Exp. Report My DMT journal- tentative steps, cosmic bounds.

[saprOtrOph]

Greetings dmt nexus, find attached my well wishes.
I've just started getting to know- and love- the DMT experience. Here's are some stories that talks about just that ("that", in THIS instance, being, my getting to know- and love- the DMT experience.)
Anyway, on with the thread, chronicalling my getting to know- and love- the DMT experience...



-SESSION 1: Right place, right time. Only place, only time.-

The late evening sun casts a calm glow across the grass as arrive at our destination. My friend and I had been walking and chatting for a while and the time had flown by.
In my pocket, I feel the doobtube concealing the DMT vape, rolling it around a bit in my hand- I'm feeling giddy but at the same time, there is a considerable amount of preflight jitters present.

Heart pumping overtime in anticipation, I take one final look around before sipping a long, slow hit on the vape.

Since the piece had been sitting dormant a while, I'd put a hairdryer to it after charging, in hopes it would get the solution ready for vaping- still, I considered that this first rip may well just have been getting the vape back up and running, so when I held it as long as possible and breathed out no vapour I decided to take another moderate hit.
No sooner had the second hit my lung did the first started to whisper its arrival at destination, and that whisper quickly became a shout.

"Whoooooooaa boy, here we go!" I thought, passing the vape to my friend and keeping my gaze fixed on the horizon point of the sea before me.
My field of view seemed to expand considerably, the starkness of that almost giving me fisheye vibe for a second before a familiar, zapping tryptamine energy manifested and leapt into motion, a circuit around the base of the skull and the neck, up to the face, the eyes, I roll my head around a bit- there is a simultainous lightness and weight to the body and for a moment, I close my eyes, feeling the need to recline on the dappled concrete.

Unknown relief taking place, I'm so amazed by what I'm feeling.

My ears feel gently pulled or something, tension releases in my upper shoulders as I feel the blood rushing through the area, and there is slight increase to my baseline tinnitus. I'm familiar- from a friend more experienced with DMT- with the idea of the 'carrier wave', but despite this feeling LIKE the 'tryptozaps' often gotten on psilocybin or psilo & MAOI and so on, fails to have the orbitting sort of, building quality that they do.

I suppose that is to say, it felt more random, whereas 'tryptozaps' usually lead to something more all encompassing & immersive, like some tuning process.

Accompanying these physical sensations is a mounting euphoria, presumably induced in parts both by the molecule and the pure joy of experiencing something novel after so much anticipation! And with that, I'm awash with a feeling of connection, to the spot I'm in, my own emotions, the Universe at large.

Waves break, scrambling across the sloped shore, a breeze brushes my cheeks. An overwhelming sense of being in the right place at the right time.

"Wooooooooooooooooowwwwwwww..." I exclaimed, chuckling heartily and look back out to sea.
The evening sky gently morphs, shifting from a dusty pastel blush pink, to an oversaturated bubblegum goo and back again, an effect that is equally subtle and undeniable.
Additionally, there is a hyper real look to everything, which combined with my now expansive FOV has me feel the need to explore my environment, so I hop up gently and take strides onto the sand. Picking up a handfull, my thoughts are drawn to the vastness of existence, of experience and in my internal narrative I shout out to any listening party my intent, my message, my truth:
"I'M HERE, I'M [realname] SAPROTROPH!"
Profound.
The notion that I'm calling out to what- DMT beach spirits? Makes me chuckle again and I slowly let the sand flow out of my hand.

Within 10 minutes, I feel fully 'baseline' although in awe, this was not quite what I had expected, whatever that was. A gradually building & substantial antidepressant effect was swelling in me, I felt I had shed some of the accumulated stress of a pet illness that has been taking up a lot of bandwidth & round the clock care in recent times and had only just gotten resolved (or so I thought.)

For the first time in weeks, I had a genuine sense of lightness about me.

Soon after, my chum and I set off toward home, had a few dry herb vapes of weed and took our time appreciating the sunset.

 

[saprOtrOph]

-SESSION 2 Welcome to Goosebumps.-

After such a nice introductory evening with DMT, and a subsequently nice night, I awoke, sparkling, thinking with amazement to my experience.

Now that we're going with it, here's some context.
At 17 I'd tried to smoke a mager amount of DMT I had on hand in a bong and failed to get any effect other than taste and a mild buzz, somewhere after this- when getting more immersed in psilocybin mushrooms, LSD and the likes- I had abritrarily said "Eh, I'm not going to persue DMT till I'm 30."

This, as it tends to do, came round much sooner than I anticipated, and as luck would have it, some kind soul of a friend lent me their DMT vape. So only some months after my 'window' for getting to know the molecule opened, it feel into my lap.

Anyway, it was around 8am and after working out but before vaping any weed, I set up in the bedroom, starting to meditate a while with some inscence on and a small brass Avalokitshvara idol on the bedside. After some time, I felt ready as I could get, heart pumping crazily but generally centredI thought of my intention, to recharge compassion banks so to speak, and had a big long forceful rip.

Instantly felt ODD, moreso than outside (and I think because I had the vape too hot in the house) tasted very strong.

(I actually had a QUICK, immersive flash of a memory, being on holiday aged about 4 or 5, where my friend & myself [regretably haha] trapped a girl in a phone box and sprayed fart spray in there... Yeesh, true story and so weird how it just BOOM popped up.
Like "Oh, THATS what the taste reminds me of!" something, some constituent scent of that joke spray I hadn't smelled in 25+ years... I've had similar flashes of memory recall in meditation and psilohuasca sessions, but it's odd the resonance they carry after existing who knows where...)

I held that hit probably 20 secs, and when I didn't exhale any vapour, I took another, deeper hit, lightheaded feeling and body weighted down, I quickly turned the vape off.

My hands were too sweaty to put it away. It made me feel rushed and busy, so I gently put the tube on the bedside and tried to stay in the flow of my thoughts.
The room looked hyperreal, the contrast on the curtain voil made it look like big black pillars jutting into the fore and the circle of a decoration hanging in the window felt a strong symbol in my eyes afterburn style.

I closed them, trying let the anxiety pass on by, and appreciated the headspace, no discernable CEV at all but with eyes open everything had a bit of, almost pearlescent/prismatic ethereal weirdness to it as well as the same highcontrast stuff from the day before. The anxiety abated a good amount, but there was a type of emotional self analysis happening that although healing in the long run, felt quite harsh in the short term.

Some time later, after I'd sat through the effects and listened to music, I powered it back up and took one heavy hit, which got me to approximately the same headspace as before, but with a very a hot face/ sweating all over.
The playlist I had on finished, and some black metal I must've still had in the queue sprung into life.
What a shock I got, but rather than funny, it felt very eerie. I love listening to black metal on other psychs, especially in nature, but this time it was being played AT me, not FOR me haha.

Someone walked by the window outside around then, and that seemed threatening, as though they were a predator. I fancied I could sense it in a flash from their mannerisms etc. And in my nervousness, I felt like prey so I didn't go for any more rips because I was definitely feeling a lot of anxiety, so I just sat with that a while then got out and about town to do some errands.

Again, a big antidepressant effect set in, adding to the one I was already riding and I had a nice time walking in the rain to listening music.
Just feeling quite peaceful & grounded, intrigued by these new, short form psychedelic trips.

The way I described it to my friend, was that in this instance, DMT seemed to have an OMINOUS feeling inside. If at the beach it was a sense of "Welcome to the cosmos, my sweet child" then in the bedroom it was like "WELCOME TO GOOSEBUMPS BITCH"

It seemed pretty foreboding and actually very serious. At that moment.

In for a penny, in for a pound.
I was now invested in getting to know DMT, and later that evening I would take further strides in that direction...

 

[saprOtrOph]

-SESSION 3 The natural key.-

Late afternoon was meandering into early evening.
I set off for a walk & to do some litter picking at my longstanding favourite river spot. I decided to take the pen in case I felt up for it, and because I was curious, I didn't feel quite understanding of the effects yet.

I was already developing a bias toward the outdoor DMT experience, but knew I had nothing truly to go by yet, the flip of a coin essentially.

Off I went, plodding along, singing to music on my headphones and got to my safe spot- a small delapidated shack with a big stable, sloped concrete roof I often meditate on. You can see for miles, and there's no way for someone to reach there all of a sudden or anything.
Basically, I am 95% undisturbed in that place.

So I set up there and meditated a little and overall, I took 3 deep hits- having now taken more notice of how to rip this pen style vape opposed to my normal dry herb daily driver- intendinging to holding till blank, but in a more relaxed way than my previous, hits 2 and 3 releasing some trace vapour but still very much in the timeframe required.
Then I felt something INCREDIBLE.
I cant describe it well enough, but as the effects rushed on and I decided I didnt NEED to feel this anxious (often chanting for practical reasons anyway, I could really only think of 'Ram' so I thought RamRamRamRamRamRamRam...) feeling, the fear was immediately replaced with serenity.
The smell of indole, the taste... It seemed to radiate outward from my lungs, from my olfactory tracts, slipping through vessels, zapping through nerves. This being the first day I would say I found an enjoyment in it, the richness of the taste. I didn't like it yet, although I now do.

Feeling deeply connected in this spot is common whether sober, stoned on weed or on lsd/ shrooms.
It's a place of gathering Te & where I am in a communion with the Tao, my main nature spot for meditating and litter picking and I feel very safe there, but this felt lovingly familiar in a way that I couldn't quite pinpoint, rather than the primal nature feelings. A different falvour than, lets say "energy profiles" I've come to associate with other experiences.
One gull, was flipping out. Shouting at the other birds of its type and flying frantically, swooping, shouting, spiralling down, shouting, rocketing into the sky, shouting. I supposed as though the flock were rolling their collective, beady eyes, like:

"Comoooonnnnn- every night with this!"

The wind whipped up a dervish and seemed to cradle me, like as though actually hugging my ribs and inside my ears, I fancied I sensed a prescence of some sort- like when someone comes into the same room as you and you just sort of know- and I felt a sense of being rewarded for something, of pride and of belonging.
The tips of the trees across from me started swirling and dancing in a really captivating way, with some mirroring & uncertainty around scale developing and once more my FOV was cranked, fitting so, so much more in one eyesworth than usual.

Listening to the wind I became aware of the swans, the seagulls, the heron- it was immediately apparant that they had their own lives, in fact life was all round me!
Duh.

All of a sudden I felt like a man on a mission, thinking: "If something is here with me, THIS is what I'M here for."
I felt proud to protect & maintain the stomping grounds of this community of animals, got my gloves on, bag out, litter picker brandished, I carefully climbed down and started picking from the riverbank.
As the starkness of the molecule continued to ramp down, the antidepressant factor ramped up and funnily, I felt estimated 12 or 14 foot tall compared to looking at the ground. Very dreamily wandering, now with headphones back on playing "healer tape" by Antent, then "Face of Pan" from the film Hook and "Dead soon" by Tipper, most memorably. The wind down of this one, brought to mind some psilohuasca style feelings.
Very dreamy.

Got a good bagfull but the main event was singing walking along, feeling that novel, ambiguous connection on top of my usual one there, deeply nourishing.
I noted in my journal that night, that I think doing it in nature is VERY legit.
Inside felt so anxious and restrictive outside feels cosmic, expansive, like belonging.

After this session, sadly my pet became ill again and further experimentation with DMT was delayed for around 3 weeks.

In retrospect, this was a perfect interlude point, as I felt as though making good steps towards a relationship with this- novel to me- psychedelic ally, in a gradual, respectful and honest way.
Not just that, but the antidepressant effect, AKA the best afterglow I've ever felt, stuck around in spirit after the chemical/physical notes decayed.
This, in itsself, proved as instrumental in the following stressful, drifting weeks of little sleep, vet visits and lots of worry.

After those 3 weeks, when her health was once again stable, I found myself charging the pen, lighting some inscence and setting up in the bedroom for another early morning session...

 

[saprOtrOph]

-SESSION 4: Neitherworld-

This particular morning about 7 am, after administering my pets medicine, I went back to the bedroom, lit some insence and a little candle, closed the door.
I put on my headphones with some instrumental music queued up and meditated a bit.

Pen on. Ripped it 3 times, and one more big 'un for good luck...
Closed my eyes and laid back.
My tinnitus kicked in HEAVY and I felt the familiar loosening of my neck and head, zappy. Ballooning.
My body was feeling... Interesting.
Being a practioner of chaos magick (whatever that means, haha ; ) ) meditator and so on for a decent while, I am familiar with adapting to a flow of anomylous physical feelings, there was something akin to cycling energy during the 'middle pillar' ritual that was going on in the body.
It was feeling heavy but energised, as though I am subdued but filling up with strange, unfamiliar vitality.

A flash of physical awareness- I could feel wetness on my hand, my palm was sweating clutching the vape, again I could feel as though the DMT/indole scent was tendrilling from through my lungs and outward into my body, I let go of my last breath.
I felt a sense of panic ramping up, accelerating, everything closing in on my perception, so started trying to think "Love, love, love" but there wasn't tonnes of use for words it turns out, everything was so fast a word wouldn't stick around.

Boxes came into being in the upper portion of my closed eye visual space. I feel like I'm falling, or flying, in a sort of capital J pattern.
Being, I'm in the small bit constantly 'falling' up toward the long bit, but never turning the 'corner'.
It's really fast.

I was feeling as though something was joking around with me- an older brother sort of energy:
"There you are there you are!"
astrally jostling me, but despite it perhaps having no intention to harm, since I am the 'little brother' I'm naturally scared by it because I don't KNOW it's a game we play together. Odd yes, but thats the 'message' of that feeling of emotional resonance, the feeling itsself tells the story, or suggests the scene.

So I can see sort of smooth edged boxes or cells, with undulating lines growing across into complicated filling, sort of thing, and although closed eye begins black- or at least 'psychedelic black', the upper portion fades with a sense of motion as I myself seem to travel, as though my self and the entire visual field is being squeegeed down- letting an exagerrated in tone but muted in hue- chromatic wash fill the patterns. It pulsed slow and casual colourwise, in contrast to the speed of it's designs motion. Cyling different colours, gradually phasing.
If you've ever seen a tshirt be screen printed, imagine that from top down, but you're travelling toward the origin of the squeegee point whilst the origin point constantly restarts/ never completes.

This was really quite fast, pulsy, felt like I was flying sort of- very light as opposed to bodylocked, even though I'd since stopped thinking of my body- when I did get aware of it in the bed more, it was a bit disorienting and I felt some fear or like I was for some unknown reason in harms way.
Fight or flight feeling, perhaps just my anxiety baseline, but I did intend and TRY to let go as usual.

Definitely didn't reach 'hyperspace' but I reached probably the 'waiting room' period of things. The whole experience felt longer than I expected, it felt quite a while I was doing that for, yet I looked at the time: an alleged 7:48am.
There was less dissolution of self, than on mushroom/psilohuasca 'breakthroughs', rather I was inadvertantly putting my 'self' to the side in order to pay attention to the inner environment, as opposed to having it subdued fully or stripped.

I reckon I was in the thick of it about 5 mins, then coming around for 12ish mins. I continued to meditate and let the feelings subside naturally.

On checking the playlist later, there was 2 songs I don't remember playing at all, in fact I don't recall any noise in this space. And although I didn't black out or anything of the sort, I certainly felt 'off map' or in new territory, in terms of where my attention was going.
Then I remembered the feeling of the mocking sort of energy and I though:
"Hey, WTF! How come outside is all cosmic love and in here I get the joker?!" so I took 2 nice long hits on the vape- and immediately on exhalation of the 2nd I had a rush of deja vu.
By candlelight, my black curtains lit up with OEVs, a combined field bustling with a combo of:
timeless what one may think of as Mesoamerican or Aztec seeming/Buddhist floral type designs.
Well, think the angular nature of those old patterns but with a smooth, Eastern lotus type sensibility you may see on a Thangka spreading (perhaps the Buddhist influence as I've been studying drawing such stuff) in a rippling, busy cycle.
The curtains throbbed away with this pattern- black on psychedelic black OEV with shimmers radiating, complimenting the music nicely.

One particularly beautiful moment, as I remember, was the blessed communion of the above visual and "Sleeper" by Amos Roddy, from the Citizen Sleeper soundtrack. Yabadabbadoo.

I sat and was thankful, felt a lot less body scare than before, although my hands still appear to be a bit alien, in fact my whole room is "off" by some miniature fractions of a something, I lose myself into that strobular curtain pattern and continue to listen to music a while, following my breath, feeling thankful and ready to continue with my day.
I trimmed several hedges with glee.

On reflection, I'm now beginning to wonder whether I'm feeling averse to my living space right now from these stressful times and that is contributing to my indoor heebiejeebies, so I took mental note that after this one, I was to try it again out in nature, to once again compare the experience.
And to take action toward why I feel like this toward my house right now.

 

[saprOtrOph]

-SESSION THE 5: Winston Churchill-

One nice afternoon my partner & I ended up settting off down the river, talking away and generally having a good old time in the Autumn sun, stoned and happy, relieved that our recent troubles are seemingly settling.
Along the way, we spotted a seal in there diving and surfacing, lounging about. After enjoying that a bit, we sat on a flat area and once settled, I pulled out the pen and had a nice slow hit.

By now I have a lot less jitters, but still a healthy dose remain. So as the initial effects began to do their rapid thing on exhalation, I got the second into me and put the pen back into my pocket. 2 medium ones are plenty for this, I think.

Breathing nothing out, I note a hint of fear, perhaps feeling protective/responsible for my partner although in a safe spot. It passes as quick as I almost latched onto it, luckily not biting the hook past the barb, and it slips on by.
I'm really starting to like the taste.

In that moment I'm distracted again, taken aback as I notice a hilarious detail: the buildings across the water have, in some sense, taken on a toy style feel!
Like tilt-shifted photgraphy, the little plastic people walking their little plastic dogs make me chuckle aloud, I turn to my partner and as I'm about to make some declaration of love and good feeling, a new distraction!
A 'model' train rumbles over the looming bridge overhead, prompting a crow to swoop from the lines, naturally leading my gaze to the reflection wherein the bridge was warping constructed of soft, pitted clay blocks. This alone was cause for celebration, of course, but when all the lichens and natural marks of the stone increased in visual depth directly related to my rising euphoria, I just had to laugh out loud! And stand up, I was quite energised.
All this must've happened in about, 30 seconds.

"Do you wanna walk out a bit more?" she asks, I don't need any convincing to head to the woods.
Walking feels extremely relaxing, my limbs lank and satisfyingly weighted and we see an interesting wake on the water.
At first it seemed a break from normal current splitting at the base of the bridge, but it maintained height.

"What do you suppose THAT is?" she asks "No idea..." my reply, as I chuckle a bit.
It's funny, it looks weird, alive and as I intensify my focus on this current matching our trajectory, it looks almost layered in a topographical map sort of way, I can see the shapes the ripple of it is made of in layers or something... Then, to our absolute hilarious delight, THE SEAL! He gradually reveals his full form, layer by layer rising up and out from the cresting hump of water. Snorting, he shone away in the sun. Christened Winston due to his resemblance to the prime minister of the same name, we continue walking, he swimming as he eventually dips out of sight.

What an encounter, and just like that, I realise how much stress has been lifted from both our backs just from this simple immersion in nature.

I'm on top of the world. With my enhanced visual acuity and hyperexpanded zeal, I spot a couple mushrooms, including some red roundheads which stand out a mile, and when crouching to take pictures of them, the combination of my partners phone screencover and my polarised sunglasse have the mushroom strobing wildly. Then, out of the screen and in reality there are actually swathes of LBMs on this level, hiding as they do in plain sight. Another successful jaunt.

Late that evening, a little while before the sun set, I got out for a quick litter pick down the river, and sensing luck- but limiting myself to 3 sessions a go- I took the pen with me.

Worth noting at this point, that I have a funny feeling about DMT developing by this point, where it's like getting the class pet to look after or something.
I feel like when I vape some, and open up, expand out into that dmtspace then I am allowing it, the esscence of it or the spirit, I don't know quite, to experiences those moments using my apparatus for the duration... Or something to that effect.
Anyway.

Compared to earlier and maybe because of the supermoon, the river is very flooded and I have to make extreme route detours.
Nothing much to note, other than having only one nice hit and when "hammock therapy" by Shpongle came on, I feel like I simply resided in the clear view again for pretty much the whole high, but rather than scare away the experience with judging mind or the like, "I'm" sort of aside from the experience while it just happens. So it remains effortless in its conception.

Any of the experiences I've had so far, where I manage to get where I describe above- maybe 2 or 3 of them fully- have me feeling some of the deepest introspection afterward, and most relaxed or tired.
Feeling as though in managing to stay "aside" for the duration of the effects, it's calling into effect some latently intrinstic endogenous healing script. Really, I love that feeling. Stumbling on that sort of feeling is what drew me to become a student of Dzogchen in these recent years, practical experience of residing in the moment unencumbered, unobstructed, unelaborated. Perhaps, to an amount, liberated.

Honestly, I've been happily surprised in some ways, that the emotional component shines as such a stand out part. Further making me think how it came to me at just the right time, unbeknownst to myself the genuine benefit it would hold beyond psychedelic curiosity.

I locked eyes with a sheep for a bit on the way home, then just dawdle away from the setting sun toward home, spotting litter with enhanced target recognition like robocop and soaking up the atmosphere.

As I do so, I'm thinking on repeat of a verse from the Tao Te Ching:

"Reversal is Taos movement.
Yeilding is Taos practise.
All things originate from being.
Being originates from non-being."

 

[saprOtrOph]

-SIXTION 6: Fin ?-

Some days after the previous session, I enjoy a single long hit in the garden early in the morning after finishing a few jobs.
It's another one without particular story telling incident, although it's a nice juncture nonetheless and feels pleasantly like 'popping in to say hello'.
I love the taste. How it spreads from the lung out, I love how it starts up a game of 'telephone' from my deep subconscious that- on reaching anywhere I can decipher it- holds a message of unknown intent, but curious magnetism... Overall, I'm just loving it.

Plus, as I go on, the realisation that I could get all my anxiety and whatnot out of the way on one trip by sitting through it and just letting it work itsself out, before going on to continue in approaching a few following ones with more eagerness than anxiety.
With that in mind, I set off that afternoon, many miles away to a nice secluded spot.

I arrived at my spot, over an hour of walking in the Autumnal glory.



Crunchy leaves gave way to some pretty squelchy conditions which reaffirmed the comfort that there would be no, or at least minimal dog walkers etc popping up.

Already feeling calm and contemplative from the walk in beautiful scenery, scoping out some mushrooms and so on, I parked my arse down on the wooden steps of the bridge and adjusted my headphones. Calm instrumental music with headphones half off so as to hear my environment too, the chattering birds, the rolling water, distant scratching of leaves, who were all creating a nice soundtrack to themselves.

Finding it easier just to get after it- and nicely prepared from my pilgrimage, working the body loose, letting the mind clear, the spirit settle- I get out the vape and take a long slow hit on it.
Technique is different, I realised, with the pen than the dry herb vape I'm used to suckin on like a milkshake all day every day, so I now try to inhale directly to my lung with a very sparing intermittant 'popeye esque' sucking of air through a tiny opening at the side of my lip allowing big and full hits, pushed to the bottom of lung w/ oxygen assist at thevery end before holding in.

By the time I'd held that one in, I was already feeling a bit wavy, I exhaled barely any vapour and, noting a bit of a hotness there (oops), turned the vape to a lower temp and hit one more moderate hit in the same fashion.
I could tell I was getting some nice hits because part way through the second, my field of view retracted and the saturation of the world started to turn up and change, all the reflections beginning to seem a viewport into some rippling crystal realm. I couldn't tell whether the Universe was my muse or me its, I just knew something was going on, and you could certainly call it 'appreciated'!

By the time the whisps of that one left, I was feeling shpongled. Or at least shpongljascent.
Not a "Oh shit I may be about to leave my body..." way but in a "Oh, my body is attached like a tree to this surface by roots!"
I hold a soft gaze on the Autumn trees in the background- they're looking back, melting.
Sort of like one of those pane glass water features who recycles its own flow for the effect? Well, these tress were melting and drooping/weeping in similar unpinpointable, recursive fashion, I was kind of focused on that- my lower skull full of a lightness, zappy energy interacting with my baseline tinnitus heavily, when I realised to my astonishment my visual field was becoming inhabited from the edges inward, by GORGEOUS OEV patterning akin to that previously mentioned floral/aztec sort of combination style. It held the prismatic hues of like an iccicle edge. Like when you look at the sun through an iccicle and it has almost an oil slicky effect to the clarity. Totally amazing.
It brought to mindthe forms of one of my favourite artists, Bob Venosa.

Well this drapery, seemed perhaps more ON MY EYE as a trunslucent layer that in the air/ between myself and the trees. This had me exhale, chuckling aloud and begin to look around at what else was going on, the nature scene had me filled with joy and curiosity, so I careful got up and walked around a little.

A swan drank from the flooded field and I gave a wide berth as all the flora patterned and morphed with my squelching steps as I started keeping an eye for mushrooms- finding they truly have this 'quest item' glow to them in the sunlight on DMT that makes them stand out so much, very cool, interesting and funny.




Their forms looking so alien after dmt, and the colours so perfect. I was feeling very high for a little while then moderately high for a good while, enraptured by the natural forms around me throughout as I plunged into mossy mycrocosms of moss & mycena, xylaria forests and ascocarpic artifacts.

I spent maybe a few hours walking home, finding shrooms, having a vape of some weed, listening to music, taking some photos etc.
By the time I reached a familiar spot, one that signals a last chance, a transition back to "society" I decided to leave it up to fate.

OH CELESTIAL CORD ATETHERED TO MY TEAT, MY SOUL, MY DESTINY!
DISTANT SISTER, COSMIC FATHER, DEEPST SELF, SPEAK THAT YOU MIGHT DECIDE MY DOINGS.
WHAT SAY?
And just like that, I was holding in the second hit, parked up by a big tree up & back from the waters edge.

The song "End of the world" by Skeeter Davis had come on a Fallout playlist, I let my eyes fall shut with the bright sun behind them as I held that 2nd hit, and on releasing, vivid, pastel ellipses started to step out and greet me.
They would intersect on each other like a venn diagram and then disperse as though a ripple, they were colours of the moment, the low sun, the covering skin, blood, glow, radiance.
So it was all a very orange, very peach sort of affair. Compared to the indoors in the dark which so far had presented to me as chaotic and full of frantic motion, these CEV were slow and plodding, seemingly to the musics pace and slowed by the suns warm rays.

I felt light as air and so happy, and to my surprise the song turned like... Hawaiian ??!
It gradually begun to sound more like a typical cartoon Luau than the actual song. From this it seemed lapsteely, maybe spongebobish and even Skeeter Davis voice seemed to change in its character, and there was a brief moment when her voice slappedback a bit where I thought "Hm, this might be hitting stronger!"
I wonder, whether the fresh weed effects added to the silly nature of this bit.
In bliss, I tapped my foot that dangeled off this big of busted stone I was lying on by the tree roots and just basked in that a while before walking home once again just out of pace with the setting sun.


_______________________________




All those years building up to this, I thought all I wanted to do on dmt was "breakthrough" and yeah I still will welcome that experience when it comes, but to my delight I have found so much depth, nuance & intrigue to the whole situation even at more lucid levels. The connection to nature on this stuff cannot be understated either and I'd be remiss not to note that caution should be taken when selecting outdoor locations for this sort of thing.

I daresay once I get back to a place, circumstancially, where I can enjoy mushrooms or LSD again- I'll even be looking at those ventures in a much different light!

For now, I'm in no rush to go after any more DMT experiences, and am just so grateful & happy for the time I've spent with it thus far. When I do decide to try it again, my friend has told me good things that make it sound up my street, so I think I may take 200mg of harmala extract and work up with that.

If you read that, thanks- I hope you enjoyed, whether it evokes similarity in echoeing your own sharing of moment with this marvellous molecule or gets you thinking of adventures to come.

Take care, live well and travel safe.

 

[Pandora]

saprOtrOph,

Great report! I really enjoyed reading this. Your prose has a poetic and organic flow feel to it. It felt like I was gently accompanying you.

Your settings outdoors are great and I really enjoyed your pictures.

You are so right that there is so much to be found and explored with sub-breakthrough doses. That is where I spend most of my hyperspatial time these days. Breakthrough awaits if you desire. I would recommend using self-extracted crystal if and when that day comes.

I was saddened to read about your cat. I'm sure your constant hard work and attention is maximizing her remaining quality of life.

And a deep and heart felt thank you for being the one in one thousand who takes a bag with him to nature and actively picks up (rather than drops down) trash.

Thanks so much for sharing such a well written and edited report.

 

[saprOtrOph]

Wow Pandora- you really brought a smile to my face there in saying all that.

Thank you.
As I'm touring the nexus, I have been enjoying some of your own reports in these last few days, too.
As you mention that feeling of gentle accompaniment in reading- I think that is part of a natural way to express the goodness of these experiences to other people.
Rather than as some, shock piece of fiction (and don't get me wrong, I have spent many a teenage hour hunched over erowid reading combination reports with titles like alphabet soup, or fantastical mythic musings of some exlplorer deep in the realms) the reports can become something of a celebration, inviting others to share & relate in their own feelings. More than anything else, I find freshly recounting the experience and allowing that time of reimmersing myself in the ideas & emotions of it via meditation, music and notes to allow me in moving on with life and keeping the trip itsself from becoming something I cling to.

Anyway, thoughts that came up from chatting with you that night on the live chat really influenced my experience an hour later, and I'm still putting that one together/ riding the wave of it today!
Take care, it has been a pleasure to make your aquaintance.

P.S my feline overseer is adjusting to her new lifestyle, in good spirits and is enjoying the likes of fresh fish daily and super DUPER deluxe blanket service. Speaking of which, it's about that time... *adjusts cat butler uniform*