Second experience. Lower dose (Not so pleasant)

[kegz]

Hello friends

So yesterday I go a vape pen with a chamber that has no coils. I wanted to try a small dose so I filled the tiny chamber up and tried it out. I really wanted to just try to get comfortable with the initial hit to prepare for my breakthrough. I got the same exact unpleasant feeling that I did the first time. It felt like I was concerned of whether this was a good thing for me or not. And then it becomes hard to tell the difference between good and bad, they seem intertwined and bounce back and forth. It's not a good feeling but I still want to break through because I've read so much about it. I guess I fear carrying this feeling into my experience.

Anyways I'm going to try to make the best of this week and dose enough to breakthrough this weekend. What do you all think about this method?

The vape pen has a very small chamber so what if I filled it up and then melted the dmt down to make more room and filled it up again another two times or so until I have a good bit melted in the chamber. Then I thought I would go into a dark room, sit on the bed, and just rip a few bit hits in rapid succession without stopping to consider the weird feeling. Maybe I could blast right through that phase and break through? Could I break through using this method with a vape pen or wood it be best to just build a machine? Next weekend I want to go all the way for the first time so I don't want there to be a chance that I will fall short. Thanks everybody I love this place. Happy Monday!

 

[syberdelic]

It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on the mechanics, but are having trouble with the psychology.

My advice is be prepared to DIE. Of course, you won't actually die, but I have found that if I'm prepared for death, large doses of DMT are much less traumatic and I get much more value out of the experience.

 

[kegz]

My advice is be prepared to DIE. Of course, you won't actually die

Thanks for replying. I will keep that in mind. I haven't really tried to breakthrough yet just getting warmed up to the substance. I'm thinking I may try for real this weekend if I feel good about it. After I did that low dose I had no fear of the substance but after a couple days I feel nervous thinking about it. I guess my only real concern is that if I felt that uncomfortable in the waiting room then what if the real appointment is that feeling x1000. I extracted it alone and took it alone.

I'm not great at meditation on my own so it's hard to get in the right mindset. But I've been told when you break through it is an entirely different experience. I'm considering making an appointment for meditation and if I find somebody I like then asking for assistance. Having a guide when I did 5meo made all the difference because I knew somebody was there to watch my body. I feel like this could be something very therapeutic for my depression anxiety but I get so nervous beforehand that it's near impossible to meditate. I'm not going to rush it.. just wait for the right time.

 

[syberdelic]

I would say that it's definitely not x1000. But it's also not very predictable. Once you break through, the feeling can go away but it can get more intense as well but only on a x2 or x3 magnitude. I have found that if I go just a bit over threshold, the anxious and impending doom feeling is usually at least 30% of maximum. To me, this is the hardest part of breakthrough as the desire to turn back becomes significant. Some times, I am so far gone from ego and reality that anxiety becomes an abstract and meaningless concept. But this is not guaranteed. No matter how far I dive in, sometimes the anxiety is persistent.

 

[Asher7]

What do you see, what are your thoughts and what are your physical feelings and emotions when you successfully breakthrough and go deep?

 

[tseuq]

Some times, I am so far gone from ego and reality that anxiety becomes an abstract and meaningless concept.

Beautiful.

No matter how far I dive in, sometimes the anxiety is persistent.

I compare the appearance of anxiety with the upcoming of nausea when f.e. digesting cacti powder. On one hand it is part of the experience, what makes it familiar, thus, the physical arousal is just appropriate to the sitaution/what is happening and on the other hand, there is no need to react to this upcoming arousal, like there is nothing to do with the upcoming nausea after digesting the cacti. Appreciate it, let it be, to let it go, and chopp wood (load the ROA) and carry water (vape the spice).

It is just ... perfect.

tseuq