What am I afraid of?

[Cosmic Student]

I just registered today because I needed a community I can talk to about DMT. I am a lone adventure.

I have been researching and learning about the spice for many years. I first learned of the chemical around 2006ish. It wasn't until the first few months of 2013 I was able to try it myself. I was drug free at the time but I have had experienced MANY substances up to this point. Before being drug free I was a daily MJ smoker, addicted to pain pills, abused benzodiazepines, few trips on shrooms and lsd, salvia, spice, cocaine (hard & soft), meth, dxm, GHB and abused MDMA for a few years. My prime was in 1999-2005, I didn't have the internet to learn about harm reduction (not like me or my friends really cared anyway). Ok, Back to 2013, I acquired half a gm of dmt. I made the machine and followed all the steps carefully. Looking back, Im pretty sure I held the flame too close and burned it because the smoke was really harsh and no one (4 people w/ about 50mg ea) felt anything other than closed eye colors. I was disappointed and knew I would get another chance when It was time.

Now it is time but I can't get myself to do it. I have 1 gm of yellow DMT but no courage to do it. I have taken baby hits, just enough to get a shroom-like OEV. I have been waiting for so long but now I have it ready to go, I can't pull the trigger. Should I give it time to talk myself into it, or should I "man up" and take the plunge? Buy the ticket-take the ride, right?

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Sorry for the terrible grammar/format. Im glad to be apart of the community and look forward to posting my future experiences.

 

[Bdevall158]

Welcome Cosmic Student

Don't worry about the fear, everyone gets it, and for those who don't either don't dose properly or are setting themselves up for a notorious hyper-slap. DMT is a very powerful substance, can sometimes blow the hinges right of the spiritual doors you are trying to open. Instead of thinking of it as fear, try to reconstruct it into respecting the molecule. No ones rushing you either, the spice isn't gong anywhere anytime soon, just continue with your small doses and work your way up. Having a mg scale is crucial to because you can really dial in your preferred amount 1mg at a time if need be.

. Should I give it time to talk myself into it, or should I "man up" and take the plunge? Buy the ticket-take the ride, right?

Give it as much time as you need to prepare yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. However if you are feeling gung-ho one days sometime it is best to just bite the bullet and dive headfirst into the deep end, just don't go beyond 25-30mg because you may risk an overly intense experience that hard to recollect. My personal favorite way to get pumped up is listening to Terence McKenna do his rap on DMT, and like he says the only thing you have to fear is death from astonishment. :d One last note, try to bring some sort or intent or reason to journey into the experience it really helps, the more you give the more you get IMO

Safe travels :thumb_up:

 

[anrchy]

Get yourself some inactive herb and put about 30mg in and roll into a joint. Great way to ease the fears. Then dose up my friend!

 

[Praxis.]

Get yourself some inactive herb and put about 30mg in and roll into a joint. Great way to ease the fears. Then dose up my friend!

Awesome advice! This is a great way to "wade" your way into hyperspace, I find. It's definitely helped me overcome pre-flight anxiety more than once. I'd only recommend this if you're not concerned about wasting a bit of spice though, as smoking it in a joint isn't really the most efficient route.

But yeah like others have said it's completely normal to feel apprehensive and anxious before taking the big plunge. I would say it's a lot like jumping into a rushing current of cold water...it's shocking at first; just don't panic and give yourself a moment to adjust and you'll be floating downstream quite comfortably.

There's also nothing wrong with experimenting with small doses and working your way up, as previously mentioned. I think low dose experiences are still valuable and can be very healing, and doing so allows you to develop a deep relationship with the molecule at a pace you're comfortable with. The spice has a lot to offer and I find that different dosages produce wildly different experiences. I think it's good to get to know all of the little intricacies and ins and outs of what DMT has to offer before just diving in if you don't feel ready.

Only go for broke if that's what you really want to do. Don't do it because you feel like it's expected of you. You will know when you want it. If you don't get that feeling, don't do it.

Whatever you end up doing, I'm sure your journey will be rewarding in the end. Best of luck to you!

 

[Cosmic Student]

I would like to thank everyone for the replies and great advice. I like the idea of smoking a joint of inactive leaf/dmt mix. Im glad you guys are supportive of the slow/low dose thing. I had a feeling that taking baby hits and getting my toes wet with 10-15mg was "disrespectful" to the spice and once I got a heavy dose mother dmt would slap me a crossed the face for toying with her. I see now that is a silly thought. Its just my inexperience guiding my thoughts/ego.

 

[○]

The mystery awaits

 

[f1]

Just my 2cents:

If you put spice into a joint it will eventually reach that burning point that no one desires & will smell bad etc.. But there is a way! just put the spice in the end of the joint (not very end as you will inhale, but close; like middle of a roach) then as you smoke it will get more intense until it becomes intuitive to put down.

Not instructions to breakthrough and some will see as wasteful but meh; s'all good. Happy travels!

 

[3rdI]

hello Cosmic Student, welcome to the Nexus:thumb_up:

i think the reason its a bit freaky is because its as crazy as it gets in there, and while the vast majority of my experiences are sublime, i know that in there, somewhere, is the opposite of what i experience, infinite hell.

its nice to be nervous, i look at it like an offering to the madness, yeah im kinda worried but i trust that the Magic will do me proud.

I had a feeling that taking baby hits and getting my toes wet with 10-15mg was "disrespectful" to the spice and once I got a heavy dose mother dmt would slap me a crossed the face for toying with her. I see now that is a silly thought.

im glad you have come to this conclusion, it drives me bonkers when people winge on about people "disrespecting the spice" because others dont use in the same way as them. This is insane to me, as long as your being responsible then i think its fine to use it as you please.

There is only 1 way to "disrespect the spice",

:lol: :lol: :lol:

enjoy the journey:thumb_up:

 

[Cosmic Student]

That's a great idea f1, I tried it and I was surprised how strong just 1 hit was...

3rdi, it's funny you say that.. I actually almost bought one of those pipes but I decided to buy a gvg instead

 

[Bdevall158]

3rdI where's your rose at in your cute little glass greenhouse? :d just kidding just kidding

Certainly have a piece that makes you comfortable to look at/ let alone buy. I even have experience with the non glass VG which is difficult to work with but cheaper than the VGV by 1/5th about. It worked great for the sandwhich method because it kept a ceramic disc in the middle but overall more fails then success. But that's just a money saver so that's not usually ever the bet case. Just get every thing you need to make yourself comfortable for the experience, and that can be ANYTHING, even if its a year of deep thoughts alone in the woods, or a giant stuffed tigger. Remember set and setting go a long way in this :thumb_up:

 

[3rdI]

3rdi, it's funny you say that.. I actually almost bought one of those pipes but I decided to buy a gvg instead

you had a close call, a houdinian escape.

3rdI where's your rose at in your cute little glass greenhouse? :d just kidding just kidding

my friend, things of that magnitude of horror arent allowed in my glass house, and you can only throw flowers:d

 

[uz1l0v3r]

I'm in the same boat as you, Cosmic. I've had DMT in my life for five or six years, but have yet to have a breakthrough. I think that anxiety you feel is what pretty much everyone has. Personally, this whole thing about "manning up" in our society is macho BS and often leads to bad things. I would certainly advise you proceed with caution! Just take it as slowly as you comfortable. I'm finding changa easier to deal with, so if you're as nervous as I am it may be worth trying.

 

[Cosmic Student]

It is inevitable, my first breakthrough will be soon. I ordered a GVG today and that should arrive in a few days. Then the proverbial blastoff. It's funny, before I got it I was daydreaming about breaking through the first day I got a chance. I did nothing but listen to podcast and videos about DMT. The day It arrived I though "Okay, not tonight BUT this weekend." The weekend passed, weeks passed...now here I am. I have a lot of respect for it and I need to focus on what I want to get out of it. I have a few topics I need perspective on and I know the spice can help me, I just want to make sure Im ready. I know its going to be overwhelming, confusing and probably terrifying but Ill know in my heart when Im ready for that.


And it will be soon.

 

[ScientificMethod]

I express ordered my GVG and then sat on it for well over a week before using it for the first time. Then after that first experience it was another month before I did it again--not because it wasn't pleasurable, but for exactly what you're talking about; it's hard to go into something so big.

I found that the GVG is amazing if (as poster above stated) you have a miligram scale. You can get your dosage so minutely measured that there is no reason to fear. I like 20mg doses on a very regular basis. They remind me not to be so scared, but also to respect the spice.

Safe travels.

Oh! And go to Home Depot to get yourself a Burnzomatic hand torch! That with the GVG is unbelievable!

 

[Cosmic Student]

I didn't even think about going somewhere like home depot for the torch lighter. I went to a couple head shops in my area looking for a decent one but couldn't find anything but cheap plastic ones. I even bought one for 20$, got home to find out it doesn't work. I drained/refilled the butane, won't stay lit more than a second. Waste of money. I will goto home depot and look around tomorrow.

 

[3rdI]

morning, Cosmic Student



i would recommend one of these, Arc Taple Top Lighter, they are specifically designed to work on an angle which i have found alot of cheap jet lighters fail to do. I have had mine for 3 years and its still going strong.

 

[Metsä]

There is only 1 way to "disrespect the spice",

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Lol, I'm proudly "disrespecting the spice" with one of those
But seriously, there isn't really anything to be afraid of, but still I find myself every single time just holding the pipe in my hand a long time after I have calmed myself down and assured myself I'm ready for the toke. And before calming down my hands are always shaking and the heart is beating quite fast. I think this is normal but it all gets better after the vapor is inhaled. Sure there is no need to hurry with taking the plunge, but just remember that there might always be a little bit of anxiety before inhaling.

 

[null24]

Welcome to university, cosmic student! Glad to see you're taking time to get acquainted with spice. I myself took a head first plunge into the deep end and damn near drowned in a chaotic sea of insanity in the ensuing weeks, until i found this little niche of psychedelic reason here at the Entheogenic U. Wise of you to take careful steps.

Smoalking in a joint is a good way to acclimate oneself. You can modulate the high over a short period of time so as to familiarize oneself with the effects. Then, maybe, build yourself up to full breakthrough. Idk, by no means is there a fixed, tried and true method of obtaining the most from spice that it has to offer-and that you are able to absorb. There is no substitute for a full breakthrough, no other way to expose oneself to the fullness of unfolding reality-at least that we as 21st century westerners have time for, lol, it is one of the most valuable experiences as human beings that we can encounter. That being said, yes it does deserve respect and you seem to have it. Good luck on your journeys, and as always,

HAPPY TRAILS!

 

[3rdI]

Lol, I'm proudly "disrespecting the spice" with one of those

have you tried any other methods? while it is possible to use a crack pipe succesfully its still one of the poorer methods.

Ive seen lots of people on here say they are good at using a crack pipe, swear they dont burn anything and that its efficient. Then they get a decent device and its nearly always a quick u-turn. but if it works for you then crack on :dsorry

But seriously, there isn't really anything to be afraid of

this really isnt true, yes there's most likely no physical harm you can come to, but i have been to some places that are absolutely terrifying and i have had experiences that have destroyed my 30 year existential model, i found this experienced hard to deal with and it left me a freaked out little puppy for a few months.

its normally all infinite madness and good times, but sometimes it shows you that there is a reason to be scared.

 

[Metsä]

Ive seen lots of people on here say they are good at using a crack pipe, swear they dont burn anything and that its efficient. Then they get a decent device and its nearly always a quick u-turn. but if it works for you then crack on :dsorry

Haha, nice pun No, I haven't tried any other method. I have burned spice with crack pipe in the past but have mastered the technique since then and now it works like a dream. I don't find the need for any other device myself but I have to agree that learning the right technique with this kind of pipe can be difficult.

But seriously, there isn't really anything to be afraid of

this really isnt true, yes there's most likely no physical harm you can come to, but i have been to some places that are absolutely terrifying and i have had experiences that have destroyed my 30 year existential model, i found this experienced hard to deal with and it left me a freaked out little puppy for a few months.

its normally all infinite madness and good times, but sometimes it shows you that there is a reason to be scared.

What I was trying to say is, like thunder, DMT is to be respected, not to be afraid of. I know it can be really scary, and that it's a very powerful molecule. Even thunder makes a powerful sound, leave a lot of destruction behind and can potentially even kill people, there still is no reason to be afraid of it. And yes, it is totally okay to be afraid of thunder, afraid of dark, afraid of DMT and so on, but it usually only makes things worse. What is there to be gained from fear? I can be totally wrong here and I shouldn't have stated it in a way like it is a truth, as it's only my opinion.
Peace