5
Neutral, but in a good way.
I try to see the bigger picture. The bigger picture being life, this amazing experience that encompasses each and every psychedelic experience and all the other intense moments - from my worst nightmares, my greatest defeats and illnesses to my highest highs; love, bathing in the sunlight, swimming in the ocean, diving, learning...
I found DMT in times of crisis. It did not give me answers but it kept me searching for them. I find it amazing and beautiful, indescribably so. I would not want to have missed it, but that goes for many things. Life is change, change is everywhere. DMT is life changing, but so is everything else, in a certain way. More and more I think that it's not about DMT or whatever other catalyst that is used, but the openness to change, the readiness of the person to take a leap. Perhaps the epiphany comes to you when you have a terrible accident, or when you are nurturing that baby bird back to health, or when you try sky diving for the first time, or when you hold your breath for over three minutes... Perhaps you have it waiting for your toast to pop out. Or while taking DMT.
Our mind or consciousness, this sentience that creates this experience, this is what is truly amazing, and which in my book deserves a 9. I love love love all the crazy things that exist within this, but they can never hold up to the whole for me.