My First Bad Trip ~~ DMT Experience ~~ 200mg of Changa

[FranLover]

Hi guys I am very happy to be alive. Earlier this morning I had my first bad trip...I have done DMT many times, shrooms, edible thc, mescaline, lsd, MDMA, and never had a bad trip...until today.

Its still hard to understand what when wrong. Before lighting my pipe with 160mg changa 1:1:1 dmt, harmine, leaf, I said "my intention is pure father...I want to see you and mother and rejoice in your existence and glory" and chuckled. "I don't have to say this, for you know your children, the sheppard knows his sheep." And lit the pipe. What insued was the most scary experience of my life.

I was sitting crosslegged in my regular smoking spot outside in the balcony sofa, looking at a lake and the animals and trees.

When I took the last toke and the vision enveloped me I began to meditate...it took very little seconds to notice that something was OFF, and that I was not going to have a good trip, or even a normal trip. I had somehow gone beyong breakthough into a mindspace where everything was utterly MEANIGNLESS This disgusting world had nothing to offer me...it was hurting me. My head hurt, my stomach hurt, my ego hurt. I had lost neurlogical connection to my muscles (discionection from body) in a way that was uncomftorble and painful. I felt like some kind of horrible paint or plastic that smells disgusting and that cannot think straight enough to save itself.

I went to the bathroom and tried to vomit, visions of utter nothingness in my brain consuming me. Sticking my fingers to the back of my throat would do nothing for this sickness was in my lungs.

So I would have to breathe to liberate myself.

Sweating insanley I turned the fan on max next to my bed and laid down. My body was not OK. My mind was not OK. But I will not call a doctor, my family will not find me here dead, I will wait it out and I will learn.

I smiled. Amist the destruction of my body, of my mind, of reality, and with the fear of never coming back to normal, I smiled and went into an intimite space of self love.

"I hurt myself...I'll never smoke DMT ever again...I'll never smoke anything ever again. Help me get through this father, please help me, please make it go away...make it go away"

Robots and utter blackness....no meaning.

And I smiled. My body sweating so profusley that I was stuck to the sheets (thought I could not even feel something on my body) and my hair was standing up. When I touched my face I would feel sorry for myself...my face was something sticky, hard, plastic...everything was.

Smiling, I though about a person watering a plant or something. I remember getting lost in the thought. I remember chuckling to myself "haha, the guy waters a plant!"

Ka-ching!

I was happy...I was...getting better.

Slowly the dmt exited my body over the next 10 minutes. Nothing felt so beautiful as feeling myself recover, breath in, breath out, realizing that I was actually gonna make it! I was not gonna have to go to the hospital or be scarred for life! But one thing I am gonna be is SCARED for life possibly.

I never thought DMT would show this side to me and hurt me so much. It hurt so much. But I love dmt and it was not its fault. I smoked too much, too fast, something technical went wrong, and the worst thing that could happen happened.

But I am so happy to be alive. So grateful and so humble. I do want to see my guardian angel one more time someday...but it hurt me so much it caused an immediate conditioning to stay away from it forever. And I will stay away.

The bad trip is unexplainable. I never understood it until now I guess. One second ago you were just normal ol' you hanging out and gonna trip and the next you lost everything and it seems irreversible.

When you have a good trip the head space is pleasent, joyful, alien...this headspace in a bad trip is despair, panic, blackness, and disgust, and its hard to pinpoint what part of it is despairing, panicing, and disgusting. It just is as a whole.

I took a bath, washed my teeth, and an hour later was in college, asking the professor questions and then did homework and all normal...but the animals, the chickens and the dogs, I think they can sense my pain. Deep down inside something really changed today.

Sorry for spreading fear and a bad experience. I do not wish to perpetuate it, but to tell the story of how a HORRIBLE trip may bring good things like gratefulness and an increase in caution.

 

[padawan]

Ouch. Glad you came back out intact. I had a somewhat similar experience on weed many, many years ago. To this day I'm convinced that something accidentally mixed in with the buds on that occasion - my bet is something plastic or other synthetic, like carpet fibers or some other shit floating around. It had an instant effect and I was sweating bullets almost immediately. Horrible, horrible experience. I don't even want to think what the same thing would be like on spice :shock:

 

[DmnStr8]

I have had a few rough ones over the years. They pop up from time to time. I made it through before I can make it through again. I started looking at it from the point of view as experiencing something unique, something special. I know that may sound odd but the thing is that this turns it into a positive for me. I laugh about it afterwards and shake my head saying "Man oh man!! WTF?!".

It just another side. There is no love and light there. It can be all too easy to value the love and light experiences over these difficult experiences. I find these difficult experiences hold tremendous value and I appreciate these experiences very much after I had integrated them. I feel they are a gift! They don't bother me anymore. It has been a long time since I had a difficult experience.

If I have another at any point I know what is coming and can use my personal tools to navigate as best I can. Laughter. Self love, as you had mentioned. Humming. Chanting. Singing. Or sometimes just simply remembering that it will be over soon enough. Try and find something positive about this experience and concentrate on that. It can empower you if you allow it! Don't let it make you gun shy.

 

[FranLover]

Thanks for the comments guys

After a lot of rest and peace I am back to my normal, unscared self and have renewed energy for focusing on my art (4 hours writing fiction sessions+1 hour classical guitar session for the comedown, which I started doing at 17 after a breakup.) It really is empowering dmnstr8! 8) I really needed to be shown the dark side to know dmt and the psychedelic experience more thoroughly.

And Padawan, I blame my bad experience on bad changa and bad smoking method. The smoke tasted really bad. Next time I am throwing it away if the puffs dont relax me and taste right. Plus, my whole smoking method is changing...I was too headstrong before...overconfident, taking three deep tokes in 30seconds. I am going to be more gentle next time.

Also Padawan...maybe you smoked K2? (spice)

 

[Exitwound]

It may sound banal, but there can't be light without darkness.

I never thought DMT would show this side to me

Nobody ever does, but I think you will come to value lessons of a darkside just as much as lessons of love

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

Hi FranLover,

Welcome home!

Nothingness isn't very fun, is it? I didn't think so when it happened to me. Oh well... it's good to learn the alternatives of somethingness.

I wouldn't put too much weight on bad changa unless this was the very first bit of it you tried from a new batch. If you used acetone as a solvent, maybe plastic contam... but if you made it with an alcohol - then unlikely.

That burning taste and smell - I've noticed it when I used to make enhanced leaf and changa. People talk it up like it's the goose that lays golden eggs - but I don't really care for changa or enhanced leaf; Too easy to burn. Coincidentally, a majority of my "bad trips" came from changa. I liken it to a few things: when you touch the flame to the herb, or even if it never comes in direct contact, but close enough to cause the herb and DMT to begin combustion, then I find the taste undesirable.

I'm the unpopular opinion, and I'm glad that others enjoy changa; but it's not my cup of tea. Everything that seems to be desirable about changa is completely attainable from freebase. Doesn't last long enough? You can extend it as long as you're willing to entertain it. "Easier to use if you don't have a GVG." Ok, fine - I held off on a GVG until a friend basically MADE me try one by buying it for me as a gift. (Thank you, Ess[Cee]. You have been a huge help during the growth and development of myself as a person. - I know this user in real life; one of the most genuinely kind and compassionate people that I've met.) After being coached by so many, "Oh try changa, it's so much more smooth and the onset is less rapid." - people begin to feel that is something to be expected. Nope. Changa can hit just as hard as freebase. It can be smooth or it can be fast. It can be "friendly" and it can be "oppositional."

So, let's assume the lore about changa vs. DMT has little significance in regards to how the experience is felt. Let's pretend the onset is the same and the length is the same. No matter if it is changa or freebase - burnt DMT tastes terrible!!! It's as you described - burning plastic, yuckiness. (Barf!!)

So, moving on to the experience: I was hesitant to post some of the troubling things that i've been dealing with in life. I had a very difficult dream on 02/19/2019. I've posted it in another thread; and I decided to add it to the collection of adventures that I'm using to write a story. The dream, as described, is not an inaccurate description of the events. I was hesitant to even make a post about it - because I felt the same as you: hesitant to perpetuate fear. However, you've got a much more patient approach than me. After being pestered for a few years, and constantly telling myself that it's all in my head... i decided: "F*** it, what if it's not in my head? It obviously hasn't gone anywhere, and my head says "GO!" so maybe this is some weird parasitic entity attachment or something?" I dunno. I'm not one to typically believe too much into the lore that is spread by others, but... "what if?"

In short, I tried every single diplomatic, honest, nonviolent approach that I could come up with... but then it hit me.... if this thing is playing a game of deception... am I being duped? So, against my natural instincts, I devised a very desceptive plan to eliminate the deciever. Especially after that dream - I was pissed. So, I took some weird advice and decided to let it have a little taste of its own medicine. It may have forgotten - "Give me a moment, got to get this weight up off my chest. Don't feed me sorrow, pain is a poison I digest."--(Where the River Flows by Collective Soul). So, I made the choice to consume it. Digest it. Transform it.

After a long hiatus from DMT, I'm coming home. I decided to pack up the GVG on Tuesday. Light dose- just to check the water and see where we stood... I've written about it, already, so I won't bother reiterating. If you want to see the event that transpired into what followed, see this: My time with the mantis... - DMT Experiences - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

So, last night... I decided that I was not finished. I felt that there were some loose ends. It's sort of like: maybe you have an argument with a friend, and they struggle and struggle to wiggle their way out of you being pissed... but, you feel that the feelings are justified. So, you stand your position and tell the friend that it's unacceptable (disrespectful) to act that way... so yeah, they cave. But, I was not satisfied with that result. I didn't want there to be feelings of shame; plus, I'm forgiving! Stupid, maybe, but forgiving. SO. To insure that our new agreement will be held out on "its" end, I'll be visiting rather frequently. Sure, it can try the pain method, or nothingness method, or whatever it likes. Having been to all of those places before... I wonder... is IT afraid of being insignificant? Does DMT have an ego? I think so.


Anyways. Long post. If it's not useful information, disregard it.

Take Care!
ACY

 

[ozzoes]

First of, i´m sorry you had an tough experience, your attitude towards it is one to be praised tough.

But i´ve a question to you, and anyone that came to this nothingness.

Since i too got to experience this nothingness, and like you i too looked upon it as something beyond breaktrough. I personally had an vast amount of great experiences fitting neatly into the structure laid before me by others and their reports. Amazing visuals, dimensions entities etc, the whole shabang.

I clearly remember an being told do you smell that? Sniffing the air upon this exlamation by something beyond myself and then being told do you finally see, we are not you. You could never fool yourself like this.

And then i pushed DMT one evening, havind satisfied myself that it won´t kill me nor stretch my mind far enough to break, always staying within it´s outer limits.

I ended up beyond breaktrough, in the excact nothingness you describe and my whole point of view upon these things changed. For what does it mean if there´s something beyond breaktrough? Something where interpertation is no longer possible cuz there´s no one doing the interperting..
Ever since i came there all structure has gone out of psychedelics. When i step into the DMT space now, not often anymore, i just end up in an undefined space (maybe i should say i end up AS an undefined space cuz there never is an I to be discerend) an less terifying version of the nothingness.

So my question is, how do you relate your previous experiences to this state of nothingness?

I´m sorry if me posing this question in your tread is inappropiate.

EDIT: OMFG, ACY, i just started reading your tread my time with the mantis.. are you my psychedelic doppelganger? Strikes so much cords within me it´s sending chills down my spine!

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

Hey ozzoes!

I have a strange feeling that there are many of us that have had similar experiences. It took me a long time to muster the courage to write it. I didn't know if it would be helpful for anyone... but I felt like enough time had passed and it could be safely presented in a fashion that was meant to be entertaining. There are many of my own personal metaphors hidden in the story.

Somehow, I seem to be the doppelganger of many! Lol. I think you'll enjoy the next parts of the story. I'm currently developing the character that will continue telling the story. I've planned for a third party to address the weary travelers.... catch them both of guard. Parts 6,7, and 8 will be a little more "fun" and less "serious." I might risk getting banned for creating a second account - but, it's literally to add detail and excitement to the story. When I finally DO announce that character, I'll offer full disclosure that it is indeed myself.

One of the purposes of this character will tell the story of an experience that I have had on LSD, and incorporate that into DMT integration.

If I've learned anything from psychedelics, it is: integration is not instantaneous. Integration is a life-long experience. Well, that's how it is for me. Not one day goes past without considering some of the concepts that were brought to my attention from entering the unknown. That's ok! I enjoy learning, and I enjoy discussing/speculating about the mystery.

When I write on this forum, it's a creative way to challenge myself to put my ideas to words. In real life: I either talk a whole lot! Or say very little - It all depends on the audience. Due to spending most of my time in solitude, I end up with a lot to say... but no one to talk to. So, I write. When I'm in public - I often feel that it's hard to communicate with others, so I say very little and just listen. Spoken word only exists for a moment (in our relation to time), yet the written word can seem timeless and endless.

Maybe that was the point of my "nothingness" experience that I had in that dream. I was genuinely concerned, after the dream. Waking up, gasping for air, and remembering how finite humanity ACTUALLY is, was scary. The thought of being locked into nothingness was even more terrifying. I'd rather be a human that had to live a trillion lifetimes, and experience every condition that "could" exist rather than be lost within itself... in nothingness... timelessness.


So, this loops back to some time in 2014. I was given the impression that (totally speculative) - upon death, we're given a choice, well... three: 1) start over, try again. 2) Enter nothingness. 3) ...... (this is my goal)... upon death - MAYBE, just maybe... we get the opportunity to create our "own" universe. When I say "own," I don't mean ownership. Upon the third choice, the objective perspective is dissolved and we enter our own division of subjectivity. Experiencing every condition that we've experienced as "one" through the actions of many.

In fact, I think that's how this place happened. I don't know all the details. But, deep down, I have a feeling that I am only a fractal of some force that is greater than my understanding. And that's ok. I'm here to learn... not to know. If I already knew, then I wouldn't be here to learn.

So, option 1) is out of the question. I cannot reproduce, so I will be the end of my lineage. I think that excludes the ability to start over. I feel that our children are often our vessels for "reincarnation." Though, it takes two to make one. One cannot make one; if my wife randomly becomes pregnant, we're going to have a VERY long discussion. :surprised :lol: Adoption is an option, but I dunno if that would preserve "me." Whatever that is...


Option 2) nothingness - yeaaaaaaah no. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and I have no desire to return to nothingness.

Option 3) - currently, this seems most appealing. HOWEVER! There is the catch, right? Well, I'm not any vision of perfection. In fact, I've got many flaws. If I (hypothetically) could do such a thing, would my flaws carry over? Would the there be parts of my creation that has felt the pains I've felt? Would they endure the weakness? Would there be much suffering? I don't know. On the flip side, I cannot be more appreciative for my life-experience. I'm not bound in suffering - not one bit. I have suffered. I may suffer in the future... but, I have also experienced great joy in life. I've grown. I've loved. I've made friends. I've bathed in beauty. I would not trade away my flaws in an exchange for nothingness. The joy of life outweighs the strife.

So, that's what I'm going to do. Or, try. If I'm wrong, o well. It was a fun attempt!

Oh, right! Suicide results in option number 2.... so anyone getting any bright ideas about "doing themselves in" so they can build a universe...sorry... (still subjective perspective) you'll be bound to timeless, endless, nothingness. If one is so miserable that they wish to opt out; then they will. The ultimate opt-out. The good news is that everyone has the option to choose! If this doesn't make sense, then give it time.

Take Care!
ACY

 

[FranLover]

hehe, thanks ozzoe After this bad trip how many individual trips have you had? 5,10,20? And you said they were all nothingess, so do you mean they have all been unpleasent for now?

The question is, how do you relate your previous experiences to this state of nothingness?

They both ocurr in the same space in the brain and your whole reality becomes the vision. This they have in common...up to there everything was going as planned, but it was the dead and poisonous nature of the visuals, an orange expanding something which had overcome my brain enormously, zapping my life energy, which made it something very different to the ENERGY LENDING;TRUE DMT TRIP, which is why I am on this boat to begin with.

This gets one thinking about Strassman and his intervenous high doses which led to alien abduction scenes and crocodile rape. Thats really scary. The brain does not enjoy high doses that overpower one's will...naturally. EYE CANDY is one of the best High quality visions one can have, and they ocurr at a pace where the brain is very comftorble (barley high!). This is a state of pure clean observance of pure knowledge and aesthetic beauty while completley aware of 1. where you are. 2. who you are. 3. How you feel.

 

[theAlkēmist]

Very interesting report, I’ve had a decent handful of these experiences, then again I’ve tripped hundreds of times. I think these experiences are quite necessary and relevant. They reveal the fundamental flaws of physical reality. When they do happen again (and it’s inevitable), just try and learn and take something back, don’t feel attachment to the negative feelings, just observe them.

This might possibly be the fundamental Samsara that Buddhism talks about, total nilhism.

Try not to take this as a bad trip, but as a valuable lesson about reality’s nihilistic nature. Maybe meditate on the experience.

And question Fran, are you Christian?

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

up to there everything was going as planned, but it was the dead and poisonous nature of the visuals, an orange expanding something which had overcome my brain enormously, zapping my life energy, which made it something very different to the ENERGY LENDING;TRUE DMT TRIP, which is why I am on this boat to begin with.

Can you elaborate on the "orange expanding something?"

Also, from the beatles:

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make

Should DMT always be the one to lend?

Take Care,
ACY

 

[FranLover]

Very interesting report, I’ve had a decent handful of these experiences, then again I’ve tripped hundreds of times. I think these experiences are quite necessary and relevant. They reveal the fundamental flaws of physical reality. When they do happen again (and it’s inevitable), just try and learn and take something back, don’t feel attachment to the negative feelings, just observe them.

This might possibly be the fundamental Samsara that Buddhism talks about, total nilhism.

Try not to take this as a bad trip, but as a valuable lesson about reality’s nihilistic nature. Maybe meditate on the experience.

And question Fran, are you Christian?

For one to comprehend this nihilistic nature...will take some soul searching. I will possibly meditate tommorow morning.

I am not christian, and have never seen jesus or christian imagery in hyperspace yet (buddhist, hindu, yes,) which is a shame because christian art is truly amazing. When I speak of father I speak of something I feel in my heart, and have seen in hyperspace. I have never understood religions really

I actually drew this father I speak of and have seen on my trips so here it is:

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

LOLOLOLOL

 

[ozzoes]

I am so glad i became active on this forum! It´s great to find people that are like minded and seem to be on the same path, or something like that. Whilst i do have a group of friends with whom i explored these spaces, my experiences seem so different it´s hard to connect them with theirs. It does me great good to find at least some people that seem to (insert proper verb here) this nothingness.

What you say about talking and writing hits so close to home, i cannot put the feeling it brings forth into words. I have a ton to say, but no audience to speak to, and when i do find myself in the presence of an audience that wants to listen it´s so freaking obvious that words are an ridiculously cumbersome tool for communication. When i mean A, i can almost be sure I’m saying B in order to express it, and the audience hears C which they interpret as D.. exclaiming i get what you’re saying. And this works both ways of course, when i am the one doing the listening the same thing is going on. It´s equally as fantastically miraculous as it can be frustrating at times; the struggle to express what´s on the inside. Even stranger still is that with the right people I can learn from the very things I’m saying, they are new to me too and it´s their questions steering.

What you say about death and the choices, i really don´t know, i just don´t. Not long ago i would´ve been aboard, but I’m not so sure any more about this thing we call a soul. There´s no me in the DMT space anymore, so what on earth would be the soul then? There´s just life, but this is not identified with anyone thing, it´s the multitude of things forming the space within we experience.. And any life always lasts a lifetime, a eternity..
But maybe it´s a coping mechanism i developed when my father died. Started viewing him as nothing but a influence upon my life, an influence that had done what it needed to do so it could now be taken out of life.. In that essence i view reincarnation much the same as you... but then again there´s these kids with memories of before apparently... it´s confusing.

Does kind of sound like your option 3 tough..

@FranLover

I´ve never been able to count the amount of trips i did, but it´s at least more than 10 times i guess. I wouldn’t call it unpleasant, it´s just so... nothing... It kind of feels good and i come out grateful and energised but its sooooo not what i had before... i wouldn’t call them bad trips. But I must say, i´m not a verry visual person at all, i can barely describe the faces of my best friends, I would´ve a hard time with my own face even. I never really valued the visual aspect of DMT that much.

I´ve started reading about 5-MEO and the experience seems to resemble what people talk about there. Maybe it´s time to extract that stuff and see what it´s about, i kind of get the feeling it´s time to hang up the psychedelic coat and move on with life..

I never looked into the strassman data i must admit, but that sounds truly terrifying.

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

Hey ozzoes,


I know how you feel about the "communication" effort to relay A but it ends with the final interpretation as D; while B and C were just the transition.

Hehe, the "choices" thing is totally speculative. It could be something else, completely. I don't think I have ever really talked about the theory of "the soul(s)" and the DMT "soul" exchange. I'm leaving that for another day! It might even be delivered with a pictorial explanation of "the three parts of the soul," and the effects of "inversion" and "rotation"

This platform is extremely simplified into a 2-D representation, though one unit (souls)[3 and one body = the number 4 ] can and will occur on all dimensional platforms. It will explain how our actions and reactions can be a singular cause that can begin a huge ripple of change in the "orientation" of the "souls." It's going to explain our "groups" and how we interact with the ones directly around us. It'll play with the idea of quantum entanglement and how that unites us with our "groups"... yah know.... I should just save it until the story is ready. It'll have much better flow with the imagery - though it's taking me much longer than expected to create all the diagrams.

I'll likely have to keep it minimal in order to effectively deliver A without the final interpretation being Z. Shoot, I'd be happy if I could deliver the concept in such a way that it could be interpreted as N. I think the minimal distance of interpretation would be E or F, maybe H. No chance of an A to D deal... unless you have basically followed all the experience reports and posts. I have little hidden pockets of the connected links that are randomly spread through out the forum; similar to connect-the-dots. Only someone that is capable of being as bored as I can be might take the time to go searching.

Or, if they don't wanna search... I mean... they can just ask me, directly. I'll gladly send a PM with the collection of links, and in the order that I think is most fitting (non-linear). I think finding them on your own might be more entertaining.... because (like this thread) many of my ideas are not expressed in a thread that I've created. I only create a thread every once and a while... only when there's something that I feel can be creatively expressed with an artistic interpretation - I love metaphors. I feel like I live a metaphor. Maybe I do?

So, even though this topic was started by FranLover, it's been a vessel for other people to discuss thier thoughts. This is often how I function - I wait for someone to say something that correlates with one of the ideas that (either I have generated, or they've been carefully placed by something else) resonate with my systems of beliefs, and then I respond...

I know, right? System(S)!?!? Yuuuup, I don't have a single, stagnant system of beliefs. My beliefs are in constant change, flowing with the orientation of souls and Life. One day I may tell you that life is just a dream; the next I may tell you that Life is the result of a single unit of souls that subdivided many times to form what we know as "matter," which then oriented itself to build "this." The next day I may tell you that the goal of the universe is to orient itself in all of the possible quantum arrangements within the laws of the physical universe. The next day, I may tell you that the quantum weirdness is so weird, that it fulfills every possible potential to completely fulfill itself, and further doing so via dreams and psychedelic experiences (non-physical worlds) - though those worlds aren't "physical" to our "touch," they are generated through our existence. The next day I might tell you.... that I was completely wrong about all of it. Then again, maybe considering being wrong is part of fulfilling the full potential...?

The reason? Because I don't know THE answer. I don't know that there is a single answer. I was not raised under the rule of a religion. My parents were poor hippies that had very little material stuffs. My dad taught me about native American mysticism and lore, rather than the Abrahamic babble. (Not a fan of the Abrahamic religions, or their platforms.) When I was a very young boy, my dad used to tell me "you never know when you're dealing with a wizard in a [insert creature's label here]'s costume."



Oh yeah. Nothingness - i've experienced pleasant nothingness as well. That is not the nothingness that I refer to. I mean to imply being "frozen" in timelessness. Meaning, you cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot do anything except be a prisoner to your own thoughts. In the dream when I experienced the most extreme and lucid form of this - it created a sense of: "I'm going to do anything that I can do to avoid being in that state." It warranted picking up the DMT pipe after much time away. In the past 4 days, I think that I have dabbled in DMT more than I did during the entire year of 2018... and in these past 4 days, I've only vaped a total of 4 times. None were bad. None led to nothingness. In fact, it offered something new... a new idea.

In relation to the year 2014.... I went into DMT land WAY overkill. Conservatively, between Jan 1st, of 2014 and July 1st, 2014 - we estimated the amount that I ventured into the unknown. I would have vape sessions between 2-4 times a week. Each session usually consisted between 6-10 "launches" and spanned anywhere from 2-8 hours per session... yeahhhh, I had a lot of time on my hands. So, conservatively, we assumed the session count was the minimum (2x a week) with a minimum of 6 breakthroughs per session.... ouch. Didn't realize how many times I'd ventured...

Eventually, I got the stereotypical "lock out" and then started having "bad trips" every time. So, I stopped and stepped back. A break was needed. After the break, I never really felt comfortable going back in. I felt shame. But, DMT is a forgiving creature if you approach with sincerity. So, I'm back in! But, i'll be sure to moderate myself much better this time.


Take Care!
ACY

Ohhh bonus! This was my one thousandth one hundredth and eleventh post. 1+1+1+1 = 4
3 "souls" + 1 body = 4 ; when you take 4 and stick a 2 after it (maybe a partnership?) then you get 4 2. According to some popular author's little book about hitchhiking through the galaxy, 42 is the answer to everything. Lol! (Yes, my post count no longer says 1111... I decided that savoring a moment isn't more valuable the experience of sharing and communicating with others.)

**extra bonus** - sneak preview of the model (please note, I am not computer savvy. I have to draw each piece by hand using a program. If anyone knows of an app or program that would allow me to craft simple shapes and easily change the colors, please share. It should save me a lot of time drawing all the individual orientations and color changes. ) I don't want to give away ALL the fun details yet, but for those who take the time to look into FranLover's "Bad Trip" report, might actually find that bad trips can turn good, in time.

Plus, I thought Fran's picture of "the father" was hilarious! That made me literally laugh out loud. My wife looked over like I am a crazy person. She's not wrong... or maybe she is..?

 

[theAlkēmist]

Haha Fran so funny you shows the father. Just the other day I was reading about Santa actually resembling an Amanita Muscaria and the esoteric side to Jesus and Christianity, it is something that has sparked my interest. Although personally I only have ever met female/feminine energies/entities.