Racing thoughts and anxiety following 5g mushrooms

[KB181]

Hey All
I’d like to think I’m in a semi seasoned psychonaut but I am starting to think I am maybe not so much anymore .My last 2 trips on LSD and last one mushrooms have been quite scary . The last 2 LSD trips have been heavy and they basically emulated each other , the come up is beautiful intense visuals and euphoria , but something changes and I feel it it the front left half of my brain almost like a knife stabbing into it . After that , I think I am urinating my self , quite literally pissing my self through the house . I end up in the bath no water just thinking I’m pissing all over my self . Great fun right ….. no not really …. I have been scared to take LsD since because it’s generally unpleasant maybe if I was out in the bush in a safe environment were it didn’t matter if I actually pissed my self and I could roll around in my piss having a good old time it would be different ….This is just the beginning of the story , Recently I have acquired some DMT , I have been having some troubles with the glass Vapor Genie burning it but I noticed that the visuals aren’t as vivid , there almost like hazzy broken up half assed visuals , I just put it down to me possibly burning it .After taking. 4.9g dose of mushrooms last weekend I am starting to connect dots …. The come up was reallllly slow , I have taken 5g+ doses lemon tek of mushrooms were you basically black out cause your so cooked . So I know what high dose of Shrooms is all about . So I’m kicking back in a dark room , lights off wait waiting wait , not much was happening . Then it all started to kick in , but the visuals ? They were distorted , and not vivid and bright and colourful , they were wanting to coming but just could not get fully to me … I left it think because I haven’t lemon Tekd they will become more vivid as the night goes on , but they didn’t they were let’s say pretty lame … but I continued to lay and ponder on life and do some inner work which was usefull . When I decided enough was enough it’s time to have some food ect . This anxiety hit me , my thoughts absolutely racing and just quite unpleasant feeling in general . Now this is really odd for me after having so many beautiful pleasant trips , this is why I take these drugs because they leave me feeling so much better mentally , my anxiety is gone , I can think clearer but this time it’s the complete opposite .The next day I was still filled with anxiety but it wore off and I went for a dirt bike ride with a mate a couple days later and that felt really good . But then it was time to go back to work , and the anxiety hit again . I worked thorough it and got my ass back to work , I work shift work 19 days on 9 off .Then today I woke up 3 days into my shift , crippling anxiety about life again and the anxiety in my gut is scary . Tonight I have been doing a bit of research and found a post about HPPD , and it hit me , I have experience the snow like effect but not for long it would kick in for a few seconds and leave quickly . I thought nothing of it . I am thinking maybe I am sufferring from something like this and should probably stay away from psychedelics for the for seeable future . I don’t abuse these drugs either by there way I may trip 2-3 times a year .FYI I do feel some of the benefits from the mushrooms but again they are almost half assed as the visuals were . And now that I think about it’s almost like the visuals were like the snow effect . I have had LSD before a few years backwere my whole vision what snow effect .Maybe it’s time to pack away my love and desire for psychedelics . Maybe I have learned what I need to learn from them ? I don’t know any insite would be lovely .Thanks team

 

[KB181]

Hey All I’d like to think I’m in a semi seasoned psychonaut but I am starting to think I am maybe not so much anymore .My last 2 trips on LSD and last one mushrooms have been quite scary . The last 2 LSD trips have been heavy and they basically emulated each other , the come up is beautiful intense visuals and euphoria , but something changes and I feel it it the front left half of my brain almost like a knife stabbing into it . After that , I think I am urinating my self , quite literally pissing my self through the house . I end up in the bath no water just thinking I’m pissing all over my self . Great fun right ….. no not really …. I have been scared to take LsD since because it’s generally unpleasant maybe if I was out in the bush in a safe environment were it didn’t matter if I actually pissed my self and I could roll around in my piss having a good old time it would be different ….This is just the beginning of the story , Recently I have acquired some DMT , I have been having some troubles with the glass Vapor Genie burning it but I noticed that the visuals aren’t as vivid , there almost like hazzy broken up half assed visuals , I just put it down to me possibly burning it .After taking. 4.9g dose of mushrooms last weekend I am starting to connect dots …. The come up was reallllly slow , I have taken 5g+ doses lemon tek of mushrooms were you basically black out cause your so cooked . So I know what high dose of Shrooms is all about . So I’m kicking back in a dark room , lights off wait waiting wait , not much was happening . Then it all started to kick in , but the visuals ? They were distorted , and not vivid and bright and colourful , they were wanting to coming but just could not get fully to me … I left it think because I haven’t lemon Tekd they will become more vivid as the night goes on , but they didn’t they were let’s say pretty lame … but I continued to lay and ponder on life and do some inner work which was usefull . When I decided enough was enough it’s time to have some food ect . This anxiety hit me , my thoughts absolutely racing and just quite unpleasant feeling in general . Now this is really odd for me after having so many beautiful pleasant trips , this is why I take these drugs because they leave me feeling so much better mentally , my anxiety is gone , I can think clearer but this time it’s the complete opposite .The next day I was still filled with anxiety but it wore off and I went for a dirt bike ride with a mate a couple days later and that felt really good . But then it was time to go back to work , and the anxiety hit again . I worked thorough it and got my ass back to work , I work shift work 19 days on 9 off .Then today I woke up 3 days into my shift , crippling anxiety about life again and the anxiety in my gut is scary . Tonight I have been doing a bit of research and found a post about HPPD , and it hit me , I have experience the snow like effect but not for long it would kick in for a few seconds and leave quickly . I thought nothing of it . I am thinking maybe I am sufferring from something like this and should probably stay away from psychedelics for the for seeable future . I don’t abuse these drugs either by there way I may trip 2-3 times a year .FYI I do feel some of the benefits from the mushrooms but again they are almost half assed as the visuals were . And now that I think about it’s almost like the visuals were like the snow effect . I have had LSD before a few years backwere my whole vision what snow effect .Maybe it’s time to pack away my love and desire for psychedelics . Maybe I have learned what I need to learn from them ? I don’t know any insite would be lovely .Thanks team

I would also like to note that on the mushroom trip , I felt the same pain in my brain like something was being tweaked and jerked the pain was quite unpleasant

 

[ForgingNewPaths]

maybe if I was out in the bush in a safe environment were it didn’t matter if I actually pissed my self and I could roll around in my piss having a good old time it would be different

Definitely something to consider, I have mainly experience with mushies, only recently dropping some LSD, and with mushies if my environment is even slightly off it can derail the whole trip for sure, leading to anxiety when I am not at all an anxious person. Environment and mental headspace is so important, especially with DMT. People have whole meditation rituals and avoid any form of negative stimulus, and sometimes spend the whole day preparing for the trip.

I have taken 5g+ doses lemon tek of mushrooms were you basically black out cause your so cooked

Is 5g your usual dose? Have you explored microdosing? It may help build back some confidence and trust with psychedelic substances.

I continued to lay and ponder on life and do some inner work which was usefull

Thats good you were able to recognise this aswell, trips aren't always black and white I find.

Now this is really odd for me after having so many beautiful pleasant trips , this is why I take these drugs because they leave me feeling so much better mentally , my anxiety is gone , I can think clearer but this time it’s the complete opposite

So usually all your trips are pleasant, have you experienced bad trips before or is this a first time? They do happen, doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel unless you think its in your best interest.

But then it was time to go back to work , and the anxiety hit again . I worked thorough it and got my ass back to work , I work shift work 19 days on 9 off

Do you think your anxiety is work-related? I understand the importance of making a living, 19 days on 9 days off is intense, assuming you're in the mines or something? Do you feel happy and content with work? There's a difference between processing emotions and compartmentalising, you gotta allow yourself the time and space to feel it and to express it, and work may be getting in the way of it.

There may be some life things you're not aligned on, you may not feel fulfilled with your work or your relationships, there may be things you wish to change but are avoiding out of circumstance, fear, comfort or safety. The only person who knows is you, and I don't mean to make any assumptions, just provide my two cents and maybe ask some questions that may help you!

I wish you luck on your journey!

 

[northape]

After that , I think I am urinating my self , quite literally pissing my self through the house . I end up in the bath no water just thinking I’m pissing all over my self . Great fun right ….. no not really …. I have been scared to take LsD since because it’s generally unpleasant maybe if I was out in the bush in a safe environment were it didn’t matter if I actually pissed my self and I could roll around in my piss having a good old time it would be different

The sensation of needing to urinate while on psychedelics is quite common. While I don't recall which specific receptor psychedelics activate, the urge to urinate and any accompanying anxiety are normal.

Regarding the impulse to go wild, this is also straightforward. We all accumulate repressed emotions over time. The more these emotions are suppressed, the more likely they are to manifest as perversions. Consider, for example, someone who has been celibate for a while and turns to pornography, needing increasingly extreme content to feel any sensation. This illustrates how the psyche operates.

In Tibetan traditions, practices like khorde rushen involve going into the forest and allowing oneself to act wildly. While its purpose there is to build awareness, it operates on the same principle of releasing suppressed energies. You can find extensive information about suppressed energies in works like Stanislav Grof's Holotropic Breathwork: A New Approach to Self-Exploration and Therapy.

As you mentioned, going wild in a natural setting would likely be beneficial and ultimately very healing.

Tonight I have been doing a bit of research and found a post about HPPD , and it hit me , I have experience the snow like effect but not for long it would kick in for a few seconds and leave quickly . I thought nothing of it . I am thinking maybe I am sufferring from something like this and should probably stay away from psychedelics for the for seeable future .

Don't search for a diagnosis. Instead, take a break. Focus on the fundamentals: eat well, sleep well, exercise, and enjoy life. Psychedelics will always be available if you need them later.

It seems you may have pushed too far for your current psychological state. Give it a rest and integrate your experiences.
High doses often end all fun and games and show you what is what for real. Many people choose to stop using them after such experiences.

I'm telling you this plainly: pause, regroup, and then assess if this kind of work is truly for you.

 

[blig-blug]

Don't search for a diagnosis. Instead, take a break. Focus on the fundamentals: eat well, sleep well, exercise, and enjoy life. Psychedelics will always be available if you need them later.

I second this. Psychedelics are inherently destabilizing. Less stability means more chances for change, breaking old patterns, and taking our lives in the direction we want instead of inertia. But we need a minimum of stability, and if we're getting overwhelmed it's not the right moment to destabilize more.

 

[KB181]

Thanks everyone , every response has been extremely valuable for me and I really appreciate it .

I am only on iPhone so it iwas very hard to reply to everyone individually and have also had troubles getting logged in due to internet access .

This week alone I have gone leaps and bounds in terms of my mental state , which is excellent. The anxiety and depression have settled dramatically.

It’s like the mental change has slowly come on we’re as usually its instant and only lasts a few weeks , so I am hoping it sticks around for a little while longer .


I think my issue would be the approach I am taking when I take psychedelics, I tend to take them when times are tough to help me find a solution to what and how things are going wrong and I think and what I am finding I don’t like .

I am a recovering addict and alcoholic so I have allot of flaws that I use to cover up with these substances and I think at the moment I’m still covering them up to a degree or compartmentalising them like mentioned above .

And above all that I do suffer from CPTSD so these drugs I find do wonders for my wellbeing and I think the real work has happened in my last few journeys and having you guys to support me through it has been so handy ! I really appreciate it .

I also must say , I am sorry for my grammar it is terrible , reading everyone’s posts makes me feel like an idiot hahaha .


Kind regards
KB

 

[northape]

I think my issue would be the approach I am taking when I take psychedelics, I tend to take them when times are tough to help me find a solution to what and how things are going wrong and I think and what I am finding I don’t like.

Nothing's wrong here, but you need to be extra careful about set and setting. I'd advise longer periods of integration between your sessions to ground and digest.

I am a recovering addict and alcoholic so I have allot of flaws that I use to cover up with these substances and I think at the moment I’m still covering them up to a degree or compartmentalising them like mentioned above.

If your life situation allows, find a therapist who is open to working with you on your psychedelic self-medication (not an easy task). Other options include finding a support community like AA or a gym, or perhaps engaging in sports. A good social environment tends to heal many problems. Please don't fall into the Church/cult trap. While faith is good, brainwashing and control are not.

And above all that I do suffer from CPTSD so these drugs I find do wonders for my wellbeing and I think the real work has happened in my last few journeys and having you guys to support me through it has been so handy ! I really appreciate it.

If you can't let go of them or pause, at least reassess your use. You need the right environment for these medicines, or they'll just stay and work like drugs for you.

Doing a mushroom trip in nature, far from the city, could be a truly healing experience. Your doses are too high, too. You're basically seeking a fix from them and trying to bypass your issues by pushing beyond your ego. This approach will backfire, as you can see for yourself. Even if you use mushrooms in a city, small doses of something like 2g with a blindfold and headphones playing fine music would be much more healing long-term. This is all just my view on the situation, but I'm not you. You need to see what's useful for you and implement it. Be honest with yourself and take care of your mental health.

I also must say , I am sorry for my grammar it is terrible , reading everyone’s posts makes me feel like an idiot hahaha.

Anyone can write eloquently with some help from AI. I feel that many here appreciate an honest post written by a real human

 

[doubledog]

It's common that after initial phase of pleasant and nice trips you enter a phase when trips become heavy, unpleasant, painful or dissorienting. Nothing wrong with you, psychedelics just do not work in a way other drugs do. Do not expect that you are going to be healed next day. In fact, opposite is often true, you can be in quite bad mental or even physical state.
Ime best reaction if this happen is to stop using psychedelics and focus on small or bigger improvements of your life, especially your relationships with other people.

 

[antichode]

For me, pleasure was on credit. I did not realise untill I’d maxed it out. Now it’s usually pain before most transitions in my life, I don’t feel a lot of pleasure doing things but I do feel joy when I’m present and able to be observant of my self. Grateful when I am there and not in my head, seeking myself through past or future. Just sounds to me like you’re growing up.

I’m also a recovering alcoholic. What I’ve learned over the years is that my trauma and pain is there like the wind, sometimes it’s blowing a gale, sometimes it’s calm. After a lifetimes worth of covering that up I’ve become adept at distraction. Be it drugs, work, people or even just thinking and your illusory sense of self. Anxiety, depression. These are all states of being or opportunities to look deeper and get closer to your true being. Gone are the days where it’s good first then bad later, pay the toll of pain first and find joy after

 

[northape]

Gone are the days where it’s good first then bad later, pay the toll of pain first and find joy after

That's how all traditional medicines work, ime. You pay the price of admission, and if you do a good job, a reward will follow.
The first few ceremonies with natural plant medicines could be all fun and games, but it becomes more like work later on and doesn't let go.
For most people, it's better to reassess their approach and goals after some time. Psychedelics become a path if you engage with them long enough.
Low-to-mid doses with the right set & setting and a firm intention could do wonders for one's mental health. Approach them with caution and respect.

Much love

 

[Jamie01]

5 grams is a HUGE dose.

I can’t believe people routinely do that. I’d have anxiety and confusion, racing thoughts as well. I took 5 gram doses for a while like 20 years ago with a close friend when we discovered Mckenna and psilocybin.

I’ve never had a trip above like 3 grams where I don’t feel like I’m totally loosing my mind for a while before I settle into it.

I wouldn’t eat 5 grams today if you paid me 2 grand to do it. Some people love those doses and I’d say those are the people who like Terrence are less sensitive. The guy was a hard head and was vaping like 75 mg of DMT to get there.

 

[Jamie01]

…and what I said above is why I will not drink ayahuasca in someone else’s ceremony…with a brew someone else made. I wouldn’t even drink if I was in Iquitos. No desire to end up overdosed in a strange country with a bunch of random strangers. I’m pretty certain they would give me too much and the whole scenario would be so ridiculous.

2 hits of LSD I am nearly unreachable.

These feeling of being overwhelmed and anxious etc are just normal with the doses you are taking. Chill out a bit and see how half does you.