blig-blug's Ayahuasca experience log

[northape]

Maybe it's a bit of strange advice, but look into astrology a bit. Nothing advanced, just moon phases and maybe the Tibetan calendar.
Full moons and new moons are special. Tibetans have a whole calendar for spiritual practice, and you can find some very energetic days there.
The deeper you go, the more it all opens up, and you see that not all this stuff is woo-woo. The materialistic West just disregards everything we can't measure.

Sometimes medicine gives you time off to reflect on lessons from previous sessions, and then it's a test later on.
Oh, and this test can come up in ordinary sober life, by the way. So keep your presence of mind at all times. Peace.

 

[blig-blug]

look into astrology a bit. Nothing advanced, just moon phases and maybe the Tibetan calendar.
Full moons and new moons are special. Tibetans have a whole calendar for spiritual practice, and you can find some very energetic days there.
The deeper you go, the more it all opens up, and you see that not all this stuff is woo-woo

I will pay attention to it. I'm quite open to the idea that the moon phases could have an effect. After all, before electric light, a full moon night was very different from a night with no moon. And it seems that in the past women's cycles used to be synchronized with it. So it doesn't seem that far fetched that there would be more parts of us tuned to it. No one would doubt the effects of the yearly sun cycles in our bodies and minds. I'll bear it in mind and see what I find. This last trip was the first night of crescent moon.

Oh, and this test can come up in ordinary sober life, by the way. So keep your presence of mind at all times.

Always a good idea to do so We'll see what comes now.

I appreciate your thoughtful advice!

 

[blig-blug]

XV log update:

Dose: 230mg harmala freebase @ T-00:30 + 40mg DMT freebase @ T+00:00 + 37mg DMT @ T+1:45. In orange juice, with empty stomach (seven hours fasted). Ate half a slice of bread with the first DMT dose.

It's difficult to write about this experience, not because it was overly challenging but because many many different topics from my life came up, in a quite unstructured way. I will try to write about some of the insights I had, but it would be very hard to situate them temporally, I'm not really sure which ones came before after which other ones, or at what point of the experience. I do know most of them are from after the second dose. More than a report of the experience, it will be a report of the realizations, as this time I remember those much better than the experiences that lead to them.

I will first get out of the way one that I really feel like an idiot for not having considered about. When the now typical effects of feeling overheated (less than other times, but it also was colder), muscle tension, pain in my right eye, and dry mouth came, I followed the dry mouth feelings and suddenly the idea that I was eating way too much salt came to my mind. Even in that situation I was able to quickly realize that it was actually true, and after the experience I have checked the numbers and yes, I'm eating salt considerably above what's considered safe. Most guidelines put the limit at 6g salt, and I'm eating between 10g and 15g daily, and have been doing so for several months (I realize now). The cause is mainly the amounts of cheese I eat: while it's good quality cheese with only milk, ferments, and salt, the amount of salt added is clearly added with the idea of having much smaller amounts of it. In hindsight, this was obvious almost without checking, but somehow I never considered it. So it's very likely that this could be one of the main causes of some of the physical discomfort (and I'm aware that traditional dietary restrictions recommend reducing salt below normal levels). I'm very grateful for having been made to realize this before it had time to cause health problems, and I realize that I'm not well attuned to my body. I don't know how differences in nutrition make me feel (other than some very basics), and I realized that I assume that when people talk about it it's some kind of metaphor. Now I know that it's likely true. The topic of me not treating my body with respect and care has come up before, and it's time I take it more seriously.

Then, there was the topic of loneliness. This also had been hinted at in past experiences, and this time it was one of the main topics. I felt very, very lonely, but not in a physical way, but in an emotional way. I realized I had been feeling that way since I was a little kid, probably because of the emotional distance that my parents often had for me, and also the distance other kids kept from me. Again, in the latter case it was not physical distance, or even not interacting with me. They did interact and the interactions were usually friendly (except with older kids, but that's a different topic), but it was always clear that I wasn't seen as a peer, but more like tolerated as an oddity. In turn, I assumed that distance, and learned to emotionally distance myself from others, and to fear close emotional contact.

The other main topic was "living in a trance". Again, this is not the first time this topic appeared, but it was more relevant this time. I saw how, despite my improvements, most often I get through the day as in a trance, a trance meant to avoid discomfort and pain, to avoid insight, and to avoid reacting flexibly to situations. I saw how I very often seek to get entranced (for example, by the Internet), particularly when difficult emotions appear. I saw how everyone nowadays does it too, and even how the so-called "popular" music (meaning the industrial "popular" music, not the traditional one) is meant to induce that entrancement. I had some interesting experiences of the human mind of an infant, how its wholeness was progressively broken down and many calming, conforming, and entrancing internal discourses and voices ended up appearing and taking over. I also had some insights on related social matters, such as the link between the downfall of the father figure and the adoption of the State in its place, and the conversion of adulthood into a state of the more negative, dependent aspects of childhood. I don't want to live in a trance, and as in many other aspects, it's time I go further out of my comfort zone, on a daily basis. I'm resolved to strengthen my meditation practice and my mindfulness.

From the two previous topics, I also realized that I have to embrace being vulnerable and honest to myself if I aspire to diminish the chokehold of the different social trances on me. That also means coming to terms with the whole of my mind, accepting the existence of many biases and reactions that I dislike. I want to dissolve some of those, but I realized that letting guilt and shame lead me into covering them up won't help. Ignoring them won't help, only by acknowledging them will I be able to dissolve them. I will provide a (deeply embarrassing and shameful to me) example, and I ask any reader to understand what I'm explaining instead of projecting anything else on it, as it's a sensitive topic: I'm currently in a very small village, with around 10 inhabitants in the winter and around 100 in the peak of the summer. A few days ago I saw a black man walking around, and while I rationally have absolutely no problem with it, and I don't want to have any problem with it, I felt quite surprised, as that is the first time I have seen a black man here (not in the cities, of course). If I had been able to acknowledge my surprise to myself and understand it, there would likely have been no negative emotional undertones, but as I immediately felt guilty and embarrassed about my surprise, I tried to ignore the surprise and pretend it hadn't happened, and it left me feeling confused and embarrassed, and something in me wanted to blame that man for those negative emotions, instead of acknowledging that they come from me. In that way, something that could have been completely neutral and normal (being surprised at something unexpected is not negative by itself) became shrouded in negative feelings and temptations to blame the other. I saw all this sequence happen, and I'm determined to not let guilt and shame prevent me from acknowledging my reactions. If there are reactions I dislike, I will only be able to change them if I'm able to look at them as they are.

There were some interesting points in the experience where I was able to get rid of my rationalizing and conceptualizing mind and its monologue with some focus on the raw experience itself. Next time, I will put some emphasis on practicing this during the experience, as it goes on the same lines as my meditation practice, and I believe it will be very beneficial. I also may up the harmala dose a little bit to extend the period where this is easy (I already upped the DMT a little bit this time).

 

[northape]

I'm eating salt considerably above what's considered safe.

This could be an issue. You need to test it to know for sure.

The topic of me not treating my body with respect and care has come up before, and it's time I take it more seriously.

Yeah, medicine likes to preach about the body and how we need to treat it right. This body is our temple for as long as we are alive.

Then, there was the topic of loneliness.

Oh, look at the people here. Most of us are far from normal. People who feel fine in life never question anything.
I started to see my problems and shortcomings as fuel for the road. Knowing about your character kind of fixes it.

The other main topic was "living in a trance".

I only started to understand about wisdom traditions after the medicine.
Medicine disrupts any solid structures and teaches impermanence in every session.
It's amusing to see people's biases later on and how they defend their illusory ideas.

I'm resolved to strengthen my meditation practice and my mindfulness.

Sure, that's the way. This whole reality is dreamlike. Just as with lucid dreaming, we need to develop clarity to see what's going on.
However, don't be too hard / serious on yourself. We fall in reality by relaxing into it. Tightness comes from our egos and serves its master.

I'm currently in a very small village, with around 10 inhabitants in the winter and around 100 in the peak of the summer. A few days ago I saw a black man walking around, and while I rationally have absolutely no problem with it, and I don't want to have any problem with it, I felt quite surprised, as that is the first time I have seen a black man here (not in the cities, of course). If I had been able to acknowledge my surprise to myself and understand it, there would likely have been no negative emotional undertones, but as I immediately felt guilty and embarrassed about my surprise, I tried to ignore the surprise and pretend it hadn't happened, and it left me feeling confused and embarrassed, and something in me wanted to blame that man for those negative emotions, instead of acknowledging that they come from me. In that way, something that could have been completely neutral and normal (being surprised at something unexpected is not negative by itself) became shrouded in negative feelings and temptations to blame the other. I saw all this sequence happen, and I'm determined to not let guilt and shame prevent me from acknowledging my reactions. If there are reactions I dislike, I will only be able to change them if I'm able to look at them as they are.

Haha, the West brainwashes us all into this pattern of thinking. Simply seeing your own reactions is a cure; you're already on the other side.
All you need is patience and time to fix this thought-worm. People are people, no matter their color, race, language, or anything else.
We don't judge birds or trees; it was a learned cultural behavior. As Terence McKenna said: Culture is not your friend.

There were some interesting points in the experience where I was able to get rid of my rationalizing and conceptualizing mind and its monologue with some focus on the raw experience itself. Next time, I will put some emphasis on practicing this during the experience, as it goes on the same lines as my meditation practice, and I believe it will be very beneficial.

Experiment and try to find your own approach. It's the same as with Dharma:
Someday we need to put all the books and teachings aside, sit, and find for ourselves what is what here.
Much Love

 

[blig-blug]

You need to test it to know for sure.

I will take some tests once I go back to a less rural area, I haven't had a health checkup in many years and many things have changed in my body in that time, so it's a good idea anyways. However I will stop eating that much salt right now, those amounts are unlikely to be good, and eating more normal amounts can't hurt.

Oh, look at the people here. Most of us are far from normal. People who feel fine in life never question anything.

For sure, that's why I feel comfortable talking about these topics here. I don't usually feel that loneliness anymore, but I used to feel it a lot and I think I never acknowledged it properly. So it's good that I can now feel it, observe it and neither drown in it nor criticize it.

Medicine disrupts any solid structures and teaches impermanence in every session.

It was similar in my case. One also can see well how wanting to stop the flow of mind and reality leads to dissatisfaction and suffering. Same with trying to alter it in a forceful way. One can alter its course, but more like a skilled surfer or boatman would use the natural forces in his advantage. Or how vultures use air currents to get where they want, they don't try to change the currents or make them stop.

However, don't be too hard / serious on yourself. We fall in reality by relaxing into it. Tightness comes from our egos and serves its master.

Thank you for this reminder. The balance between forcefulness and loss of awareness is delicate. I suppose that's what "right effort" means.
What I intend to do is improve my sati, my ability to remember, wake up, and look. In the past I have derived a lot of benefit from doing that every time I remember, more than from long sessions of meditation (there it's easy for me to get too tight, as you say). I will look at it now also from the perspective of "breaking the trance".

Haha, the West brainwashes us all into this pattern of thinking. Simply seeing your own reactions is a cure; you're already on the other side.
All you need is patience and time to fix this thought-worm.

Yes, it's kind of like a mind parasite. This specific one is very centered on guilt and shame, and as those have been taught to me since I was a child, I'm particularly vulnerable to them. And without that guilt and shame there would be no problem. If I had seen someone wearing an unusual attire I would have been equally surprised, but I wouldn't have given a second thought to the question (I suppose other people may care more about clothes). But I was "supposed" to feel guilty of my surprise here and I did, trying to deny it existed to begin with. It was interesting to see a seed of resentment there, it gave me some insight into the people that go on to develop said resentment. Very often the people we dislike or that annoy us do so because they bring to light something in us that we dislike. I have often observed how character traits that I find annoying are traits that I have shown at some point or may show to a point, and said annoyance was the fear of showing them again. As you say, the cure is seeing the reactions and not feeding them more with additional negative feelings and judgements.

Experiment and try to find your own approach. It's the same as with Dharma:
Someday we need to put all the books and teachings aside, sit, and find for ourselves what is what here.

Beautifully said.

As always, thank you for your comments. Aside from the value of the comments themselves, there's also the value of seeing other people walking a similar path. We may pick this or that particular trail, and stop to drink from this or that fountain, but the general direction is the same and that's good to know

 

[blig-blug]

XVI log update:

Dose: 230mg harmala freebase @ T-00:30 + 90ml (equivalent to 3g MHRB) mimosa cold water extract @ T+00:00. With empty stomach (early morning). Ate half a slice of bread with the mimosa brew.

This experience came after a longer interval of time than usual, as there have been some changes this weeks: my girlfriend left to spend a couple months visiting her family. So in the process I didn't have a good moment for an experience until a few days ago. This time, I was interested in seeing if a mimosa CWE would prevent the excessive stomach pains I usually get from mimosa that made me start having pharmahuasca instead.

The effects started in a much subtler way than with pharmahuasca. With pharmahuasca, the onset of effects and the peak are usually close, and the come-up is relatively fast and intense. In this case, the onset started with the feeling that there were some shapes, although I couldn't see them. Little by little shapes started forming. They were 3D, very high definition and detailed, but dark in colors and sometimes hard to see. But even when I couldn't see them well, I could "feel" their shape, position, and movement. I remember a strange mix between a cup and a vase that had rings rotating around it. Those rings had something written in a script that resembled some kind of RTL version of the Tibetan script. While this kind of visuals dominated, the mental effects were perceived as very light, without much particular insight.

As those figures developed, I started having more and more stomach pain. It was a pain that in the whole stomach area, with occasional bouts of more intense pain. At one point, I asked myself how would I rate that pain from 0 to 10, and "7" came immediately to my mind. Sounds about right, it was a pretty bad pain.

The visions started becoming more prominent. Their style, when compared to most of my pharmahuasca ones, was quite different: they looked quite realistic in style instead of looking more typically "psychedelic". So to speak, they were more in the style of an (hyperrealistic) Amaringo instead of an Alex Grey. They were predominantly blue, tridimensional, and had a dreamlike quality. I remember seeing an old woman extending her hands towards me. I also started seeing very realistic and little by little more colorful landscapes with mountains, trees, and lakes or the sea.

At one point, I started having very immersive, colorful and realistic visions that covered my entire visual field. For example, at one point I saw a totally realistic (except for the very highly saturated color) wooden floor that covered my entire visual field, as if I was looking down. I later realized that it was the wooden floor of one of the houses I lived at as a child. However these visuals were constantly interrupted by strong bouts of pain that made me twist, breaking them. A couple of times, when the pain was less for a longer period of time, I became immersed in visions while losing awareness of it. For example, at one point I was relaxing in my kitchen downstairs holding a box of cereal and looking at it, wondering why "the brew was causing absolutely no effects", until I suddenly some pain came and I realized it was a vision, and it dissolved. I was surprised at having lost awareness in that way, and at how realistic the vision was: the only difference from reality was a yellowish hue.
At a different point, I was using some kind of smartphone, and I was trying to turn off a setting that had some kind of cosmic relevance. I got more and more frustrated with the confusing menus in said phone, turning on and off many different settings, until I couldn't remember what setting I was even looking for, and I realized again it was a vision, not reality.
I'm quite surprised by how easily I lost awareness of being under the effects of a substance, and how realistic the visions were. It would have been even more interesting if the pain hadn't been interrupting it constantly.

At one point, I tried to vomit, I was sure the vomit was coming because I got some nausea and I had started salivating. But there was no vomit, just some dry heaving. It alleviated my pain for a short while, but then it came back. In general, I had very little nausea, most of it was just pain.

Towards the end, I had some insights about my relationship with my mother, about the topic of loneliness (expected, as my girlfriend had recently left), and about the importance and value of human interaction and human relationships. Again, the pain was constantly interrupting that process, and my recall of those insights is not very good. I do think the most important parts stayed with me.

The effects were now lower, so I decided to get up and go downstairs. I thought the effects would be over fast now, as with pharmahuasca once I can start moving it means that the effects are going to disappear soon. However, I spent an hour downstairs thinking about different topics of a more social or philosophical nature with less strong but still quite noticeable effects. Among other topics, I was thinking about the significant amount of people that indignantly claim that prisoners have such a good life in prison (they're talking about Spanish prisons, not US ones), as they have beds, food, and "even TV". I thought that the reason they think it's such a good life is because their ideal society is very much a prison, with different amenities ("even TV!"), surveillance ("so bad people are caught and punished"), and no freedom. I could see how that's the mindset of someone afraid, hopeless, and defeated.

In the end, the experience lasted about 4 hours. That's much longer than a single dose of pharma (around 2h) or my past experiences with mimosa (around 2.5h). So it may be that the CWE has extracted yuremamine, and it has prolonged the experience. I'm very interested in more experiences with mimosa, but I'll have to find a less painful way to take it. And by the way, I realize now in the past I've been often calling pain "nausea". I have lived most of my life with little awareness of my bodily feelings or processess beyond "good" and "bad", so my ability to discriminate between bodily sensations is not too good yet. This has been improving a lot lately.

 

[Tumupasa]

First time I took Ayahuasca was purely realistic visions, I thought this was how Ayahuasca visions were, but this experience was finally quite unique in its style.

I was thinking of adding mimosa tea to my "changa-huasca" sessions, to reach a constant DMT buzz threshold that I can boost with smoking changa but I'm affraid it would ruin the experience with stomach pains. Even though I'm not against nausea and purge, stomach spasms and pains are something else, for sure. Maybe I'll just add oral spice taken in orange juice.

 

[northape]

I thought that the reason they think it's such a good life is because their ideal society is very much a prison, with different amenities ("even TV!"), surveillance ("so bad people are caught and punished"), and no freedom. I could see how that's the mindset of someone afraid, hopeless, and defeated.

Society is an open prison. It's been designed that way for hundreds of years. The more I work with psychedelics, the more I understand that people have no idea what freedom truly is. We are brainwashed from early childhood into being well-behaved consumers. It's very rare for a person to wake up to that fact, and close to impossible to hold onto that knowledge without forgetting.

I have lived most of my life with little awareness of my bodily feelings or processess beyond "good" and "bad", so my ability to discriminate between bodily sensations is not too good yet. This has been improving a lot lately.

Medicine will develop your sensitivity, intellect, and awareness. This will happen whether you want it to or not.

I'm quite surprised by how easily I lost awareness of being under the effects of a substance, and how realistic the visions were. It would have been even more interesting if the pain hadn't been interrupting it constantly.

Do you see how this resembles basic mindfulness practice? I think most of these so-called meditations are quite natural.
If we willingly train ourselves, concentration and presence develop. Medicine is an awesome tool for that, and you can strengthen these pathways in a sober meditation.

Too much pain isn't good; it steals your attention. While working through pain can certainly mature you, it's unnecessary suffering.
I'll reiterate my egg-white filtration process. Perhaps you can find some hints there:

1. Cook your mimosa tea and coarsely filter it through a sieve. Let it sit overnight.

2. Filter your tea through a cotton ball.

The general rule for egg-white filtration is 1 egg white per 1 liter of brew. I usually have 1.5 liters of mimosa tea and use 2 egg whites for better tannin removal.
The brew also needs to be slightly acidic. Make sure you use cookware with at least twice the volume of your brew, as it will foam significantly.
3. Add egg whites to your cold, filtered brew and stir well. You should get a milky brew.

4. Set it on a hot plate and bring it to a boil. I like to boil it a bit extra (about 5 minutes) for all the egg whites to coagulate.
Stir occasionally during the process. You should see a clear separation between the egg whites with tannins and your tea.

5. Filter it warm through 2-3 coffee filters. Reduce the liquid to a drinking volume.

6. You can let it sit in a fridge for a few days and then filter out the sludge. Reboil it before use and add honey.
You can add enough honey for it to become closer to a syrup (1-2tsp per 300ml). This allows for much easier absorption.

 

[blig-blug]

I'm affraid it would ruin the experience with stomach pains

You should try, it seems to vary a lot from one person to the next. My girlfriend has a more delicate stomach and has never gotten any stomach pain from mimosa, even when there was some accidental sludge there. Whereas I tend to get quite a lot of pain from tannins. You could try a low dose first to see how your body reacts.

Maybe I'll just add oral spice taken in orange juice.

That's also a good option, although the experience is quite different.

Do you see how this resembles basic mindfulness practice?

Yes, totally. It's very similar but with extreme feedback, in that proper focus gets excellent results, and distractions get you much more lost and disoriented.

Thank you for taking your time in writing down your way to do mimosa egg tek, I'll try it. It also will be interesting to see if there actually was a difference with CWE that could be attributed to yuremamine: maybe I just more sensitive to the brew, or the contrast with pharmahuasca was more clear (I had never had pharma the other times I had mimosa). I'll have to buy coffee filters next time I go to the village where the stores are.

As a positive, with CWE I had full effects and they came on quick. It could also just be good luck.

 

[northape]

Yes, totally. It's very similar but with extreme feedback, in that proper focus gets excellent results, and distractions get you much more lost and disoriented.

Yep, it's very in your face. I think anyone would get the message and what it implies.

Thank you for taking your time in writing down your way to do mimosa egg tek, I'll try it.

You should end up with a tea similar to a fine cognac, with a reddish hint.
By "2-3 coffee filters," I meant stuck together one in one. Use a plastic utensil when you stir, or egg whites will stick to it.
You can even use 2 egg whites per 1 liter; just boil it all well before filtering. Best of luck

 

[Transform]

Add egg whites to your cold, filtered brew and stir well. You should get a milky brew.

4. Set it on a hot plate and bring it to a boil. I like to boil it a bit extra (about 5 minutes) for all the egg whites to coagulate.
Stir occasionally during the process. You should see a clear separation between the egg whites with tannins and your tea.

I'm wondering if an actual boil is competely necessary. Poaching eggs only requires 72°C to be reached, or thereabouts. Some more experiments are necessary. I'd also be pleased if the eggwhite were to set up like a lump of very delicate cheese curd, which could then be set to drain in a fine sieve before further filtering. This way, some of the CWE's special qualitative effects might be preserved (if @blig-blug's experience wasn't merely a coincidental result of, say, emotional upheaval). Yuremamine, being a flavone-alkaloid, might get pulled out with the tannins, however.

That said, the TnT vodka extract seemed to have some qualititative differences compared with isolated alkaloid so I'd be incined to suggest that some of the flavonoids or their reaction products remain in solution after microwaving with vodka (~85°C) and subsequent lime treatment, if that's a useful comparison.

We should remember, certain flavonoids have MAOI properties, or other CNS-relevant modes of action. This will modulate the effects of the various different, more or less crude extracts.

 

[blig-blug]

I'm wondering if an actual boil is competely necessary. Poaching eggs only requires 72°C to be reached, or thereabouts. Some more experiments are necessary. I'd also be pleased if the eggwhite were to set up like a lump of very delicate cheese curd, which could then be set to drain in a fine sieve before further filtering. This way, some of the CWE's special qualitative effects might be preserved (if @blig-blug's experience wasn't merely a coincidental result of, say, emotional upheaval). Yuremamine, being a flavone-alkaloid, might get pulled out with the tannins, however.

That said, the TnT vodka extract seemed to have some qualititative differences compared with isolated alkaloid so I'd be incined to suggest that some of the flavonoids or their reaction products remain in solution after microwaving with vodka (~85°C) and subsequent lime treatment, if that's a useful comparison.

We should remember, certain flavonoids have MAOI properties, or other CNS-relevant modes of action. This will modulate the effects of the various different, more or less crude extracts.

Excellent info and suggestions as always. Over time I'm going to keep exploring the whole "problem space of mimosa brewing methods" until finding a local optimum that's good enough for my stomach, so I'll try both ways of cooking the egg, and also the vodka method.

By the way, do you think egg is likely to mostly remove other flavonoids besides tannins? For what I read, PVPP seems to remove flavonoids in general, and I wonder if that means that the egg tek would do so too.

Also, could it be that some of the difference in effects between Mimosa and pure DMT are due to NMT? I've seen it called "spatial" in its effects, and it could explain the naturalistic 3D character of these visions (as opposed to the 2D character of lower doses of DMT, that turns into very extreme, computer-like 3D at higher doses) and the perception of whole figures that I could only partially see.

 

[Transform]

J

By the way, do you think egg is likely to mostly remove other flavonoids besides tannins? For what I read, PVPP seems to remove flavonoids in general, and I wonder if that means that the egg tek would do so too.

I'm not sure - maybe the more heavily hydroxylated ones will precipitate more readily, whereas methylated ones and ones with fewer substituents will remain in solution (if they're even that soluble in the first place - there's a whole lot of data to check here; I may even have to bite the bullet and resort to LLM summarisation).

 

[blig-blug]

XVII log update:

Dose: 50g B. muricata (50ml brew) @ T-00:30 + 40mg DMT freebase @ T+00:00 + 30mg DMT freebase @ T+01:20. With empty stomach (early morning).

I had a good opportunity to get some Banisteriopsis muricata, and I was very curious to see how it compares to rue and rue alkaloids. I made a 250g batch with a 3x3h brewing, reducing to 1g/ml.

The brew looked so bad that it made my stomach turn just from imagining drinking it, so I avoided doing so for a couple of days. But I was in need of an Ayahuasca experience to orient myself in my current, new situation of being sometimes alone in my village, sometimes with my parents visiting, that will last until mid September.

So this morning I bit the bullet and drank the brew early in the morning. Surprisingly the flavor was actually almost good, it had a touch of cinnamon, it's probably the most palatable of all the Ayahuasca-like liquids I've had (I imagine I will start liking it less as I drink it more).

The dose turned out to be lower than I would have liked (or this batch not strong enough), so the experience was milder than my usual ones. That makes it somewhat difficult to compare vine to 230mg rue alkaloids, as the doses aren't similar. So some of my observations could be just due to the lower dose.

The vine seemed to be gentler and less "pushy" than rue alkaloids. The effect seemed to creep upon me instead of coming up like a steamroller. It seemed to cause more nausea for the dose, but that's not much of a problem, as it didn't cause stomach pain. I expect at a fuller dose I'll purge and feel better afterwards.

For the dose, the experience surprisingly caused a lot of internal visions, and barely any closed eye visuals or geometry. The visions were quite colorful, and at some points there were intense flashes of red color. During the first half of the experience they changed fast and were disconnected, but for the second half (DMT redose) they were much more solid. There was a lot of interplay between these visions and my thoughts during the second part, I seemed to be able to almost control them.

During the experience, I reflected on my feelings of inferiority regarding my ability to write software, and realized that they are an important reason for my procrastination with my final project. I also could see that it doesn't matter much (at least for now) if I'm worse at it than others: I know I can complete the project, and delaying it more will make it more difficult with no benefits.

In the second part, I started seeing the different abstractions and components of my code interacting, and I also could see the results of their execution. I lost awareness at some points there and was fully immersed in it. More than the actual code, I think I was exposed to my internal model for it, and apparently some variations were being tried. I didn't have any new ideas or solutions, but I'm sure this experience will prove positive for the code, as I think I understand it better now. It also allowed me to think about it and see it without emotional roadblocks.

The experience lasted only about 3 hours, probably due to the lower MAOI effects, but there was a lot of time dilation. At the end the effects disappeared faster than other times. I was left feeling calm, happy, and full of wellbeing.

This has been a very positive experience, and with a new substance I prefer too low of a dose than too high. The afterglow is very very good, only that would already be worth it. Next time, I'll have 75g instead of 50g, I think.

My impression is that using vine could provide the depth that was missing for a pure alkaloid pharmahuasca. Using mimosa did that too, but the stomach pain makes it inadequate for me (until I find how to avoid it). And so far vine brew seems to sit with me better than rue tea. We'll see if that is really the case when I have higher doses.

 

[Tumupasa]

This has been a very positive experience, and with a new substance I prefer too low of a dose than too high. The afterglow is very very good, only that would already be worth it. Next time, I'll have 75g instead of 50g, I think.

Glad you had a good "first-contact" with the vine, I'm a partisan of caapi, it has this reassuring vibe that helps a lot when the visuals become much more present and sometimes inevitably overwhelming.

 

[northape]

It's a very good start, I'd say. My only suggestion is to drink some vine brew when redosing DMT.
For example, try drinking 50g of the brew along with your second DMT dose. It will significantly enhance your experience.
Alternatively, you could take 75g for your initial dose and 25g for a redose. I always redose with harmalas as it adds more force to the experience.
Now that you're familiar with the strength of your brew, you can adjust it accordingly. All the best

 

[Jamie01]

The first time I drank muricata it felt stronger than caapi. That was placebo though as it’s always been a bit weaker or lighter than some caapi strains every other time.

Some vine is actually more harmaline dominant like rue. Some will make you vomit more or others not really much at all.

In general muricata is on the lighter side for myself anyway.

 

[northape]

I have a very strong muricata from Ecuador right now. 50g is all you need and going beyond that puts everything on the line.
It becomes a test of sanity and willpower. However, it's cooked with chaliponga, which many describe as wild.
With some caapi strains, I've needed as much as 250g to have a good ceremony.

 

[blig-blug]

My only suggestion is to drink some vine brew when redosing DMT.

Yes, I think I'll do this. This time it would definitely have helped, but I didn't think about it beforehand so it was already too late to measure a second dose.

Some vine is actually more harmaline dominant like rue.

I didn't know it could vary that much between strains/batches, thanks for the info. This one definitely felt less pushy than the equivalent dose of pure rue harmalas, and it didn't have any stimulation to it.

I must say that the provider I got this from is not too good in general, but it was a good opportunity to test the waters with vine. In the future I'll order for a provider that I trust much more.

 

[Tumupasa]

I have a very strong muricata from Ecuador right now. 50g is all you need and going beyond that puts everything on the line.
It becomes a test of sanity and willpower. However, it's cooked with chaliponga, which many describe as wild.
With some caapi strains, I've needed as much as 250g to have a good ceremony.

Do you cook the vine with just a few leaves of Chaliponga and then, have another DMT source (mimosa, freebase etc...) or is it a "true" ayahuasca brew? Just curious since i cooked caapi with a few grams of chaliponga this morning, and I really don't know wat to expect