I read you post few times and it is not celar to me how do you make connection of language and your identity?
Living in many different cultures I can see great differences and how the culture can even change you without you even noticing it even in mature age, and not always in positive way.
I grew up in Yugoslavia, so French was my first foreign language, then English.
First I lived in Paris, and that didn't go well for me. After a year I moved to New York, and it felt home right away.
After long time I moved to Mexico, and since I speak Spanish I was in that culture and it affected me in the wrong way, I didn't even realised it, it just shrieked me and made me different, I almost thought my consciousness was shrinking.
I live now in India, in a hippie place of Arambol, Goa, and even though it "looks"alternative it is not at all, as the choice of drugs is alcohol and pot... Also in digital,time,we,live in I am in FB groups for Arambol where we discussed the things we encounter, and was surprised how uneducated an closed minded people were, could never see that had it not been for that type of communication.
Also Arambol and Goa is Russian now, and in the line of the thread, I realised I should learn Russian, and I saw Russians as much more progressive than westerners. It is hard to know what socio-economic origin is of either group.
I don't speak Hindi but can read it, and I wanted to learn it, but dropped it since I don't like Indians, they can be very violent even outside of drinking space, and also very unpredictable.