"ive done dmt a number of times, but lately it seems as if im scared to smoke it. ive had roughly 20mgs in my pipe for almost a month now, and i keep it right beside me at nighttime. every night ive had the intention of going on a journey but it seems as if something is preventing me from taking the plunge. has anybody else experienced this, and if so, what did you do to move past it? i want to experience the beauty of dmt again, but i dont want to visit if my presence isnt expected."
I've actually found that as the time between my last spice experience increases, my hesitation/fear of hitting the pipe also increases. But I ALWAYS am sitting there after smoking changa laughing at myself, once again, for ever being so afraid.. I think after going a while without it that its important to keep in mind us humans can muster up a whole army of excuses that we cling to for not smoking dmt, or taking ayahuasca, and things like this..and that we often hold these up as rational reasons for not doing it, when in reality it is more like a defense mechanism of the ego erecting from its fear of dissolution. We really, deep down at the core of our being, know what we have to do and that all is required is respect, a true heart, and courage. 'nature loves courage', after all
The fear is normal and you can learn to get used to it/accept it somewhat..and eventually it can fade a lot. Its extremely intense but also extremely beautiful, blissful, and rewarding. I would just try a low dose..preferably with yoga/meditation and some nice music. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Even just stretching is ok. Low doses are the single best way to dissolve the pre-flight jitters IMO. And if you get nervous during the low dose, take some deep breathes, know that everything is fine, smile, and work with that state for a while..because eventually the blocks will be undone and it will be extremely enjoyful. I often take a sip of rue or caapi and then do yoga on changa often to some psychedelic music- its extremely recalibrating and sets me up for a larger dose very well..
So try maybe doing an hour or so of yoga- then meditating for a while- then a low dose, then repeat.. a big dose done after all that is the most effective way to get there for me. The idea, to me at least, that all these preperation techniques and rituals touch on, is to enter hyperspace with as coherent a waveform as possible. And by waveform i mean consciousness. This paves the way for a more profoundly positive experience, higher awareness, higher focus, and better memory recall afterwards
and don't forget to smile :d
laughing can often be enough to turn a trip around