bardot walker
Rising Star
Dear Nexus,
i've been travelling around, following my path, things are going well. for money, sometimes i write stuff for a pretty well-known blog about psychedelics. i aim to use it as a platform to "spread the word" about this kind of stuff.
in a week's time i have a very rare opportunity - an exclusive interview a very well known practicioner of 5meodmt. this person makes some pretty far-out claims, has received a lot of media attention (and also criticism) for what he's doing. he's kind of a celebrity. he's the only guy i know of with UN approval for doing this kind of work. i'm excited to do the interview, it's a big deal for me, i want to write a really good article. i'm meeting him at a 3-day ceremony, where they offer yopo, kambo, and the toad venom. the toad venom in particular is not cheap.
the idea of healing through drugs fascinates me. i intend to probe his motivations. i understand the shaman archetype to be that of a trickster - and, with an opportunity to have a deep, recorded conversation with the guy. . . on a personal level i'd really like to know what he thinks it all means. what the toad spirit has told him. i want to somehow ask him, without offending him, why he charges so much money for his services. why he's the only guy who is qualified to do this kind of work. my understanding is that he healed his own addiction without a shaman or guide to help him, nobody shaking the rattle - and this all happened before he met with the native peoples and learned the chants and the traditional shamanic techniques he claims to know. so if he didn't need a shaman, then why does he need to be the guy that provides the experience and does the shaking? the guy has written a book, which i had a copy of but left it in a city i travelled through. didn't get a chance to read the thing. so i'm going in blind. the thoughts i've written in this paragraph might sound like my intention is to "expose" or defame him or something. that's not my intention at all. i have no ill will towards any human i just want to understand his motivations, his intentions, to learn more about this shamanism thing and then share my knowledge in the article. it's a tricky, wobbly line to walk between yin and yang.
on my travels i've met some very wise people who have told me to watch out, steer clear of anybody claiming to be a shaman, go interview him but don't take the medicine, the guy will get in your head, impair your judgment.
i had an opportunity, a couple of months ago, to take ayahuasca with a woman claiming to have healed hundreds using the medicine. it was all booked. i was excited. some weeks before the ceremony, i had a dream that i brewed the ayahuasca myself and took it alone. i decided to cancel the appointment and wait. i wasn't ready. and when i do decide to take the brew i don't want to put myself in the hands of a stranger. specially not a european. it doesn't feel right. i've had so many people tell me in the last few months. the self is the only guide you need. it's a leap of faith. trust yourself.
of course i'm skeptical. i never met anybody claiming to be a shaman before there is a duality within me. part of me wants to follow the advice of those who i've already met - let go, completely submit myself to one who a lot of people would say is a very powerful being. god knows i need healing. maybe it'll be really good for me. he's done this with thousands of people. he's UN approved. . . that has to count or something.
and i'm so curious. an opportunity to smoke real wild-harvested bufo toad venom isn't something that comes up a lot. i guess it'll probably make the article a lot more interesting, too. i want to live my life as a work of art - and i feel i shouldn't "cop out" on this one. i'm not afraid, not even a little bit. just distrustful of the "shaman". and i feel guilty about that because i have no reason not to trust him. his intentions seem very pure.
what do you think, nexus? have any of you met this guy, have you read his book, did anything come up while reading that that made you think?
do you think i should take the medicine?
can you think of any good questions to ask him, anything that would be interesting to talk about in our conversation?
thanks for reading. i'm very excited to meet this dude. i've come a long way to get to this point and i want to make this whole thing as worthwhile as possible - write a really thought provoking article that actually contributes something meaningful to the global conversation about this stuff.
i've been travelling around, following my path, things are going well. for money, sometimes i write stuff for a pretty well-known blog about psychedelics. i aim to use it as a platform to "spread the word" about this kind of stuff.
in a week's time i have a very rare opportunity - an exclusive interview a very well known practicioner of 5meodmt. this person makes some pretty far-out claims, has received a lot of media attention (and also criticism) for what he's doing. he's kind of a celebrity. he's the only guy i know of with UN approval for doing this kind of work. i'm excited to do the interview, it's a big deal for me, i want to write a really good article. i'm meeting him at a 3-day ceremony, where they offer yopo, kambo, and the toad venom. the toad venom in particular is not cheap.
the idea of healing through drugs fascinates me. i intend to probe his motivations. i understand the shaman archetype to be that of a trickster - and, with an opportunity to have a deep, recorded conversation with the guy. . . on a personal level i'd really like to know what he thinks it all means. what the toad spirit has told him. i want to somehow ask him, without offending him, why he charges so much money for his services. why he's the only guy who is qualified to do this kind of work. my understanding is that he healed his own addiction without a shaman or guide to help him, nobody shaking the rattle - and this all happened before he met with the native peoples and learned the chants and the traditional shamanic techniques he claims to know. so if he didn't need a shaman, then why does he need to be the guy that provides the experience and does the shaking? the guy has written a book, which i had a copy of but left it in a city i travelled through. didn't get a chance to read the thing. so i'm going in blind. the thoughts i've written in this paragraph might sound like my intention is to "expose" or defame him or something. that's not my intention at all. i have no ill will towards any human i just want to understand his motivations, his intentions, to learn more about this shamanism thing and then share my knowledge in the article. it's a tricky, wobbly line to walk between yin and yang.
on my travels i've met some very wise people who have told me to watch out, steer clear of anybody claiming to be a shaman, go interview him but don't take the medicine, the guy will get in your head, impair your judgment.
i had an opportunity, a couple of months ago, to take ayahuasca with a woman claiming to have healed hundreds using the medicine. it was all booked. i was excited. some weeks before the ceremony, i had a dream that i brewed the ayahuasca myself and took it alone. i decided to cancel the appointment and wait. i wasn't ready. and when i do decide to take the brew i don't want to put myself in the hands of a stranger. specially not a european. it doesn't feel right. i've had so many people tell me in the last few months. the self is the only guide you need. it's a leap of faith. trust yourself.
of course i'm skeptical. i never met anybody claiming to be a shaman before there is a duality within me. part of me wants to follow the advice of those who i've already met - let go, completely submit myself to one who a lot of people would say is a very powerful being. god knows i need healing. maybe it'll be really good for me. he's done this with thousands of people. he's UN approved. . . that has to count or something.
and i'm so curious. an opportunity to smoke real wild-harvested bufo toad venom isn't something that comes up a lot. i guess it'll probably make the article a lot more interesting, too. i want to live my life as a work of art - and i feel i shouldn't "cop out" on this one. i'm not afraid, not even a little bit. just distrustful of the "shaman". and i feel guilty about that because i have no reason not to trust him. his intentions seem very pure.
what do you think, nexus? have any of you met this guy, have you read his book, did anything come up while reading that that made you think?
do you think i should take the medicine?
can you think of any good questions to ask him, anything that would be interesting to talk about in our conversation?
thanks for reading. i'm very excited to meet this dude. i've come a long way to get to this point and i want to make this whole thing as worthwhile as possible - write a really thought provoking article that actually contributes something meaningful to the global conversation about this stuff.
