A written report of my experiences

[MorningWoods]

Hey guys. I'm just creating this thread to have a place to put up my written reports of my experiences in the aether. I've smoked it 6 times now, but only 3 were real breakthroughs so I only write about those.

Without further ado, here is the first one.


The Devil

I don't know how to start this one off. I was at my friend's house sitting in his room, having a couple beers and anxiously awaiting the inevitable plunge. He packed the bowl for me and took the bong when I was finished. I was sitting on his bed holding the bong in my hands, nervous, anticipating what was coming. No amount of preparation could have prepared me for this.. foray on my soul.

He passed me my Heinekin and I took a big swig trying to calm my wild nerves. I decided this was as ready as I was ever going to be so I brought the bong to my lips. My friend lit the bowl as I inhaled; no going back now. This time there was much less cannabis in the bowl so it was easier to hold the smoke in my lungs. I gasped getting the smoke as deep as I could into my body, and as soon as I gasped I fell back onto his bed. The world around me was getting torn apart. Everything was gold, then went into unpredictable kaleidoscopes. Everything was made up of triangles which were flashing yellow, lime and green. I was floating in a completely different world. Red spires shot out of the floor, it was exactly like something that Alex Grey would draw. Behind one of the spires came out an eye. My first thought was it was the third eye, but now I'm not sure anymore.

I opened my eyes and looked to the roof, and in the rafters of the ceiling was The Wall. I don't know how to explain it other than it was like a jail cell door with black figures behind it, reaching at me. It had an ominous aura about it, it was alive. It started flying around the room, and it was telling me to come to it. It told me that I could be so much more powerful if I just took the plunge to its side. It was so easy, the only thing I had to sacrifice was my soul. I could be one of the most powerful beings in the world. It was then that I realized that The Wall was talking to me about the physical realm and not the DMT realm. If I sacrificed my morals, I could be so much stronger.

My clothes floating off of me. I was face to face with The Wall, completely naked and exposed but I held my head high. It kept trying to seduce me with its promises of power and riches, but I refused. I tried to stay as far away from it as I could. My soul is the only thing I truly have and I let it know I would not crucify it. The world quaked with The Wall's anger. The room started shaking worse than an earthquake and black tentacles that I can only decribe as malice shot towards me, trying to pull me towards it. Faces started pushing their way through the walls, shooting water at me. The Wall was trying to break my spirit, but I refused still. I was watching my body from the third person, laying down, floating face to face with this terrifying object that should not be alive. It went into a blind rage and my body was vaporized, it broke into smoke and was blown away by the breeze. That body was now gone.

I was watching in disbelief as everything went away. I started falling, everything around me was turning black, I was falling into the black abyss below me.

In the abyss I somehow had a body again. As if The Wall was only trying to scare me with it's tactics. I was trying to make sense of everything when something hooked inside my mouth and jerked me to the side. There was a fucking hook in my mouth. I completely lost control of my body. I couldn't move anything. Whatever had me hooked, I was now its puppet. It started stretching my skin, manipulating my jaw. It reached into the tips of my jaw and started pulling them apart as my body was screaming but there was nothing I could do. This was a malevolent being full of pure malice and hatred and it was inside my chest, controlling me, toying with me. The black abyss suddenly turned into a deep crimson pit. The highway to Hell. All around me was suffering, other beings that fell into the clutches of this evil, now locked away being tortured. The Evil turned my head to the side and showed me a floating picture off in the distance of what was happening outside of this realm. It showed me my friend's room, it showed me what was going on around me, my body lying down on the bed, another friend sitting on the couch beside me, and my original friend sitting on his computer chair. Even though my eyes were closed, I could see everything around me.

The Evil let me out of its clutches. It gave me control of myself again as he left my body. I was laying on the bed once again and I thought that the ordeal was over, but he wasn't done just yet. He appeared beside me. Just a face, pure red, like a feudal samurai mask floating beside my left ear. He was letting me know that he wasn't gone just yet and he was exhaling on my cheek. I could feel his hot eupneic breathing, I could fucking smell it. He was letting me know that he could go where ever he wanted. He was not bound to just the DMT realm. I sat there frozen, unsure of everything, scared of his presence. I finally got the courage to fight this devil and it took my whole mind, body and spirit to battle him. This was the first time I've ever felt Chakra flowing through my veins, I was quaking with intensity as I pushed him away, my face contorting with effort, facial muscles completely tensed while I forced him away. I wanted nothing to do with this demon and I made sure I let him know that. I don't know if it was my effort that pushed him away or if he just withdrew at his own leisure, but that was when he took one long last exhale on my cheek and then he was gone. The tribulation was over.

I sat up, shell shocked from what happened. I wasn't able to talk about it at first. It took me about an hour before I regained myself. I can still feel and smell his breath on my face, even as I sit here typing this a day and a half after it happened.

 

[MorningWoods]

Here is entry 2.

The Engineer

I packed Hades once again with the white crystalline in the bowl covered with a small amount of cannabis. I was reclined in the passenger seat with Patryk beside me in the driver’s holding Hades and the lighter. I went into a meditative state and cleared my mind for five minutes before diving headfirst into the ether.

By the time Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones was finished playing my mind was blank and I was ready. I methodically sat up, turned the music off, grabbed the bong and lit the bowl, breathing in the smoke. It was already starting to work within half a second of taking the first inhale. My head started buzzing, things sounded a little different, my vision started distorting. I held the smoke in as long as I could, taking as many gasps as my lungs would allow, getting the smoke as deep into my lungs as possible. After I exhaled, I repeated this process twice more. I was already getting ripped out of this world. I was being peeled away. As if someone grabbed my consciousness and was removing it from my body. Patryk tried giving me one more hit as I was spiraling out of control, but ended up spilling bong water all over my chest, completely soaking me. Everything above the dashboard turned into black/white kaleidoscopes and yellow/brown below. That was the last memory I had before my body seized up and I was completely ripped out into the æther realm.

I was floating through a giant room, the walls made of yellow, green, orange and shades of colour I have never seen before. The room, nay the colosseum started changing shape, slowly becoming a massive egg with me in the centre. My thoughts were still whole. I realized that I was in this egg and my mind immediately started processing that and I wondered why that could be. What was the DMT trying to show me? Is this a piece of myself manifesting or is this a foreign concept envincing itself to me? These thoughts were shooting through my head when this colossal male walked through the wall and into the centre of the egg with me. I could sense that this being was so far beyond what humans were capable of, he looked mostly human on the outside but I immediately knew that he was incredibly superior in every way than I. I was in the presence of a god. If you have ever seen Prometheus, He looked like an Engineer, except fivefold as tall, He must have stood 40-50 feet. He looked down at me with his giant eyes and scowled. He immediately knew that my ego was inflated, I could see it in his eyes. My body, which was floating horizontally, started getting rained on, droplets littering my body. I looked down and only then did I realize that I was naked. All my clothes had disappeared. The image I put on for society completely wiped away. It was just me, floating, feeling the cold sensation of thousands of water droplets splashing on my entire body. I looked back up at Him and realized that he was pissing on me. The cool sensation of the droplets immediately felt hot and uncomfortable as he continued to urinate on my body. After what seemed like an eon, the degradation had finally ceased. He looked down at me with pity in his eyes. He didn't want to degrade me but he felt he had no choice. Looking back now I've realized that I've been given many hints during trips that my ego was inflated, and He didn't want me to forget this time.

He started shrinking to a size more appropriate to be able to communicate with me, all while floating in the egg. He brought me close to his now 9 foot tall frame and started giving me his knowledge of mankind and his wisdom of everything in this universe. It felt as if the lesson went on for hours, hours of pushing this knowledge past my cerebral cortex and into my brain. He gave me the last bit of knowledge that he could fit in and then floated upwards, changing forms into some sort of four dimensional prism and sat there front and centre, slowly changing shapes. The egg shattered. Shards flying in every direction and beyond it were halls of the most glorious red I have ever seen and something similar to gold, but shinier and more amazing. Fireworks were exploding in magnificent fashion everywhere that I looked. The Prism and I were flying down the hallway, exciting colours soaring by and splashing everywhere. I’ve never felt such amazement in my life. It was the most beautiful wonder I have ever witnessed and went on for what felt like hours upon hours.

Eventually, The Prism elongated into a long taut rope. All the fireworks slowed down as we came to a stop in the hallway. The Rope went loose and formed into a giant knot, the same knot you use to tighten your shoes while you tie them up. Abruptly the knot tightened and I concurrently realized that I no longer remembered the knowledge that He showed me. I had forgotten all of it. I desperately clawed, trying to get it back. I needed to have it. I must have it.. My soul dropped and I realized that it was gone forever. He had no body, but his consciousness was in front of me, teasing me that I had forgotten it all. All That knowledge was never meant for mortal men like me. The bright colours faded, running down the walls, dripping off the roof. The world was collapsing, and I found myself sitting back in my car seat.

When I got back inside I wrote a full page on what happened in the trip. The following being the final paragraph I wrote before my brain completely turned to mush.

“It showed me I am still entrapped in delusion, and still far away from the cliché ‘enlightenment’. I am as a complete person, too confident and ego driven. I am at the extremely low spectrum of what they are capable of. Mind trying to forget what happened. These super beings showed me I am not as ‘pure’ as I can be. Brain working at an extremely decelerated pace. Animalistic instinct to eat kicking in. The fuck? LIFE IS BUT A DREAM”


Thanks for reading

I haven't finished my last entry but I am working on it right now.

 

[ymer]

I read both accounts and both could fit in the "bad" experiences but you seem very calm about it.

Tell me, how do you feel after those experiences?

 

[MorningWoods]

I'm a believer that there isn't such thing as a 'bad' trip per se, but instead a difficult trip. It showed me that I have flaws, and I can address those flaws.

I am quite the calm individual. I felt very shook up after the first one, but the second one was enjoyable. I took them more as a hint that I need to change something in my way of thinking. I pondered it for a long time, thinking about what it could be that is giving off this negativity, but was coming up on dead ends. I was more or less lost. And to address the destruction of my being, I'm kind of used to seeing my body being destroyed. It's happened on LSD, psilocybin and in my dreams, but it is still very sudden and hard on DMT. It shocked me.

I think I may have figured out what was wrong with my preparation. I think I put too much pressure on myself when I do DMT. I expected myself to take some wisdom of some sort from the trips. I expect that it will show me some revelation that will ultimately change my life. I actively searched for that in my first two experiences. On my latest experience, I let all of that go and just went with the flow. This one was much more enjoyable than the other two. Although it took a weird turn near the end, it was absolutely a very positive experience. I'm writing it right now.

 

[MorningWoods]

I placed my lips inside the mouth of Hades. His cold lifeless embrace against my warm skin juxtaposed how much my realities were going to change within the next minute. I looked at my surroundings one last time. I was sitting behind a strip mall in a friend's car. The area was deserted, and we were parked in the darkest corner facing a wall. All the lights were out and it was almost completely pitch black. The only light came from street lamps which were separated from us by a wall. I closed my eyes and brought Hades back to my lips up once more. The bowl was already packed, waiting for me to spark it to life.

I exhaled until my lungs were empty and screaming to be filled, lit the bowl while breathing in slowly, trying to get as large of a hit as I could. By the time I inhaled the first hit, my reality was already shifting. It felt as if my body was sinking, but my consciousness was being ripped up. I held the smoke as long as my body would allow before coughing it all up. I burped up a large cloud of smoke and immediately went for another hit. I felt as if I was moving at the speed of sound and only accelerating by the second. By the time I let go of the third hit I was almost completely gone. My eyes were open but the world that was there 30 seconds ago was completely gone. I was ascending into a world of blue fractal chrysanthemums. Millions of them, intricately interwoven together and shifting constantly. By now, I was moving at the speed of light, flying through this living blue universe.

The chrysanthemums slowly started breaking apart, and I could see a pyramid, infinitely larger than any pyramid I've ever seen before. It reached from the ground, deep into the void of space. Some parts of the pyramid were completely transparent, as if there was nothing there. Whole parts of the pyramid seemed to be floating above the rest, suspended in the air by absolutely nothing. I could make out layers of the pyramid, planes of wonders. I could see what was happening inside of this prodigiously giant construct. I flew around the pyramid several times, slowly descending into an arena at the very base of the pyramid. The walls of the stone Colosseum were giant, reaching fifty feet into the air around me. I looked up and saw an obelisk shooting a yellowish-gold beam of light that I could feel, the light sent a frequency through the air, making my bones shiver. It shot all around the arena, hitting these other forms that were in there with me. I hadn't noticed these glowing green men until they started getting consumed by the light. Dematerializing them, leaving nothing behind except the ground on which they stood just seconds ago. One after the other they were getting hit and disappearing, I didn't know where they were going, I had no idea and I wasn't scared. I looked up and saw the bright, odd coloured brick walls of the great pyramid that stretched deep into the universe above. The yellow obelisk leaning over the arena and blasts of golden light rippling through the air, touching another entity and deconstructing them, cell by cell, until nothing was left.

I observed the obelisk closely, trying to reason what it could be. There was an incredibly bright glint at the tip of the spire that was not there a second ago, shining brighter than a thousand suns. I stood mesmerized by this light, unable to move, completely frozen in space. There was a powerful blast and I was getting swallowed by the golden light. I looked down and my feet were deconstructing like pixels breaking apart from the rest, scattering everywhere. Within a second, up to my knees were gone. Broken apart by this light. I looked towards my hands and to my surprise my arms were completely gone. I was just a torso with a head. My vision went completely white, a purer white than I have ever seen before. Completely calm and relaxing, I was half expecting a dark figure to walk through the light, but it never happened.

My vision flashed back in an instant. I looked around and I’m in a large metallic room. I'm standing on what seemed to be a transporter, similar to the one in Star Trek, just infinitely more advanced. There’s a conveyor belt running along the four walls of the room. A long line of the glowing green men standing on the belt, completely upright, their posture impeccable, being led around the room. The conveyor belt is leading them around the room, towards a doorway radiating with white light. One by one, the green men disappear into the doorway, never to be seen again.

I get on the conveyor belt and stood as tall as I can on it, trying to impersonate the green men, slowly moving along the belt in unison with them. Slowly moving towards the radiant door. When I reached it and finally went through, I was suddenly in a bright colourful world. Beautiful green grass covered the ground for as far as my eyes could see. There were trees everywhere but instead of leaves, some were giant fuchsia, yellow and red lollipops, while others were made of cotton candy. I stepped off the belt and chunks of the bright pink cotton candy trees were flying off and forming a mini tornado. From the twister, emerged a long fluffy flying caterpillar that started swimming through the air towards me. It brushed up against my body, tickling me, making me laugh with joy. Wrapping around me, the caterpillar was so soft and warm, wiping away any concern that I had. It was the softest thing I've ever felt, it was like a mini piece of heaven. A sanctuary. The only thing left was the incredible bliss that the caterpillar left me with as he broke apart into little pieces and floated away with the gentle breeze.

Unaware of what was unfolding around me, I glanced around and noticed a gingerbread house about 20 feet away from me. Windows made of pink and white mint candies, strings of candy making up the outline of the door, holding the whole house together was copious amounts of icing. Small candies stuffed into the icing to decorate the it, making it truly look like a traditional gingerbread house.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a robot floating towards me. She was about 2 feet off the ground and lightly tilted in my direction, moving quickly and silently. There was no exhaust, no rockets, no projectors or propellers making her float, she just was. The robot had a robust, diamond shaped body without any legs and with long skinny arms with pincers. Silently moving, soft, human-like eyes trained on me. She had a consciousness and a soul. I could see that this robot could feel emotions just by looking into her eyes. She halts just before me, her pincers smooth out my hair and my body without saying a word. She is grooming me for something, what it is, I have no idea. Once she is done, she gives me a wide robotic smile and ushers me towards the house made of candy. I open the door and on the other side is the void of outer space. I walk through and I am suddenly near the peak of the pyramid. Small white lights speckle the emptiness of the universe around me. The stars were bright, but too distant to completely light up the vacuum I'm in. The pathway in front of me wrapped around the peak of the pyramid, a nanometer in thickness, it is still rock solid and unmoving. At the very peak of the pyramid, there was a floating white sphere of light. Far away from my current position, but I knew I had to get to it and there was only one way to do that. I start walking along the brick path which leads several times around the pyramid, slowly ascending in a spiral formation towards the peak. I look around the universe, basking in all of it's beauty and glory. I couldn't even comprehend how something so beautiful and magnificent is so close, yet so far from us. As I neared the peak, everything got even clearer. The unmasked beauty of distant, yet visible galaxies masked my surroundings from every direction. I got close to the white glinting sphere floating five feet above the ground, slowly bobbing up and down. It was right in front of me now, a foot and a half in diameter, small white flames erupting out of the sides of it. A miniature sun, smaller than my chest, giving off a warm glow of heat. I slowly reached out to touch it with my right hand, pausing hesitantly for a moment before I made contact.

Once my fingers made contact, I felt a warmth moving down my hand, through my arm and into my whole body. The warmth moving with my blood, circulating my body with each heartbeat. The sun was getting larger and larger with each passing millisecond. Soon it was as large as me, and only getting bigger. It swallowed my body whole and then exploded in a supernova. Sending a shock wave of white fire in every direction. A black hole formed where the sun had gone into a supernova, sucking me into it with incredible force. My body stretched into a spaghetti noodle, I was flying through a pit that not even light could escape, let alone my body.

I found myself on the other side of the black hole. In a large dark, wet cave. I could hear the soft sounds of a small waterfall somewhere nearby. I looked around quizzically, trying to puzzle out why I was here. My eyes fell upon a green witch when she emerged from the darkness, standing thirty feet tall she was no stranger to the art of intimidation. A long pointed nose sticking out of her face with a brown mole on her right cheekbone with 3 hairs growing from it. Her long dark fingers extending from her potato sack robe, she walked towards me, menacingly at first, but with each step more compassionately. I could tell that there was no anger in the heart of hers, despite what my instincts told me.

She opened her mouth and with a rough voice stated "Everybody is just a soul. We are not the body we inhabit, we are not the ego that we developed over the years of living in our flesh vehicle."

Her voice started changing. It started sounding less raspy and forced, becoming more elegant and divine with each passing word.

"We, each and every single one of us, are simply an aura within the vehicle. Whether the person is horribly disfigured or mesmerizingly beautiful, they are not their body, and you need to treat everyone as such, because deep down, we all are beautiful. More beautiful than the human body can ever show."

With that said, she gently reached over and slowly started pulling apart my body. Her fingers moving quickly and precisely, she slowly disrobed my body from my soul. It was not painful, in fact it was liberating and refreshing. I felt completely free, not bound by the limits of this body. I could see everything as it was without any preconceived notion. I was simply a perception experiencing this miracle of life. I had, for but a moment, experienced Nirvana in it's truest form.

The Witch shed her ugly form, and under all the calloused green skin was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. Completely naked, her skin a soft pink, yet radiating a light blue, long blonde hair draped down her back to the top of her bum, and slivers of hair covering the nipples on her perfectly formed, large breasts. She smiled and whispered goodbye as I slipped away out of the cavern and back into my body.

I opened my eyes and I was back in my body. Like none of what I experienced had even taken place. My three friends sitting silently, patiently waiting for my return. I asked how long I was gone for, to which they replied "Ten minutes".

 

[Looking_for_light]

Absolutely amazing posts. Amazing you could remember with such detail all the things you were experiencing. I'm just in awe. Many, many thanks. Perhaps the best trip reports I've ever read, and the insight you received is really blessed. Give me strength to keep trying to break through.

 

[MorningWoods]

Not a problem my friend. That is why I write them

It took me 4 tries for me to finally achieve a breakthrough experience. I'll tell you the way that works for me when I smoke N,N-DMT.

I get a good ash bed at the bottom of my bong, normally I have 2-3 friends with me and we smoke 2 decently sized bowls out of it, packing down the ash once each bowl is completed. When I have a good thick ash bed, I place the DMT on top. Normally 40mg, but I have done 80 before (The Devil is written about my experience with 80mg). On top of the DMT I put a very small amount of ground up cannabis; just enough to almost fully cover the DMT. If you put too much cannabis in the bowl, you won't be able to hold in the smoke, getting a less effective hit. On top of the cannabis, I put another screen, bent in exactly the same fashion as the screen at the bottom of the bowl (they should be able to fit next to each other no problem). Use a single lighter to light the bowl, taking as large of a first hit as you can possibly muster and hold it. This is the important part. Once you are holding all the smoke in your lungs, try taking a few gasps, like you're surprised. It will bring the smoke deeper into your lungs. It doesn't matter if they are tiny gasps, they will work. Keep trying to hold the smoke. Exhale and repeat 2 more times.

The above is how I personally smoke DMT and I do not claim it as the proper way. It works for me, so I thought I would share. Good luck my friend.

And to get to the part where I remember so much. When I smoke it, I have my friends sit there with my phone, voice recorder pulled up, ready for me when I finally come back from the aether as well as a note pad and pen in front of me.

When I come back, I try to recall as much as I can vocally, and if I get to a spot where I can't put it into words, I write about it. Normally by the end I have 20 minutes of audio and somewhere between half a page to a full page written.

For the next few days I listen to the audio. Sometimes 5 times a day. If I remember something else from the experience, I write it down.

It normally takes about a 7-10 days for me to be able to write a comprehensive and in depth report of my experience.

 

[Looking_for_light]

Thanks for the reply. How long does it take before you feel fully re-integrated back to reality? I found the last time I vaped DMT (only the second time) it took me a full day to feel as though I had both feet on the ground, so to speak, and I had nowhere near a breakthrough experience. far from it, though I know if I adopt your method I'll get there.

If you don't mind me asking, how did the information you were imparted in the last trip you write about change things in the here and now for you? Has it impacted how you find yourself going about your daily life?

Once again, many thanks, brother.

 

[moniker]

Hello MW.

I don't meant to sound overly critical as I thought your experience reports were nicely written with some solid descriptions.
The main question on my mind after reading about your adventures is.....
What have these experiences taught you?

To be quite honest the impression that I am getting is that you are just sort of using hyperspace for some kind of thrill seeking mission and not necessarily attempting to better yourself in anyway through these experiences.

 

[MorningWoods]

Completely understandable my friend, as I wrote the trips solely for the purpose of entertainment/testing myself as a writer. I wanted something that I could go back and read, in turn, being transported back into the memory of the DMT universe. If I were to write out in explicit detail how my experiences with DMT has helped and shaped me to who I am today, it would be twice as long as any of my stories. It was not an immediate change either, it was a more gradual change over the few months after doing DMT, it took a lot of meditation to finally understand it with unclouded eyes.

It was not until recently that I realized that the Devil was myself. My conscious thoughts were the manifestation of The Devil, or in Buddhist terms, Mara, who is the ego. I was in spiritual warfare before and after my first two breakthrough experiences, struggling with my over extended ego. Caught in the illusion that Enlightenment was an end goal, that it was the equivalent of being at the top of a mountain. I was dissuaded from the reality of it by my ego. My views of the whole thing were skewed; the path I was following lead right to the edge of a cliff.

I did not realize that this was the message at the time, and continued on with my life, trying to make sense of it, but failing. I still had not realized it when I did DMT the second time. This time around, the entities took a more direct approach to telling me the message, leaving all the metaphors from the first trip behind, but I was still lost. So trapped in my illusion that I could not make sense of what was told to me.

I still did not have this revelation until after I wrote The Pyramid. About a week ago I wrote this piece on illusions of the world and more importantly, of self.

Mara is the Buddhist form of the Devil. He is the ego. The ego is easily shapeable, malleable, moldable. He is the greatest deceiver. He makes men powerful, and then crushes them like nothing. He disguises himself as your own thoughts. If you are thinking of this post as too 'spiritual' or whatever, then Mara is doing the thinking for you. Read this without any preconceived notion, and relieve yourself from Mara for a short while.

----------

Once you realize you are in a state of illusion, you are able to remove yourself from that illusion. Before, when I first got into philosophy and free thinking, I had realizations weekly, if not daily. The illusions were easy to separate at first. It was like night and day.

I will use rigorous religious beliefs as an example of the first state of illusion. Freeing yourself from these ideologies, you realize that the whole thing is a sham. Religion, although it does some good, is mainly bad. It suffocates your free thinking, putting you in a ritualistic state, believing that your problems will be solved by silently whispering prayers. The term "I am a God fearing man" proves this illusion. Why should I fear a man who is infinitely powerful and infinitely wise. If he were infinitely wise, he would be able to see the world through my perspective and act accordingly. So why should I fear him?

Atheists have freed themselves from this illusion, but many, in turn have locked themselves even further into a second state of illusion. There is more to this world than Gods and Deities, and many atheists believe that once there is no god, then nothing matters in the long run. We are just humans, one day you will be dead and that is the end. Nothing more, nothing less. Some atheists have decided that 'if you can't sense it, it isn't real' which is a really fucking strange point of view. That right there is atheists getting trapped further in the second state of illusion, believing that the answers they received outside of theism is the whole and only truth.

But I refused that as an answer. I believed there was still something more to this world than what our 5 main senses could tell us. While on psilocybin, I realized that I had a connection with my 5 lifelong friends. It was a mental connection, but it felt physical. Like an invisible ribbon of energy connecting us. I still have no idea what that was, but it was very real, all my friends said they felt the exact same thing. Which brings me to my next point, we are capable of many things. We are all powerful in a certain sense. We have the power to change the world for good or for bad, but in a subjective point of view. If you are a realist, you see the world in neither an optimistic nor pessimistic point of view. You see the world as it actually is, you just equip your sail for whatever wind comes. And if you are ready for anything, the world didn't actually change, just your mind set changed, but that means the world.

To objectively (I won't get into the falsehood of objectivity) change the world, you need many people to think as one. To consolidate the ideas of thousands, and change the world for millions. (Although the idea of changing the world in a positive manner is completely subjective. A perfect world envisioned by Buddha is different than a perfect world through the eyes of Dick Cheney, but lets not get into that now.)

To get back to Mara, with each illusion you strip away, Mara gets stronger. It doesn't matter if you do it yourself or you study under a great teacher, Mara will tell you that you are great for making it this far and you should congratulate yourself. Not many people are able to truly see through the many layers of society and social constructs. Mara will tell you that you should look down upon those who cannot climb as high as you. Mara may tell you that you are not done yet. You are capable of so much more if you actively try to become better.

Personally, I listened to Mara, but mistook him as my own thought. I can see now that my thoughts were originally his. For a while I believed that everybody should study philosophy just for the sake of being open minded, free thinking and challenging the norms.

After months of thinking like this, it had leaked into all other areas of my thinking. The corruption of that one thought, corrupted others who were similar in nature. Only then had I finally realized where this thought came from. I realized it was not my own, so I left it. Now I believe if you want to study philosophy, you most definitely should. There is an incredible amount to learn, and after studying it for a while, you are able to come up with your own conclusions and ideas as well. But if you do not wish to study it, then you will not pay attention to the lessons, in turn, taking nothing from the class. The blue pill is much easier to swallow and free thinking is hard to simply teach. First, you must be willing to learn.

The more layers of illusion you peel away, the stronger Mara gets. He is harder to differentiate from yourself. I realized this because today I found out Mara is yourself. He is you. He is exactly what YOU think you are. You and I are nothing but a perception. A consciousness with senses that can see, feel, hear, smell, taste the world around us. Mara resides in your head as your emotional memories. He is the anger you feel about someone who has wronged you in the past. He is the one saying "You are the better person, walk away". He resides in your actions. He is YOU. To defeat Mara, you must defeat yourself.

Before I did DMT, I was stuck at the part where I was listening to Mara. I was sort of pushing my ideologies onto those around me. After DMT, I realized that my ideologies only apply to myself. I was not only hindering those around me, I was suppressing myself.

I left a lot of things out, but did a quick summary of how it has changed my life. I hope this helps, my friend.

 

[moniker]

Good to know you did in fact get something out of your experiences.

I'm not sure I really agree with the idea that "mara" is the same as the devil or the ego, although I do accept that they are closely related.
"The Devil" is considered to be the lord of all evil by monotheistic religion where as from what I have read "mara" seems to be a lesser demon. I also tend to think that "fearing god" is something that is supposed to be done out of respect and humbleness not out of submissiveness or fear of punishment.

http://buddhism.about.com/od/iconsofbuddhism/a/mara.htm9

What name you give an adversary it is of little importance in my opinion. How you respond to what it inflicts on you is the real test.

 

[MorningWoods]

Doing DMT is undoubtedly one of the best decisions I've ever made. I just didn't write about it because each step I've taken, I've done one at a time. If I tried to sum up where I am today, it would seem very complicated, but that is only because I would be compressing 1000s of revelations and steps I've taken into several paragraphs. If you learned step by step, it would be very simple, but incredibly lengthy

We just have different perceptions of the Devil and what they embody. We all have personal demons, they just take different forms. Without a doubt, my idea of the devil varies from your idea. My personal idea embodies Mara completely, while others think of one that uses physical pain as punishment, some people view mental anguish as the most painful thing imaginable. None of these ideas are wrong, they are just a perception of what opposes you, of what you are scared of. The idea of a devil is just a perception, but that perception is completely real to whoever it belongs to. Physical pain and mental anguish do not scare me as much as the withholding or obscuring the knowledge of truth. Pain and anguish are not eternal, while ignorance has the ability to be.

This is taken from the link you posted

Mara threatens not by withholding the seasonal rains but by withholding or obscuring the knowledge of truth.

To me, that is my personal devil. My ego was holding me back, I was too firmly caught in my illusion of self to see the truth. It may not be your personal devil, you may attack my devil as saying he is only a lesser demon, but that doesn't make it any less real for me. To some, a harmless spider is more terrifying than a hippopotamus.

Also, I must state that obviously I have not studied Buddhism, instead I read teachings and stories on how Buddhists view the world. I do not align myself with any religious sects, instead I try to take the teachings from all. I view them as a source of wisdom, as well as an outlet for evil.

 

[LRx]

Hello MorningWoods,

I have read all 3 of your reports aloud to my girlfriend and my best friend as prime examples of DMT experiences. They are intense articulate, exciting, and accurate reports. I just wanted to thank you for sharing them with the community. I am eager to have some that are similar in intensity.

Thanks again!

 

[MorningWoods]

What name you give an adversary it is of little importance in my opinion. How you respond to what it inflicts on you is the real test.

Moniker, I forgot to thank you for the criticism earlier. Although I may understand many of the core teachings of Buddhism, I am quite ignorant of the beliefs they have, beliefs in deities especially. It had made sense in my perception that Mara was the main antagonist, or 'bad guy' if you will. Once again, I want to thank you for teaching me something, as well as giving me more to think and consider about while writing. Thank you, friend.

Hello MorningWoods,

I have read all 3 of your reports aloud to my girlfriend and my best friend as prime examples of DMT experiences. They are intense articulate, exciting, and accurate reports. I just wanted to thank you for sharing them with the community. I am eager to have some that are similar in intensity.

Thanks again!

No, thank you! It truly means a lot to hear that, especially for something that I pour my heart into. If your girlfriend and best friend decide to do DMT, I hope they have a wonderful experience and take something positive from it. DMT is truly one of the greatest tools we are able to utilize, and doing it has only thrown a gallon of gasoline on the flame that embodies my love and passions.

 

[Elegua]

If I may add a thought to this fascinating discussion -- as a long-practicing Buddhist, I would like to suggest that Mara is both the ultimate adversary & lord of evil, and a very minor and insignificant demon.

It merely depends on how much significance your own mind gives to Mara's domain.

 

[LRx]

Hello MorningWoods,

Just wanted to let you that myself, my girlfriend, and 2 friends all did LSD last night and during our trip, I decided to have one of my friends read your experiences aloud to the group, to really get an idea for what DMT is like. This was after I gave them a small dose of enhanced leaf, earlier in the day.

Your trips made for great entertainment and opened my friends eyes to what the potential is! Thanks again!

 

[MorningWoods]

Thank you for the input Elegua. I appreciate it.

And I hope you all enjoyed it LRx. Hopefully one day you can all take the plunge.

And to go on what I was saying before. After further meditation, self-inspection and asking questions, I realized how stupid it is to define myself in a set way.

As an example, many years ago, I would define myself as a 'night owl'. I would stay up to 6AM, playing video games and whatnot. I told myself that it was hard for me to fall asleep at a reasonable hour, so instead I stayed up late and slept away most of the daylight.

As I started growing up, I was playing video games less and trying to get a good night’s rest and soon enough the definition of myself I previously held crumbled and completely fell apart.

Shortly after I started doing psychedelics, I became a student or 'seeker' of enlightenment. It became a goal. It was something that I wanted to accomplish in this lifetime. Looking back now, my views of what enlightenment meant was completely skewed. I thought that I would be living on a completely different plane; I would have a blue aura around me. Like I would be Buddha reincarnate and there would always be falling cherry blossoms around me. But I also knew that the thing that wants enlightenment is the only thing standing in its way. I just didn't know how to separate myself from that want. I knew if I stopped seeking it in hopes of obtaining it, it would just be a different way of wanting enlightenment. I was at a standstill.

After 2 years of searching myself, asking questions on top of questions, facing my demons as they became apparent, I started to think that enlightenment was too distant of a goal. I heard that Tibetan monks who dedicate their lives to Buddhism, have difficulty reaching it. It became out of reach to me. How could monks who dedicate their entire lives to it not obtain it, and here I am 20 years old trying to do what old and wise men cannot. So with a sigh I stopped actively seeking it. The answer I was searching for came in the form of discouragement.

When I say I stopped striving for enlightenment, that does not mean I stopped thinking about it all together. Instead of looking at it as a goal, I started looking closer at myself. Reflections of me in other people became apparent. I realized that I am everybody, and everybody is me. I am not better than anybody because I realize these small things; it just means I ask questions. I became aware that I could be in any random person's shoes, completely as they are, if I had the exact same experiences as well as the same brain chemistry. I understood that we are all our own beings, with our own dreams and aspirations. I also understood that what worked for me, may not work for other people. They need to find their own path to their inner self. I cannot give them advice on how to live and hold their hands so they don't lose track. I can only ask them questions, and those inquiries will lead to them answering their own questions.
Putting these thought into words is kind of hard as a lot of them transcend language; a lot gets lost in translation.

It was then that I realized that enlightenment is not all that it's made out to be. It is not like standing at the top of a mountain; there are no figurative cherry blossoms falling around you. Enlightenment is simply a perception, a different way to look at the world. It is realizing that no matter the cognitive dissonance; the putting it out of your mind; all the denying, death will one day come. It may be 10 minutes after hitting 'Post', or it may be 70 years from now. I do not know. But what I do know is that Death is always with me. He lurks around every corner. He is the only thing that will never turn his back on me, despite whatever horrors or benevolent things I do. He is the only true, everlasting friend.

With the respect for death, comes the respect for life. Lately, I’ve been constantly finding myself appreciating everything. I appreciate that I am able to hear the sounds of birds chirping in the morning, that I can feel the gentle breeze on a beautiful day, that I can go and dance in the rain, that I can look all the important people in my life in the eyes and communicate my ideas with them, as well as listen to and interpret their ideas.

Please note that I am not claiming to be enlightened. Enlightenment is no longer a goal for me, not because I reached it, but because I understand myself. I made peace with my devils, and I am now happy with my current position in life. I create my own happiness because I appreciate all the small things. I no longer put any more thought towards trying to reach it.

But to get back to what I was saying before, I used to define myself as a seeker of enlightenment and knowledge. I now realize the problems with this. I no longer define myself in any way. I am as much my own thoughts as I am other people’s perception of me. I am simply my soul and how I act in life, the things I strive for, how I treat and understand people. This quote sums it up perfectly

Having realized the Self, nothing remains to be known, because it is perfect bliss, it is the all. - Ramana Maharshi

 

[Looking_for_light]

Well put, friend. Your posts have been very valuable to me, and I go forward to seek my own journey with your thoughts and experiences in mind.