suicidal ideation reduction with psycadelics.

[northape]

Trying to build a life here but it seems like I just don't fit in and everything I do is against the rules. I don't think I'm a bad person I just like my freedom and I think sometimes you have to make your own rules...

It's a hard time for everyone. We've gone so far from our natural lifestyle that many don't even remember what this life is all about. Do your best. That's all we can do, honestly.

 

[SkunK]

Thanks I'm trying. This time of year is always the worst for me. Mentally, financially, emotionally.

After two decades traversing pharmaceutical options for mental health ailments, I opt out...
Me thinking a pill is going to fix me has just been a endless cycle of being disappointed and I'm getting too old to be a pharmaceutical labrat.

Dann I feel you on this, this is the worst time of year for me as well, the holidays, my birthday , my daugters and sons birthday all inn the span if a couple months.

I've never suffered any suicidal thoughts in life until about 5 years ago , when me and the ex had a bad separation, and she blatantly lied ijn court, then came to find out my best friend of 25 years wad fucking her behind my back in the off season (he was my employer at the time).

Needless to say I ended up with huge legal issues, luckly my lawyer murdered the case and my incarnation was brief. But lost s lot along the way, my kids, s majority of guns well legal ones, walked away from all my old friends and my circle was small and I thought they were loyal.. Goy heavy into drinking and when I came out of my drinking bender, I was bless with some serious permanent medical issues which make my dsooy life complicated.

I tried councling, but one thing they said was if you express thought of self hard or hurting someone we have to report it and that isn't an option for me as I do plan on getting ny legal guns back and resume my hunting and gunsmithing hobbies.. So opening up to someone isn't an option.

I open up to my dogs. Because they bring me great therapy and are aleays there are for me, they have been with me for 16 & 18 years and have saved me from self harm many times.

I'm hopeful 2026 is my year, I'm off my parole / probation and hopefully can start rebuilding my life.

I too have tried pharmaceuticals as well and they didn't help or make me feel good at all so I also opted out.

I haven't really done psycadellics the last few years, a couple low dose mushroom fishing trips and a Mescaline trip. Mainly because of my mental state, kind of worried where my broken mind might end up, but lately I've heard a calling to use psycadellics to explore my mind, to try and do some healing... the last month I've made a few grams of DMT, have lots of Mescaline Hcl and potent cacti chips to make brews, and an abundance of mushrooms. I'm trying to find the right time and space to do some self exploration and hopefully find a way to come to terms with my trama and demons.

Recently lost my job, and decided to take some time off and

Only thing I'm certain in life any more is you can only rely on yourself and you dog who loves you more tan he loves himself. I wish I had some real life people to talk to, but after being hurt by people I loved and trusted, completely changed my outlook on people and made me very solitary. And that includes family as well for me.

Never thought I'd ever go through this in life, a woman can reall destroy a man. Here's hoping i can sort these Demon's out b4 my doggo hit the rainbow Bridge because some days feels like they are the only thing keeping me going..

 

[blig-blug]

I tried councling, but one thing they said was if you express thought of self hard or hurting someone we have to report it

About this, it depends on how good the therapist is. A mediocre therapist basically just follows a script, and so may report you just because you expressed some aggression fantasies when venting. Mediocre therapists can actually be harmful, and in general I think it's better to avoid them. In my experience, they are the majority.

A good therapist, however, will be your ally and be able to understand you and tell apart the difference between aggressive fantasies and venting, and an actual plan of aggression. They still have to report the latter, of course: e.g. if you say "I'm going to kill myself on day X, everything is ready, etc" and they can't dissuade you from it, as a last resort they would have to report that. But if you're venting and expressing your pain and say "I wish I were dead" "I want to kill myself", "one of these days I'm going to get a rope and hang myself", they will be aware that it's not an expression of an actual plan, and would never report that.

This is based on my personal experience with both kinds of therapists. Finding a good one takes time, but it's well worth it. If you do look for a good one, let yourself be guided by your instincts rather than the fact they practice therapy X. It should be someone that inspires in you a sense of calm, balance, and respect.

I don't know how viable this is in the US, but I'd also suggest looking for therapists that are psychologists. Where I live it's legally required for them to be psychologists, but in the US it's not and most aren't. While them being a psychologist is not a guarantee that they will be any good (again, IME most are mediocre), it ensures that they have a baseline of psychological knowledge that most other therapists will be lacking.

 

[SkunK]

About this, it depends on how good the therapist is. A mediocre therapist basically just follows a script, and so may report you just because you expressed some aggression fantasies when venting. Mediocre therapists can actually be harmful, and in general I think it's better to avoid them. In my experience, they are the majority.

A good therapist, however, will be your ally and be able to understand you and tell apart the difference between aggressive fantasies and venting, and an actual plan of aggression. They still have to report the latter, of course: e.g. if you say "I'm going to kill myself on day X, everything is ready, etc" and they can't dissuade you from it, as a last resort they would have to report that. But if you're venting and expressing your pain and say "I wish I were dead" "I want to kill myself", "one of these days I'm going to get a rope and hang myself", they will be aware that it's not an expression of an actual plan, and would never report that.

This is based on my personal experience with both kinds of therapists. Finding a good one takes time, but it's well worth it. If you do look for a good one, let yourself be guided by your instincts rather than the fact they practice therapy X. It should be someone that inspires in you a sense of calm, balance, and respect.

I don't know how viable this is in the US, but I'd also suggest looking for therapists that are psychologists. Where I live it's legally required for them to be psychologists, but in the US it's not and most aren't. While them being a psychologist is not a guarantee that they will be any good (again, IME most are mediocre), it ensures that they have a baseline of psychological knowledge that most other therapists will be lacking.

I've got so many trust issues, so many demon's sitting on my shoulder I wouldn't even know how to properly vet a said psychologist, and weed out the good from the bad while comfortably feeling safe to actually opening up to someone to address my issues....

I'm just hoping that in this next year, I'll be able to put some of the demon's I've been living with to rest and get back sone of my hobbies while coming to the terms of the great losses I've suffered over the last 5 years.

I feel I've made it through the worst of the storm, and I'm seeing brighter days ahead, just hope its not the calm b4 it stirs up again.

I feel for anyone going through anything remotely similar, and there is some great advice and guidance in this post from everyone here offering advice and compassion its just awesome to see people take time out of their day and care enough to post,

Skunk