Seeing behind the curtain

[Voidmatrix]

While part of me is obviously smitten by the sensationalism of the depths, evidenced by me wanting to go deeper so bad, I am very fond of and find more fertile ground for inner work when the visual component of the experiences is removed or subdued.

Interestingly, I have a layered simultaneity of experience, and it's getting easier to manage that.

One love

 

[fink]

Does layered simultaneity mean you are experiencing multiple trip paths concurrently?

 

[northape]

I also have a strong desire to see if I can open the mind's eye.

This is what I saw during my time when it was open:



After some time, that eye at the top closed

I feel that there are significant advantages to aphantasia. Conceptual thought without visual distractions is something I took for granted. I assumed it was normal.

I am very fond of and find more fertile ground for inner work when the visual component of the experiences is removed or subdued

Even if I am presented with some hard stuff, it is mostly energy and feelings for me. My vision is indeed conceptual, and forms are just known. So I do not miss anything, but it presents itself very differently. I had some mind-blowing experiences without any apparent visual component.

I wonder if opening the visual stuff will help or hinder my current psychology.

I think it will just change it. It'll take some effort to open this capacity, so it's a development for sure.

 

[Voidmatrix]

Does layered simultaneity mean you are experiencing multiple trip paths concurrently?

Yes. I've had multiple mental experiences occurring at the same time, I've been in multiple places at once and the weird combinations of the two.

Even if I am presented with some hard stuff, it is mostly energy and feelings for me. My vision is indeed conceptual, and forms are just known. So I do not miss anything, but it presents itself very differently. I had some mind-blowing experiences without any apparent visual component

I have no idea what I'm going to get really. Same dose can be on the side of extremely somatic to extremely visual, to a combination. It's wild.

One love

 

[northape]

I have no idea what I'm going to get really. Same dose can be on the side of extremely somatic to extremely visual, to a combination. It's wild.

You are very dedicated in your use and approach. I think your relationship will develop even further with time. Nothing can surpass Being, so as long as you are stable at your core, anything goes

Personally, I am just going out of the survival phase and starting to experiment with plants. Opening up visions once again is just an egoic wish. Maybe it is not even needed in my case

 

[Voidmatrix]

You are very dedicated in your use and approach. I think your relationship will develop even further with time. Nothing can surpass Being, so as long as you are stable at your core, anything goes

Thank you my friend. I'll see that myself someday.

Being was one of the lessons from the first time I did changa almost a decade ago. I was peeling away as I was propelled through space and time. It was hard to steel myself, and I sought internal resources. I tried focusing on "love" among other things, until I decided to just be. After that, I experienced myself in 3 ways at the same time, having equal parts first and third-person perspectives, as my head as a godhead rose through these "clouds," opened up through the middle, and another me walked out. I was the my own godhead, while also the version of me walking out, and the version of me that could witness it all. They were all entwined but separate.

That said, I don't think it's necessarily ego driven to have visions. If I had only felt all of that above experience it would've been harder to integrate.

One love

 

[redbird]

Its wild seeing how many of us have aphantasia. I spoke about it in the context of the ketamine experience but interestingly DMT is still very visual and colorful for me.
Normally I experience pitch blackness. When I try to imagine a schoolbus instead of seeing a yellow vehicle I "see" the concept of a schoolbus. I know I've summomed it's impression but I don't really see it with any clarity.
Most psychedelics substances bring cevs but the one thing they havent brought (or that I havent known to play with) is control over those visuals the way I imagine people without aphantasia are able to initiate visualizations through imagination.
One thing I discovered with mushrooms is I can see my tactile senses. I was on a moderate dose with my eyes closed and moving my arms and I could see them waving about. Faintly, almost more like an energy signature, but I could track their movement visually in my mind. I've since confirmed this with eye masks, different substances, and even to a degree while completely sober.
I don't know that this necessarily helps with the initial intent of the thread but I guess my point, particularly in mentioning that last part, is that sometimes when we can't do things the way others can it's because we can do things others can't.

 

[northape]

That said, I don't think it's necessarily ego driven to have visions. If I had only felt all of that above experience it would've been harder to integrate.

I have a feeling that visions are somehow very important, and my lack of them has started to bother me. Like you said, they could help us integrate or maybe connect with energies that are otherwise inaccessible.

Normally I experience pitch blackness. When I try to imagine a schoolbus instead of seeing a yellow vehicle I "see" the concept of a schoolbus. I know I've summomed it's impression but I don't really see it with any clarity.

That is a good description of it. I am glad that I am not alone that way.

I don't know that this necessarily helps with the initial intent of the thread but I guess my point, particularly in mentioning that last part, is that sometimes when we can't do things the way others can it's because we can do things others can't.

I feel the same. Nature likes balance, and we must have some other advantage for our line to survive. That is a good attitude to have, at least.

Speaking of strange sensations, sometimes I can see in full darkness on harmalas. It only works in familiar environments, and I have experimented quite a few times with it. Basically, it creates a dream space of the place in shades of black, and I can navigate it with reasonable certainty. It is not one hundred percent accurate, but close enough. This is one more way to show that the whole world is constructed in the mind. Nothing bizarre, but a fascinating experience to have. Maybe the picture would be better if I was a visual guy.

 

[Voidmatrix]

I have a feeling that visions are somehow very important, and my lack of them has started to bother me. Like you said, they could help us integrate or maybe connect with energies that are otherwise inaccessible.

It's a double edge: there's somethings that you can't unsee nor unfeel what you felt from seeing them.

One love

 

[redbird]

Speaking of strange sensations, sometimes I can see in full darkness on harmalas. It only works in familiar environments, and I have experimented quite a few times with it. Basically, it creates a dream space of the place in shades of black, and I can navigate it with reasonable certainty. It is not one hundred percent accurate, but close enough. This is one more way to show that the whole world is constructed in the mind. Nothing bizarre, but a fascinating experience to have. Maybe the picture would be better if I was a visual guy.

Thats so funny you say that. When I was a kid I used to play a game where I tried to get back to my bed without hitting anything after getting water at night with my eyes closed. I got pretty good at it. It's not exactly the same but your point about it working in similar environments reminded me of how I used to imagine the layout and where I would be relative to a wall even though I couldnt quite picture it.
I'm just now starting to explore harmalas. Was this effect dose dependent?

 

[northape]

Thats so funny you say that. When I was a kid I used to play a game where I tried to get back to my bed without hitting anything after getting water at night with my eyes closed. I got pretty good at it. It's not exactly the same but your point about it working in similar environments reminded me of how I used to imagine the layout and where I would be relative to a wall even though I couldnt quite picture it.
I'm just now starting to explore harmalas. Was this effect dose dependent?

I think it is the same principle, but boosted by harmalas. Harmalas tend to create dreamscapes. It is somewhat similar to dreaming awake. I never could produce it on demand, but middle doses (3g rue tea or around 150-200mg extract) were what I used. It worked only with harmalas. Adding DMT usually brings brightness and colors, so the whole experience shifts toward inner exploration mode.

We create reality inside us, so our memory should hold some picture of the familiar place. I think harmalas construct a dream vision based on it, and you can use it to navigate the outside world. Even if we know that it works that way intellectually, having an experience confirming it makes you question reality.

Just as @Voidmatrix pointed, even exploring shallow waters, you can see lots of material and get insights. Being open and curious are all one needs.

 

[fink]

Thats so funny you say that. When I was a kid I used to play a game where I tried to get back to my bed without hitting anything after getting water at night with my eyes closed. I got pretty good at it. It's not exactly the same but your point about it working in similar environments reminded me of how I used to imagine the layout and where I would be relative to a wall even though I couldnt quite picture it.
I'm just now starting to explore harmalas. Was this effect dose dependent?

That is very interesting to me. I used to do something similar. Moving around the house at night, I would look at my path to the stairs, switch off the light to pitch blackness, then move to the stairs on the intended path. Sort of as a game.

Seeing the energy signature with closed eyes, like you mentioned. I'm going to try this!