Telling my other half I want to try DMT - Dilemma :S

[obliguhl]

Withholding information is not lying. I don't understand your need to "ask her for permission". To me, that wouldn't be "douchebaggerystyle" but "minding ones own business". If she does not want you to try LSD, chances are, she wouldn't be ok with DMT. Yeah, too bad for her.

I also don't understand why you would want this to be a one time thing from the start.

 

[hug46]

Withholding information is not lying. I don't understand your need to "ask her for permission".

I think it depends what type of person you in regard to wanting to ok it with a partner. Some people may feel a pang of guilt by partaking on the sly and this could mar the experience.
Maybe it is not a case of asking of asking permission but making sure that she is ok and doesn"t worry about the OP. I personally wouldn"t mind not telling my partner as i do not see it as a thing that could harm her. Having said that, she is ok with me doing DMT even though she does not understand the appeal of it.

I think that with holding information is a grey area with regard to lying. Having an affair behind someones back but not telling them is tanatamount to lying. Surreptitiously expanding your mind on the quiet is perhaps less of a crime.

 

[sjaman]

Dont tell, if you need to ask somebody for permission. Weeks after you will probably ask yourself why you fell in love with her in the first place....

 

[Randomness]

I think the spirit molecule film put my GF off me doing DMT she thought all the people were strange and didn't want me to become like them. All that talk of being shot out of a cannon and rooms where souls wait to be reborn was a bit much. We argued because of my DMT use. It was not until she realised that it was a once in a while thing and nothing to worry about that she chilled out about it.

I don't like to lie about drug use but it was a bit of a battle and she still calls spice "class a drugs" she is fine and always has been with me doing mushrooms and LSD occasionally and my herb habit but I am sure the spirit molecule scared her with regards to DMT.

If your going to talk about DMT have a look at the studies they did on Aye use in South America the results were that regular users were normal, well balanced people who generally had jobs and were slightly happier and less stressed on average than the general population. Way less hype not as scary as people thinking they are dead or being probed by aliens.

You may have a battle on your hands as I did but you have to go with your calling and do what feels right for you otherwise you will have regrets in life. Explain this to her if you are determined to try DMT.

Have you thought about what you want to gain from the experience or deep down why you want to do it? Could be worth thinking this through. DMT is not for everyone and can be quite a shock if you are not prepared and are not ready to have your perception of reality shattered.

 

[Mimosa_Man]

IME I have found that hiding my DMT use affected my mood when trying dmt the first couple times.

I was constantly worried about "what will she think" "what if she calls while I'm tripping and I don't answer" it put a pretty negative spin on my first few trips until I finally told her and explained what it does for me and how it helps me.

She still doesn't really understand but she did try it twice herself and doesn't like it, but she allows me to use it still because of all the good it has done for our relationship. She sees how good it is for me and knows a lot about the drug because I made her research it heavily before letting her try it out.

So in conclusion, I felt bad about "sneaking dmt" and it negatively affectedmy trips. So if you feel the same way I would simply do as others have suggested and explain to her your reasons for wanting to try it, put an emphasis on how dmt is NON-addictive and how it is amazingly spiritually positive and encourage her to fully research the subject before making a judgement on whether or not she is ok with you trying it. Make sure you tell her " I might not even enjoy it, I might never do it again, but I NEED to see what this is all about and I won't feel right until I do"


Good luck

 

[Akasha224]

As the "guy introducing DMT to his girlfriend," I feel obligated to respond to this.

I personally don't tell my girlfriend about every trip I have and every substance I ingest. She knows that I only like things that are strictly natural (cannabis, DMT, psilocybin) and that I use them for the purpose of self-actualization/self-enlightenment/whatever it is to you. As an EXTREMELY introverted person, I enjoy sharing a trip with no one but myself (I only trip alone now), both during and after. I feel that talking about it afterwards (sometimes) lessens the experience on a personal basis. This is just my opinion.

As far as your relationship goes...I kind of agree with what some of the past posters have said. You seem like two very different people, and, at least in my experience, opposites do NOT attract. My ex-girlfriend sounds like she may have had a similar mindset to yours; she did smoke Cannabis daily (but did no other drugs, including alcohol), but all other drugs were EVIL, AND BAD, AND ADDICTIVE, because Aunt so-and-so died of a heroin overdose and Uncle so-and-so drank himself to death. She had a very set-in-stone mindset and an ego the size of a small oil tanker. When I told her about trying psilocybin the first time, and the unbelievable, life-changingly positive effects it had on me, she pretty much just rolled her eyes at me and started talking about something else. So it's doubtful to think that she would have been very accepting of "mixing some plant stuff with lye and paint thinner and then smoking it like meth" - this isn't what a DMT extraction actually is like, but I'm just trying to see it as an "outsider" would.

She just doesn't sound like she's into drugs dude. Well the indignant part of me wants to agree with all the other people who are saying just do it and don't tell her, the borderline-intelligent part of me knows that doing it behind her back will most likely mess up your experience and lead to a bad trip. While I have tripped "behind my girlfriend's back" myself, I'm not doing anything she doesn't know I do (semi)-regularly.

One more thing: DMT will turn your world upside down. I personally no longer have the ability to interact normally with the kind of people you're describing (Step 1: Go to school; Step 2; Get a job...that whole thing) after the journeys I've gone on. I just can't relate to, or understand that lifestyle anymore, just like the people who think that sitting in front of a TV while their brain rots and they get fed propaganda wouldn't understand that sitting and listening to the birds outside of your window is more pleasurable than anything we as mere mortals could hope for.

 

[d*l*b]

For me the most important things in a relationship are trust, acceptance and honesty and openness and if you can’t have all of these things between you mutually you are either doing the wrong things or in the wrong relationship.

It should be fine to do things that your partner has no interest in. A partner should also be a good person to be look out for you and save you from getting too off the rails in whatever endeavour you may be involved in, however that takes them being fairly clued up about things as well as you both being totally open about how you are living your lives.

Spice is a hard one as it is so far off the radar for the vast majority of the world and impossible to comprehend for the unititiated so the openness part of things may well be hard for many.

 

[Global]

I say, tell her you're going to do it and that's that. I never understood the "I have to ask my significant other for permission" mentality. Is she your girlfriend or your mommy? Be honest. Tell her what you're doing and follow through with it, and let the cards fall where they may. She'll either get over it or she won't. This way everyone is honest. If the DMT experience goes sour, she gets to tell you she was right (even though she's not), and if everything goes well, you can try your best to articulate to her the importance for your having the experience. She can love you for you, or she can love the person she wants you to be. I'd rather be loved for myself. If she disapproves with your decision to the point of wanting to leave you, then she might be willing to leave you over something silly down the line.

 

[dark-king]

to OP: You told her you want to bungee jump (take LSD) and she told you not to do it and wasn't happy about it. Imagine how she will react when you tell her now instead of bungee jumping you want to go sky-diving from 10000m altitude (DMT) ))

This is how much more intense it is ...
and I assume she is not stupid. No matter what you tell her about the molecule she will google or wiki it and come up with the phrase "most potent psychoactive" stuck in her mind.
...)

....because right now she does sound a bit like mommy

 

[Parshvik Chintan]

Withholding information is not lying.

Lie - Wikipedia

 

[Nathanial.Dread]

Why do you want to smoke DMT?

You say you don't have any other drug experience besides occasional cannabis, and yet you want to launch yourself headfirst out in hyperspace? As a rule, we don't recommend someone go to DMT without first at least learning how to explore their consciousness is other ways, since DMT can be overwhelmingly intense.

Why not try 1.75g of psilocybin mushrooms out in nature somewhere and see if the whole psychedelic thing is for you?

You also have to figure out if you gf is down, not only with you taking DMT, but with you extracting it and creating a temporary lab in your kitchen or basement: that's another huge thing to confront.

DMT is NOT something you should do if you've just heard about it online and it seems like a cool, out-there thing you could do for fun.

Blessings
~ND

 

[Metanoia]

I was going to say follow your interest and try it, no one should stop you from doing what you want to do. Just don't tell her about it. But then these comments made me rethink the advice to attempt to hide it from your significant other.

IME I have found that hiding my DMT use affected my mood when trying dmt the first couple times.

I was constantly worried about "what will she think" "what if she calls while I'm tripping and I don't answer" it put a pretty negative spin on my first few trips until I finally told her and explained what it does for me and how it helps me.

I say, tell her you're going to do it and that's that. I never understood the "I have to ask my significant other for permission" mentality. Is she your girlfriend or your mommy? Be honest. Tell her what you're doing and follow through with it, and let the cards fall where they may. She'll either get over it or she won't. This way everyone is honest.

Honesty is best in an intimate relationship. If she cannot handle the fact that you're interested in these things then perhaps you aren't meant to be together. Especially considering the way you've described her attitude toward the way you make your money and a seemingly benign recreational cannabis habit.

My ex was similar in some ways. She could not differentiate between any drugs at all and saw them all as evil. Except caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol, of course. :roll: To her, DMT was meth and heroin. No difference. I was honest with her from the very beginning but she just couldn't see things any differently than how she was programmed to growing up. We had other problems with our relationship, but I think my use of psychedelics was a particular sore point because neither of us were willing to budge an inch in our opinions.

Maybe try to talk it through with her and let her see the potential positive effects DMT could have on your life and your relationship with her.

 

[DMTme]

I have to say it one more time, that I really appreciate all your answers

Im not sure that I have made it clear enough, but im not asking by permission from my girlfriend. We have always had a very open relationship, and have did what we wanted to without any problems regarding the both of us.

I have already tried to smoke DMT once, but the attempt failed and nothing happened. Back then I didn't tell her it, and still haven't. But now when I want to try it for REAL the first time I want to tell her it. I think it's all about how I tell it to her. But im not sure what's the best way is. You can have done alot of research and have material ready, but as you guys said, I think she will do her own "research" once I tell her.

I can only say to her the best way how I want to experience some higher conciouss experience, and then I have to take it from there. Regarding to the experience itself, I want to know what my own conciouss is all about. I don't exspect any answers from the experience, but things have happened and changed in my life, that I want to get some perception on from another angle if you can say it that way. I started to question many things in this life after my father died when he was only 50 years old. I was 19 back then, and the doctors couldn't tell us what he died of, but that only 50-100 people died of unknown reasons like this every year. His heart just stopped one night, but the doctors couldn't tell us why. He got every test they had a few days before his dead and sent him home with the results, that he didn't had anything to worry about. Two days later when he woked up in the middle of the night, he just dropped to the ground. My mother tried CPR, but unfortunately it didn't help.

As said earlier I have had alot of thoughts after his dead. What is this life all about? how come a man that didn't have any diseases and lived a healthy life die at the age of 50.

After that horrible experience, I have learned that we never know what will happen, and you can only do what makes you happy and try to live your life the fullest. One thing is for sure. I have certainly become more spiritual after this episode of my life, but I have certainly also tried to figure out what's this all about.

 

[Global]

There's that "Neurons to Nirvana" DVD. Perhaps that will make a good icebreaker for the subject. Or you may have to explain to her how meaningful you feel this experience has the potential to be for you. Even if she does get upset, how long can she stay mad for realistically? Come out, tell her your intentions and what you hope to take away from it, and there's a good chance that she won't be completely happy, but there's going to be a price to pay whether you decide to be honest or not, and it seems like you're trying your hardest to be honest. When I told my family members, I used my own experiences to try and back myself up, and I still think some of them don't quite get it, but it's out in the open now, and it does feel better for it.

 

[hug46]

If you want to be completely honest with her perhaps you should explain the potential hazards aswell as the many advantages. Maybe let her read the Why You Shouldn"t take DMT sticky. There is the possibiltiy that it may put her off more but it may also convince her that you are approaching the experience with an open mind with a view that it may not all be sweetness and light.
You have already lied to her by with holding the fact that you tried to smoke DMT once (even though nothing happened). Your relationship is doomed!!! I agree with honesty contributing to a fruitful relationship but i do not think it is humanly possible to be 100% honest all of the time.
I think you will do the right thing, even if you later see it as a mistake. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, usually because we learn valuable lessons when we make mistakes in our relationships.

 

[Akasha224]

You also have to figure out if you gf is down, not only with you taking DMT, but with you extracting it and creating a temporary lab in your kitchen or basement: that's another huge thing to confront.

This is a point that everyone, me included, seemed to forget in this thread. Do you currently live with her? If the answer is yes, do you think she would be ok with you "cooking drugs" in your home? \

 

[DMTme]

@Hug

What do you mean by my relationship is doomed? As meantioned earlier I would also prefer to tell her even though it perhaps would be after my experience.
I am very openminded regarding thix experience. I am ready to learn more about myself even though it perhaps also would have some negative sides aswell. I think we all become much better people by correcting the more negative perspective of our self. Off course I hope that it will be most a positive experience, but as some have mentioned before it can also be a shocking experience, because you find out some things that your ego is protecting you from in your everyday life so to speak.

@Akasha

I live with my GF, but I don't see the "cooking" as a problem. I already have a guy, that I get the spice from. But perhaps I would to try to extract some myself at some point.

@everyone

I saw this video: The psychedelic experience

In regarding to show/tell my GF about it, do you see this video as a positive/negative video, if you had to look at it from "I know nothing about it" perspective?

We already saw "Neurons To Nirvana". I think it was a great documentary, because they go in-depth with every of the drugs and with that method compare them to each other. Unfortunately my GF was occupied by doing something else at the same time we saw, so I don't think she was so concentrated on it. Would you just say "I have this documentary, that I really want you to see" or how is the easiest way to introduce all the videos, articles etc already provided in this thread?

 

[hug46]

@Hug

What do you mean by my relationship is doomed? As meantioned earlier I would also prefer to tell her even though it perhaps would be after my experience.

That was a joke in relation to relationships not working out unless you are 100% honest. I think that you have a good attitude towards your Mrs in that you want to ok it with her, and i do not see it as asking permission but more as a concern for a partners views. We cannot help who we fall for and whoever we fall for may have differing opinions as to what is right and wrong to us. This isn"t necessarily a be a bad thing if compromise and learning takes place as to why there are differing opinions. My girlfriend thinks i am barking mad for doing DMT and i am open to the possibility that she is right. Having said that she also likes to ask me what i saw and experienced whenever i take it. So i do not believe that she is completely closed to the benefits.

I still stand by doing it on the sly if she was diametrically opposed to it. Maybe your relationship wouldn"t last but not many relationships do in this day and age.

 

[FloorFan]

I want to commend you, DMTme, for even making this thread originally. It's a very personal thing to ask others how to relate such a touchy subject to your significant other. It shows respect and concern for her and your union.

Global said it best with: "and it seems like you're trying your hardest to be honest."

That's why I originally put my limited two cents in.

With that said, a cool movie, one of my favorite, might be a nice conversation starter on the topic. This movie is Renegade (USA tittle) or Blueberrry (European tittle).

From IMDB, "Alledged wayward adolescent Louisiana gentleman Michael 'Mike' Blueberry is dumped by his family with a Wild West uncle. The brute's only 'motivation' is a stick. After a nearly fatal encounter in the brothel with Wallace 'Wally' Sebastian Blount, Mike is left for dead in the desert. A Chiricuahua (Apache) medicine man's family finds, nurses and initiates him. After the shaman's death, Mike returns and becomes the town's honest 'deputy' marshal. Gold fever strikes, with staged Indian brutalities to allow rivaling fiends to invade their sacred mountains. "

The gold they are after turns out to be the native entheogens and knowledge of the "other world." It's an amazing movie with splendid visuals and a heavy center on love. The director has participated in over 100 ayahuasca ceremonies himself and used this as research for the movie. He made a documentary of these ceremonies, although interesting, it may be a bit off putting to show a new initiate of your intentions.

But this movie, Renegade/Blueberry, that might be a cool thing to watch with her just as a movie starting off. It has Eddie Izzard and Juliette Lewis in it (her real father play her father too )

 

[FloorFan]

Oh, I forgot to comment on the "Psychedelic Experience" video. I watched it, thought it was wonderful, but for a first time video, the guy seems a little too intense or into it. It seems to be geared towards people who are already somewhat interested.

It seems as if some people are just not on the same path. I showed a really good friend about psychedelics and they said "interesting, but I'd pass." Which is completely valid for them. Now, I've showed my girlfriend about psychedelics, and she lights up and becomes glued to the screen.

I do wish you luck and hope you girlfriend is at least accepting, maybe even interested in what you experience.