Advice please on integration a 400ug and weed trip:

[Davski]

Advice please on integration a 400ug and weed trip:
I started with acid and put on a youtube shaman music, I laid down with headphones on a sleep mask so was in complete darkness. After a while I decided that I would enhance the trip and smoke some weed, I then laid down again listened to the shaman music with the sleep mask on. I started seeing bright colours in front of me which I went into. I then started experiencing different experiences as various beings, objects. I had no awareness of being human when I was having these experiences. I do not remember it as much as I did when on the trip but some of them I was objects in what was non human world, there was no one apart from what i was experiencing. When being an object I was constantly morphing in to different shapes of the object and I was never comfortable, it was continuous, it wasn't scary just felt uncomfortable. I didn't feel alone I was just the only thing within the experience I was having.
At one time I was a silver blob that kept splitting. I felt on all of these alien/robotic and non human objects that I had no awareness of anything else apart from being what I was experiencing. This went on for a long time and when I became aware of this world i would then later close my eyes and I would go back also to alien world's eventually it stopped but my mind was confused and I felt slighty panicked as I felt that this human experience is just an experience and when I pass on I will go back to another experience that could be alien/robotic or some sort of non human object where I have no awareness apart from the awareness of being whatever I am at that time.
I did 25mg of dmt hours later and I was truly blasted off in other realms but I was wasn't any objects and when I started coming round I saw everything as if I was a non human life form, a very heavy overlay of strange looking language and colours. The reason I mentioned the dmt was that what I experienced on acid and weed was completely different to the realms I have visited on dimitri, dimitri always feel more loving and peaceful. The acid and weed felt more like how a salvia trip is described but that's only from what I read.
About 4 months ago I did the same amount of acid and smoked weed, shaman music, headphones on and eye mask and I experienced the same thing as different non human objects, alien looking robots.
Both of these times have made me feel that we are experiencing being human but after we pass on we never die and experience a never ending amount of various possibilities as all sorts of beings or non beings such as objects.
I feel like there is no peace as we constantly morphing into new things which we experience after one has finished we move to the next. The feeling of no peace makes me feel uncomfortable, I also feel out of all the experiences that being human Is the best one as there are so many things we can do, even though life can be very mentally challenging.
When I was some strange object or alien/robotic life form there was no joy it just felt uncomfortable.

How can I process this please and does anyone have any similar experiences?

 

[Pandora]

Sounds like an amazing and powerful experience. Thank you so much for posting.

Your ally is time. Time and not dosing any psychedelics. Time to lean into the mundane. Time to take up and accept the responsibilities of work or school, family, friends and more. Time to take care of yourself and try to get back to nature. Time to eat well, sleep well and have an orgasm.

And very important if you haven't started doing so already I would recommend journaling. Write down the trip and then as time passes write down your thoughts.

Remember you did take a drug and this was an experience, a very powerful one. This is mainly due to the fact that the mind has so much expansion to do relative to our baseline state. Our minds seem to contain inhabited universes. It is truly astonishing and it feels like such a privilege to be able to work with these medicines and take that look inside.

It (your experience)is not necessarily the be all and end all of ultimate reality. Many things are possible and yet most of them we don't need to worry about. I feel like as long as everything works it's okay if we're being remotely fantasized from robot bodies or in a simulation.

This seems to be something of an incoherent rant so I apologize. I do hope you find the integration you are working for and I do believe the key is just taking time.

 

[Davski]

Sounds like an amazing and powerful experience. Thank you do much for posting.

Your ally is time. Time and not dosing any psychedelics. Time to lean into the mundane. Time to take up and accept the responsibilities of work or school, family, friends and more. Time to take care of yourself and try to get back to nature. Time to eat well, sleep well and have an orgasm.

And very important if you haven't started doing so already I would recommend journaling. Write down the trip and then as time passes write down your thoughts.

Remember you did take a drug and this was an experience, a very powerful one. This is mainly due to the fact that the mind has so much expansion to do relative to our baseline state. Our minds seem to contain inhabited universes. It is truly astonishing and it feels like such a privilege to be able to work with these medicines and take that look inside.

It (your experience)is not necessarily the be all and end all of ultimate reality. Many things are possible and yet most of them we don't need to worry about. I feel like as long as everything works it's okay if we're being remotely fantasized from robot bodies or in a simulation.

This seems to be something of an incoherent rant so I apologize. I do hope you find the integration you are working for and I do believe the key is just taking time.

Thanks for your response it's appreciated, you are right regarding my experience not necessarily be all and end all and I will remember that as its very helpful.
I've been using DMT for about 4 years and been to many places where I thought this is where we go when we pass on from here but then I visit new places and not the same ones, there are just endless possibilities.

DMT always feels so loving and warm even thou I get very anxious before I go on a journey. I do lots of mediations, smudging with sage and palo santo, deep breathing just to be in the right place, I treat dimitri with the utmost respect.
When I did the acid and weed I went very far but it wasn't the warm and loving feeling that dimitri allows me to experience. I was on my own but not lonely and I was the only alien/robotic being or non being object that existed there was nothing else just an awareness of being what ever I was experiencing.
I've done weed and acid many times over the years but I think the sleep mask and shaman music made it a completely different experience as I only done the shaman music and sleep mask twice now, both times were very powerful experiences. I also had on both occasions a feeling of the middle of me or whatever I was being pulled from me.

Othertimes When I done acid, weed and later on dimitri I have gone to very friendly alien world's as alien beings where I interact with these aliens where I play games with them and feel complete love, warmth and connection.

 

[CosmicRiver]

Hi Davski!

Since you mentioned Salvia, Salvia divinorum binds and activates receptors called kappa-opioid. This activation results in dysphoria (as these receptors are highly expressed in areas of the brain associated with fear and stress activation) and dissociation. It probably plays an evolutionary role. This is why many people on Salvia report becoming objects and finding the experience scary or uncomfortable.
Why am i talking about Salvia? Because THC has been found to activate kappa-opioid receptors as well (through an indirect mechanism). In fact dysphoric and dissociative experiences on high doses of Cannabis are very frequent.

Anyway, since you are now worried that you will have a different existence after this human existence: according to the traditions who believe in rebirth, a life that is just uncomfortable like the one you experienced is the consequence of a lot of negative karma and ignorance, and it doesn't sound like your case. Some of these traditions also state that most of us recognize our nature upon death and only the ones with much negative karma are drawn again to this world.

As i said in another reply there was this guy who smoked Salvia and ended up being a carpet hanging on a wall with an elephant head in front of it. Since elephants and carpets are found on Earth, i find very very unlikely that there is a dimension made of carpets and elephants. And yet the perceived realness of the trip had this guy convinced that their real existence was the one of being a carpet. The hyperrealness and hypersalience of psychedelics and the dysphoria and dissociation of kappa-opioid activation can produce this kind of experiences.

On a side note, LSD can be a bit sketchy imo compared to DMT and mess with your mind, especially on 400 ug which is a lot.

So try not to worry and, speaking about integration, imo if you can learn something from it great, but otherwise you could treat it like a fever dream.

All the best

 

[Davski]

Hi Davski!

Since you mentioned Salvia, Salvia divinorum binds and activates receptors called kappa-opioid. This activation results in dysphoria (as these receptors are highly expressed in areas of the brain associated with fear and stress activation) and dissociation. It probably plays an evolutionary role. This is why many people on Salvia report becoming objects and finding the experience scary or uncomfortable.
Why am i talking about Salvia? Because THC has been found to activate kappa-opioid receptors as well (through an indirect mechanism). In fact dysphoric and dissociative experiences on high doses of Cannabis are very frequent.

Anyway, since you are now worried that you will have a different existence after this human existence: according to the traditions who believe in rebirth, a life that is just uncomfortable like the one you experienced is the consequence of a lot of negative karma and ignorance, and it doesn't sound like your case. Some of these traditions also state that most of us recognize our nature upon death and only the ones with much negative karma are drawn again to this world.

As i said in another reply there was this guy who smoked Salvia and ended up being a carpet hanging on a wall with an elephant head in front of it. Since elephants and carpets are found on Earth, i find very very unlikely that there is a dimension made of carpets and elephants. And yet the perceived realness of the trip had this guy convinced that their real existence was the one of being a carpet. The hyperrealness and hypersalience of psychedelics and the dysphoria and dissociation of kappa-opioid activation can produce this kind of experiences.

On a side note, LSD can be a bit sketchy imo compared to DMT and mess with your mind, especially on 400 ug which is a lot.

So try not to worry and, speaking about integration, imo if you can learn something from it great, but otherwise you could treat it like a fever dream.

All the best

Thanks for your reply, those are interesting points that you mentioned. It was definitely a strange experience that was not like the times where I had only smoked dimitri and had experiences of being different forms of experiences such as being of an alien life. On a positive integration view I will try and make the most out of this human experience as I have always struggled on this planet. I realised when I was back that there are alot of positives being human I just need to work harder on myself.

 

[fink]

Hey Davski, if nothing else comes of this experience, you could try being kinder to rocks

 

[northape]

I realised when I was back that there are alot of positives being human I just need to work harder on myself.

I just need to be kinder to myself. Here, I fixed it for you

Creating unnecessary stress trying to be someone leads nowhere. Just be yourself. No one can interpret your dreams better than you.
Go for it and make the best possible guess about what it all meant. Nothing there is really real, like in a material reality. It was all a bunch of symbols.
What they mean depends solely on your own psyche. As others have said, give yourself time and engage with life. It all will sort itself out.
Peace

 

[Davski]

Hey Davski, if nothing else comes of this experience, you could try being kinder to rocks

Well I definitely need to be kinder to myself, something I hope I can do for sure.

 

[Davski]

I just need to be kinder to myself. Here, I fixed it for you

Creating unnecessary stress trying to be someone leads nowhere. Just be yourself. No one can interpret your dreams better than you.
Go for it and make the best possible guess about what it all meant. Nothing there is really real, like in a material reality. It was all a bunch of symbols.
What they mean depends solely on your own psyche. As others have said, give yourself time and engage with life. It all will sort itself out.
Peace

Definitely agree with that kinder to myself and not harder on myself point.
I will give more time to process, I do feel I'm understanding more what the experience meant and what it means moving forward.

 

[northape]

Definitely agree with that kinder to myself and not harder on myself point.
I will give more time to process, I do feel I'm understanding more what the experience meant and what it means moving forward.

We're told to make something out of ourselves and compete from early childhood in this culture. Life was never about getting somewhere; it's about being right here.
Sadly, many realize this simple truth only when they're old, and it's kind of late. Just pause for a second and feel yourself, feel the moment. No matter what you saw in these experiences, it's always only about you. Who saw it all unfold? Appreciate yourself and your life. When you are able to relax into yourself, the natural response is an outburst of creativity and love. May all be well

 

[universecannon]

I also wouldn't try too hard to extract meaning out of every weird thing that happens during these experiences (not saying you are). I probably would've gone nuts by now had I kept doing that. A lot of it just isn't downloadable into language and it's easy to get caught up in trying to over analyze and make sense of it all because that's what our ego does. We have to eventually come to terms with living in the mystery to some degree, the deeper we go. Not to mention there's sometimes a lot of what just seems like noise and decoherent nonsense related to our ego trying to make sense of it all in the moment, or things being distorted by fear, random weird crap of all kinds etc etc.

The acid/weed combo can be quite gnarly for some, especially without tolerance, so be careful. It can lead to some deep experiences as you've seen, but can also lead to difficult anxiety filled one's at times, or a complex mix

 

[Davski]

We're told to make something out of ourselves and compete from early childhood in this culture. Life was never about getting somewhere; it's about being right here.
Sadly, many realize this simple truth only when they're old, and it's kind of late. Just pause for a second and feel yourself, feel the moment. No matter what you saw in these experiences, it's always only about you. Who saw it all unfold? Appreciate yourself and your life. When you are able to relax into yourself, the natural response is an outburst of creativity and love. May all be well

That's definitely something I have been trying to work on over the last number of months, being present.
I have more of an appreciation for life after that trip I was on but I also struggle with living this human experience as I suffer from challenges such as OCD which has robbed decades of life from me. I wished and still wish that various pyschsdelics would have healed me but they have helped me to a certain extent.
Unfortunately OCD is very much down to me to learn to live with and to reduce the ruminating and compulsions and being present is definitely helpful with it as well.

 

[Davski]

I also wouldn't try too hard to extract meaning out of every weird thing that happens during these experiences (not saying you are). I probably would've gone nuts by now had I kept doing that. A lot of it just isn't downloadable into language and it's easy to get caught up in trying to over analyze and make sense of it all because that's what our ego does. We have to eventually come to terms with living in the mystery to some degree, the deeper we go. Not to mention there's sometimes a lot of what just seems like noise and decoherent nonsense related to our ego trying to make sense of it all in the moment, or things being distorted by fear, random weird crap of all kinds etc etc.

The acid/weed combo can be quite gnarly for some, especially without tolerance, so be careful. It can lead to some deep experiences as you've seen, but can also lead to difficult anxiety filled one's at times, or a complex mix

I have always wanted and craved certainty which has caused me problems along the way in this life I am having, black and white thinking is how I would like to see the world I experience but life isn't like this. However as you mentioned we should accept the mystery of experiences we participate in and also the possibilities of the ego flexing about when we travel to these places.
The acid and weed sure did enhance my trip, I feel potentially the shaman music, headphones and sleep mask made me go further than I ever have before, well apart from the first time I had done the above with similar results.
It's taking me a few days to feel less uncomfortable with what I experienced. These pyschsdelics, plant medicines fascinate me and I do hope they help me more with mental health aka OCD. I feel tjat have helped alot over the years but I would like to find more inner piece.

 

[redbird]

I almost hesitate to tell you this because i feel like I'm spoiling the end of a book or something but:
Sounds like you entered that trip with "I'm not super happy with my current existence" and during the trip you saw what it would look like to be other types of existence. And it sounds like you liked those less.
So maybe the lesson is:
Gratitude?
Perspective?
Shit could be worse?
Embrace the cosmic giggle?

Idk, I'm not you so spoiler alert or no, I can't really answer it for you. But I send my love and empathy.
Acid and weed really fucked with me in my youth. I've since quit the weed and that's really helped. Not saying you need to do that, more that I see you and having been there, I can honestly tell you it gets better.

Part of that was realizing that nothing really has meaning outside of what we ascribe to it. Like maybe there's some cosmic cheatsheet somewhere but it's a numenal thing we can't really access so best we get is our phenomenal approximation.
I also struggle with the black and white thinking, uncomfortable in shades of grey, so that was and still sometimes is really difficult for me to accept that there's not necessarily an answer "out there" but at the same time it's empowering to know I can always find the answers when I have the courage to look within.

 

[redbird]

Also i highly recommend this. Whether you're a neurotic hairless ape, silver blob, or inter dimensional toaster, you can practice loving your awareness and being a loving awareness and it makes things so much better.

 

[northape]

I suffer from challenges such as OCD which has robbed decades of life from me. I wished and still wish that various pyschsdelics would have healed me but they have helped me to a certain extent.
Unfortunately OCD is very much down to me to learn to live with and to reduce the ruminating and compulsions and being present is definitely helpful with it as well.

I have suffered from OCD for most of my life. It is much better nowadays after a lot of work on it. Mushrooms were the biggest help for me. Of all the psychedelics, they pointed directly at the problem. It is not like others did not help, but they were more ambiguous.

I have always wanted and craved certainty which has caused me problems along the way in this life I am having, black and white thinking is how I would like to see the world I experience but life isn't like this.

In my experience, that is the root of the problem for OCD sufferers. We are so anxious about reality that we want certainty and control. OCD is a form of tightness in the psyche. It is a vicious cycle of rumination that feeds itself. One solution is to be fine with uncertainty and the constant flux of life. Just relax in your lack of control. It is easier said than done and requires a lot of practice. Still, the solution is just that simple.

Another angle on the problem is to break the constant rumination. For example, when I want to check my stove for the 10th time, all I need to do is say "f*ck it" and go on my way. What is the worst possible outcome? Your property could burn, but that is nothing in comparison to your mental health. I used that simple question as a way to break an OCD loop many times. With practice, it becomes almost automatic, and without food, OCD dies out by itself.

Psychedelics never heal anything by themselves. They just show the issues and give a mental boost for relearning. I hope some of this helps you.

 

[doubledog]

Imo it seems that you have received the message and you have perfectly understood it.

Live your life as a human, eventhough it is sometimes tough.

(and prefer tryptamines over lysergamides)

 

[Davski]

I almost hesitate to tell you this because i feel like I'm spoiling the end of a book or something but:
Sounds like you entered that trip with "I'm not super happy with my current existence" and during the trip you saw what it would look like to be other types of existence. And it sounds like you liked those less.
So maybe the lesson is:
Gratitude?
Perspective?
Shit could be worse?
Embrace the cosmic giggle?

Idk, I'm not you so spoiler alert or no, I can't really answer it for you. But I send my love and empathy.
Acid and weed really fucked with me in my youth. I've since quit the weed and that's really helped. Not saying you need to do that, more that I see you and having been there, I can honestly tell you it gets better.

Part of that was realizing that nothing really has meaning outside of what we ascribe to it. Like maybe there's some cosmic cheatsheet somewhere but it's a numenal thing we can't really access so best we get is our phenomenal approximation.
I also struggle with the black and white thinking, uncomfortable in shades of grey, so that was and still sometimes is really difficult for me to accept that there's not necessarily an answer "out there" but at the same time it's empowering to know I can always find the answers when I have the courage to look within.

I agree with that as for the last few years life has been more challenging, partly due to doing programs surrounding my OCD and health anxiety struggles. Sadly it's been a while that I have been content with this human experience but as you quite rightly pointed out that the experiences I had when I was tripping were not as pleasant as being human.
I didn't feel at all I was missing out on anything when I was having these experiences it just felt uncomfortable and endless and completely alone even thou i didnt feel alone i didnt have that awareness, a sense of being human was not there at all just like when on dimitri. However dimitri has always been for me a very warm, friendly experience so far over the years.
When I got back here from my acid and weed trip yoy are right I did feel gratitude and I had a new perspective on being human as those other experiences I had awareness off was not as good as this human experience even thou this human experience can be very challenging.
It's interesting you mentioned about the cosmic gigle as I get alot of synchronicities when not tripping and sober i do have a little laugh within. I keep meaning to write them all down. Some of synchronicities are not always postive and I do think sometimes that this reality is some odd strange game.
Appreciate the points you made.

 

[Davski]

Also i highly recommend this. Whether you're a neurotic hairless ape, silver blob, or inter dimensional toaster, you can practice loving your awareness and being a loving awareness and it makes things so much better.

Love abit of Ram Dass so I will give this a go, thanks. I do belive we are infinite awareness, inter dimensional toaster made me smile.

 

[Davski]

I have suffered from OCD for most of my life. It is much better nowadays after a lot of work on it. Mushrooms were the biggest help for me. Of all the psychedelics, they pointed directly at the problem. It is not like others did not help, but they were more ambiguous.

In my experience, that is the root of the problem for OCD sufferers. We are so anxious about reality that we want certainty and control. OCD is a form of tightness in the psyche. It is a vicious cycle of rumination that feeds itself. One solution is to be fine with uncertainty and the constant flux of life. Just relax in your lack of control. It is easier said than done and requires a lot of practice. Still, the solution is just that simple.

Another angle on the problem is to break the constant rumination. For example, when I want to check my stove for the 10th time, all I need to do is say "f*ck it" and go on my way. What is the worst possible outcome? Your property could burn, but that is nothing in comparison to your mental health. I used that simple question as a way to break an OCD loop many times. With practice, it becomes almost automatic, and without food, OCD dies out by itself.

Psychedelics never heal anything by themselves. They just show the issues and give a mental boost for relearning. I hope some of this helps you.

That makes alot of sense, I've always wanted certainty and since I was about 6 years old I have had so many various themes. The ruminating is the food for the OCD and I have moments where I can be at peace and think what OCD. Unfortunately it doesn't last as long as I want it too. I have been doing alot of work on myself over the last year with ERP programs and trying to reduce the ruminating. I did a couple grams of JMF shrooms over two weeks ago and the acid and weed trip on Monday just gone, the last few days I have felt more calmer with the OCD. I'm hoping that the mushrooms maybe able to help me and I plan to give microdosing a go as some say that helps but others say macro is better. If you have any ideas on what was better for you with shrooms I would appreciate your input please.
I know that I can heal myself and I need to continue with the tools regarding OCD that I have learnt, I don't feel shrooms and other pysydelics can heal me but work as an assistant.
My OCD has been so bad at times I was in hospital as an inpatient for 6 months about 10 years ago and about 4 years ago I tapered of medication and then spent a number of years doing the classic avoidance tactics but in denial of the avoidance I was doing. Medication never really helped me apart from numbing me slighty. I don't ever want to go back on medication but I do sometimes wonder that in the future and if all else doesn't work then maybe I should. Obviously I am aware that is only something I can work out but I don't want to ever close the doors to the most amazing experiences I've had especially with dimitri.
I will continue working on myself and try all other possible options as well as doing my ocd programs and tools I've been taught....it's the dreaded "What if" disease that OCD causes.