I now have two children, my son is now 9 and my daughter just turned 7. I have been thinking about this topic since the birth of my son and have a general sense of how I will deal with the topic of drug use. Like others that have commented I too feel open and honest responses to their questions are essential. Lying to them or misleading them will only negatively impact my credibility and have them doubting any information I provide if/when they figure out the truth regarding whatever I was not initially honest about.
I believe having frank discussions about drugs should occur sooner than later. Better to give them the right information myself rather than propaganda or street information from their young friends. I think I have already begun to lay the foundation for this as I already discuss a broad range of topics from the areas of spirituality, religion, psychology and sociology.
I think it will be important to start having frank discussions about the various catagories of drugs and which ones I consider to be dangerous with high potential for misuse/abuse, alcohol, tobacco, opiates, meth and cocaine being the primary substances of concern. I also believe having open discussions about addiction, escapism and how/why people can turn to drugs for the wrong reasons.
Beyond that my thoughts on discussing this subject get a little shakey. I started experimenting quite young, when I was in the 9th grade. I'm on the fense regarding if/when I'll discuss this. I'm a fatalist, I lean towards withholding this tidbit as long as possible but am leaning towards the complete truth if the question is directly asked and they are no longer young enough to jedi mind trick and redirect. Again, I feel if I lie and the truth comes out my credibility is shot and with this topic that is not acceptable.
That being said I believe I began my journey into altered states too early and for the most part for the wrong reasons and the drugs are bad perspective and demonizing of drugs sure didnt stop me or my friends. I think an open and honest dialog and the insight and wisdom of an elder, parent or not could potentially have delayed my use or perhaps at least influenced it enough for modest experimentation.
That being said the fact of the matter is the greater society is not enmeshed in the wisdom traditions and the demands, expectations and experiences of children, pre teens and teenagers are such that it is likely that early drug use is likely for the wrong reasons. I truly believe that without maturity, experience and psychological development even the substances I love and advocate the use of is likely to have a detrimental impact on the growth and development of children/teens.
I think by the time my son is 12 it will be time to start these frank discussions. I plan to talk to him at this time about not only the demon substances previously mentioned but also about the hallucinogens. I hope I can differentiate between substances of value that promote growth and spiritual/personal development from those that are for the most part pitfalls and traps with little value beyond escapism.
I think at that age of around 12 I will keep it simple and try to convince my son that while he may be curious and while some substances such as hallucinogens have great value he needs to grow and mature and develop before experimenting. He needs to develop a morale compass and strong sense of identity before experimenting. He needs to know that while these substances are not dangerous if used wisely and with proper intent, use without the wisdom and maturity of years can have negative consequences with far reaching ramifications. It's that whole "there's a time for experimentation and it's called college" cliche.
My biggest dilemma will be questions about my own use and when I started experimenting. This is going to be asked and almost assuredly will be asked as soon as the subject is explored in detail. Despite my previous comments about the need to be honest I still don't know what I will tell him. I am completely torn on this one. If I am honest I guarantee trust and can attest to the negative aspects of my early use culminating in a stint in prison for possession for the purpose of trafficking before I was 20 (thank god I live in Canada or I would likely still be in jail instead of the six months I served but that's a different story). Conversely there is a good chance he may form the opinion that aside from being caught and going to prison his father turned out fine so why not follow suite?
I truly don't know how I'll answer this question I don't think I'll know for sure till I'm asked. I will definitely be honest about my experiences I just don't know how I'll answer the "when did you start" question and also don't know whether I'll be honest about my experiences with the bad drugs and I've done em all. It's that whole do what I say not what i did dilemma. Again he might figure I turned out ok so what's the harm? God knows I never believed the stories about jonsing for crack and scanning the floor for dropped rocks and felt I could "just try it"
I do know I'll be honest about the effects of and my experiences with my beloved hallucinogens it will just be a mater of how much detail is warranted given my sons age when the discussion occurs.
I hope I have the courage of my convictions and pray I make the right decision and most of all I pray that whatever comes from these future talks my children stay safe, make their choices wisely and if they do choose to explore mind altering substances they choose the responsible safe use of hallucinogenic compounds over the other choices and experience all the mysteries of consciousness in the pursuit of growth, love and kindness.