Why you are you?

[bill]

So, I'm really curious about what you fellow nexians would consider the reason or moment in your life that guided you to your current walk in life. (At the end of mine I also have a few questions)

So, a little about me and my past. A lot of what has shaped me into the person I am today stems from the first out of body experience I had as child. Around the time I was in sixth grade I had my first instance of sleep paralysis that ended in an out of body experience. This was really hard to understand and integrate into my world as such a young kid who had no idea about these types of things. Because I've been a nerd pretty much my entire life, the internet has always been a close friend of mine. It wasn't hard for me to use this wealth of information to my benefit and read everything I could about OBE's and the astral plane. I was raised in a somewhat conservative christian background, but I was always a doubter that resisted it most every step in the way. I just couldn't get into it even as a child. Because I had so many doubts, but was surrounded in religious life style I had to find my own middle ground as a child because I didn't want to give up the idea of spirituality all together. This out of body experience really clicked with my desire to understand the big scary world of religion and my fear that there was no existence after our physical bodies died.

To sum it up after that, I gained a keen interest in psi because of all my research in obe's which led to me researching chakras, meditation, eastern philosophy and the such . I have yet to meet anyone in my life that believes me when I say there was a time in my life I could manipulate my body's energy into a focused ball in my hands. One of my hobbies was actually trying to move these little contraptions called psi wheels. Needless to say, this was all a very important part of developing how I think because of the extensiveness of the information of the internet. The only reason I share something so crazy sounding is because I trust the nexus. Throughout high school I picked up a nasty drug habit that eventually turned into the much better life style I live today because of that one OBE. The idea here is it's pretty amazing what put you on this spiritual journey and how seemingly unrelated things come together to make your entire being and I would like to know what it was in your life that brought you here. For me, it was an OBE. So what about you? I don't guess you guys have to go into as much detail as me (I probably went into to much detail, but I was just in a sharing mood :lol: )


(I'm going to put these questions down here because I didn't want to make a separate thread for two things that are so related. I went into a little more detail than I probably had to because I wanted to explain where I stand now as far as meditations and related subjects go so you can hopefully better help me with what I'm looking for. While I haven't had quite as many OBE's as I would like after doing this around 300 nights a year for over 8 years I have gained an ability to easily reach a state where my body vibrates and rocks like a boat. But that's about where it ends for me. This is a time when I cut out all noise and slow down the chatter in my brain as much as I can. This is the closest thing I do to daily meditation. As I'm getting older I'm becoming more interested in using meditation to further my spiritual walk. There's so much information about meditation along with new age phooey that I'm not really sure where to start when looking to learn how to enter transcendental states. If any serious mediators out there read this, would you mind helping me get on the right path?

 

[Infectedstyle]

Well, i used to be isolated from the world mostly. Until i met some friends and smoked weed for the first time. I was hooked and my life was based on getting enough money to pay for the days weed. I skipped school because i didn't see the point and basically tried to amuse myself and friends. Then at about 14 someone i met on a computer game and talked to a lot introduced me to DMT and Terrence Mckenna. He said when u smoke this u enter a space and there are entities conversing with you. You can even find other people there. I was amazed but skeptical.

I listen to infected mushroom quite a lot.
Fast-forward about 3 years and after some trouble and spending a few months on a farm i found out about Pink Floyd. Naturally, when one first discovers the band my MP3 contained nothing but pink floyd music. I was absolutely convinced that this was more than just music. That i could find out the secrets of the universe by listening to Pink floyd. I realized, it's not the music that makes pink floyd but its their lifestyle. I got into lucid dreaming and reintroduced myself to psychedelics. I would spend my days browsing the internet and sucking up knowledge like a spongue. At first i was into conspiracy theories and all that. But i realized it's a waste of time to think about. I learned about astral projection and met amazing people on forums just like this. When i learned about the band Tool my life took a turning point.

Tool learned me that i'm not the only one with these crazy magically beautiful worldviews. And now my mp3 has some pink floyd songs, tool and sphongle. I started reading some T. Mckenna books. And hanging on every word he said like it was the god-spoken truth. Now i can see that he was mainly trying to propogate psychedelics. And the things he says may have substance but it's easy to take his word in the wrong context. (Partly on how he delivers it.)

Anyway, now i am studying biology , chemistry and physics. I'm actively trying to unite science with spirituality and aspire to be the change i want to see in the world. For example ; vibrations experienced in meditation and sleep paralysis that is usually accompanied with transition into very vivid and reallike dreams sounds a lot like vibrating quantum particles keeping matter in place.

I'm not that much into meditation, and chakras but i think that will change with age. Right now i'm trying to uncover the dream-like properties of this world and when i can understand it i will start to explain it to the rest of the world. I have strong feelings of empathy for religions like islam and christianity. But at the same time i'm disgusted at how gullable society is at taking all the rules and do's or dont's that are stated in books. When it is obvious that these are culturally bound and can never be the universal truth expressed.

So to answer ur question. Music and mushrooms made me who i am today.

 

[tolki]

Well this philosophical question about uniqueness of the self, are explained long time ago, try reading Socrates and Plato, also try reading some Sufi lectures they might help you. they did for me.