She left.

[Animistic]

Very sorry to hear that mate. When I was 17 I went through what you're going through and I wish I could say otherwise but it's not easy but it certainly gets easier as the months go on. My situation was different in that she didn't move away and because she was friends with my friends I still saw her a lot but in a way I think that made it a whole lot worse. It wasn't like she died, it was like she had been possessed by something and was a completely different person. Then as time passed I realized that this was an aspect of who she was. In fact not long after we broke up I took LSD for the first time and about half way through the trip I saw her which could have gone both ways but I ended up being liberated and I ended up laughing my head off when she found out I was on acid and she said in some condescending way "You've changed, the old you wouldn't have taken acid" and all I could think was the fact she was beaming out on speed and her bitchy ways could no longer pluck my heart strings.

It's been about 4 years now since we broke up and I see it as an experience which brought me back to who I am where I didn't have to try to be anyone else I could be myself. I do think it was me being myself as to being the reason we broke up but I am so happy that we did now. I'd hate to imagine what I'd be like if we hadn't broken up, I certainly wouldn't be here I don't believe. I'd be too busy trying to be someone else. Just think of the break up as the beginning of something new, it's hard at first but you'll realize in the not too far off future that that is exactly what it is. What is that something new? That's up to you to decide. You'll also come to realize she isn't really as perfect as you would first think and you will always find someone who you can be just as happy with as long as that happiness is true internal happiness and not some satisfaction based on something out in the world. Best of luck to you man, chin up and before you'll know it you'll be much more able to live day to day without a feeling of total loss.

A.

 

[universecannon]

She just seemed perfect. Especially now that she's gone and I cant see her faults. One thing though is that she hated me smoking weed or taking mushrooms, even though she could drink. But that's understandable she's catholic and I can't blame her, it's more of society's fault. Hopefully I find someone with a wide open mind, who doesn't judge. I always wanted to trip with her but there's no way in hell she would ever do that. I did it and hung out with her but it would've been better if she did too. But she was so nice and caring, I've never met any girl so nice. That's way more important. She's so smart and cute too. Ugh. It's worse because I'm shy and never approach girls as cute as her. I feel like the rest of my relationships will all be downhill from here.

The trip didn't go to well. We used to always lay on the couch in my basement together and I ended up crying on the couch alone for a long time, I thought if I let it out I would be better but there's so much I could cry all day and still tear up everytime I think of her.

I'm gonna dive into my studies and try to stay focused. The cool thing is I'm starting organic chemistry this year, I've been excited about that for a while. Now ill be able to talk to you guys about extracts and not be utterly lost.

You will feel better man! I know it sounds impossible to believe at this point, but overtime you will gain a healthy perspective on this and the wound will heal...and you'll be stronger for it, believe it or not

Not to judge her as a person but considering that she is catholic, drinks, and hated that you used cannabis and mushrooms, I really think eventually you will look back on all of this and realize it was for the best that you go your separate ways. Trust me, i was in a very similar situation before at about your age. Someday you'll find someone whose soul resonates with you on even a deeper level

be well

 

[DamiasOfEgypt]

I know your pain. My girl just dumped me. At the same time one of our mutual friends got dumped. I haven't told you all about my Jester and it's a long story so you can PM me to get the full thing. But this is something I wrote when all three of us got in an argument.

Well how do you feel huh? How the hell do you feel. Because pain is all there is. Pain and suffering and failure. And nothing will ever be able to help you. Nothing and no one. We were born alone and we will die alone. With nothing but the dirt and worms to keep us company. And no one ever truly loves you, no matter how much you love them, no matter how hard you try to keep it together you will always fail. And nothing will ever be better. And nothing will ever change. And everything will always hurt. Your wounds don't heal, we only ignore them long enough for someone to tear the scab and pick at it again. But in the end it's just pain, but they won't feel it. Just you. You and your pain and loneliness to keep you company. And it will never get better. And it will never change.I wish things weren't the way they were. But they are. I can't force someone to love me. And you can't force someone to love you. And love hurts. But you only have two choices. Learn not to love. Or learn to roll with the punches.
Sad nothingness that will eat away at you and pain. But if your smart you will forget all this. And find someone else who cares about you. And build your illusion of love. But, no point in crying when your house of cards is blown over. Because as real as the love is to you. It might not mean shit to the other person. You have to just pick up your cards and start over, and build higher, and hope god doesn't hate you enough to send another breeze your way. I wish you more luck than me. My house seems to be ever so drafty. Why do I try to build when It will only be blown over. This house of cards, of smoke and mirrors. Because I was destined for this role. The role of jester in this crazy house.
They say love is crazy. But maybe we were just looking for an excuse to be who we really are?

I feel this way now. But I know I will get over it. Because I know i'm crazy enough to keep my belief in true love.