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Many Wounds Uncovered and Healed

Migrated topic.

Valmar

Esteemed member
PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Tired
(physical condition) Set: Tired
Setting (location): Home
time of day: 7:00PM ~ overcast
recent drug use: N/A
last meal: 5:00PM ~ some middle rasher bacon

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 65kg
known sensitivities: N/A
history of use: moderately experienced

BIOASSAY

Substance(s): Shipibo Cielo Caapi, Acacia Confusa Root Bark, milk, honey, salt
Dose(s): 130 grams, 13 grams, 1.5 litres, 6 tablespoons, a few large pinches
Method of administration: cup of mixed brew


EFFECTS

Administration time: T=0:00 ~ First cup :: T=5:00?? ~ Second cup

Duration: 10 hours
First effects: T=1:00, because of all that milk
Peak: 1st dose ~ T=1:30 ~ T=3:00 :: 2nd dose ~ T=6:00 ~ T=8:00

Come down: 1st dose ~ T=4:00 :: 2nd dose ~ T=8:30
Baseline: T=9:30

Intensity (overall): 4 ~ holy shit!
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Implesantness: 4
Visual Intensity: 1
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS

Hangover: 3 ~ feeling crushed and depressed ~ better now, though
Afterglow: 0


REPORT


This was a pretty revealing and powerful healing experience, and not just for me. ;)

I had brewed around 130 grams of Shipibo Cielo Caapi vine and 14 grams of Acacia Confusa root bark with the Herbal Percolator extraction method, and boiled them down together. The combination smelled absolutely disgusting. It tasted even worse. The Confusa aspect tasted almost like rancid nail polish. Nasty stuff. I drank at home, so the intensity of the experience was confined to my bedroom and toilet.

I was guided to drink this amount, with Confusa, being told that Mother Ayahuasca was fine with it. Hesitantly, I focused on the brew I was yet to drink, and called out to Mother Ayahuasca. She appeared shortly, telling me it was fine to use Confusa. Seems like Mother Ayahuasca, in the past, telling me to use no DMT admixture was merely a trial in itself, to see how long I could last.

I had some milk, sea salt and honey available, to make it all halfway tolerable. Copious amounts of honey, and huge amounts of milk and water. I resisted wanting to drink, but I drank it, after a while of my tiger spirit guide persistantly telling me to drink and asking if I wanted help. Eventually, I caved in and accepted the help. I drank tons of milk to ease my mouth, throat and stomach nausea... milk does contain some tryptophan, so be careful!

So, I sat down and meditated for a while. Eventually, the brew hit me very strongly. Suddenly, there was a strong energy, of Mother Ayahuasca's and Confusa's combined energies. Rather like Mother Ayahuasca's energy overlaid with what I could only describe as Confusa's... it was almost insect-like, curiously. There was no light show, nor blazing colours, no open-eyed visions. Rather, my Third Eye became stronger, and I could sense / see my spirit guides far better than before.

At some point, my Shadow coerced me into taking it into my being. A bad choice, in retrospect, because it almost caused me to lose my sanity, again, quite a few times. Thought I was slowly going mad, with it pulling at the edges of my mind. My tiger spirit guide grumbled at me for making such a silly decision. Thankfully, when I accepted my tiger spirit's offered help again, she helped isolate it from me. And so, my Shadow became very angry with me, and took its revenge.

I was taken through many dark tortorous visions which seemed all too real... this went on for a while, until my tiger broke through the dark mental shroud and rescued me from the dark ocean. She kept reminding me to stay in reality, that she's here to protect and guide me, as I protected and guided her in our previous life.

Then, a painful memory floated to the surface, my tiger spirit guide again guiding me and telling me to have courage. My guardian spirit guide? Many lifetimes ago, I had murdered him in cold blood... and he had been my best friend. Why had I murdered him? I still don't know, just that I had. He had made a promise to protect and guide me no matter what. He knew I wasn't in my right mind, and still came to guide me... undoubtedly, there are deeper layers to that than I currently know. He reassured me that everything was fine, that he forgave me completely.

Quite a few times, a personification of Death, skeleton, black robes, scythe and all, came to visit. The energy, for want a better word, the presence of Death literally screamed of pure, unadulterated death and destruction. For whatever reason, I had subconsciously summoned Death to do something... and so Death did. As Death stabbed me, my tiger spirit guide acted a shield, for all it was worth... which was literally nothing. I realized that Death was more than just a death-bringer, but also a transformer of energies and a giver of rebirth and renewal. Somehow, after Death had finished Its stabby work, I felt... strongly re-energized, with a renewal of purpose.

After a while of recuperation, it was like I remembered there was something I had to do, so I reached inside my tiger's chest, with her permission, towards her Heart chakra. There was a dark nodule of pain. Panicking, she asked what I was doing, to stop! But, I couldn't. I had this inner drive to heal her. I feel that my soul was guiding me to keep going, reminding me of something that I forgotten, something I must do.

After a small struggle, eventually, she grudgingly confessed, feeling very uncomfortable; she had mistakenly murdered someone in a tribe I was part of in my previous life, a Peruvian one, I think, and I had been outcast for protecting her, by taking the responsibility of the crime myself... eventually, years later, I was allowed back into the tribe, because they needed my help. So, healing this was difficult. So much emotional pain that I never knew she had locked away. She fought me the entire time, deeply angry for feeling I had violated her trust in me, and suffering deeply. She even full on bit me, snarlingly and with hate. I remained obstinate though... in the end, she asked for forgiveness for her irrationality, and so I did. She reminded me that our friendship was a strong as ever. She knows when I'm not myself, and I knew she wasn't herself.

She was utterly exhausted, so I restored her energy, though she kept falling unconscious from time to time. She eventually stabilized, however. When she was well enough, I was put through trials to test my character, to draw out emotions that would have otherwise stayed hidden. Anger, pain, hatred, all knotted in my chest.

I did vomit quite a few times, releasing emotional pain, as well.

Overall, an exhausting night.

Many thanks for reading! :)
 
Good report, thank you.

Ha, "rancid nail-polish", that's a new one...I personally think that ACRB smells like indole, or even DMT, I actually kind of like it, even though it's difficult to drink, I mean when I'm blending ACRB in the coffee grinder it emits this DMT like aroma...

When I was a child I would get these crumbly rubber bouncing balls from 25¢ vending machines in front of the grocery store, and I would end up chewing on them, these crumbly rubber bouncing balls always taste and smelled like DMT to me, or every time I smell DMT I think of those...

The milk did not upset your stomach? or cause in issues? Tyramine rich foods are recommended to be avoided with an MAOI, though with a reversible MAOI Tyramine is not as big of a concern, however I still think milk would be difficult to consume with yagé.

your Tao Te Ching quote in your signature is one of my favorites.

-eg
 
entheogenic-gnosis said:
Good report, thank you.
Thanks, eg. It was completely unexpected, but it happened anyway.

Also, I forgot to write, now it comes to mind, throughout, I had run-ins with Death... hood, scythe and all, symbolic, I guess. Death's energy was... very unsettling, if not scary. It was almost literal death, very, very dark. Made me want to run very far away, but I had no fear, because I knew Mother Ayahuasca, Confusa and my spirit guides were with me.

entheogenic-gnosis said:
Ha, "rancid nail-polish", that's a new one...I personally think that ACRB smells like indole, or even DMT, I actually kind of like it, even though it's difficult to drink, I mean when I'm blending ACRB in the coffee grinder it emits this DMT like aroma...

When I was a child I would get these crumbly rubber bouncing balls from 25¢ vending machines in front of the grocery store, and I would end up chewing on them, these crumbly rubber bouncing balls always taste and smelled like DMT to me, or every time I smell DMT I think of those...
DMT? I wouldn't know... I find extracting DMT to be a pain, and prefer my oral brews instead. Maybe I'm just too lazy. FASA's not that difficult, yet I constantly put it off.

entheogenic-gnosis said:
The milk did not upset your stomach? or cause in issues? Tyramine rich foods are recommended to be avoided with an MAOI, though with a reversible MAOI Tyramine is not as big of a concern, however I still think milk would be difficult to consume with yagé.
Well, I did so because I was wasn't sure whether I could hold it down. I've heard that milk binds the tannins and reduces nausea. Certainly makes it easier to drink. I think I prefer Chacruna's taste and texture, to be honest.

entheogenic-gnosis said:
your Tao Te Ching quote in your signature is one of my favorites.

-eg
Thanks again, eg. There's indeed something profound about the simplicity of it. While Lao Tzu may not have been speaking off the Dao in a spiritual sense, it still applies very readily. Something about the description of depths of the DMT flash reminds me of the quote.
 
My impressions of death are very bright, similar to the initial flash, it's a disorienting rush of movement and color as your conscious-being is torn from its currant physical vehicle, it's infinite beauty and understanding...

we all sit on the precipice of the most fantastic and amazing adventure imaginable...

There are negative aspects to death, but ultimately I don't see it as a negative thing...I feel the deeper understanding one has of death, the easier it is to let deeply programmed connotations of negativity and darkness slip away from the concept...

People fear what they do not understand, and people attach dark, negative, and evil images to things which they fear...and death is one of the hardest aspects of existance to understand, and as a result is the most feared.

I'll leave with some mckenna, and some links to some sites outlining death, and the theory regarding it.

The metaphor of a vehicle--an after-death vehicle, an astral body--is used by several traditions. Shamanism and certain yogas, including Taoist yoga, claim very clearly that the purpose of life is to familiarize oneself with this after-death body so that the act of dying will not create confusion in the psyche. One will recognize what is happening. One will know what to do and one will make a clean break. Yet there does seem to be the possibility of a problem in dying. It is not the case that one is condemned to eternal life. One can muff it through ignorance.

Apparently at the moment of death there is a kind of separation, like birth--the metaphor is trivial, but perfect. There is a possibility of damage or of incorrect activity. The English poet-mystic William Blake said that as one starts into the spiral there is the possibility of falling from the golden track into eternal death. Yet it is only a crisis of a moment--a crisis of passage--and the whole purpose of shamanism and of life correctly lived is to strengthen the soul and to strengthen the ego's relationship to the soul so that this passage can be cleanly made. This is the traditional position...What psychedelics encourage, and where I hope attention will focus once hallucinogens are culturally integrated to the point where large groups of people can plan research programs without fear of persecution, is the modeling of the after-death state. Psychedelics may do more than model this state; they may reveal the nature of it. -terence mckenna


-eg
 
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