside and checking to see that my creditcards in my right pocket as usual.
It wasnt. It was in the left pocket. But I dont have a left pocket.
I had put my jacket on inside out.

Maybe someone is looking after me.

I will try to take his advice. And will not smoke again until i feel that my system is clear of cannabis.
 
Funny enough, I'm also waiting until my system is clear of cannabis before dreaming again. I have the strong feeling that the Spice realm doesn't like cannabis (though this could be a very personal thing).

Thanks for the report! :)
 
The spice seems to dislike us forming dependence on anything in our lives. When SWIM went through a rough spot and started drinking to take the edge off, instead of drinking to enjoy it, hyperspace indicated some *very* strong opinions on that.
 
ocelot said:
Funny enough, I'm also waiting until my system is clear of cannabis before dreaming again. I have the strong feeling that the Spice realm doesn't like cannabis (though this could be a very personal thing).

Thanks for the report! :)

On my behalf it seemed as a very personal message, but at the same time I have also felt that the spice in different ways dissaproves of the cannabis when it is used to dull the mind.
I wish you well with clearing your system!
 
ragabr said:
The spice seems to dislike us forming dependence on anything in our lives. When SWIM went through a rough spot and started drinking to take the edge off, instead of drinking to enjoy it, hyperspace indicated some *very* strong opinions on that.

Well I do have lots of vices that could have been targeted, however my weedhabit have been causing some troubles lately.
Mainly of the economical sort.
So it could be a mirror of my own current feelings towards dependence.
I however am certain that this is an autonomic beeing I have encountered so in this case...I don't know.
I guess it boils down to if its the medium or the message.
Such a discussion has never rendered much, when the message is right there.

Thank god for the nexus! I would be pretty socially stigmatized were it not for this forum. :d
 
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