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My first dmt trip: i went to hell
- Thread starter dvc777
- Start date
This video contains content from The Australian Broadcasting Corporation, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds
This one didn’t land sorry, I just can’t see that low to the ground from up here sorry.
This one didn’t land sorry, I just can’t see that low to the ground from up here sorry.
I’ve looked up to you for most of my life and this is kinda heart breaking.
All good though, wish you well brother.
antichode
Esteemed member
I love it so much that nothing on this plane of existence lasts forever. And yet when the experience gets truly heavy we feel that nothing is literally lasting forever 
there is no signpost more firm and obvious than that one. Your identified with your self!
Perhaps Jesus is just the antithesis of that experience, the everlasting human, untouchable and permanent. Now that produces some satisfying dopamine does it not?
there is no signpost more firm and obvious than that one. Your identified with your self!Perhaps Jesus is just the antithesis of that experience, the everlasting human, untouchable and permanent. Now that produces some satisfying dopamine does it not?
Oh man... I feel like I am a toddler in the seat of an interstellar rocket ship every single time I do DMT.
As a friend, I'm telling you that your idea of 'sober' is far from matching that definition we have in our society for it.
It would be a really d*ick move from me, to not tell you this and instead encourage you to move on this path, a path that is showing extremely clear signs of a mental decline.
You need professional help my friend.
Kind regards,
The Traveler
Thank you for responding again Traveler, I really do appreciate your time and advice.
By heartbroken I mean, I’m heartbroken because I was under the impression you and your intellect was something it might not be.
At this stage I’m unsure you can even read because not one part of that report would suggest I’m even remotely sober at this stage of my life.
I’d pay close attention to my grammatical tense which would clearly indicate I’ve only been sober for a period of a few months since I was a child, and in this period I had a psychedelic experience that rivalled actual psychedelic experiences, then I came back home to my life in this place, all day, everyday, that’s what we do, that’s who we are, you’re not?
Everyone is fine talking about crazy shit they see on drugs and talking all this A grade articulate nonsense where every one thinks they have a phd in chemistry and creative writing but when someone has a gnarly experience sober it’s just mental illness.
You’re not the first person to claim that I need to seek professional help and you certainly won’t be the last, family, friends, colleagues, people I’ve just met on the internet, it used to upset me, but now I take pride in it.
The thing is, after seeing time and time again where Ive ended up in life compared to all these people who say this to me, I’m pretty confident in the direction I’m going.
Let me for a second entertain the idea I go seek professional help, again, what constitutes a professional? Are you honestly gonna tell me that most or even many “professionals” would be able to help someone like you or I? We have done things and been places people don’t even know exist. Usually I get the response, ummm Yeha I uhh ummm don’t really know ummm well here’s this script for seroquel please be on your way.
Like it’s just nonsense, all becaus the stuff I’m saying is what? Scaring you? Does it not make sense? Am I making any more or less sense that all the other jargon on this site? I’m really puzzled as to what you’re tryna get me to be and why?
I’ve not hurt anyone, Ive got a very successful career in IT, I’ve got very healthy relationships with my family (for a change) and you know what, my brother and his wife who have always told me and my family I needed professional help, they came crawling back and all was forgiven after all these years, because…. I held onto our Pokémon cards and my brother wanted them, fucken kids you see.
I’m a very high functioning member of society, I manage people, I’ve helped build a 500m a year revenue company from the ground up and I’m probably the most knowledgeable person when it comes to Microsoft licensing, in my country most certainly, in the world most likely, anyone with a brain will understand what it means to be a Microsoft licensing specialist.
I’m not really sure where we go from here, I’m still waiting for someone to actually have an intellectual exchange with me on my level instead of trying to drag me down to there’s or convince me to step down when they realise they aren’t strong enough to pull me down.
One Love
To me, the point was not about your experience while you were sober in itself, but about the fact that you're absolutely certain it constitutes the truth. Blindly trusting apparent experience as revealed truth is a bad idea, regardless of the nature of said experience.
Bragging about money and Microsoft licensing (lol) doesn't really help.
Pride, ego, and a lot of rage behind it all. Professional help could mean many things.
Why write here if you're so well-adapted and have made it in life? Get real, come down to Earth, and reflect on your life.
It's better to have nothing and remain human than whatever you're trying to sell here.
May you find Peace
And what is the truth if my interpretation is mistaken? That’s all I’m looking for, the truth, if I’ve not found it please enlighten me.
Also I’m not sure how explaining my position as a contributing member of society when I’ve just been insulted and told I need professional help is bragging?
My ex girlfriend used to always point out my inadequacies then berate me for standing up for myself and explaining my contributions to the relationship.
And if my response had a stern tone I don’t feel one little bit bad, once again I’ve not done anything wrong or hurt anyone and I’m being told by complete strangers I need professional mental help. It’s just crazy.
Correct, correct and correct. The trinity of my existence. I’ve given them up before to strangers out of kindness and it’s not a very smart thing to do.Pride, ego, and a lot of rage behind it all. Professional help could mean many things.
Why write here if you're so well-adapted and have made it in life? Get real, come down to Earth, and reflect on your life.
It's better to have nothing and remain human than whatever you're trying to sell here.
May you find Peace
Everyone here seems to think they know me very well after having seen me respond to being insulted for firstly sticking up for someone who just broke through for the first time. And then sticking up for myself after being insulted by a complete stranger after I shared a very intimate report of my life to this point.
I’ve got friends and family and loved ones who I have extremely healthy relationships with that are not filled with pride, ego and rage. I’m not those things, I wield them when I have to.
Honestly I’m not trying to be a dick and I really think this is all a big misunderstanding.
I’m not trying to sell anything? And I honestly think I am pretty down to earth.
What can I do to show you otherwise, I’m honestly at a loss here? What did I do wrong? This is the common theme of my life, I am sooo lost, it’s not something I’m trying to deny.
I’ve come here for help and community just like most places I go and already I’ve upset the apple cart, just like most places I go, and had to be a prick to defend myself after not really doing anything wrong by anyone in the first place?
If I thought I could do that, I would be having similar issues. The contention is not over whether "Jesus is real" or not, the contention is on whether immediately believing every experience in a literal way is healthy and balanced behavior.
You don't need to prove anything of the sort. And if you needed to, just asserting it doesn't constitute proof or evidence (and please don't take this as a challenge to give more evidence, I don't think anyone here cares as to whether you're a millionaire or a hobo).
LuxObscura
Titanium Teammate
If we put this thread aside, what would you wish to talk about?
Well for starters, I’m pretty sure Albert Hofmann wasn’t the first person the synthesise LSD and everything else I want to talk about that isn’t related to personal life or drug experiences should probably go in the tek section of this forum.
I’m by no means a professional and straight up admit I’ve only ever ended up with goo, but to be honest, I love the goo I got, it gave me what I needed and I’m constantly battling myself and others about why a Crystal is even necessary.
That first time I had my own goo and the knots in my back fence turned to eyes on a purple holographic background I was ecstatic to say the least.
My biggest hurdle is that I’ve always found it difficult to manage being openly and/or constructively interested and practicing without fear of legal consequence.
How is one supposed to comfortably speak and actualise their mind and true nature online or anywhere without genuine fear of legal consequence.
Since my first few experiences with LSD I knew, or felt, that my purpose in life was to make it, but at the same time understanding, what good is LSD that you have to break the law to make.
Also very curious about the whole thumbprint thing, you know the thumbprint thread on the shroomery, that’s been rolling around in my head for a very very long time.
This all started fairly early, the LSD and DMT just under 20 years ago, im 35 now, the first time I smoked a cone I must have been about 8 or 9, then things just ramped up from there, im able to remember a lot of it with surprising clarity.
Most of my life has been spent researching and experimenting with organic compounds and the affects and impacts it has had on society and culture in a singular and wholistic sense dating back to primates.
All the while managing to make it through school and be a high functioning member of society, which please do not mistake for bragging on my own behalf, but a statement to what someone can achieve despite an excessive obsession with psychedelics in a world where they are demonised.
Have just recently enquired with local university’s about chemistry bridging courses and organic chemistry courses which start the beginning of 2026 but I’m still unsure.
It feels like LSD will become a pharmaceutical at some point, maybe in our lives maybe not, but if it happens when I’m alive like I think it will, I’d love to have legitimate credentials to openly practice in the field.
The craft that is DMT extraction is a whole other world that I would love to talk about but once again, I’m not sure alternate pronouns like swim is enough to keep my mind at ease.
For 15+ years I’ve ran thousands of extractions in my mind, but not really ever in actual fact.
I research it, I picture it, I visualise it, I fantasise about it, I dream about it.
That aspect of attaining confidence to put pen to paper has somewhat escaped me far too often which is why I think I approached this from a literary and experiential angle.
I considered messaging Traveler and straight up asking “hey how does everyone get away with talking about this stuff?” but I thought I would cause less of a stir by quietly interjecting into an old resurrected thread, oh how wrong I was.
LuxObscura
Titanium Teammate
I do not know.
What do you mean with goo? DMT goo? From extraction?
Crystal is not necessary but it looks very cool
In which way do you have fear?
And why do you have it?
I am not really into LSD so I do not really have an opinion about it.
Just a quick heads-up so things don’t escalate.
I believe synthesis-related discussions aren't allowed here.
Nothing’s wrong yet I believe.
Yes that is definitely a very interesting topic.
Also some youtube videos exist.
But it is also very risky and no safe use.
I would understand that no critical communication about this topic is allowed here.
I don't see it as bragging at all.
I think you have every right to be proud of what you’ve achieved.
It must’ve been very tough, especially since those of us who know psychedelics often think in ways that don’t quite fit into conventional systems.
Cool good luck and keep up!
Ye I do not know as having very differential thoughts about this.
Why did you visualise it but not extracted?
Do you mean why it is allowed to talk about DMT and extractions in general?
That is an interesting question actually.
Maybe you can find some answers here Attitude Page - DMT-Nexus Wiki, in the wiki or in the forum with the search option.
Or create a question in the forum?
Not sure if I understood you question right tho.
Hopefully this helps and was/is what you have been looking for.
You are welcome.
Now lets clear up some confusion about language:
What you are describing here does read as you beging sober for a short period of time, as in not using any drugs, but not sober in de sense of your mental state.
And that last part, your mental state, is what my remark was about, due to the rest of your postings.
One thing I've learned in life is how to recognize when someone is heading toward a serious mental breakdown. Based on what you've been posting, you show many of the signs that point in that direction. That's why it's so important that you take the step to help yourself since no one else can do that for you. Dismissing the concern of people who genuinely care about you and who are probably begging you to seek professional help is not the answer. It is you that has to make that change to finally go help yourself.
Sure, maybe you cannot easily find the special help you need or like, or maybe you relapse too fast, or maybe you go full psychotic first. But did you ever consider that your idea of professional help might be different than you think? That there maybe is help for you out there after all? And with that idea in mind you should get the motivation to start finding that help you so much need.
So please stop handing our cards of stuff you do well to compensate for your other half, and give yourself that treatment-card you so really, really hard need.
Kind regards,
The Traveler
Yes correctWhat do you mean with goo? DMT goo? From extraction?
Crystal is not necessary but it looks very cool
Fear of being open about breaking the law on a website where I’m easily traceable because I like my freedoms.
Fear of not being constructive because I’ve read articles about easily available tek knowledge causing really old mother tree’s to be desecrated by the uninitiated.
It also felt like the mates who introduced me to this stuff were a bit sinister, one guy literally said to me once “when you figure out how to make it I’ll chop your hands off and lock you away so you can just make us dmt with your knubs”
I’ve purposely sabotaged my efforts in learning because then my existence becomes a liability and it honestly felt like a borderline environmental hazard as well at times.
It also might be worth mentioning I collect and distribute blotter art very openly online and have done so for 15+ years, at my place I have thousands of sheets of blotter, some really special, when I dove into that scene I had to sacrifice a lot of things in my life just in case I got checked out.
I’m not sure, I just don’t think I was really ready, like I’m almost certain I could do it quite successfully but it just felt like I wasn’t supposed to, have ended up with red soup spraying allll over my kitchen once, it looked and felt like a murder scene and was enough to freak me out.
Yes this precisely, like I’ve used my real email address to make my account cause I don’t feel as though I need to hide anything and even if it was a fake email that’s not going to make much difference.
Yes that is accurate that I’ve not been differentiating between a sober mental state and a sober level of substance intake, thanks for helping me to understand this.
Just when I started to come good mentally in that period of no substance intake I started having these hellish nightmares, I was afraid to fall asleep, people real close to me started dying unexpectedly and the only solutions on hand were powerful psychs which I’m not interested in, tried agomelatine but I think that’s what caused the nightmares, so I retreated to the only place I know and luckily I was able to find comfort in it once again.
Yes absolutely, I’ve tried everywhere and everything, I’m not against being humbled and admitting when I’m wrong in order to help myself and those around me.
Without trying to replug my initial controversial statement, the only thing I ever found that worked for me was believing in Christ, I was annoyed at first when I experienced it, gate keeper behaviour I do not like.
Eventually, and still to this day I even put Christ at arms length cause, like you, I am a man of logic and reason and also started to pick up on sinister behaviour in the church.
So do I bend the knee to have peace? Or stand at attention in fear.
I’m not running or hiding from a normal life, it’s just not a card that’s been handed out to me as of yet.