okay I will tell ya a little bit about it..and leave most out.
..we are both beaming on the acid, and leave the venue to get away from the crowds of dancing people and pounding music and smoke some cannabis. Outside there are lights strung up in the trees, and the city looks stunning. I love the old brick and cobblestone areas of vancouver. The acid is strong and my limbs are shaking, I feel light pulsing through me and think this is incredible. We smoke this joint and both start tripping harder and harder and M leans in and hugs me. She feels amazing and we stand there in this embrace for a long time, swaying back and forth in ecstasy. It was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced, without even becoming sexual. My eyes and closed and I feel like we are telepathically linked. This is the deepest connection I have ever felt with another human, to the point where there is not so much a me, or a her. There is only this ecstatic flowing of light, not an exchange, or even a sharing, but a mutual existence of energy. I know that everything, my life..it's all okay. Everything is going to be okay, because I am that light..we are that light. I look at M and feel so blessed for this life I want to cry...
..back at K and M's apartment I am laid out flat on the bed, with the LSD peaking so hard now I worry. I'm loosing my grasp on my sense of self and the visions are strong..very strong. I think these are some of the most beautiful visions I have ever seen on a psychedelic and easily match that of DMT in complexity. M is laying on the bed next to me and R is standing over the both of us with a large brass gong, and a number of smaller singing bowls, wind chimes and other instruments. I feel safe knowing that he consumed significantly more LSD than the both of us and can still sort of function. He is hitting this gong and got these chimes going and we are rolling back and forth moaning as the vibrations shower down around us. I look up at R and think this guy must be some kind of god. I am not sure how long this goes on for, but I I spend the entire time engulfed in a sea of visual data of indescribable detail, pulsing in rhythm with the harmonics vibrating through my body. After some time, everyone quiets down, as the sun is coming up. We close the blinds and I lay down in the bed with M and close my eyes. Everything gets still...and the visions are building. I see out of the fractals and visions, light. Clear white light filling first the gaps, and then overflowing to drown out the visions themselves. Then, there is only the light. At some point, I gain some sort of perspective again and realize there is something else there in the light..and I see, that it is me. It is my soul, standing there in the light looking back at me, and it's so beautiful. I lay there in reverent awe of what I am witnessing, before I begin to cry and over and over and over I say to myself "I am sorry..I am so sorry... I am sorry..."..sorry for everything..for my screwed up life, for being too afraid to really follow my heart causing instead suffering, for not showing up for my life in every instance..for all the heartbreak, failed relationships and lost friendships...for the hatred, for the jealousy, for the manipulation..I am sorry I messed up something so pure..for the light within which I gazed upon my own soul, was the light of my soul..the light of me. Purity. The clear light of pure being..now covered in a suit of shit I wear to the costume ball of the world.
My soul looks over at me, as if to say "what for, this is as is must be"?
..and in that instant, I know. Everything is perfect.