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Bad ayahuasca trip.

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Running Bear

Running Bear

Rising Star
I just took a really big dose of ayahuasca for the 2nd time. Let me tell you people I seen true evil . I was mentally tortured for 6 hours straight and it enjoyed it. This is coming from a man that was a atheist. I'm not a atheist anymore. I may never take ayahuasca again. About 3 months ago i did it in a ceremony at a native American church in the states. Knowing that the church was most likely illegal I decided to make it myself. My first experience with the medicine It started out beautiful but the last 20 min of the peak was like one big panic attack, its like i was paying for all the evil i did in this life. I didn't think much of it because I have used mushrooms and LSD in the past with nothing but positive experiences. I decided to smoke some freebase dmt and It was truly a out of body experience but Its so intense and over so quickly that I got nothing out of it. Because of not trusting this church and not getting anything out of the dmt freebase i decided to brew up some medicine and do it in my room by myself. I turned on some happy Meditation music and took 3 doses at once like a idiot. At first it was great and everything was truly beautiful. After the first 45 min I started to think about sad memories, family and the people i have hurt emotionally in my life. That go's on for about a hour and then my hallucinations started to get more intense even when i closed my eyes i couldn't escape it. I remember looking up at my ceiling and i seen a face. This face started to smile at me as if it was waiting for me. This entity opened its mouth and i seen sharp teeth. I closed my eyes to escape it and when I did I seen 2 snakes slithering around each other. Right after seeing the snakes Something completely took over my mind and thoughts and i had no control over anything. This entity mentally tortured me for hours and i would have done anything to make it stop.the spirit world doesn't necessarily seem like a people friendly place. I don't see how anyone could possibly navigate or control this dimension. There are things in this place that can even control your thoughts. people need to be careful.
 
Hey Squatting Bear, welcome to the forum!

The most common explanation for your experience is messed up set & setting. I expect people to tell you that there was something wrong with your intentions, preparation and what not. And maybe they are right :)

However, my work with DMT led me to believe that hell and demons are real deal. And I am not speaking figuratively here. No! I mean it in the most non-metaphorical way possible - hell and its inhabitants are as real as our physical everyday reality. Maybe it's a specific frequency our brains attune to - I don't know. But the existence of intelligent entities/spirits and spirit world is undeniable in my point of view.

Squatting Bear said:
After the first 45 min I started to think about sad memories, family and the people i have hurt emotionally in my life.
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Interesting! This is how I imagine it will go after my death. All the pain I caused to others (for which I never really apologized), combined with all the pain others have inflicted upon me (for which I never really forgave them), would serve as a brick stone on my neck, bringing me down, straight to hell. Where the unfriendly inhabitants (demons), who totally hate humans, will inflict unimaginable tortures on me. Luckily, DMT gave me a foretaste of things to come and motivated me to better my life, now I still have time and ability to do so.
 
Thanks for sharing your experience - I think many people need to know about situations like these. Especially with over-dosing yourself.... Can go bad quick.

There is no legal Native American church relating to Ayahuasca. Only legal churches in USA are Santo Daime and UDV. The few Ayahuasca churches claiming to be Native American are actually not even part of NAC and NAC has denounced them multiple times and even testified against them in court once.

If you ever decide to drink again I would suggest finding an honest and legit circle to sit with and also to skip the smoking DMT part. Energetically, smoking DMT does some weird things that I personally dont think go well with the already vulnerable state Ayahuasca puts you in (I know others disagree, but this is my personal opinion). Ayahuasca ceremony really needs to be done in a protected environment.

A lot of what you experienced sounds like purging - purging past evils or dark thoughts ect.... But if an entity made it into your ceremony, there is not really much you can do unless you have experience dealing with those types of things already. You cant escape it either - there is no off switch for Ayahuasca.

If you notice any residual effects after the first few days following the experience... I suggest finding a curandero to work with as there may be some mess for them to clean up.

I drink medicine very often in curandero led ceremonies and all the time I watch them clean up the messes people made of their own private ceremonies, or from drinking with inexperienced facilitators. Sometimes there is no damage done, and sometimes there is actually some residual effects that need to be worked on. Not meaning to scare you here, but mentioning this in case you have some residual effects that concern you. Even if you dont want to drink again, the curandero should be able to help just by singing to you.
 
Thanks for responding guys, means a lot. The thing that concerns me are the bad dreams that im having. Last night i dreamed that i was in a church and people were holding me down. There was a priest trying to cast out a demon. This dream was so vivid and seemed so real. I woke up at 3 something and was to afraid to go back to sleep. The ayahuasca must have done a number on me.
 
See if the dreams persist or not.

Might just be some stress from a traumatic experience. This can have repercussions that last a while even if spirits arent involved. Traumatic experience can have a powerful effect on people.

Could also be that you opened yourself up for a spirit intrusion... This can happen with large doses of Ayahuasca done without protection in place. That is why in traditional ceremony there are multiple songs sung at the start of ceremony just for protecting the space, and even after that the curandero keeps a watchful eye out because protections arent full proof.

Sometimes these things fade with time as long as you arent doing more psychedelics... If it persists then I would look into a more traditional style ceremony if possible.
 
The side effects of high dose, or repeated low - normal doses of harmalas taken orally can last for weeks in rare occasions in my experience. I think that with high doses or repeated(I amm talking daily use of vine for a year in my case) dosing over prolonged period can catalyze a bio-chemical shift in the body and it takes a while to re-normalize after that. I feel that when you get into this territory is when the diet issue really becomes an issue.

The weird/creepy/frightening/sometimes mystical dreams happened for at least a month solid. I also experienced nausea, fatigue and vertigo the whole time throughout the day, and the dreams were so vivid at night I never felt like I got any rest.

This was after drinking one really overpowering dose of ayahuasca, after a year of frequent use and daily microdosing. I normalized...you should as well. It is typical for me after one normal dose(100g of vine for example) to experience a shift in my sleep quality for 2-3 nights, and mild nausea with slight vertigo can last 1-2 days even sometimes.

You should be okay.
 
Sorry to hear you had such a difficult experience.

Squatting Bear said:
Something completely took over my mind and thoughts and i had no control over anything.
Click to expand...

Squatting Bear said:
I don't see how anyone could possibly navigate or control this dimension.
Click to expand...

This is a pretty accurate description of what DMT seems to do to me, it takes you where it takes you. I still really struggle because my mind still tries desperately to fight and that only makes things get darker as it can't - it is easy for me to get panic-y.
 
"I don't see how anyone could possibly navigate or control this dimension" You don't. Let it consume you. I can sympathize with you brother. My first ayahuasca trip was a massive dose in ceremony. Like full on breakthrough level and I can't begin to describe to anyone who hasn't been there the levels of fucked up and disturbing that was. Ayahuasca can be brutal. But imo, it is ultimately one of the most powerful guides. Not a thing for recreation. But if you continue on that path you'll soon see it's not ayahuasca that's torturing you, it's you. Fighting the path of least resistance in fear of being consumed by the unknown. But such is life. We don't choose it. It moves through us, moves us through it, and we simply make peace with it.

It took me months to comprehend that and when i went back to ayahuasca it was still extraordinarily difficult to let go but i had a much more pleasant experience
 
Squatting Bear said:
I just took a really big dose of ayahuasca for the 2nd time. Let me tell you people I seen true evil.
Click to expand...
But... but... the hippies said it was all love and light!!1 Haha, been there, done that, multiple times. The danger arises when naive Western people (like me) take the drugs of natives outside of their cultural context. I haven't taken Aya for years now, but once the occasion arises again, I going to predose with some Lorazepam. Benzos really add benefits to my lysergic trips and admixtures are common with Aya.

Hopefully scientists in the future will engineer a pharmahuasca, that has the 5HT2A agonism, a longer MAOI component duration (min. 8h), an axiolytic GABA component, artifical Red Bull flavour and some sugar. 😁 I call it iUasca (patent pending). The difference will be like shooting a monkey from a tree with a blowgun for breakfeast vs. ordering a vegan dinner with your smartphone from the drone delivery service.
 
Ufostrahlen said:
But... but... the hippies said it was all love and light!!1 Haha, been there, done that, multiple times. The danger arises when naive Western people (like me) take the drugs of natives outside of their cultural context.
Click to expand...

Let me tell you the cultural context was literally the only thing that saved me. Entering it as a westerner is like being a naive tourist. You can read all you want, learn all the factoids, and blow up your intellect and ego thinking you know what you're in for, but when you get your ass kicked there's nothing better than having several thousand years of tradition carried on by loving and experienced folk to break the fall. I'd love to work with aya on my own some time, but it demands a lot more respect than any other entheogen i've played with. This is one of those substances that i feel the vast majority of people are better off not preparing on their own.
 
Squatting Bear said:
I just took a really big dose of ayahuasca for the 2nd time. Let me tell you people I seen true evil . I was mentally tortured for 6 hours straight and it enjoyed it. This is coming from a man that was a atheist. I'm not a atheist anymore. I may never take ayahuasca again. About 3 months ago i did it in a ceremony at a native American church in the states. Knowing that the church was most likely illegal I decided to make it myself. My first experience with the medicine It started out beautiful but the last 20 min of the peak was like one big panic attack, its like i was paying for all the evil i did in this life. I didn't think much of it because I have used mushrooms and LSD in the past with nothing but positive experiences. I decided to smoke some freebase dmt and It was truly a out of body experience but Its so intense and over so quickly that I got nothing out of it. Because of not trusting this church and not getting anything out of the dmt freebase i decided to brew up some medicine and do it in my room by myself. I turned on some happy Meditation music and took 3 doses at once like a idiot. At first it was great and everything was truly beautiful. After the first 45 min I started to think about sad memories, family and the people i have hurt emotionally in my life. That go's on for about a hour and then my hallucinations started to get more intense even when i closed my eyes i couldn't escape it. I remember looking up at my ceiling and i seen a face. This face started to smile at me as if it was waiting for me. This entity opened its mouth and i seen sharp teeth. I closed my eyes to escape it and when I did I seen 2 snakes slithering around each other. Right after seeing the snakes Something completely took over my mind and thoughts and i had no control over anything. This entity mentally tortured me for hours and i would have done anything to make it stop.the spirit world doesn't necessarily seem like a people friendly place. I don't see how anyone could possibly navigate or control this dimension. There are things in this place that can even control your thoughts. people need to be careful.
Click to expand...

I am glad I am not the only one who has had a difficult time with Ayahuasca. It can seem so real,but it is all illusions. Don't buy into the sideshow.
 
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