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Wading in slowly, no breakthrough but scary intensity. How to proceed?

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legatomaster

Rising Star
I’ve done a lot of LSD and shrooms in my time (mostly in the past since I’m in my 40s now), but I’m a noob to the DMT world. I tried an extraction and got really good results in my first try with some almost pure white (a little yellowish) flaky results. So now it’s time to give it a shot, right?

I’ve tried to be very respectful of what I’m doing. I did a lot of research and am going in with a bit of caution. I also lead a busy life so I need to wait for a day where everything went well, nothing major hanging over my head, etc. So one night I just wanted a “taste” as my first foray. I sprinkled a little bit into a glass vapor genie. Had my GF in the room as sitter, but pretty sure that wasn’t needed. I got mostly a body buzz and ringing in my ears. Some minor visuals, but no fractals and it only lasted about a minute. I got what I came for that day, which was a little perspective on how strong it was and what the onset was like.

About a week later I had a great day, everything was good, so I loaded up 25mg on top of some vaped leaf. I decided to be alone, but my sitter was in the next room. My goal was to get it all in one hit, and I think I did. A long drag, I laid the pipe down and laid back while I felt the overwhelming onset. I closed my eyes and there were the fractals right away. They were sort of sideways figure 8 shaped “bubbles” flowing in from all sides, and each had vast patterns inside them that seemed to go infinitely deep. The patterns were deep blues, purples, and reds. This was really intense, and I started telling myself everything I said I would. “Keep calm, you knew this would be intense, it’s only for 15 minutes…”. My next thought was “ITS TOO MUCH! Fifteen minutes of this is ETERNITY!!!”. Ha ha, I admit I started fighting it. I got a taste of reality slipping away and I held on as tight as I could. I opened my eyes and saw my room, but it looked like it may start breaking apart so I closed them again. At that moment I was thinking “I’m never doing this again, just hold on!” Yeah, I panicked a little bit. I thought about yelling out to my sitter in the next room, just as an anchor to reality, but I decided to go it alone. I didn’t want her to get worried if I blasted off and became non-responsive, and I knew I could get through on my own, as uncomfortable as this was. My hands were interlocked over my stomach, and I just kept rubbing my fingers together as a way to keep me in touch with my body.

I saw no entities or anything like that, but as the fractals waved in from the sides I swear a saw the outline of a female head and arms, just for a second. She was either moving the fractals around in front of me, or she may have purposely tried to make me see her before it wore off. Maybe to let me know she’s there waiting for me. She was there for maybe one second and then the effects started to subside. No more fractals, things are calming down now, I made it. I was terrified for a minute (4 minutes to be more specific), but there was never a time I thought I wasn’t going to be ok. The first experience of possibly having my reality ripped away was quite shocking. I don’t think you can be ready for that. Funny thing is, I was REALLY nervous about taking that first huge hit, and now I feel much less nervous. I’ve been there, it’s scary, I came back, I’m fine.

My plan now is to do a couple more low doses in an attempt to “make friends” with that scary place I was in. Maybe start at a not so intense level. I think if I had just laid down and went with it I may have broken through last time because this was CRAZY STRONG, but I fought it. I want to try a few more until I can get there and not fight it. I think back to other psychedelics where I could “let” things get really weird, but could shake it off and pull reality back. I learned that this is NOT THE CASE with DMT. You’re going where it wants to take you, and even though I knew that, the first time was pretty scary. It's very interesting that somehow I'm now less nervous to do it again although the experience was more intimidating than I expected.

I’m sure opinions will vary, but I wonder what other people’s thoughts are on this approach of trying to get “comfortable” in the lower place before just blasting off. I’m confident that all I have to do is stuff a higher dose in the pipe when I’m ready and it will be T-minus 3, 2, 1…
 
Hi,

please hit the search button and type "pre flight anxiety" in the subject rule, you'll see a lot of related threads, you are a very normal reacting human being ;)

I remember a quote of someone asking indigenous persons if they do not become afraid in the ayahuasca, and they confirmed very much so.

The individual relationship toward fear, there can be made progress. Like asking to the fear to come of your throne, so it takes one step down from all-that-matters. It takes its due time but I can't think of a more valuable time investment and you can do that parallel with daily tasks, monitoring where fear secretly steers your thoughts and feelings. To accept and embrace it, and ask it to tame down character one octave or so please? Being persistent that question might start to echo into first line response programs reflex ding dongs. It's ongoing process, and days differ.
 
Yeah it can be an incredibly powerful experience.. especially the way you'd went about it with doing it in one hit, definitely no playin around there :d

Working with lower dosages first like you'd mentioned, I think that sounds like a good way of going about it.

Or you could make a nice changa blend, and with that since there's an addition of harmalas - you can gain a bit slower of an entry into the experience (depending on how much harmalas are added). Though if you were to take a good dose of changa in the one hit method - then much of the 'ease of onset' from the harmalas would most likely go out the window, and it would end up coming on pretty fast (just like freebase ime).

Or predose some harmalas then vape freebase <3

It's powerful powerful stuff when done right.

Though working up to it can be all the better :thumb_up:
 
Thanks for the replies. I know there are a million posts out there just like this one from people in this very common place. It's a little therapeutic for me to just make the post and put it out there to the universe.

I'm looking forward to the continued adventure, and I'm thankful to have experienced the powerful potency this first time. All I can say is WOW! I'll certainly make future posts on the progress, and what I hope will be the eventual breakthrough! (Though I'm in no hurry. More interested in doing it all the right way.)
 
Quick update. Tried some smaller doses tonight and WOW!, GREAT!!! SOOOOO Goood!!!! So different from the scary experience. Really eye opening! So comfy and nice. Good to know already though what "too much" of a good thing feels like. I think/hope ill do better next time, but we shall see. Such great experiences tonight!
 
What amount was a "smaller dose"?

I've recently had an experience where, after having difficulty measuring accurately with a .00 g scale, I believe I may have smoked 'way too much'. I tried my hardest to measure out 45mg but the scale would be inaccurate from .01-.05.

After I took the hit, I held it in, within 5 seconds the walls started vibrating tremendously, and I was SUCKED out of my body hardcore and catapulted into another dimension. This *freaked* me out and I immediately exhaled, thinking OMG I smoked too much and died! lol.

I ended up being fine, but it was an intense trip. I remember thinking initially man I only need a crumb next time, lol.

My next experience I will use a much smaller dose. I am thinking it will be a better experience. As it is hard for me to even recall alot of what I experienced at this seemingly higher dose due to things occurring so fast and intensely.

I am curious as to what amount you used for the 'comfy and nice' experience?

Also how do you accurately measure out (example) 50 mg? Do you use a .000 g scale? I have come across one of these and although being slightly expensive think I will use this in the future to try to get a more accurate measurement as my .00 g scale, even though from a scientific laboratory website, is inaccurate from .01-.05, which is a huge margin for error when trying to measure out 50mg, or less.

Makes me wonder how people in general measure out an accurate dose, as it seems the .000 g scales can sometimes be rare to come by.
 
I think I will go ahead and invest in the .000 scale. Would you say the measurement is quite accurate/accurate enough to measure out small doses correctly?
 
.000 scales are available on-line and are not too expensive, search for jewellers scales.
Small doses can be measured accurately and as long as you regularly calibrate and use good batteries the measurements will be accurate. I suggest keeping a notebook of doses and how they relate to experience for future reference.
 
Seems to me like your anxiety was based on the unexpected duration of the visuals.
This is something that never really worried me (on the contrary, unless I breakthrough the trip seems too short), but when I do get anxious it helps to be in a sitting position for as long as I can. Since you will unconsciously attempt to keep your balance it makes you feel grounded.
If you're going for a breakthrough I'd recommend you lie on your bed though.
 
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