Ayahuasca in a pitch black room - 13g mhrb + 4g rue

[Matoskah]

Our brew is simmering in a kettle.

Haha right? We actually found a kettle at a friends house and here we are again roughly 9 years later in a reuniting of sorts. In another time or maybe even in another part of the world we'd be called witches and warlocks at this point.

We have quite a lot of yage brewing and the smell... well let's just say that it's a real reminder of what's about to come. It's a smell that's hard to forget even after 9 years.

We're planning to experience roughly 13g mhrb and 4g rue each. We're not entirely sure on the timing of consumption because since we last enjoyed this brew there's surfaced a lot of new information... conflicting information.

Some still adhere to dropping the maoi 30m prior to yage while some voices seems to lean toward mixing the two with no time in-between consumption. So in the NAME OF SCIENCE half of our group will use the 30m method and the rest will not. We'll all fast for roughly 4 hours before and after and we'll add no other substances to the experience.

The setting is... well old but well kept. Imagine someone hippy-gramps house at the early 50s. It's really cozy and welcoming. The set is nihilistic but not in a negative way but rather just the way that I tend to view my life-experience in. It's lovely, dark and warm like a baby under a blanket but in the end, does it even have to matter? I don' think so.

I'm writing this as we go, so to speak, so if the text comes off as a bit unstructured well now you know why.

We're planning on getting on with our voyage later tomorrow night since we're all off from our daily things (thank you corona) and thus get to have this wonderful reunion. We'll probably keep conversing while tending to our brew until it's time for sleep. We'll brew it for 30m x 3 with a bit of vinegar (also a controversial topic today it seems).

Enjoy your time, everyone We'll tune in more tomorrow!

 

[SynKyd]

Our brew is simmering in a kettle.

Haha right? We actually found a kettle at a friends house and here we are again roughly 9 years later in a reuniting of sorts. In another time or maybe even in another part of the world we'd be called witches and warlocks at this point.

We have quite a lot of yage brewing and the smell... well let's just say that it's a real reminder of what's about to come. It's a smell that's hard to forget even after 9 years.

We're planning to experience roughly 13g mhrb and 4g rue each. We're not entirely sure on the timing of consumption because since we last enjoyed this brew there's surfaced a lot of new information... conflicting information.

Some still adhere to dropping the maoi 30m prior to yage while some voices seems to lean toward mixing the two with no time in-between consumption. So in the NAME OF SCIENCE half of our group will use the 30m method and the rest will not. We'll all fast for roughly 4 hours before and after and we'll add no other substances to the experience.

The setting is... well old but well kept. Imagine someone hippy-gramps house at the early 50s. It's really cozy and welcoming. The set is nihilistic but not in a negative way but rather just the way that I tend to view my life-experience in. It's lovely, dark and warm like a baby under a blanket but in the end, does it even have to matter? I don' think so.

I'm writing this as we go, so to speak, so if the text comes off as a bit unstructured well now you know why.

We're planning on getting on with our voyage later tomorrow night since we're all off from our daily things (thank you corona) and thus get to have this wonderful reunion. We'll probably keep conversing while tending to our brew until it's time for sleep. We'll brew it for 30m x 3 with a bit of vinegar (also a controversial topic today it seems).

Enjoy your time, everyone We'll tune in more tomorrow!

Thank you for sharing your intentions, safe travels friend

 

[Matoskah]

Thank you for sharing your intentions, safe travels friend

Hey friend, we appreciate the well wishes.

Today we're simmering down the final batch and it's starting to look really dark in there. We'll probably have to cloth-strain it to reduce the amount of sediment that's present in the brew.

We did some math and 13g seems to be able to land us between a strong experience and an profound godly intervention of space-stuff :want:

So a question for all the scientists and alike out there: When brewing shredded bark 30minutes x 4 (we upped it with an additional pull), in what range of mgs would you expect the brew to contain?

We're discussing the average here e.g. if the shredded bark pulls are less efficient than powder... if we get 70% dmg from the pulls... if all factors that come into play line up perfectly average, would we end up dosing 91mgs of dmt? Seems far fetched to me. Don't forget about the rue timing and metabolism too. There are so many factors that come into play.

Let me hear what you think about our hippy dippy math and thoughts!

 

[Matoskah]

Update on the brewing:


After filtering the bark through 2 egg whites to absorb the tannins, a small and a large meshe, clothes and finally clothes in meshes we've ended up with a quite clear albeit dark brew. There are some small particles left but we argued that further filter might just reduce the quality of the product.

The liquid have been reduced into a syrupy brew with the amount equivalent to a large shot glass. We're going for the one-and-go. God forbid that anyone will need more than one gulp of this stuff :lol:

We've begun with the rue which will also be reduced into a shots-worth of stuff.

We'll be back later tomorrow night with a report on our coming voyage. We're estimating a duration of at least 6 hours considering the brews strength. After the experience we'll gather our collective smarts and report back here.

My hypothesis on my coming voyage is as follows:
1. Get a tummy ache
2. Feel the typical comfy-rue feeling
3. Feel the intense onset of the bark
4. Lose my motor skills and become dormant
5. Surrender completely to the carrier-wave and breakthrough
6. Just be
7. Get to it after a while and slowly regain motor skills
8. Type my experience report

Considering that it's been many years since I last went indulged in this variation of Yagé I'm approaching the voyage with an empty mind; that way I have more space left for the Yagé to fill :want:

Safe travels, friends!

 

[Matoskah]

4g Rue.
13g shredded bark (10g consumed)

So we got done brewing everything in order faster than we thought we'd do and... we went for it tonight.

It turns out that the brewing technique was superb; even though the brew was almost a bit syrupy it had no sediment whatsoever after being cooled down. As far as consistency goes it was easy to get down. As for as quantity goes we should've reduced it just a smidgen more because we couldn't get it all in one go and almost everyone got 1/4th left. Some went for the seconds but I couldn't stomach anymore.

We had one group room and designated solo-rooms with a door to make it pitch black if wanted. I felt my tummy getting upset early on and was the first to go solitary.

I was in the pre-10 minute Rue group and 10 minutes after the Rue I felt relaxed and a bit stony as I sat on top of many pillows. After consuming 3/4ths of my bark brew I felt a lot of tummy action so I put myself in an incline position resting on my back. This helped my tummy a lot but I still got the occasional burps. No vomiting ever occurred though I salivated a lot during the build up.

30 minutes after consuming the bark I felt a warm heat spreading from my face to the rest of my body. It was nice. A few moments later I felt the typical dmt-feeling of a tensing jaw, face and tightening of the body. Euphoria was also present at this point.

My wife joined me in the room as the tightening-feeling began to feel overpowering; the entire weight of the universe was on me and gravity was indeed a troublesome partner at this point. I felt glued to the pillows as I was focused on relaxing my body.

Then the colors started to shift, white became progressively more turquoise and anything remotely black or grey became neon purple. I remembered how typical these colors were for me back in the days too when I was smoalking dmt.

As the pressure kept building and was about to become unbearable I told my wife to leave me and close the door and shut off the light; I needed some sort of relief from the pressure that was toppling me.

Just as the door shut I gasped for air. The instant the last ray of light left my sight the room exploded in golden, purple and turquoise 3D cubes dancing all around me in the room. After moments of sheer astonishment I was suddenly filled with a tense build-up of tummy ache due to the overly-complex stuff that now shared the room with me. I sat up quickly and let out a massive burp that almost triggered vomiting. I looked up from my bucket in relief; I was glad that I had kept it down. I was again at the verge of vertigo because of the intensity of the light and motions from the cube. I forced myself to lie back down and it immediately relieved some of the dizziness that I was experiencing.

From that point on it becomes hard to recollect the experience in a chronological order that makes sense.
I remember thinking "Am I really THAT far gone?" trying to blink out of it or turning on the lights but nothing changed the cubes, they were as real as my bucket next to me.

I got hit in waves, the first one feeling very tense and with the carrier wave looming in the distance. When it started to fade and the cubes chilled out I started thinking that maybe I botched something and then seconds later the second wave buzzed my head so hard I thought It'd crack. The bzzzz sound struck down on my head like a million bees and right after that the room bled into my mind. I remember thinking that dmt is not a high, it's a psychedelic without comparison. It's impossible yet real. I had quite a few visions, vivid in color and detail. Many of snakes in impossible geometrical landscapes. The first wave seemed to have lasted for a long time but in retrospect couldn't have been more than a few minutes.

During the second wave I experienced a lot of things. I had and apparently still have the habit of repeating the word "is" as a mantra. Because that's what it feels like when I breakthrough on DMT, I just am. Everything just is. I'm squeezed into nothingness and shot out as a liquid form into a white cylindrical space where a cute elven lady smiles at me. Then swoosh I bleed into the cylinder and become the white space. The white space is then suddenly penetrated by a fierce needle that scared the living crap outta me. It felt extremely hostile so I left the space and got on with my business by becoming moshed into liquid once more. As a liquid I combined myself with thoughts, matter and other impossibilities and roamed freely inside of something looking like the inside of a vein.

Not long after, the vein started to burst and leak out at different places because I had accumulated too much mass and I spurted out of the vein at many places. I was shattered all over everything and then I came to. Looking up I could barely make out the door from all the goddamn cubes still spinning around while I'd still spontaneously bleed into something else. My mind felt fractured as I fought for just a moment of control.

I tried to think about what I had experienced but there was no control left. Thoughts invaded me, voices came too and then I melted into the pillows and fell through the floor. I panicked initially but then I let go thinking that I needed to embrace all of it. That's when I stopped falling and more thoughts came to me while I was being pressed through all sorts of things "Will I ever be normal again" - "Is this it?" - "Should I have taken the second gulp?" - "What the heck is going on" - "Please dear god let my wife bust into this room RIGHT NOW and save me". The thoughts turned into echoes that piled on top of each other until I again, came to in a haze of visuals and auditory cacophony.

I felt drool on my chin and tears all over my face. I felt extremely heavy and couldn't move around much. I slowly worked up the focus and strength to move my hand and I was amazed at what I saw. My hand melded into the cubes clear as day. The hand would disappear into it and then return complete albeit vibrating. That's when I noticed that the entire room was vibrating and forcefully so. I felt another wave of nausea and went for the bucket but it was another big burp. My head was so heavy that it almost hit the bottom of the bucket and I laughed hard thinking that I was lucky not having puked in it beforehand.

I was starting to feel a third wave climbing on top of me and I felt exhausted so I called out and my wife came to see me again. We talked through the entire third wave which was cumbersome but the fact that I stayed somewhat grounded filled me with relief. She sang to me and it was beautiful and brought a childish smile to my face as I sung with her for as much as I could.

I tried to talk about what I'd experienced but I couldn't quite make out sentences that well and it was with great effort that I got anything said at all. I had a really hard time focusing because of the cubes kept forming everywhere and the vibrations were really distracting.

Feeling another wave coming I asked her to shut the door once more. I can't remember much of this beyond coming to much earlier with a desperate bladder crying for help. In a split second decision deciding on not to piss in the bucket I forced myself up and away to the bathroom. I felt super weird peeing and I won't go into detail, it was weird. In hindsight I'm going to bring a pee bottle by my side the next time I take on another experience.

Getting back into my comfy zone I got the idea of touching myself some place... and let's just say that I freaked out when my hand melded into my stuff and I thought I had pissed myself when I felt a reaaaally hot stream of something spreading across my thigh. It later on turned out to be nothing but a hallucination but it shook me up a bit. No hands were near anything after that.

Upon lying back down again I had a growing sense of dread because of the ever present weight and intensity that was still growing. I thought music could bring me some relief but my motor skills were just gone. I got the bright idea of calling to my wife for some help but it took forever to reach the goddamn door handle. When I finally did I was at the brink of tears. The relief was intense when I opened the door and there my wife, bathing in light already stood. She looked at me confused and asked how I was doing and I told her I had been trying to reach the doorknob forever. That's when she told me she was just gone for 5 minutes. That comment sent my mind racing and more real hallucinations and OEVs took place. I did get some music and it felt awesome but it quickly became too much for me and I had to trade it in for the silence that the yagé filled up anyway.

Feeling exhausted I left the door open and my wife accompanied me during the last hour. I had a 3 hour long experience. Two of those were extremely intense weaving me in and out of breakthrough experiences which was really exhausting by the end, I remember just wanting to sleep at a certain point and then blrrrrrrr I melt into the sheet and become one with everything once more. The first two waves it was all astonishment and bewilderment and those two were also the strongest by far at approx 0.5-1.5 hours into the experience.

Compared to my many dmt smoalk experiences it was however very interesting to have a strong bark + rue experience. Any sort of wide and bright light was very grounding which means that I'd probably have needed that last 1/4th brew to go through more times without the aiding darkness from the room.

It was exciting to have so much time for reflection compared to smoalked dmt experiences and to get breakthroughs in waves was something else entirely. At a point I felt like a psychedelic drunk where I'd suddenly be plunged back into my body for a short time and then exit it as violently as before time and time again.

The afterglow left a lot of time for reflection too whereas the smoalk dmt afterglow is generally short this is STILL felt approximately 1 hour after I started to come down. I have a bit of a headache but the experience was very strenuous. Several times during the experience I'd gasp for breath before and during some of the plunges due to the sheer intensity. It reminded me of a roller coaster and the OOOHh-moment :shock: when the gravity goes. It was also very rewarding to have the much slower build-up that the yagé brings compared to the bomb that is smoalked dmt. With yagé I always felt very integrated in the experience and being able to communicate in between breakthroughs was quite amazing. The intensity was almost a bit too much but in retrospect worth it.

As far as the groups collective experiences went we're all satisfied with the results and noticed no discernible difference between pre-dosing the rue 10 minutes or mixing it with the bark. The mix-group did need two gulps however which considering how disgusting the bark is, is not preferable at all. It's better to first go rue then bark IMO. It's easier to stomach it that way. Nobody vomited as well.

That's all for now and I hope that you enjoyed the read. I'm due for some well needed sleep now and I'll do the entire 13g in maybe a few weeks or so. I just gotta reduce it a bit more so that I can down the entire brew in one shot.

Safe travels to everyone out there.

 

[Matoskah]

Day after write-up:

I awoke quite early with a fierce head-ache and I dare call it a migraine with the flashes I've been having. Might be from the rue and it might just be from the intensity of the experience. It actually helps staying up. Lying down and closing my eyes makes it really throbbing.

My digestive track isn't yet up to speed so the brews were in no way purgative.

I feel fine overall with the exception of the migraines but I do remember experiencing something similar before with the rue in particular.

The next time I'll fast longer to see if there's a way to avoid this hang-over.

EDIT Last update on our experience:
I got a really vicious migraine that was non-stop and lasted for roughly 28 hours and it was horrendous. If I moved around in a lit up room it was doable or if I laid completely still in a dark room it'd be manageable after an hour or so. Everything else caused me a blinding pain that literally closed my eyes.

I did eat some chili con carne hours after the experience and I know it's advised to avoid red meat. Might just have been the experience though. At its most intense it was like having a smoalked dmt breakthrough over and over and I remember being incredible tensed up at times.

I won't indulge in yagé for quite some time due to the fear of the migraine. It was simply too much to experience right after a very heavy psychedelic experience. Walking around for hours praying for relief isn't worth it in the end.

It did however bring upon a lot of healthy insights that I'll hold onto dearly. There's always something to learn.

My advice to anyone ever thinking of trying high dose bark + rue is to follow a low tyramine diet 2 days before and after just to be on the safer side of things.

Safe travels friends!