ithappenedat21
Rising Star
I ask this so that I can later draw some conclusions.
I was born in Italy, lived there for three years, am fluent in the language. Then moved to France, lived there for three years, am somewhat fluent (there's no such thing as somewhat fluent hahah is there) in the language. Then moved to the states where things got WEIRD.
Anyways, I have always felt different, probably because I was? Probably because I went from a little french montessori school straight to snob town where most of the kids were very Americanized, not cultured, etc. Some of the kids were straight up nasty, this confused me and was out of my nature. But moreso because this is how I was born and who I was supposed to be. Connected to my home which is not solely here on Earth, remembering those things, and not being blinded by the illusion we are in. Leading a life that would be peculiar from the overall norm. It's been beautiful, it's also been a struggle.
I always wonder how different my life would have been had we stayed. Life itself would have been different, different experiences and circumstances obviously....but my mind could have been the same-ish, I wonder. This is the way it went, and it led me down THIS path.. What is this 'path'? Or these 'types' of people I speak of? Well i've tried for thirty minutes to articulate what I need to but am finding it difficult, that sucks. It feels like a curse, I go through stages of immense clarity then stages where I'm seemingly tongue-tied, it's beyond my control. I wonder what entities are deeming this upon me, just kidding..
I think there might be a tie between being "this" way, being like the 'nexians', having that 'thing' about you and your upbringing. There is a reason we are like this.. Does language tie into it? Partially maybe. I wonder exactly what else. What made us this way. It's unique and out of the norm but why us? What. Does. It. Mean. Why me?
I was reading something that I was absolutely ticked by. A specific thread, I then started going to the users who posted and began reading more about them. Some of them ticked me in a way I couldn't believe. That type of feeling where you JUST KNOW. You know your brains are similar and you're certain that shared between you two would be an undeniably beautiful bond. Digging deeper into posts, on some occasions I found similarities with the whole bilingual thing. So this is why I ask. What are you guys all about? Do you think you were born this way or something made you into getting into what you got into, and made you how you are. Pre-determined?
Maybe it's not that baffling to others but I am often surrounded by sorority girls, frat brothers, ladder climbing, judgmental, put a ring on it just for the f*k of it, money-hungry, blind sheep so encountering beings similar to what I know stirs up endless stimulation in my mind.
Specific roles vs the roles of everything. I look at some humans and go, 'they are THAT! they are exactly as they're supposed to be, couldn't really see room for cultivation' then there's others who shift constantly, changing, always in a metamorphosis. Sure it could be argued that everyone is like this, and technically we are all always changing. But it's not. It's the demeanor, the look in the eyes, some of you are so cool I can't even handle it. You really are Gods to me. You are. A human. But so many different types, it's like we're all characters and we are here as a representation of our specific cartoon but some of us get lucky and get to be what I would consider the OMG CARTOON. The one that knows, that is 'correct' (to me). that doesn't fit in, but they are right in how they are supposed to be. They aren't chasing what will get them ahead here on Earth but they chase the Everything. I am so thankful for you guys. You guys are my answers to why I am alive. I have found it. The REAL humans hahaha. You guys are far and few in between, a tiny fraction of the 7 billion. I admire every type in the world, but I am trying to get to the bottom of us. Because it is who I am. Then again it's all just crap and I create it in my head. But why? What does it mean? Why can't I live like the others do?
Perhaps if 'docs' were to 'diagnose' us, some of us would fall under the category (lolz labels) of schizoid or schizotypal or schizoaffective. Not all but some, and I know I'm able able to fall within some of those categories. Between my thoughts, my perceptions of the world, my struggle with certain personas in social situations, avoidant, blah blah blah blah. I wouldn't have it any other way. This place is exciting when you're wearing those nutty perception goggles with that certain hue and tinge to them. You sniff around and know there's so much more going on than meets the eye. Loving every second of it but whirlwinds of day to day confusion puts me in distress. Out of place. What am I supposed to do? That is how I feel every morning.
The only way I can see it though is as TRUTH. You guys are real, that type is as real as can be to me. Intelligent, DIVERSE, genuine. Even if I wasn't me and saw this and you all from an outside perspective, an E.T. perspective, I would still feel this way. I see the beauty in you guys that I cannot see in some humans that I would consider a bit more robotic. I would flock towards all of you. We are truth. We are crazy, yes, but truth. Because crazy is truth. I love this life and all it can do for me, the endless possibilities, especially the far-feteched CRAZY ones. Why must I always remain within the confinements? I was not meant to be oppressed, or restricted, I have a crazy mind and I know from it will breed exactly what I need, even though it's hell some days. Environment is crucial, I cannot be me where I am. I need to hide me. I need to. This kills me, I've hid my entire life, even to myself. Does anyone else feel that ever?
Hahaha not that I got sidetracked or anything but.
What languages do you know?
I was born in Italy, lived there for three years, am fluent in the language. Then moved to France, lived there for three years, am somewhat fluent (there's no such thing as somewhat fluent hahah is there) in the language. Then moved to the states where things got WEIRD.
Anyways, I have always felt different, probably because I was? Probably because I went from a little french montessori school straight to snob town where most of the kids were very Americanized, not cultured, etc. Some of the kids were straight up nasty, this confused me and was out of my nature. But moreso because this is how I was born and who I was supposed to be. Connected to my home which is not solely here on Earth, remembering those things, and not being blinded by the illusion we are in. Leading a life that would be peculiar from the overall norm. It's been beautiful, it's also been a struggle.
I always wonder how different my life would have been had we stayed. Life itself would have been different, different experiences and circumstances obviously....but my mind could have been the same-ish, I wonder. This is the way it went, and it led me down THIS path.. What is this 'path'? Or these 'types' of people I speak of? Well i've tried for thirty minutes to articulate what I need to but am finding it difficult, that sucks. It feels like a curse, I go through stages of immense clarity then stages where I'm seemingly tongue-tied, it's beyond my control. I wonder what entities are deeming this upon me, just kidding..
I think there might be a tie between being "this" way, being like the 'nexians', having that 'thing' about you and your upbringing. There is a reason we are like this.. Does language tie into it? Partially maybe. I wonder exactly what else. What made us this way. It's unique and out of the norm but why us? What. Does. It. Mean. Why me?
I was reading something that I was absolutely ticked by. A specific thread, I then started going to the users who posted and began reading more about them. Some of them ticked me in a way I couldn't believe. That type of feeling where you JUST KNOW. You know your brains are similar and you're certain that shared between you two would be an undeniably beautiful bond. Digging deeper into posts, on some occasions I found similarities with the whole bilingual thing. So this is why I ask. What are you guys all about? Do you think you were born this way or something made you into getting into what you got into, and made you how you are. Pre-determined?
Maybe it's not that baffling to others but I am often surrounded by sorority girls, frat brothers, ladder climbing, judgmental, put a ring on it just for the f*k of it, money-hungry, blind sheep so encountering beings similar to what I know stirs up endless stimulation in my mind.
Specific roles vs the roles of everything. I look at some humans and go, 'they are THAT! they are exactly as they're supposed to be, couldn't really see room for cultivation' then there's others who shift constantly, changing, always in a metamorphosis. Sure it could be argued that everyone is like this, and technically we are all always changing. But it's not. It's the demeanor, the look in the eyes, some of you are so cool I can't even handle it. You really are Gods to me. You are. A human. But so many different types, it's like we're all characters and we are here as a representation of our specific cartoon but some of us get lucky and get to be what I would consider the OMG CARTOON. The one that knows, that is 'correct' (to me). that doesn't fit in, but they are right in how they are supposed to be. They aren't chasing what will get them ahead here on Earth but they chase the Everything. I am so thankful for you guys. You guys are my answers to why I am alive. I have found it. The REAL humans hahaha. You guys are far and few in between, a tiny fraction of the 7 billion. I admire every type in the world, but I am trying to get to the bottom of us. Because it is who I am. Then again it's all just crap and I create it in my head. But why? What does it mean? Why can't I live like the others do?
Perhaps if 'docs' were to 'diagnose' us, some of us would fall under the category (lolz labels) of schizoid or schizotypal or schizoaffective. Not all but some, and I know I'm able able to fall within some of those categories. Between my thoughts, my perceptions of the world, my struggle with certain personas in social situations, avoidant, blah blah blah blah. I wouldn't have it any other way. This place is exciting when you're wearing those nutty perception goggles with that certain hue and tinge to them. You sniff around and know there's so much more going on than meets the eye. Loving every second of it but whirlwinds of day to day confusion puts me in distress. Out of place. What am I supposed to do? That is how I feel every morning.
The only way I can see it though is as TRUTH. You guys are real, that type is as real as can be to me. Intelligent, DIVERSE, genuine. Even if I wasn't me and saw this and you all from an outside perspective, an E.T. perspective, I would still feel this way. I see the beauty in you guys that I cannot see in some humans that I would consider a bit more robotic. I would flock towards all of you. We are truth. We are crazy, yes, but truth. Because crazy is truth. I love this life and all it can do for me, the endless possibilities, especially the far-feteched CRAZY ones. Why must I always remain within the confinements? I was not meant to be oppressed, or restricted, I have a crazy mind and I know from it will breed exactly what I need, even though it's hell some days. Environment is crucial, I cannot be me where I am. I need to hide me. I need to. This kills me, I've hid my entire life, even to myself. Does anyone else feel that ever?
Hahaha not that I got sidetracked or anything but.
What languages do you know?
It is a fascinating language though.
and yes there is a difference in asian countrys, and as twofourtwo mentions there are curriculums which teach american english and british english. These are usually taught depending on what countrys the students want to go study in or whatever suits that country, a lot of british commonwealth countrys will teach british english. You also do even get australian english courses, australian english schools etc. Not much difference at all bar certain words and pronunciations but they do exist.
I am currently studying German and should be able to get along in the intermediate level. Planning to study one moar language am not sure what though...
