Sheer terror before vaping DMT

[NotTwo]

Hi Nexonians

I'm just bringing this up as I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had this but it is a major issue for me.

I've vaped DMT about 6 or 7 times now over the last year. My experience with entheogens prior to that was limited to a few goes on mushrooms and acid about 30 years ago. My first smoke of DMT was simply sitting on the bed with my girlfriend as watcher and taking 2 large tokes from a VG pipe. The result was massively beyond anything I could have envisaged and shook me to my core. I hyperventilated through the whole episode (I've since learnt to control my breath as I go into the experience to avoid this) and was profoundly touched by the disintegration of everything I thought I was.

The second time I went for it I have to admit I was terrified with my heart almost beating out of my chest in the minutes leading up to taking the pipe and lighting the torch burner. Once again the experience was extreme, profound, totally ego destroying and beyond amazing.

My thought was, after a few more sessions with the spice, I would generally relax into the experience, or at least relax into the lead up to smoking. However, if I'm honest, I am now basically consumed with terror at the thought of taking DMT. I smoked for the first time in a while yesterday. First time in a while was because I've sat down on various occasion over the last 5 weeks planning to smoke and have simply chickened out. I normally set the afternoon aside to prepare - I do a bit of yoga to get the body fluid, I do some watching of the breath just to calm the mind and I do some specific meditation to get purpose clear for the journey.

Does anyone have any technique or advice they'd like to share on this? I can't see that sheer terror is the best place to be starting a journey and from a physical point of view my body is in a state of extreme stress.

 

[Swarupa]

A little trepidation is natural with these things but having such an intensely fearful mindset going into the experience is far from ideal.

While it's great to prepare for an experience i never really plan to vape DMT, it's one of those things where i just know it's time to go for it... i'd suggest to have a break and when the time is right it'll come to you.

 

[3rdI]

you dont mention if you have a mg scale or not, but if not then get one. when you know your dose response its alot more settling.

loading up a pile and hitting it is like standing on the edge of a diving board with no idea how far away the water is.

once you become accustomed to the effects of different sized doses you can taylor your experiences alot more accurately. Full on balls to the wall reality destroying doses are perfectly reasonable things to be afraid of, doses that wobble the walls need not be feared to the same level, if at all.

 

[concombres]

I suggest making some enhanced leaf or Changa.
It doesn`t have to be extremely potent.
Just strong enough that it allows you to work with small sub breakthrough dosages every so often to get comfortable with the way DMT experiences feel & help get a handle on the fear you feel.
If you are able to slowly dissolve the fear & learn to calm down & trust the dmt on lower dosages working up to breakthroughs or even just upping the dosage a little is not so bad.
Getting comfortable with the experience is key.

 

[FLeP]

Working up my doses slowly and being semi-ambivalent about whether I smoke has helped me deal with the fear. There's no rush for me personally so if I don't feel like I have the energy to cope with what the molecule is going to hand me that day I just leave it for the next. For me DMT is an adventure that should be approached with care for ones well-being.

Almost forgot to mention harmalas. Their sedating effect can be a great ally. Be careful with your dosage though!!

 

[○]

I've vaped DMT about 6 or 7 times now over the last year. My experience with entheogens prior to that was limited to a few goes on mushrooms and acid about 30 years ago. My first smoke of DMT was simply sitting on the bed with my girlfriend as watcher and taking 2 large tokes from a VG pipe. The result was massively beyond anything I could have envisaged and shook me to my core. I hyperventilated through the whole episode (I've since learnt to control my breath as I go into the experience to avoid this) and was profoundly touched by the disintegration of everything I thought I was.

All those common denominators you described are letting you know that you're doing it right.

Really though, the fear/hesitation pre launch is normal, give or take to some degree depending on the individual. But yeah, learning to steady your breath and slow it to a rate of only 2-3 a minute can be really helpful, but sometimes, given the sheer intensity of the experience - breathing goes out the window; or any notable human physiological functions for that matter.

The second time I went for it I have to admit I was terrified with my heart almost beating out of my chest in the minutes leading up to taking the pipe and lighting the torch burner. Once again the experience was extreme, profound, totally ego destroying and beyond amazing.

Sounds like it's all on course

The 'intensity of heart-rate' is common, especially with committed dosages. Although while there is some degree of increased heart rate, alot of it imo has to do with the fact that once you begin diving deep into yourself/hyperspace, in those initial moments; your sensitivity to bodily functions is heightened to such an intense degree, that it 'seems' that your heart is 'about to jump out've your chest', when in reality it's just your sensitivity in those very moments to the perception of your slightly increased heart rate.

Over the years i've tended to completely let go of any worry regarding those moments when it seems as if my heart rate is at some astronomically high level. I just always remember "this is part of the experience, it will run it's course".

My thought was, after a few more sessions with the spice, I would generally relax into the experience, or at least relax into the lead up to smoking. However, if I'm honest, I am now basically consumed with terror at the thought of taking DMT. I smoked for the first time in a while yesterday. First time in a while was because I've sat down on various occasion over the last 5 weeks planning to smoke and have simply chickened out. I normally set the afternoon aside to prepare - I do a bit of yoga to get the body fluid, I do some watching of the breath just to calm the mind and I do some specific meditation to get purpose clear for the journey.

Does anyone have any technique or advice they'd like to share on this? I can't see that sheer terror is the best place to be starting a journey and from a physical point of view my body is in a state of extreme stress.

You're not so much being "chicken" as it is that you're being intelligent about it and respecting the power the experience can present. Not everyone catches on to that, but you seemed to have, which is good. I think aside from getting a committed dosage, individual physiology and sensitivity to the experience in general is a huge contributing factor - some receive sub par experiences with a committed dosage, while some like yourself get blasted into oblivion, begging for your life, etc. It's such a mixed bag it seems with how deep the experience will go with each individual.

I've said this before, as has others here - this experience will dish out as much as you can handle, literally. It's depth is bottomless. After 6, almost 7 years of many earth shattering dosages ..I can't say i've ever found 'the bottom'.

Yogas a great thing as you know; mainly for the fact that above all the benefits of yoga - being able to sustain uncomfortable positions for extended periods of time while having a completely still thought process and while maintaining a slow and deep style of breathing. That there in itself, when you can proficiently master that aspect, will translate over in these intensely earth shattering psychedelic states. They literally go hand in hand..

 

[tengopero]

I have a very similar problem when I smoke. I find that gradually building up to larger doses helps quell anxiety.