Smoked DMT for the first time yesterday.. Need advice.

[kegz]

Hey everyone. So I have lots of experience with psychedelics in the past (mostly mushrooms, a couple iboga floods, and I have smoked 5-meo before which gave me an amazing experience). I REMOVED: NO TALK ALLOWED ABOUT BUYING/SELLING/SOURCING DMT and was eager to give it a try since having such a good experience on 5-meo.

I had wanted to do it for so long that when it finally came time I was unsure if I really wanted to. I eventually started to get ready and took a shower. Right after I showered my grandmother called and was very worried about me, I got upset with her about it (mistake). I proceeded to my room, threw an unknown amount into my pipe and hit it. I didn't feel much smoke hit my lungs as it was easy to hold in and started to count. Somewhere around 6 or 7 seconds I could tell something was happening and I exhaled and WOW!

My perception of everything was immediately flipped to the point where all I could do was lay back and I remember having trouble setting the pipe down like I didn't know where the mattress was. By the point my eyes were wide open and the fan above me had pieced out into geometrical sections. I couldn't recognize anything and had moments where I did not know where I was. Then all of a sudden I felt the strongest feeling of love/worry coming in. I could feel and almost see my grandmother worrying about me. It was so real that I thought she was there, in this place with me.

I got a very strong sense that I could not move on until I went back and worked things out with her. Then I started to come back and began to shake in nervousness and get the chills. It was not a horrible experience but very far from enjoyable. I want to go back but I'm nervous and I think I need to find someone to do some guided meditation with me before I do it again.

I didn't break through last night but the one hit was so intense that I don't know if I could have hit it again. What should I do differently next time? Take a smaller hit so I can take 2 or 3? The instant switch in perception blew me away. I knew it was intense but all I could say was "Wow!" When I did the 5-meo it ever so gently laid me down, pulled me out of my body, and gave me a message. This is way more intense and I want to do it again and really go deeper but this experience has left me very nervous about it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[entheogenic-gnosis]

From my perspective, you did it correctly (though eyeballing your dose wasn't the most responsible action for someone without experience, even when you have experience it can be an issue...), I usually breakthrough before I can exhale and never take more than a single inhalation.

It's normal to have fears about returning, and for me it has never gotten any easier.

I relate the DMT experience to death, but I am always curious to hear how others interpret their venture, if you would care to elaborate on this topic I would be very interested.

-eg

 

[tseuq]

I got a very strong sense that I could not move on until I went back and worked things out...

A great insight, which holds out the prospect of a "clean and bright home". Firstly we have to bring "light" (awareness) in the all the preferably forgotten and dark corners of ourself, to then clean (integrate) them up one by one, enabling us to unfold with full potential in the here and now.

.. I want to do it again and really go deeper but this experience has left me very nervous about it.

It is ok, we stay "here" forever and you are welcomed whenever you want to join the party again.


Welcome to the nexus,

tseuq

 

[kegz]

From my perspective, you did it correctly (though eyeballing your dose wasn't the most responsible action for someone without experience, even when you have experience it can be an issue...), I usually breakthrough before I can exhale and never take more than a single inhalation.

It's normal to have fears about returning, and for me it has never gotten any easier.

I relate the DMT experience to death, but I am always curious to hear how others interpret their venture, if you would care to elaborate on this topic I would be very interested.

-eg

It felt very much like death, but once I hit that wall I felt stuck. Once I got past the negative energy it was kind of like the whole room was geometric and looking at/judging me? Towards the end I explored a little bit with changing the energy. I would start to come down and realize I'm ok, take a deep breath and smile. When I did that I could see everything shift to more positive. It almost felt like a million faces staring at you and frowning, and then smiling at you. But I couldn't hold it because once I would find peace with it everything would start to get more intense and I would get nervous again. So I kind of fell back and forth between good and bad towards the end and I just wanted it to be over lol. The last couple of minutes were spent staring at a lampshade and all of the waves floating through the room. At one point I remember being able to see everything in the room, but there was a transparent copy of it as well made of kind of a golden light. My real question is did I almost break through? And could I have broken through off of that single hit if I had not been blocked by the worries/energy that I was picking up from my grandmother. It caught me sooo off guard because I was expecting to have to take a few hits but as soon as I exhaled everything changed. I was really scared to be honest and I'm not sure if I could have taken another hit because as soon as it kicked in and I was trying to set the pipe down I had no idea what I had in my hand, it was just some weird alien device. I've been going over in my head whether or not to try again today. Part of me thinks I should try to find some friends to do it with before I try again. Do you ever get used to the feeling and have less anxiety about it? It's funny because even with all the research I have done and past experience with 5-meo and other psychotropics, the sheer speed of the switch here is amazing. I want to go deeper, I want to learn, but I am afraid.

 

[kegz]

I got a very strong sense that I could not move on until I went back and worked things out...

A great insight, which holds out the prospect of a "clean and bright home". Firstly we have to bring "light" (awareness) in the all the preferably forgotten and dark corners of ourself, to then clean (integrate) them up one by one, enabling us to unfold with full potential in the here and now.

.. I want to do it again and really go deeper but this experience has left me very nervous about it.

It is ok, we stay "here" forever and you are welcomed whenever you want to join the party again.


Welcome to the nexus,

tseuq

Thanks Do you think maybe I should wait and try to make some friends that would be willing to participate? When I did the 5-meo I had a guide and she had me meditate and pull cards before hand, lit it for me, laid me down and whispered for me to let go. I had a much more pleasant experience that way even though as soon as I was thrown from my body I could feel myself turn around and grab on. I refer to it as bungee jumping because that's exactly what it felt like.

Even though I didn't go further I still heard hymms, saw a beautiful haze of pinkish red and had a soft female voice whisper in my ear saying "Eternal Within" over and over thousands of times. Which was the answer for the question I went into it with and the craziest part is that one of the cards I drew read "External Awareness" and then I was told "Eternal Within"?! When I opened my eyes it had been 30 minutes but only felt like 5 or 10 to me and the voice said it one last time while my eyes were open. I looked up at my guide with my eyes full of tears and she said to me, "it's real isn't it? "

I cried, and cried, feeling so guilty that I had lost connection to this realm that I had just been re-introduced to. So my experience last night was much different.

 

[tseuq]

Do you think maybe I should wait and try to make some friends that would be willing to participate?

Whatever you feel comfortable with, but regardless of the "others", who might surround your body and do their thing, no one else then your full awareness is "entering" the void. The more possible distractions (bright light, loud music, other people,..) you have in your space when blasting off, the easier you lose focus.

Stay with yourself and you will be fine.

.. and if you come back and want to talk about your previous experience, join the nexus chat or drop a post in the forum.

I cried, and cried, feeling so guilty that I had lost connection to this realm that I had just been re-introduced to.

Haha.. I know this one! It is ok, no one can ever get lost, we are you in every moment. Love is unconditional and limitless.

Enjoy the show, it is all y ours.

tseuq

 

[kegz]

Enjoy the show, it is all y ours.

tseuq

Thanks! I am feeling much more comfortable with the experience tonight. Maybe next time I'll be able to fully let go. I really think I could have broke through off that single hit but it was basically telling me I shouldn't be here. When I got stuck in this area I remember thinking to myself that this was the afterlife and I didn't like it. I could feel myself wanting to pull back to what I was. I believe on a positive day this could be something very beneficial for me. Just reading around on here has helped me feel much better about my experience because I've realized that I'm not alone at all. I think you said something along the lines of "We are you" which I can't find now but it helped me feel more confident in maybe doing it alone next time as well. I'm glad I took today to try to make sense of the experience instead of rushing back into it. Maybe next time will be better

 

[05hun]

sounds like a positive first experience. that fear (not quite the right word but close) of going back in seems normal to me, it's not a trivial thing. you'll know when it's the right time. as far as sharing the experience with friends, that's different for everyone I guess, just remember that when the time comes, you go alone, and that's probably something I'd say one would need to be at peace with.

gently as you go,
05hun

 

[kegz]

that fear (not quite the right word but close) of going back in seems normal to me, it's not a trivial thing. you'll know when it's the right time.

gently as you go,
05hun

It's been about 36 hours now since I dosed and the difference in the way I think about the experience now is night and day. I dedicated all of yesterday to thinking about the experience and talking more on here and I've started to realize that it wasn't a bad experience at all. I was essentially thrown into what I've read people call the waiting room and I just wasn't ready to traverse, and it let me come back. So why should I be afraid or worried because I'm back and everything is fine. Also my grandmother has been extra cool ever since I talked to her about it.

So sure maybe I got stuck in a weird place without any true understandable visions or messages but I was communicated with directly in emotion. It was almost like it was saying "Come back after you fix these things". Maybe I was not ready to break through.

 

[05hun]

Yeah it sounded like the waiting room to me. You'll get where you need to go and have the experience you need to have. Safe travels.

Gently as you go.
05hun