As I write this it is 10:52PM and it was around 5PM that I took 2g of rue powder. An hour or so later I consumed another 1 to 2 grams. I then had the brilliant idea of consuming roughly 1.5g of raw acacia root bark. I held it in my mouth, allowed for the bitterness to saturate my senses, and about 15 minutes later bravely sawlloed the lot of it.
I awkwardly chuckle upon the heels of that first paragraph as I had no f'ing clue what I was getting myself into. I am no stranger to these sorts of experiences however this was the first time I embarked upon such a journey solo. The Truth of the matter is the medicine showed up in a form that is/was in some ways incomparable to the experiences i had in "ceremonies". In the solo format I was able to FULLY allow for the medicine to do its workings on my mind, emotions, body, and Soul.
Approximately 30 minutes after swallowing the sacrament that is called acacia confusa which was preceded by the great being that is syrian rue, I noticed some interesting closed eye light duty fractal like patterns. I thought to myself: golly gee, this is easy and pretty. I was completely oblivious to the immensity that was about to take place.
As I was laying down on my back breathing, sort of struggling with the plight of my life up until this point, I was informed that it was time to PURGE. And by purge I mean PURGE. The complexity of emotions that ensued were unlike any previous experience I recall. Though no doubt the medicine of the moment is generally going to be the ''most profound''. What was coming out of me emotionally, energetically, and physically was truly severe.
What ails one these medicines can most certainly assist in changing however as the saying goes Truth Hurts. As a degenerate full of shame, guilt, despair, grief, agony, and the rest of it I can not with a single iota of my being blame the medicine for delivering to me precisely what I need/deserve. Whatever these plants are or are not I would postulate that they are ''bringers'' of Truth/Wisdom Itself. And no doubt not everyone is remotely prepared to a) see the truth let alone b) accept it. The c) as was imparted to me is APPLYING the Truth.
After the purge, the medicine came on in full effect. It was very relatable to past experiences with B. caapi+ mimosa tea in ceremonial format though approximately a third less intensity wise visually speaking. I was close to consuming more medicine as I was partially called however chose to refrain at that time out of mostly attention/care to my physical conduit. I experienced the gamut of human emotions, enjoyed some really cool fractal patterns of mild rainbow luminescence, was put in touch with my inner child, reflected upon every single thing of meaning to my infantile mind and was absolutely challenged/rattled to my core.
"Grandmother"s can be fierce, fiery, blunt, and are the types that do not accept no as an answer. Additionally there can be mercy, grace, compassion, and love however it is my deduction that these less severe qualities must be deserved by the individual. One way to put it is how can one expect anything great if one comes to the QUEEN with ''clogged pipes? Meaning poor diet, poor choices, lack of prep etc. I received my fair dose of all that was offered and am left with a critical opportunity of either allowing for the Truth received to penetrate to the marrow of my Soul or continue on a cosmic loser. I acknowledge the harshness with which I mentate however I also acknowledge the simple truth of the matter. If one is engaging in lie as a conscious degenerate on a moment to moment basis well then I would suggest it is no stretch of the imagination to distill that such being is worthy of such title.
All in all I am immensely thankful and glad that I chose to consume these plants tonight. I also realize these practices are no light matter and shouldn't be messed with without serious awareness of what could and might likely arise. I would never recommend it to anyone without serious consideration to one's state in mind, body, and spirit prior to absortopion. I would however recommend Rue alone to almost anyone short of the counter indicators in right dosage and right research. The addition of something like acacia takes it to a meteorically different level that demands serious willingness of the sojourner to potentially face/see some in some cases cataclysmically horrific content matter.
Back to the purge: it felt as if whatever the f has been inside of me that has been bent upon violating Truth, Nature, and Creation wanted to get extracted however it was made very clear that it wouldn't leave until I was good and ready for it to. This sounds really weird but it certainly had exorcism vibes. Jaw completely ripped open, tears flowing from an extreme inner feeling of pain, coughing up phlegm into my bucket which I am VERY glad I had handy BTW, prayers of assistance/understanding, clinching at times to my blanket or body as if I was giving birth or something, and things I probably can't put words to or recall.
Thank God I had a guiding Light with me that helped keep me centered along the way as it is crystal clear that one could completely lose their minds in these processes. Numerous times an angel let's say helped me stay within the appropriate conditions to receive the ''darshan'' (teaching) that was emerging from seemingly out of no where. No doubt these plants have certain compounds which science says are this and do that however personally they (science/academia) cannot remotely adequately explain the complete profundity of what they can generate in a humans consciousness. At any rate, the TLDR is simply: 4g rue + 1.5g acacia equals HOLY SHIT, GOOD LORD, UNREAL, THANK YOU, I'M SORRY, and I'll see you next time with a much greater degree of respect or otherwise I won't knock on your door at all.
Forgive me for the lack of editing. It's a thought-stream in the wake of an indescribable experience unique to me. Oh, one las thing: THE STARS. I am so lucky to live in a dwelling that has large east/south windows that allow for a great view of the cosmos. Good grief I literally couldn't even transceive the amount of awe wonder light that is there 24/7 yet goes unacknowledged by so so many people. Orion was perfectly visible through a single pane of 3.5/3.5 glass after situating myself properly as to frame it as if i was taking a photograph. My jaw pretty much fell off of my face at that point which I had to later pick up off of the floor and re-attach. Good thing it didn't land in my purge bucket which was oddly more full of fluid that I can make sense of.
I would also like to mention that I spoke in tongues for the first time in my life, I shook/vibrated my body in ways that I do not recall ever doing, found myself toning/sighing significantly, yawning in ways unexplainable, and overall just totally losing it in the best of ways. I can be extremely hard on myself as is probably obvious in my sharing's however I can also allow for the feminine aspects of my being to do what they'd like to do as well. The false notion of that life is supposed to be all easy peezy and alone joyous was made clear to me in this experience. The reality principle can be brutal and must be faced head on if one is to succeed in learning the lessons that they are here to master from my view.
I awkwardly chuckle upon the heels of that first paragraph as I had no f'ing clue what I was getting myself into. I am no stranger to these sorts of experiences however this was the first time I embarked upon such a journey solo. The Truth of the matter is the medicine showed up in a form that is/was in some ways incomparable to the experiences i had in "ceremonies". In the solo format I was able to FULLY allow for the medicine to do its workings on my mind, emotions, body, and Soul.
Approximately 30 minutes after swallowing the sacrament that is called acacia confusa which was preceded by the great being that is syrian rue, I noticed some interesting closed eye light duty fractal like patterns. I thought to myself: golly gee, this is easy and pretty. I was completely oblivious to the immensity that was about to take place.
As I was laying down on my back breathing, sort of struggling with the plight of my life up until this point, I was informed that it was time to PURGE. And by purge I mean PURGE. The complexity of emotions that ensued were unlike any previous experience I recall. Though no doubt the medicine of the moment is generally going to be the ''most profound''. What was coming out of me emotionally, energetically, and physically was truly severe.
What ails one these medicines can most certainly assist in changing however as the saying goes Truth Hurts. As a degenerate full of shame, guilt, despair, grief, agony, and the rest of it I can not with a single iota of my being blame the medicine for delivering to me precisely what I need/deserve. Whatever these plants are or are not I would postulate that they are ''bringers'' of Truth/Wisdom Itself. And no doubt not everyone is remotely prepared to a) see the truth let alone b) accept it. The c) as was imparted to me is APPLYING the Truth.
After the purge, the medicine came on in full effect. It was very relatable to past experiences with B. caapi+ mimosa tea in ceremonial format though approximately a third less intensity wise visually speaking. I was close to consuming more medicine as I was partially called however chose to refrain at that time out of mostly attention/care to my physical conduit. I experienced the gamut of human emotions, enjoyed some really cool fractal patterns of mild rainbow luminescence, was put in touch with my inner child, reflected upon every single thing of meaning to my infantile mind and was absolutely challenged/rattled to my core.
"Grandmother"s can be fierce, fiery, blunt, and are the types that do not accept no as an answer. Additionally there can be mercy, grace, compassion, and love however it is my deduction that these less severe qualities must be deserved by the individual. One way to put it is how can one expect anything great if one comes to the QUEEN with ''clogged pipes? Meaning poor diet, poor choices, lack of prep etc. I received my fair dose of all that was offered and am left with a critical opportunity of either allowing for the Truth received to penetrate to the marrow of my Soul or continue on a cosmic loser. I acknowledge the harshness with which I mentate however I also acknowledge the simple truth of the matter. If one is engaging in lie as a conscious degenerate on a moment to moment basis well then I would suggest it is no stretch of the imagination to distill that such being is worthy of such title.
All in all I am immensely thankful and glad that I chose to consume these plants tonight. I also realize these practices are no light matter and shouldn't be messed with without serious awareness of what could and might likely arise. I would never recommend it to anyone without serious consideration to one's state in mind, body, and spirit prior to absortopion. I would however recommend Rue alone to almost anyone short of the counter indicators in right dosage and right research. The addition of something like acacia takes it to a meteorically different level that demands serious willingness of the sojourner to potentially face/see some in some cases cataclysmically horrific content matter.
Back to the purge: it felt as if whatever the f has been inside of me that has been bent upon violating Truth, Nature, and Creation wanted to get extracted however it was made very clear that it wouldn't leave until I was good and ready for it to. This sounds really weird but it certainly had exorcism vibes. Jaw completely ripped open, tears flowing from an extreme inner feeling of pain, coughing up phlegm into my bucket which I am VERY glad I had handy BTW, prayers of assistance/understanding, clinching at times to my blanket or body as if I was giving birth or something, and things I probably can't put words to or recall.
Thank God I had a guiding Light with me that helped keep me centered along the way as it is crystal clear that one could completely lose their minds in these processes. Numerous times an angel let's say helped me stay within the appropriate conditions to receive the ''darshan'' (teaching) that was emerging from seemingly out of no where. No doubt these plants have certain compounds which science says are this and do that however personally they (science/academia) cannot remotely adequately explain the complete profundity of what they can generate in a humans consciousness. At any rate, the TLDR is simply: 4g rue + 1.5g acacia equals HOLY SHIT, GOOD LORD, UNREAL, THANK YOU, I'M SORRY, and I'll see you next time with a much greater degree of respect or otherwise I won't knock on your door at all.
Forgive me for the lack of editing. It's a thought-stream in the wake of an indescribable experience unique to me. Oh, one las thing: THE STARS. I am so lucky to live in a dwelling that has large east/south windows that allow for a great view of the cosmos. Good grief I literally couldn't even transceive the amount of awe wonder light that is there 24/7 yet goes unacknowledged by so so many people. Orion was perfectly visible through a single pane of 3.5/3.5 glass after situating myself properly as to frame it as if i was taking a photograph. My jaw pretty much fell off of my face at that point which I had to later pick up off of the floor and re-attach. Good thing it didn't land in my purge bucket which was oddly more full of fluid that I can make sense of.
I would also like to mention that I spoke in tongues for the first time in my life, I shook/vibrated my body in ways that I do not recall ever doing, found myself toning/sighing significantly, yawning in ways unexplainable, and overall just totally losing it in the best of ways. I can be extremely hard on myself as is probably obvious in my sharing's however I can also allow for the feminine aspects of my being to do what they'd like to do as well. The false notion of that life is supposed to be all easy peezy and alone joyous was made clear to me in this experience. The reality principle can be brutal and must be faced head on if one is to succeed in learning the lessons that they are here to master from my view.
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