Greetings Friends,
A major concern of mine since extracting my own deems is how much is too much and how often is too often. I have wanted to engage with the spice more, but think, "am I abusing it?" "Am I disrespecting it?" "Am I deserving?" "Will I be able to handle it?" I am a worry wort, but these questions have influenced my trepidation about doing more.
Over the past year I have been doing it more and here's what I've learned.
1. Be honest with yourself: Analyze what your intentions are and scrutinize them. Am I deceiving myself? Is my use irresponsible? Also assess any concerns. Why do I feel undeserving? What makes me think that I can't handle it?
For me personally, I worry too much. Way too much. My use of the spice always comes with the utmost respect and reverence, thus there is only admiration and love for the spice and all it has to offer. My concerns are extensions of concerns I have in my life, not really about DMT. For example I tend to feel undeserving of the experience if I feel I have not been ontop of my priorities and responsibilities. That said, I try to do a lot and may be too hard on myself, so certain items not being completed is not necessarily cause for feeling undeserving or an indication of being undeserving.
There's always polyvalency in my intentions. It's a tool for my mental health, helping me to ground myself when experiencing "intensity." It's a tool for experiencing transcendental and enlightening states. It's a spiritual experience always, even if mainly analytical. It's a tool for introspection, allowing me a certain degree of detachment from my emotions and thoughts to observe, assess, and augment them. It's a vehicle for exploring the vast potentialities of the natures of reality and existence.
I never do it just to do it. Nor for fun (granted, I'm not the best at having fun and am working on that too).
It damn sure is never an escape.
2. Stop use depending on degree of necessary integration: some mild experiences need a great deal of integration and introspection. Some heavier doses may be intense, but come with little to be integrated. It's up to me to pay enough attention to know what is sufficient. Having too much to integrate at once wastes experience and thus, wastes spice. It can also cause cognitive dissonance and emotional confusion due to not having completely processed a past experience.
3. Assess external effects: has a particular frequency of use been a detriment or benefit?
In my life as of late, I've been aware of my DMT experiences pouring over into my pragmatic life in a powerful, productive, and meaningful way. I have been getting more done. I have become more responsible. I manage my anxiety, depression, and emotional state better. I am more disciplined (not to say that I wasn't responsible or disciplined before). I am more gentle and forgiving of myself and others. It's important to take note of when/if that ever changes, because if it does, then my use needs to change.
4. Rigorously examine if there is an unsafe or unhealthy dependency: this is extremely important to me since I see dependency on things not vital for survival as a sort of attachment. While I have corrected myself about detachment, I want to remain unattached. I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I would like DMT to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, but that must be tempered with balance, moderation (which can be variable), and without becoming dependent. It should always FEEL like a choice, NEVER a NEED.
5. Is one ready to do the work: For me, even a light dose is not easy, despite desire. I have to know that I'm ready to commit to the experience ahead and what it may entail during and afterwards. It's a type of commitment. One must be dedicated to themselves and the spice.
I am sharing this for two reasons: to solidify these ideas in my mind (because reconditioning takes time and repetition) and to assist anyone who may find this post helpful in analyzing their own use of DMT.
I thank you for reading.
One love
A major concern of mine since extracting my own deems is how much is too much and how often is too often. I have wanted to engage with the spice more, but think, "am I abusing it?" "Am I disrespecting it?" "Am I deserving?" "Will I be able to handle it?" I am a worry wort, but these questions have influenced my trepidation about doing more.
Over the past year I have been doing it more and here's what I've learned.
1. Be honest with yourself: Analyze what your intentions are and scrutinize them. Am I deceiving myself? Is my use irresponsible? Also assess any concerns. Why do I feel undeserving? What makes me think that I can't handle it?
For me personally, I worry too much. Way too much. My use of the spice always comes with the utmost respect and reverence, thus there is only admiration and love for the spice and all it has to offer. My concerns are extensions of concerns I have in my life, not really about DMT. For example I tend to feel undeserving of the experience if I feel I have not been ontop of my priorities and responsibilities. That said, I try to do a lot and may be too hard on myself, so certain items not being completed is not necessarily cause for feeling undeserving or an indication of being undeserving.
There's always polyvalency in my intentions. It's a tool for my mental health, helping me to ground myself when experiencing "intensity." It's a tool for experiencing transcendental and enlightening states. It's a spiritual experience always, even if mainly analytical. It's a tool for introspection, allowing me a certain degree of detachment from my emotions and thoughts to observe, assess, and augment them. It's a vehicle for exploring the vast potentialities of the natures of reality and existence.
I never do it just to do it. Nor for fun (granted, I'm not the best at having fun and am working on that too).
It damn sure is never an escape.
2. Stop use depending on degree of necessary integration: some mild experiences need a great deal of integration and introspection. Some heavier doses may be intense, but come with little to be integrated. It's up to me to pay enough attention to know what is sufficient. Having too much to integrate at once wastes experience and thus, wastes spice. It can also cause cognitive dissonance and emotional confusion due to not having completely processed a past experience.
3. Assess external effects: has a particular frequency of use been a detriment or benefit?
In my life as of late, I've been aware of my DMT experiences pouring over into my pragmatic life in a powerful, productive, and meaningful way. I have been getting more done. I have become more responsible. I manage my anxiety, depression, and emotional state better. I am more disciplined (not to say that I wasn't responsible or disciplined before). I am more gentle and forgiving of myself and others. It's important to take note of when/if that ever changes, because if it does, then my use needs to change.
4. Rigorously examine if there is an unsafe or unhealthy dependency: this is extremely important to me since I see dependency on things not vital for survival as a sort of attachment. While I have corrected myself about detachment, I want to remain unattached. I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I would like DMT to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, but that must be tempered with balance, moderation (which can be variable), and without becoming dependent. It should always FEEL like a choice, NEVER a NEED.
5. Is one ready to do the work: For me, even a light dose is not easy, despite desire. I have to know that I'm ready to commit to the experience ahead and what it may entail during and afterwards. It's a type of commitment. One must be dedicated to themselves and the spice.
I am sharing this for two reasons: to solidify these ideas in my mind (because reconditioning takes time and repetition) and to assist anyone who may find this post helpful in analyzing their own use of DMT.
I thank you for reading.
One love
