The "horror show"

[Ernestine]

>95% of my experiences are fascinating, instructive on deeply personal issues, or mind-blowing in other positive ways.

However, every few months I will have a different experience which I call a horror show. Tentacles will "attack" me, coming towards in a threatening way. It's not particularly scary or disturbing. It just becomes a bit dull and uninteresting to have these sessions.

I feel sure there is some clever way you navigate past these, rather than getting stuck. How do you do it?

 

[Tumupasa]

Hey Ernestine, are you sure, they're "attacking" you?
There can be a lot of frightening and unwanted experiences in ayahuasca and DMT sessions, and though it's just a gut feeling, I'm pretty sure everything is useful, an most of all if it's coming back every now and then. Lots of them are symbolic meanings and need time and sometimes experience to get the meaning of it.

 

[Nydex]

I can't speak through personal experience here, but perhaps these experiences come your way for a very specific reason. Maybe look into the metaphorical meaning of such visions through your own lens and try to understand what might be the purpose of you going through something like that.

As a last resort, you can always remind yourself that hyperspace usually tends to give people what they need, which might not necessarily be what they want. After all, to impose our own expectations upon a phenomenon about which we barely know anything would be an unreasonable thing to do.

 

[Ernestine]

Hey Ernestine, are you sure, they're "attacking" you?
There can be a lot of frightening and unwanted experiences in ayahuasca and DMT sessions, and though it's just a gut feeling, I'm pretty sure everything is useful, an most of all if it's coming back every now and then. Lots of them are symbolic meanings and need time and sometimes experience to get the meaning of it.

Well, I suppose not. It feels that they are, or that at the very least that they intend to be threatening but they do not actually attack me they just persist in their apparently malign presence and we end up at a kind of impasse, me looking at them and them just sitting there. I have had a bit of an issue with trips reaching unsatisfying, stuck endings before. However, i felt that I'd made some progress in focusing on on a detail with loving curiosity to get moving again, but I couldn't manage it in this scenario.

I can't speak through personal experience here, but perhaps these experiences come your way for a very specific reason. Maybe look into the metaphorical meaning of such visions through your own lens and try to understand what might be the purpose of you going through something like that.

As a last resort, you can always remind yourself that hyperspace usually tends to give people what they need, which might not necessarily be what they want. After all, to impose our own expectations upon a phenomenon about which we barely know anything would be an unreasonable thing to do.

I will continue to do so.

Immediately prior to this experience I had a deeply personal lesson from the elves (so to speak) on my relationship with my child which certainly seemed like something I benefited from.

 

[Transform]

I feel sure there is some clever way you navigate past these, rather than getting stuck. How do you do it?

I've had menacing entities seemingly trying to intimidate me while on psilo mushrooms. They gave up when I imagined amusing scenarioes like them tripping (stumbling ) over their long robes or suddenly needing to use the bathroom. I'd say this was with a fairly low dose, so that made it easier to influence - and it's not DMT, of course.

On further consideration and experience, particularly with visionary doses of harmalas, the key point about the humorous scenarioes is that they brought a smile to my face. This alone is capable of influencing mood through neuromuscular feedback - Syrian rue taught me this through navigating some more psychoemotionally taxing dream-vision experiences; again, though, it's not DMT. Maintaining the level of awareness required for precise muscular control may take a bit more learning in those particular cases.

Does this ring any bells for you?

 

[Ernestine]

I've had menacing entities seemingly trying to intimidate me while on psilo mushrooms. They gave up when I imagined amusing scenarioes like them tripping (stumbling ) over their long robes or suddenly needing to use the bathroom. I'd say this was with a fairly low dose, so that made it easier to influence - and it's not DMT, of course.

On further consideration and experience, particularly with visionary doses of harmalas, the key point about the humorous scenarioes is that they brought a smile to my face. This alone is capable of influencing mood through neuromuscular feedback - Syrian rue taught me this through navigating some more psychoemotionally taxing dream-vision experiences; again, though, it's not DMT. Maintaining the level of awareness required for precise muscular control may take a bit more learning in those particular cases.

Does this ring any bells for you?

Yes it does. I had a breakthrough (no pun intended) in my approach last night. I have been working on approaching the experiences with more generous and kind curiosity, rather than my previous neutrally (i e. control/suppress emotion) interested stance, ready to learn but I now see it was more intellectual rather than emotional.

Last night, somehow, I took it further. I let go of the thinking mind and took a feeling stance. I decided to try hold the experiences with loving kindness but without the need to -do- anything with them. Then, all the riddles dissolved and everywhere i looked I found myself looking back. I thought this might be diamond mind or a little facet of it.
For as long as possible I tried to continue to lead with the heart rather than thinking about this state and what it may mean. It was beautiful. I hope it doesn't sound grandiose.

I wondered if it would be disrespectful to dive in again. The heart said go on. Maybe a little deeper? Let's try a full lungful and see how we get on. Whoa. The centre held. I can contain it, feel it, hold it with loving kindness, without controlling it. I resolved an issue I've been having with memory loss on high doses, the answer of course is to feel it, not to think it.
I'm am full of wonder and gratitude.

Ingredients:
564mg of Syrian rue seeds, held in the gums.
Dual coil setup, with 4:1 PG at 33W.
Music: Erothyme and Vibrasphere.