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my first bad trip/ horrific experience

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sparkedminds

Rising Star
So I've been working my way up to breakthrough.i tend to load .07 into a joint and smoke maybe half with long slow draws. With concentration I tend to breakthrough but it's semi negotiable as to how deep I go.
Anyway Ive done this quite a few times and became rather comfortable with it.
Ive vaped it in my pipe but I find this easyer to take multiple tokes than a red hot pipe.

So anyway I thought I'd try it in my dirty shotty bottle ( used for weed like a bing with no bowl or hit hole u just pack it tight and rip it like your sucking a golf ball though a garden hose. It's done with a tobacco plug then weed. Personally I've been on and on addicted to this smoking method for years I know it's bad but k just can't escape it.
Onto the DMT , I loaded .15 FB in a baccy-weed-dmt-weed layers. Used jet flame on side of metal tube before applying heat to the top . Ripped it then all hell opened up.

I didn't really see any visuals or feel like I went else ware . It was more like I was stuck between worlds and it felt permanent. My first thought was I've smoked impurities and either was going to die or be committed. There's was a disconnected feeling from my body , unable to grasp whst was happening .
There's was the sensation of pressure through my face, neck and head and a feeling/sound of stuttering vibration like the spinning cogs of my mind had got stuck like a CD skipping or stuck record.

So after the initial panic and thought of my family , friends. Gf , trying to work out what went wrong came reflection and a kind of acceptance or at least what now attitude.
I can't stress enough how horrifying it was I was truly petrified . The only thing that stopped me going full bore panic attack was the 10min Buddhist prayer playing in the back ground . It enables me to rationalise that I should not think this permanent until the songs over as I know I'm usually coming down and visuals subside in a normal experience by this time.
It still didn't help with the idea that I was gonna die before that however

So I did eventually come down but it was way after the song had finished I think I just carried the negativity with me into the 'afterglow' and was left shaking on the floor teeth chattering . I called a friend and was fine another 5mins later.
On reflection I've binned my shotty and I think it was my addictive be behaviour towards it that caused the bad trip..

Sorry for typos im on my phone
 
I know people seem to much prefer smoking for some reason but the fast come on seems to be a lot to handle for many which it sounds like it was in your case.
 
It was that definitely but also perhaps not enough so I didn't end up in the desired place . No idea 3 big hits on my pipe is OK - the chemical burn but u guess that's in 2-3 big stages rather than one deep hit with empty lungs staved of oxygen . Until you've tried a shotty I don't think your understand what that's like. With weed alone it's enough to fuck most heavy dope smokers over who haven't gotten used to them . Takes iron lungs and produces a mad rush
 
So glad I've binned it. If any smoking methods gonna mess your lungs up the most it's like this. It's quite different to a water pipe. I would have used one but this was all I had to hand.
 
sparkedminds said:
...so I didn't end up in the desired place...
Click to expand...
As long as you keep this projecting a certain thing, tons of disappointments will follow. One must simply drop all expectations. You are entering a treatment, a session, any pre-orientation will make it very difficult, very very difficult. I even suggest dropping this whole idea of breaktrough completely. If it ever comes it will do it out of its own intellect, not yours, in time. Just surf the wave that present itself and if it is fear then surf that fear, then this is the lesson for the moment. Fear is not wrong, not the enemy, not to avoid, it can only wear itself out and it will do so given patience and a friendly smile, practice, it is an obstacle to get to know til it's just fear only, a bombastic pretension living on the gravity you endorse it with. It's a growing process. It will never go away but can loose all its former charade gradually. It's just an "effect" , it's just that. Like a spasm. Train yourself in relaxing that spasm. Then you can go further to whatever is on the path and whatever is presenting. Easier said than done but doable, a road that has ups and downs like with everything. Don't give up, don't blame this or that too easily. And take these lessons back in "real" life. It pays off BIG time :thumb_up:

I agree with finding a smoking method that suits you best, but from here I have a faint impression that you blame the smoking method one notch too much. Maybe I'm wrong.

Start low on dose and build up slowly, give yourself some credits on this one.
:love:
 
Hey there sparkedminds :)

Ouch. The panic is really awful, when it comes. One simple thing I've found which helps is to smile. Just make your face grin, and rub your eyebrows to release muscular tension.

It seems crazy, but often our body is telling us what to feel. By coaxing your facial musculature into a pattern associated with happiness, you are essentially 'programming' your mood.

Worth a try :D
 
I would recommend tightening up your smoking technique. By this I mean get a decent bong or pipe that functions well, lower your dosage, don't mix freebase with weed (use a non active smoking blend such as tea leaves, weed muddies up the trip), and learn to take your entire dose in 1 big hit. Once you get all these things down, all you have to do is take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the ride!
 
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