Greetings folks, I hope you are all well and your journeys are both enriching and rewarding. This is a trip report from my second solo ceremony with 5-MeO-DMT and took place in late 2018, during the Holiday season.
Despite my decision to take the next progressive step to 10 mg of the sacrament, I thoughtfully decided that since I was attempting to map out the essential aspects of the 5-MeO-DMT experience, quantifying the entanglement between the subjective witness and the object of one's rapt attention... that 10mg was way more than the desired amount of said sacrement. I am highly receptive to entheogens, so for myself, as a rule of thumb... less is more I chose the modest dose of 7mg, instead, just 1mg less than my inaugural voyage. Ultimately, regardless of dosage, exists the impossibly difficult task of translating the mind-shattering fusion is quite beyond any mortal description in words.
Why so? Well, there appears to be a tremendous dichotomy betwixt the individual and the totality, the personal and the supra-conscious. Ergo, it's a leap beyond the grasp of the human ego, as the relative self facing the faceless face of the Absolute is quite literally stopped dead in it's tracks. Thus, I have struggled like never before to translate what my first interphase with this most magnificent molecule yielded within my direct experience. I continue to vainly grasp at much of the immense force which destroyed my fragile self-perception, my entire world in a tea cup, which then spilled out into the endless expanse of ultimate being... losing all sense of separation from the Divine.
The second immersion was ignited by just 7mg of the sacrament. This was nearly as intense as the previous interphase but having had the initiation from 5-MeO, so this time I was prepared to surrender, abandon my fears and to wholly dissolve within the overwhelming bloom of energy, which had effectively ripped away everything I had been conditioned to believe is "reality". Obviously, so much of said perceptual encounters arrive to find themselves in new waters, deep waters which there are neither any shorelines nor ocean floors. In essence, the inside and the outside lose distinction.
I sat comfortably upon my pile of cushions, steady and ready. Seconds later, I was shattered like so much delicate porcelain under a force which superseded anything I've ever encountered. The dust which remained wasn't tragically lost in cold oblivion, rather, it was scattered stardust all aglow with a bliss too profound to convey in narrative. I was not myself anymore, I had the remembrance that I was actually the beginningless beggining, sparked into rebirth as everyone and everything. I lost the ability to maintain my subjectivity and as such, thoughts ceased to arise.
My awareness of my human body had changed from matter to mind, from mind to higher mind, eventually settling within the timelessness of an eternal frequency and blindingly bright field of light pulsations. This effulgence was my truest nature, the genuine nature of this entire Omniversal manifestation. The part was and is the whole. Obliterated within the blinding light, like a month in a flame, all perceptual parameters simmered to a most transparent luminescence, one so clear it was quite invisible and without any iota of any form or substance.
My epiphany whoever I really am, then found that the "I" was quintessentially nothing at all... an illusion, a fleeting dreamscape experienced by the tiniest speck of a cognitive being. Perhaps an illusion within an illusion? I was unborn and without any modicum of containment nor limitation. And ironically, I was also the source and the cause everything. The womb that had gestated my very soul essence, created an embryonic ripple, it could be understood impartiality as my isolated ergo-self paused for what seemed an eternity in the making (yet, it was probably about 15-20 minutes?).
Oddly enough and despite the total whiteout experience, I (who am I?) remained conscious of this miraculous shift in attention and somehow, most peaceful and well balanced. My heartbeat was far more settled and less pressed than the first rocketing voyage, regardless of it's dramatic pounding rhythm. Nothing can be realistically said that could possibly come even close to connecting the seamless nondual realm to it's shadow twin, living life within the often paradoxical realm of the dual. The Infinite transcends the finite, the eternal remains present throughout the dissolution of the transitory. The undifferentiated field of the indivisible is the singular yoke hiding within the fragmented parts, awaiting our awakening union, as we traverse the dreamworld of the isolated.
In such effulgence, there are no appearances of oneself in juxtaposition to others. After all, there is only one of us. We each return to the infinite void beyond and within all surface thoughts and ideas, had by mortal beings entranced by duality at play. I was devoured by the mystery which elludes all quantification and so it out to rediscover who I might be. Even so, the teaching was clear and bright, healing and wholly shattering. In the after birth of this phenomenon, lay the ashes of the Divine interphase, I am sooooooo thankful and very deeply humbled.
Despite my decision to take the next progressive step to 10 mg of the sacrament, I thoughtfully decided that since I was attempting to map out the essential aspects of the 5-MeO-DMT experience, quantifying the entanglement between the subjective witness and the object of one's rapt attention... that 10mg was way more than the desired amount of said sacrement. I am highly receptive to entheogens, so for myself, as a rule of thumb... less is more I chose the modest dose of 7mg, instead, just 1mg less than my inaugural voyage. Ultimately, regardless of dosage, exists the impossibly difficult task of translating the mind-shattering fusion is quite beyond any mortal description in words.
Why so? Well, there appears to be a tremendous dichotomy betwixt the individual and the totality, the personal and the supra-conscious. Ergo, it's a leap beyond the grasp of the human ego, as the relative self facing the faceless face of the Absolute is quite literally stopped dead in it's tracks. Thus, I have struggled like never before to translate what my first interphase with this most magnificent molecule yielded within my direct experience. I continue to vainly grasp at much of the immense force which destroyed my fragile self-perception, my entire world in a tea cup, which then spilled out into the endless expanse of ultimate being... losing all sense of separation from the Divine.
The second immersion was ignited by just 7mg of the sacrament. This was nearly as intense as the previous interphase but having had the initiation from 5-MeO, so this time I was prepared to surrender, abandon my fears and to wholly dissolve within the overwhelming bloom of energy, which had effectively ripped away everything I had been conditioned to believe is "reality". Obviously, so much of said perceptual encounters arrive to find themselves in new waters, deep waters which there are neither any shorelines nor ocean floors. In essence, the inside and the outside lose distinction.
I sat comfortably upon my pile of cushions, steady and ready. Seconds later, I was shattered like so much delicate porcelain under a force which superseded anything I've ever encountered. The dust which remained wasn't tragically lost in cold oblivion, rather, it was scattered stardust all aglow with a bliss too profound to convey in narrative. I was not myself anymore, I had the remembrance that I was actually the beginningless beggining, sparked into rebirth as everyone and everything. I lost the ability to maintain my subjectivity and as such, thoughts ceased to arise.
My awareness of my human body had changed from matter to mind, from mind to higher mind, eventually settling within the timelessness of an eternal frequency and blindingly bright field of light pulsations. This effulgence was my truest nature, the genuine nature of this entire Omniversal manifestation. The part was and is the whole. Obliterated within the blinding light, like a month in a flame, all perceptual parameters simmered to a most transparent luminescence, one so clear it was quite invisible and without any iota of any form or substance.
My epiphany whoever I really am, then found that the "I" was quintessentially nothing at all... an illusion, a fleeting dreamscape experienced by the tiniest speck of a cognitive being. Perhaps an illusion within an illusion? I was unborn and without any modicum of containment nor limitation. And ironically, I was also the source and the cause everything. The womb that had gestated my very soul essence, created an embryonic ripple, it could be understood impartiality as my isolated ergo-self paused for what seemed an eternity in the making (yet, it was probably about 15-20 minutes?).
Oddly enough and despite the total whiteout experience, I (who am I?) remained conscious of this miraculous shift in attention and somehow, most peaceful and well balanced. My heartbeat was far more settled and less pressed than the first rocketing voyage, regardless of it's dramatic pounding rhythm. Nothing can be realistically said that could possibly come even close to connecting the seamless nondual realm to it's shadow twin, living life within the often paradoxical realm of the dual. The Infinite transcends the finite, the eternal remains present throughout the dissolution of the transitory. The undifferentiated field of the indivisible is the singular yoke hiding within the fragmented parts, awaiting our awakening union, as we traverse the dreamworld of the isolated.
In such effulgence, there are no appearances of oneself in juxtaposition to others. After all, there is only one of us. We each return to the infinite void beyond and within all surface thoughts and ideas, had by mortal beings entranced by duality at play. I was devoured by the mystery which elludes all quantification and so it out to rediscover who I might be. Even so, the teaching was clear and bright, healing and wholly shattering. In the after birth of this phenomenon, lay the ashes of the Divine interphase, I am sooooooo thankful and very deeply humbled.
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