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Psychedelics and Intimate Relationships

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anne halonium said:
i really dont accept people that DONT trip as fully human, and sorta consider them dangerous socially)

its "family first" values IMO.
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I gotta admit I feel the same. Terence put it very well:

Terence Mckenna said:
I think of going to the grave without having a psychedelic experience like going to the grave without ever having sex. It means that you never figured out what it is all about.
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Being able to share these experiences with a loving understanding partner is one of the greatest blessings this world has to offer. For those of us who have adopted this path as a way of life, I couldn't imagine not being able to share it with your significant other.

That said, it's easy to get lost in drug-fueled infatuation. When the MDMA wears off, is it still true love in the cold, sober light of the dawn? I know I've been in a number of very fun relationships that were not in the best interest of the parties involved when it came down to it. I recall in particular at one point DMT kept trying to show me in no uncertain terms that I was in a relationship that was not serving me, and I kept ignoring it till it all came crashing down, as it always does in those situations.

Psychedelics may be a prerequisite in our line of work, but at the end of the day, they can't be the only foundation of a healthy relationship, just a helpful tool to increase the level of depth and understanding that is already there. IMO/IME anyway.
 
naturally ya gotta test em before, during and after.

sleeping with someone is one thing,
but my typical relationship ,ive watched and screened for a yr before i get wound up.
 
The Grateful One said:
She had a bad day at work and was putting it all on me. Sure, maybe I should have warned her that I was tripping, but perhaps she should have been a bit more sympathetic towards the wide eyed and terrified man she was yelling at. It still bounces around my head every now and again, "why don't you get it? why don't you fucking get it!?" she screamed this over and over at me. I just kept saying "I don't know, I'm sorry, stop yelling..." practically chanting it. I'm not trying to throw a pity party here or anything, hell it was years ago but the point is that from that moment on, I knew it wouldn't last and that our relationship was doomed. She didn't love me like she said she did. The psychedelics showed me that over time. We were stupid high school sweethearts who didn't know anything else besides the mess we were living in.

Funny thing is that she left because of the psychedelics and blamed them for changing me. So on the other side of the spectrum, I gave credit to the drugs for showing me what a heartless, selfish, and cruel person I was being smothered by.
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Sounds like a horrible experience.

I find it wierd when people talk about change as if it's a bad thing. I told my GF I will always be changing. It's my goal. I dont want to look back 5 years from now and see that I'm the same person I was then.
 
The Grateful One said:
So, one time I took 4g of shrooms a couple of hours before my ex got home from work, thinking they would have worn off in time. But alas, they did not and I was still speechlessly tripping when she came home in a rage. I'm telling you that being in an unexpected fight with someone you (used to) love while being emotionally vulnerable because of the mushrooms, was one of the most horrific trips I have ever encountered. She looked like the devil as she spat her hurtful words at me, all because I was tripping and hadn't taken the trash out yet.
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Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh at that situation. It sounds truly horrific .

I think all you guys with Psychedelic partners are so lucky and blessed. I'm jealous .
 
That was quite beautiful, Grateful One. Your post resonates with me deeply.

And, yes, there is most definitely something to what Anne and others said about psychedelics weeding out the wrong ones.

Prior to my current deep, beautiful and loving relationship, I was together with my ex husband for 13 years. We tripped a handful of times early on, but by the time we met most my my tripping was behind me, I thought. Our entire relationship was fraught with self-centerdness, lies, infidelities, and hard drugs like opiates and cocaine/crack. There were good times, and there wasn't ever terrible fights or violence, but by in large it was ugly. We were on the verge of splitting when I got pregnant with my now 7 year old son, so we stuck it out, cleanued up, and were miserable but not abusing drugs or committing distrustful atrocities any more. This went on from about 2009 through 2012.

In 2012 I had a re-awakening and starting trying dig out of the emotional black hole I was in with yoga and a re-found interest in psychedelics.

The psychs told me time and time again that the hurt from all the the b.s. in my marriage was the primary source of my misery. So again and again I took my lesson as I needed to let it go, find a way to move past it. I see now that the only way for that to happen was to leave.

And leave I did. It took the catalyst of finding the love I found with someone who had been only a friend before to leave, but it was the best thing that I could have done.
 
I was completely sober for a long time before deciding to revisit psychedelics. My wife is completely straight, and while part of me wishes she'd trip with me the fact is we fell in love while both of us were straight and I'm the one who has made the decision to change that formula. It was very difficult for me to fess up to her about tripping again and explain to her why I use psychedelics, and so far she's been very tolerant of it.
She'll never trip and it's just as well. I'd feel like Satan dosing her anyway.
 
@Ehud: You know, it is funny that you mention that, because I was so attached to her that I convinced myself that I was changing for the worst and that she was right. It took a couple years for me to realize that she was wrong and that I had indeed changed for the better, as I mentioned earlier. I think this might be why they say, "love is blind" because sometimes it takes years and a whole lot of hurt to realize that this person may be wrong for you. Then you look back now and realize how stupid you were back then in the first place. :d

@Continuum: Thank you. Sounds like you have had quite a journey in your life as well. I think sometimes we stick around in unhealthy or incompatible relationships because we may fear being alone, even if that feeling is subtle. In my situation, she was the only thing I knew, the air I breathed, and all that, at the time, and I always thought we could just "work it out" and get on with our lives. I failed to see that sometimes things just don't work out as planned and we have to let go and be on our own while hoping for something better to come along. I feel this goes hand in hand with the psychedelic experience. It teaches (or sometimes forces) you to let go of your fears and to trust in yourself to be stronger than anything life throws at you. It took many years, but I did eventually start to understand that, which I feel is part of the reason I was able to end up with someone as special as I am now. Anywho, just thoughts and speculations of course...

:)
 
The Grateful One said:
@Ehud: You know, it is funny that you mention that, because I was so attached to her that I convinced myself that I was changing for the worst and that she was right. It took a couple years for me to realize that she was wrong and that I had indeed changed for the better, as I mentioned earlier. I think this might be why they say, "love is blind" because sometimes it takes years and a whole lot of hurt to realize that this person may be wrong for you. Then you look back now and realize how stupid you were back then in the first place. :d
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Yep lol.

Love is blind and hindsight is 20/20 haha.

I figure if you can look back at yourself and say, "man I was stupid back then", you're moving in the right direction.
 
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