post one liner jokes

[Transform]

And to think, she turned Dan Ackroyd down for Paul Simon - dang!

why didn’t Princess Leia tell Vader where the rebel base was?
View attachment 98529

RIP Carrie Fisher - a remarkable individual!

 

[donfoolio]

How do you call a bear living at the same time in the arctic and Antarctic region?

A bipolar.

 

[Transform]

I thought my son was doing particularly well with his jazz drumming today - it turns out hornets had set up home in his drum kit.

 

[brokedownpalace10]

A red ship ran into a blue ship
The sailors were marooned

A little girl asks her mom "Before I was born, did you want a little boy or a little girl?".
The mom says "I just wanted a backrub".

 

[Transform]

A red ship ran into a blue ship
The sailors were marooned

A little girl asks her mom "Before I was born, did you want a little boy or a little girl?".
The mom says "I just wanted a backrub".

That last one - so true (my foot massages are no longer suitable for public use, unless I want to get into a lot of trouble )

 

[Voidmatrix]

In the melody of "Let It Be" by the Beetles:

DMT, DMT, DMT, DMT, there will be an answer, smoalk DMT...

One love

 

[Transform]

In the melody of "Let It Be" by the Beetles:

DMT, DMT, DMT, DMT, there will be an answer, smoalk DMT...

One love

If it's music lyrics and DMT we're talking about, I tend more to think of the opening lines of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", which - come to think of it - also suits itself to a rewrite in that direction:

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I went ahead and smoalked the pipe and took the ride..

 

[acacian]

Why is DMT seen as such a reliable teacher? Cos people more often than not take the tryp-ta-mine something... pure I know..

 

[DBTC CATP]

How many trainees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Depends. Depends on the union and if it's a no-strike contract. If it's no-strike then they still have to screw in a lightbulb otherwise we'll fire them.(employyes are not pade)

 

[The Traveler]

What do you call a spaceship full of astronauts on psychedelics? The USS Tripper; to boldly go where no mind has gone before!

 

[brokedownpalace10]

How many trainees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Depends. Depends on the union and if it's a no-strike contract. If it's no-strike then they still have to screw in a lightbulb otherwise we'll fire them.(employyes are not pade)

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb.

Two, but I'm not sure how they would get in there.

 

[Mirage3000]

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?



Doug

 

[SkunK]

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

 

[acacian]

What do you call a spade?





.. a spade

 

[Transform]

What do you call a spade?





.. a spade

A manual excavation implement?

 

[The Traveler]

What do you call a spade?





.. a spade

'spade', 'a 'spade' or '.. a spade'?

/me is confused and cannot decide...


Kind regards,

The Traveler

 

[acacian]

'spade', 'a 'spade' or '.. a spade'?

/me is confused and cannot decide...


Kind regards,

The Traveler

So many options.. but in other news.. chemist misplaces alkaloids. It seems they disappeared into the ether

 

[Transform]

Why did the flabby chemist drink nail polish remover? It seemed like the easiest way to get his acetone...

 

[acacian]

Not to worry though! They’re solvent the mystery as we speak..

 

[acacian]

Why did the flabby chemist drink nail polish remover? It seemed like the easiest way to get his acetone...

Haha .. you should change your name to “flabby chemist”

Just in! Chemist gets tired from using V & P .. he had to have a naptha get his energy back

The social chemist always wears gloves.. for when they touch base with their friends