primordium said:
I have a young daughter. There are many factors that militate against a full-disclosure policy, in my opinion.
As others have mentioned, our culture has stigmatized consumption (sacramental or otherwise), which has circumvented a more healthful framing--one that could promote responsible, perhaps religious, use. In addition, your role as a parent is also your role as an exemplar of trustworthy knowledge and conduct; discussing psychedelics can serve as an endorsement of use, thereby increasing your child's exposure to social and legal risks. Those risks may or may not outweigh foreseeable benefits.
For me and my social history, the number of people that appreciate entheogens qua entheogens is low; since my daughter is my daughter, she is likely to find greater benefit than that wider sampling--nonetheless, I believe the odds are stacked against her finding them as fruitful as I have. In other words, I am not prima facie sure that psychedelics will even produce the consequences (e.g., philosophic inquiry, moral self-appraisal, witnessed interconnectedness, etc.) in her that they have for me.
In addition, I hold a more aristocratic than democratic perspective on use (at least until our culture widely inculcates a responsible, if not reverent, management of psychedelics); that is, what to say and to whom is currently very person-relative and dependent upon circumstances. If your child is bright, has a stable psyche, is emotionally open and personally responsibile, then the discussion can be more frank. If not, I would almost assuredly be entirely tight-lipped about the matter.
Overall, I would not openly advocate use. If I spoke at all, it would be about personal use, my reasons, and the scholarship (historical--i.e., religious traditions, scientific, philosophical) surrounding the subject.
Ultimately, I live incredibly conventionally and hope my daughter will, as well (e.g., live within the fold of a prominent religion, attend college and graduate studies, gain a stimulating professional career, etc.). Those goals, if hindered by full disclosure, would necessarily keep me reserved.
This is an interesting position, Primordium. We should talk sometime (PM). As you can tell from my handle, I'm Catholic too.
I have to respectfully disagree with nearly everything you've said here, though. I have not yet been forthright with my children about my own entheogen use, but I DO NOT hide their existence from my children. I drive in the car with my son, listening to Terence McKenna talks. I have watched "The Spirit Molecule" with him sitting next to me on the couch. I discuss my encounters with my guardian angels, my visions, and other such things openly, although I have not, yet openly discussed my own use or exactly WHAT these things ARE. I can barely understand 1/2 of what TM says, so I'm sure it makes absolutely no sense to a 7 year old, although it may help to improve his vocab! I also talk with my wife about mushrooms and other things in his presence.
I very much appreciate Alyson Grey's advice on this matter, which is something like this: Treat these things the way you'd treat sex (that is of course, if you're a sex-positive individual). Answer the questions as they're asked, but don't give more info than they're ready for. But, also, don't "hide" info either. This is the approach I'm taking.
Most vitally, DON'T carry the Church's innate fears of these things into your home. Be quick to refute the Church's positions on stuff if they contradict YOUR FAMILY'S values. We are most definitely a qeer-friendly home, and I am bringing up these topics WAY before my son gets them in Religious Education. I'm going to do the same with Psychedelics. It's OK to wait, but be sure you're saying things about them
1) Before the culture does (School drug "education")
2) Before the kids start to question you (pre-teen years)
You say that discussing Psychedelics will violate your role as a parent in terms of being a carrier of what is right and moral and that the danger is that you will ENDORSE USE. Isn't that what we want? I hear in your tone a certain verification of the culture's position on these things, as if you actually do think "drugs are bad," just not for YOU, but quite possibly for your own kids. The thing you have to do, if you really care about these things, and care about your kids, is to create in them the same reverence you have. We, as a community, have to work together to come up with rites of passage, with CONTEXT for these things. In Santo Diame, kids as young as 12 are drinking ayahuasca, albeit in low doses. These are the kinds of things we need to come up with. This, however, requires some SERIOUS homework from us moms and dads.
First, if we're going to help our kids through these planes and not get lost or end up abusing these sacred medicines the way my acid-head friends in High School did, we NEED to know these spaces back and forth. Even before my son was born, I was told in a vision that he'd be a violin player and that I needed to learn it in order to help him later on This is the same kind of thing. I took a goodly many years off from hyperspace. Now I'm back, because I think these things are valuable, and I want to be able to help guide my kids through these spaces when they're ready. I can't do that if I don't know the geography of hyperspace.
Second, we need to expect the best from our kids. They're YOUR KIDS, dude. If you're smart and well-balanced, and have your shit together, they probably will too. My wife has had serious bouts of major depression in her life, and mushrooms and LSD never did her harm, even in large doses. Unless the kid's a schizophrenic or has some personality disorder, they're probably safe. Trust him/her to be ok.
Do you think the Christians in China don't tell their kids they're Christian because they're afraid of how the kids might behave about it in society? No. They RAISE THEIR KIDS CHRISTIAN and tell them how dangerous it is to be Christian because of the possible legal implications. What you are suggesting is that your spiritual/moral/psychological values are less important for your family than the values of the wider culture, with which your (our) values are at odds. We will NEVER normalize these things until we have the balls to teach our kids that they ARE normal.
Anyway, I could keep venting about this. I think about it day and night.
Teach them. Teach them. Teach them. What we have is SACRED, REAL, ALIVE, WISE, and OK. Teach them. Teach them.
