New fear of entheogens and anxiety

[I am.]

120g of shrooms? wow. that's fucking ridiulous! i know i can eat 3-4 grams and feel it. either you have SHITTY shrooms or you are superhuman man!

Some people have high tolerance to shrooms, with 3g I barely have treshold effects and my usual dose is 10g (I'm not proud of it btw, I would be glad not to have such a high tolerance).

yeah but come on...seriouisly? 120g??? man...that's a dang qourter pound of mushrooms! that's like $300-$500 worth of shrooms? i would never eat mushrooms if it was that expensive for me to get off! i've NEVER heard of that. everyone i know gets crazy sick if they eat more than a quarter. we must get ahold of different quality shrooms. every single person i've ever knmown to eat shrooms takes about an 8th or so, maybe even less. i'm used to seeing 2 people split a qtr and have a night!

i mean...the volume of mushrooms it would take to equal eating a qtr lb...how can that fit in your stomache? and it must take hours to eat that many? that's a qtr pound of mushrooms!

 

[justine]

120g of shrooms? wow. that's fucking ridiulous! i know i can eat 3-4 grams and feel it. either you have SHITTY shrooms or you are superhuman man!

Some people have high tolerance to shrooms, with 3g I barely have treshold effects and my usual dose is 10g (I'm not proud of it btw, I would be glad not to have such a high tolerance).

yeah but come on...seriouisly? 120g??? man...that's a dang qourter pound of mushrooms! that's like $300-$500 worth of shrooms? i would never eat mushrooms if it was that expensive for me to get off! i've NEVER heard of that. everyone i know gets crazy sick if they eat more than a quarter. we must get ahold of different quality shrooms. every single person i've ever knmown to eat shrooms takes about an 8th or so, maybe even less. i'm used to seeing 2 people split a qtr and have a night!

i mean...the volume of mushrooms it would take to equal eating a qtr lb...how can that fit in your stomache? and it must take hours to eat that many? that's a qtr pound of mushrooms!

He said it was 120g fresh mushrooms, which is equivalent to 12g dried mushrooms. And by the way, I doubt many nexians BUY their mushrooms, it's so easy to grow...

 

[I am.]

wait. chronic said they were fresh. so...dried...that would've been substantially smaller. ok. that makes more sense. sorry. i just didn't see how a qtr lb of dried mushrooms would fit into someone's stomache. i'd imagine that fresh shrooms ewigh much much more. i don't know muc about shrooms. never strayed too far from lucy's loving/hateful embrace until i found the spice. ok. sorry for my misunderstanding.

 

[Swarupa]

I have tripped for 99% of my trips in light

You know I only seem to have bad trips in the dark? Kinda weird like that. Once I noticed that I would try with all my effort to "drop" whatever by noon so I could have sufficient time in the light. For me for some reason light is like a life force while tripping. Specifically sunlight, but any light really. Even with DMT I seem to enjoy more light than most people claim to like to illuminate the patterns behind closed eyelids with DMT, but I think that's something of a different issue

I now usually sit with the lights on, wait til i feel them kicking in properly as the come up is always at least a bit rough, then i switch all the lights off & lay in bed when it feels right

With the 120g fresh shrooms i made tea, id never eat that many shrooms!
My body also rejected it & i threw up, but later made even more tea to make up for it
It was the greatest trip i've ever had, it was total universal bliss, but then BAM! i sudenely couldnt feel or think anything, i didn;t have much experience with the void at this stage so freaked out, i wanted to call an ambulance as i felt like i was dying, the next day was new years day... felt incredible.

 

[I am.]

that kinda sounds pretty fabolous chronic! first time i flipped my shit was on acid. i heard this deep, dark, twisted voice say "this is gonna get bad" and then bam...i was sucked down a dark tunnel and have no idea what happened for the next two hours. i know afterwards, i felt like my soul just had a giant orgasm! such a huge release it seemed. came to and was in the fetal position, drenched in sweat. but my life changed that night. i wanted to freak out and call 911 but was too fuckered up to get up and walk to phone. good thing, i guess!

 

[Global]

First time I took shrooms (my first psychedelic experience) was with a bunch of friends. Most of them took an eighth, but my roommate and I split an eighth. We decided to go outside and "explore" around campus. My roommate puked really early on before really being able to digest anything so he just excused himself from the group and went back to his room. We wound up down on the Lacrosse field. This was the night Obama got elected. We had completely forgotten that was going on and got a phone call from my roommate saying how Obama won. We were tripping so hard we had no idea how to even process that kind of groundbreaking information. Anyway, everything was going fine...everything was fantastic really. I felt like I was five years old again, but better. We were in this field for 2 hours (I'm pretty sure ) and it was great, but I was getting a little bored just staying in one area for so long.

I suggested to the others that we keep moving and get a little change of scenery. I was vastly outnumbered in the vote, so I agreed to be patient and waited in the field some more. Some time went by and I suggested again that we move (didn't wanna go inside, just wanted to get off this damn lacrosse field). The answer was still no. This was becoming frustrating. I began to feel not so good. I felt heavy as shit, my stomach was giving me the weirdest vibes in the world and I was frustrated. My world that was just filled with light (even though it was night) began to grow dark. It got to the point where I just had to say, "fuck this" and I walked back to my room.

When I got back first thing I felt like I had to do was relieve these terribly awkward stomach sensations that I didn't know how to deal with so I tried taking a shit. Couldn't do it. I frustratingly got up and tried to puke. I was unsuccessful at this too. I was now starting to get pretty frustrated. I was still tripping really hard. I know I only took half an eighth, but if you were to exclude any DMT and salvia experiences I've had since then, that would probably have been one of the hardest trips I've had (and I've since taken a full eighth which doesn't even touch this experience). I crawled into bed and figured I would just sleep it off :roll: Much to no one's surprise I couldn't sleep for shit. I think this was actually the first time I tried to close my eyes during the experience and as I tried to fall asleep, I noticed that the distortions I was seeing with my eyes open were somehow manifesting themselves with my eyes closed. This provided waaay too much of a distraction to even entertain the idea of sleep. This was now really fucking frustrating. I found myself in a state of profound anxiety and dislocation from reality. I couldn't remember what it felt like to be normal or what normal reality was like. I just kept on mumbling "I just wanna come back to reality man, just lemme come back to reality..." This was creating more anxiety and negativity. I just wanted the whole thing to end, and I couldn't stop thinking "if only we had just changed locations from the field to elsewhere, none of this would have happened in the first place". I couldn't relieve my terrible stomach sensations, I couldn't sleep it off, and I was in full-freakout mode by this point. God if I could have taken something at the time to make it go away (or at least the negative aspects) I would have sold my soul for sure.

In the midst of all this, my friends slowly had made their way back to the room from the field. I was in the other room, but they started to play Stairway to Heaven and while I normally would think that it's so overplayed and would be the last thing I would wanna listen to, I found it to never be more appropriate music in my life. Especially in that intro, that celtic vibe just struck me in a way I'll never forget (just a side-note, had to throw that little bit in there, doesn't really have anything to do with the bad trip). One of my friends suggested I take a shower and that he found showers to sort of kill the trip. I had no better ideas so a shower it was. When I got out I felt completely refreshed. This was most likely placebo in retrospect, but it was just what I needed (when I tried this shower-technique with my next shrooms experience, which also started off great and ended with me wanting to kill myself, it failed miserably...I was just tripping in the shower :lol: ). It was so great...it was finally over, and to be back in consensual normal reality was the biggest blessing I could ask for. I fell asleep with ease and woke up the next morning in a glow, feeling like a hundred bucks.

As I said, the next time I tried shrooms (again, only half an eighth), it did not end well. Especially when I began to feel that dislocation from reality. I just didn't know how to deal with it and the anxiety felt terrible. It wasn't till after that experience that I found out that xanax could "abort bad trips" and after that I've had a safety net ever since, but have rarely had to use it. Sorry for the long post, had to throw it out there though

 

[DMTripper]

To the OP

You say your diet is crap. Well bad diet alone can cause anxiety.
Do some exercises and sweat and stop smoking cannabis for a month or two.

If I smoke cannabis I need to be high to be able to eat something. And when I stop smoking I can't eat for days. But then gradually it gets better.

You say it's hard to quit a cannabis habit after 2 years of smoking daily. Well it's not going to get easier if you keep on smoking.

If I smoke daily I get your symptoms you describe in few weeks. That's why I try not to smoke cannabis. I just feel soooooo much better not smoking.
I know some people can smoke a lot, but I have to accept that I can not.

 

[SKA]

The Ego has good reason to be affraid of Psychedelics. Psychedelics can be seen as Ego-cide. Do not buy into this fear, for it is not YOUR fear.
YOU want nothing more than to be liberated from the Ego's Suffering, Delusion and Limitations and find inner peace, am I not right?

To detatch from the fear, Observe it with your awareness. Do not judge it, do not take it personal. DO not resist or denie it.
Allow it to be and just Observe it. Then Realise that you are not this Fear, but instead the Observing Awareness being Witness of this Fear.


When you Realise this an inner peace overflows you and evaporates the Fear as the Illusion that it is.
It means you have become conscious of your (formally) unconscious identification with the Ego and it's problems ( Fears, Grievances, Resentments, Remorse..etc)
Disidentification from the Ego is the key to Spiritual Liberation.

After this Realisation, and the subsequent dissolving of the Fear, you may soon enough feel intuitively that you're ready for another Entheogenic journey again.

 

[alladinsgrandpa]

SKA, you have no idea the value of your post to me. this is my new mantra! thank you so much for the reminder on the subject. i used to know this i think and i feel i forgot it and now am going to relearn it. thank you so much!

also, i feel i have a large amount of natural anxiety, does anyone have any ultra effective natural ways to relieve anxiety over time or even just for a short time? these three pages are evidence of just how awesome and caring the nexus is. THANK YOU!

sincerely,
alladins

 

[DMTripper]

.....also, i feel i have a large amount of natural anxiety, does anyone have any ultra effective natural ways to relieve anxiety

Go exercise and sweat like a pig and eat healthy. Probably not what you want to hear but it's by faaaaaar the most effective way to get rid of your anxiety.
If you think there's an easy way out you're wrong. You have to put some effort init. There's no magic solution except for what I just said.

 

[Lavos]

Honestly I could have written the same post. Different histories but still at the same place. Or near enough. Unusually high anxiety has plagued me since I was a child. It's become worse in adult years as I try to hold on and control more things.

More to the point, I had over the summer, gotten myself all wound up over psychedelics, dismayed at my lack of experience and connections to score. I finally decided to do some salvia, and do it with all the heart I had. It really blew my mind. Left a different kind of scar.

Soon, I was convinced I could obtain my own DMT, and was so enthralled by the idea, I must have been giddy everywhere for a week. When I got the stuff though, I was so completely anxious, and just plain afraid of the unknown. I took to it slowly over the next few days. I was apprehensive so that I wouldn't take more than a hit and a half. No breaking through for me. I was really frustrated to be so afraid of something. I was so used to being bold and headstrong in a lot that I did, despite social setbacks.

I got the idea that I was just over thinking it more than anything else. I put it on the back burner, stopped carrying it with me every time I went somewhere cool. Tried to forget about it. It's helped. Reminded me that I need to worry about more than just one thing. The things like DMTripper mentioned, getting fit. It's not enough to have a well built and agile mind, but it wants a powerful body too.

Of course the taunting feeling of fear pulled at me and I just couldn't stop myself from smoking the other day. I was still nervous, but much less so. And from that experience I know I'm more ready, but not yet in myself fully ready. I accept that. I smoked salvia for the first time tonight since my terrifying breakthrough. Fear is a challenge to move through, but don't sweat it, take advantage of your strengths and maybe your fear will weaken.

Trust me brother, psychedelics scare a lot of people, if you know you want it, hold that idea in you, and work towards the courage of that conviction.

Reminds me, I might benefit a lot from smoking herb way less. Good luck

 

[Virola78]

..i think i just need a break from weed and a lifestyle change. both of which are nearing, almost out of weed :lol: , and im about to move away from where i live and i cant wait. spring and summer are on there way cant wait..

you got it

listen to DMTripper and dont worry if it takes some time
keep getting up. get used to it.

funny thread

 

[alladinsgrandpa]

so an update for everyone, i feel slightly better am still working on the cannabis thing bt have cut down SIGNIFICANTLY still everyday but i havent had my own weed during the weekdays for about two to three weeks. its hard to go to sleep without being under the influence because of used to smoking a bowl before i lay down so thats kind of my week point right now.

i took vitamin d and another vitamin and feel better but suspect placebo. ill see how taking these everyday makes a difference or not. i have been riding my bike on the nice days but unfortunately thos are few and far between. i am also definetly eating better. i feel i am making progress but am very edgy and feel as if i slip back into my little comfort hole ego(which is clarely not a good place to beright now) and freak for no reason.

just figured id give an update.
sincerely,
aladins

ps.
just got internet working again on computer. ive been lurking the forums on my cell phone:lol:

 

[DMTripper]

Keep up the good work mate
And if you have the chance to take long very hot showers then abuse that. I really calms the nerves. Hot water is very powerful healing stuff

 

[Shayku]

Hot yoga is where it's at! It'll kick your ass the first 5 times, but once you get into it, it's becomes a happy addiction to have.

 

[shizam]

so an update for everyone, i feel slightly better am still working on the cannabis thing bt have cut down SIGNIFICANTLY still everyday but i havent had my own weed during the weekdays for about two to three weeks. its hard to go to sleep without being under the influence because of used to smoking a bowl before i lay down so thats kind of my week point right now.

i took vitamin d and another vitamin and feel better but suspect placebo. ill see how taking these everyday makes a difference or not. i have been riding my bike on the nice days but unfortunately thos are few and far between. i am also definetly eating better. i feel i am making progress but am very edgy and feel as if i slip back into my little comfort hole ego(which is clarely not a good place to beright now) and freak for no reason.

just figured id give an update.
sincerely,
aladins

ps.
just got internet working again on computer. ive been lurking the forums on my cell phone:lol:

This is my very first post here.

I have been reading what you say. Anxiety is fear of what may happen in the future.
I am glad to hear you are cutting down your cannabis and eating well and getting excercise because all of this is very important. I personally am very interested in the anceint history of entheogenic use, and I know that ancient trippers would see these entheogenic plants as gods they eat, and thus would prepare for a long time to get very fit

From my past experience, one of the fears of tripping can be bodily worries- heart rate, brathing, strange pains that is coupled with terrifying visions can all be hellish. So it is very important ANYWAY to be healthy and fit, and if anything thing should be learnt and integrated from entheogens it is this!

The more you feel fit the less fear you will feel.

When you prepare your trip really focus on set and setting,and intent, and have a ritual where you present what your going to ingest to the Four Corners, and tell the shrooms (etc) what you want from the trip, and if you are fearful. All this is really important

I wish you well

 

[alladinsgrandpa]

thanks for all the help everyone. your kind words mixed with my daily life changes is really helping and i feel like things are really looking up for me. i was stagnant in many ways.

socially-very limited friend group and on top of that i was sitting on my ass all the time at home getting high and being too lazy to get anything done or to even get off the couch. im trying to get out more and hang out with friends and just be more socially active and less to myself.

physically-since i have been sitting around i acquired hip brucitis which is quite annoying and painful. but since i started exercising almost daily i have felt much more healthy and slightly less hip pain. plus i eat better now and take vitamins b and d? not sure on the second one i cant remember.

spiritually-entheogens are how i get my spirituality as im sure lots of people do here. i have been too anxious to do entheogens lately and have been very distressed that i dont have the will power currently to "go to church" i guess you could say. but im not always thinking about it anymore and the less i think about it the better i feel. i feel that i will be ready to take the journey very soon. i hope to work with lsd again as i did about 2 years ago. MAKING PROGRESS!

financially-my job informed me they couldnt pay me for a few months so i couldnt work until now. this was what i did everyday, work. when that changed it made my anxiety even worse. but now im about to head back to work very soon. so finally i dont have to worry about where my money is going to come from.

i could go on for ever but figured someone in the same situation as i was a couple weeks ago at the peak of anxiety. it does get better i though i would never make progress but i have and i think it shows.

much love,
alladins

 

[Lavos]

It's good to hear you are working through these things well. Sounds very similar to my situation.

so an update for everyone, i feel slightly better am still working on the cannabis thing bt have cut down SIGNIFICANTLY still everyday but i havent had my own weed during the weekdays for about two to three weeks. its hard to go to sleep without being under the influence because of used to smoking a bowl before i lay down so thats kind of my week point right now.

i took vitamin d and another vitamin and feel better but suspect placebo. ill see how taking these everyday makes a difference or not. i have been riding my bike on the nice days but unfortunately thos are few and far between. i am also definetly eating better. i feel i am making progress but am very edgy and feel as if i slip back into my little comfort hole ego(which is clarely not a good place to beright now) and freak for no reason.

just figured id give an update.
sincerely,
aladins

ps.
just got internet working again on computer. ive been lurking the forums on my cell phoneLaughing

I've been trying to cut my weed out all the way too. Really hard right now because I'm not working, a lot of time on hands too close to too many people. Trying to get some money together so can start some other hobbies. I'm fine if I don't have it now, but a lot of smokers around me, and I tempt right into it still.

More importantly I've taken up some of the dieta I've seen around here. I've been doing Chi Kung, and focusing on more fresh fruits, more fresh everything, only long list of ingredients is my breads. I've also been getting on my bike and taking 1 and 2 hour rides. Some days for exercise some just to get out. For so long I actually thought it was cool to sit around and do nothing, so lazy. It feels really great to be ready to go for a ride any time I'm doing nothing.

Still not working, but I'm trying and a lot more open again. Me and wife are also starting our own separate business, at least that's what I'm telling myself I need to do. Real confused guy here. Amnyway, just wanted to let you know, I'm with you, battling ridiculous anxiety and getting back into the swing of real life energy.

 

[SKA]

SKA, you have no idea the value of your post to me. this is my new mantra! thank you so much for the reminder on the subject. i used to know this i think and i feel i forgot it and now am going to relearn it. thank you so much!

also, i feel i have a large amount of natural anxiety, does anyone have any ultra effective natural ways to relieve anxiety over time or even just for a short time? these three pages are evidence of just how awesome and caring the nexus is. THANK YOU!

sincerely,
alladins

Your welcome,
I too have the bad tendency to forget this essential wisdom from time to time. I got to admit that my Ego is at least a very strategic, cunning and persistant Entity. Whenever I have fallen into one of it's traps again and completely forgot essential life knowledge I would very much appreciate it too if you reminded me of it again. I think it's what we, people of earth, are supposed to do. Create a momentum of Enlightenment, so that whenever someone falls into an Egoic Delusion, there will be plenty people around that are enlightened enough to snap this person out of it and back into the here and now. This way Unconsciousness and Ego never get much chance to grow.

 

[alladinsgrandpa]

feeling much better. i was taking things to seriously before