Bombsaway Introduction

[bombsaway]

Hello Nexus Members,

My name is bombsaway; a self selected name at age five and it stuck.

I am new to this forum and new to spice. Like some on here, my introduction to psychedelics took place through music in my late teens and 20's. Unfortunately, I didn't see these powerful tools (thus entheogens) until my late 20's and instead used them mostly to party. A regret I now hold. I had experimented with LSD around 75-100 times but didn't fully grasp the power these tools afford in the domain of personal growth and healing.

Later on I did have some amazing moments but these moments always came when I was alone, with my eyes closed, in a more meditative state. When I saw rainbow colored vines growing inside my mind with what I'll call, a written language, scribed into the vines it was a life changing experience. When I initially saw the language on the vines I tried to get a closer look.
At that moment the symbols lit up in a gold color and shot off the vines filling my field of vision (still with my eyes closed, but inside my mind). The symbols started to project off the vines and move towards me in rapid bursts almost smacking me - filling my vision one after another in succession. It was as if these symbols wanted me to see them - then it ended. After that experience, rather than delve back in, I grew up a bit. I became more responsible but also incredibly curious as to what I saw. Did other people see "a language" in an altered state? Was it a real language from the past? Was it a known language from a foreign place or a fictional work? Was it a language at all? I've never talked to anyone about this and am still curious.

Fast forward to years later and life was not so great. Bad habits had crept in, debt from graduate school was crippling me, and I'd moved cities to better my situation but lost contact with friends. However, an old friend gifted me spice as I was curious about what kind of experiences one could have with it. On my first venture into the unknown I had possibly my most powerful human experience.

At home on my couch I decided to try and connect with spice. I'd read some Nick Sand and thought intent going in was important. While I didn't have a concrete idea or specific goal, I simply prayed that this plant show me what was out there - what is this thing we call life? I took one hit and realized this was much, much different than mushrooms or LSD. On the second hit I heard the loud buzzing and was approaching the tunnel. But then on the third hit my contraption failed me and I couldn't get it to work. Rather than fuss about, I decided to lay back on the couch and at least enjoy the kaleidoscope in my living room.

As I was laying down on my couch I asked one more time, "Please show me something more" I said. A moment later a purple "blob" emerged from my stomach or chest region. It grew bigger fairly rapidly and took a somewhat humanoid shape. I nearly immediately said to myself, "hey that's my soul!" The object was just a head and body silhouette. No arms, or legs. I stared at it and didn't look back down at my body from where it emerged to see if it was still connected to me but I kind of wish I did. Rather quickly the object started to peer down at me and two growths appeared from either side of it's head. These growths started to take the shape of what I initially thought were horns. For a split second I became scared. Getting up off the couch crossed my mind momentarily but I decided to stay. The horns kept growing and then my mind told me they were not horns but rather "antenas." The antenas kept growing and then plugged into me. I believe they connected to my head as well but they were so far in my peripheral vision that I'm unsure where their endpoints were. I can't be certain but I believe the object then had gold stripes along with it's purple color. It peered down at me and I thought to myself, "oh - it's doing some sort of analysis." I let it do it's thing for a short time and then the journey was over. It was more real than real to me and for the first time in my life I felt I had a soul and that I mattered.

Was it a "breakthrough" if I never made it through the hyperspace tunnel? Was that my soul? Was it some kind of other entity? Was it real? (JK - I've read threads on waht is real on the Nexus and my brain doesn't have the capacity to add to that conversation).


I ended up gifting the remaining spice to a friend. I was moving cities and didn't want to travel with it. My friend had used spice in the past and had told me about his incredible breakthrough that made him look at the world differently (Bill now always says, "anything is possible" after his first breakthrough.)

The last few years have had some incredible life challenges. Some terrible life events occured and bad habits reformed. I always thought back to that day on the couch and the object that emerged out of me. It was such a powerful experience I decided to get more spice in my new city. And you want to know the funny thing Nexus world? Just by having the spice with me and knowing I could potentially have another experience I stopped my bad habits. To reiterate, not even using the spice, just knowing I've had it on hand, allowed me to break two habits that had been unbreakable for me.

This made me want to learn more and that's how I've come across the Nexus. My respect and ultimately love for spice has helped me realize that it is so powerful I almost feel as though it should be a religion of sorts to me.

I'd like to keep these bad habits at bay until I'm ready to go back in. I feel I'd be disrespectful to go back without putting in the work in this world and applying the lessons spice has bestowed in me.

I want to type more but this is just an introduction. This is not a substance to profit from. It's not for partying. It can teach and cure. Why oh why does humanity criminalize such a beautiful thing that can guide us?

If anyone wants to comment on what I've experienced I'm all ears. I know there are other travels here that are far more experienced.

Thank you,

Bombsaway

 

[ephedra]

Hi, how are u?

I especially like your introduction, seems very deep and enlightening experiences for your personal journey.

The language, it may resonate with me, of some intuitions that have emerged in my travels. Perhaps what I interpreted was a kind of connection with an ancestral pattern that communicated with me through symbols that I could decode or understand. It was a connection of perhaps a language, which belonged to a kind of archaic "nature".

I'm new here too, so we'll be crossing the forum!

 

[bombsaway]

Hi ephedra,

I'm doing well, hope you are too.

Regarding your interpretation of a connection to an ancestral pattern - is this something you have experienced multiple times?

For me it was just once but I stopped using LSD shorty after and never sat and concentrated like I had the day they appeared.

As far as spice goes - on the first exhale I had an almost instant feeling that I had been there before and was going back home. It felt all too familiar even though it was a first experience (or was it?).

So your word choices of "ancestral" and "archaic" resonates with me.

Welcome to the forum

 

[Tomtegubbe]

Welcome bombsaway! I remember there was some PC game in the 90's where this catchphrase occured. Terminal velocity, maybe?

I remember repeating at as a kid while swinging and imagining I'm flying a bomber

 

[Voidmatrix]

Ah! A refreshing introduction!

Welcome

I definitely have seen and continue to see and hear language in altered states that is completely unfamiliar and alien. Mainly on mushrooms and DMT. In one mushroom journey, every time I closed my eyes there was a top half of a circle with several rows. In each row were different symbols. In some of the rows, each symbol was hollow, and light projecting a symbol layered behind it would project other symbols out of the initial symbol of a given row. They all moved, even the ones in the back. Though I couldn't read it, it seemed like whatever was shown as a permutation of symbols at any given time was meant to be read in multiple manners simultaneously. Seemed a very evolved, complex, yet concise language.

The "being analyzed" portion resonates with me too, as I've had things enter my body, been inside scanning machines, etc, extracting certain details about me (or so it seems). It's hard not to think that other minds can be at work with this (I entertain all possibilities).

At the very least, that was a very strong sub-breakthrough from the way it sounds. And don't expect to see the tunnel when breaking through (or seeing it at all for that matter). DMT always has a trick up its sleeve. In a good way... mostly... :twisted:

Having the amount of reverence and respect you seem to already have sets you off well on your path with DMT my friend.

Pleasure to have you.

One love

 

[bombsaway]

Welcome bombsaway! I remember there was some PC game in the 90's where this catchphrase occured. Terminal velocity, maybe?

I remember repeating at as a kid while swinging and imagining I'm flying a bomber

Hi Tomtegubbe,

Nice, I don't know that game but I'll google it. I believe I got it from Petrie (the pterodactyl) from the cartoon The Land Before Time. He said "bombsaway" at some point in the movie and that's what my five year old brain thought would make a good middle name.

Liking this forum and reading a lot of interesting posts. Hope you have a good day

 

[Kobranek]

Great write up bombsaway, I enjoyed your introduction! I like your name as it could be used as a kind of mantra to give you that little extra nudge to be bold and brave. Right before blasting off just tell yourself, "Bombsaway!"

You had me laughing at not getting caught up in discussions that involve what is real! I agree and sit back and am entertained by how people love to put their spin on it and want others to see it the same. Sometimes people need to think less and smoalk more spice...haha!

In all honesty it's awesome that you have become disciplined in your changes that you have made. I know the feeling when your shown the mirror of yourself that ignites you to the core to improve your relationship with yourself to see who you truly are and not what you've been led to believe by others. DMT continues to defy every expectation that I have made and shows me what is needed and not what is wanted through the good and the bad. Limiting its potential through a religion will only defy itself and continue to shed itself time and time again. All expansive with a limitless potential!

 

[bombsaway]

Hi Voidmatrix,

Thanks for your reply. I didn't even know people experienced verbal language along with written language during altered states. The fact that you have, and continue to experience language is encouraging to me. The mushroom experience you described sounds amazing. I wonder what your instincts were telling you during that experience? You said it happened every time you closed your eyes so you must have had time to experience, reflect, then experience, and reflect some more. Interesting.

I did some research on the Nexus forums (as this website recommends in the attitude section) and came across some old threads related to language and the DMT experience.

Has anyone actually learnt the DMT language? (ancient glossolalia tongues) - DMT Discussion - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

and

Ancient Glossolalia learned and spoken through DMT experiences? - Philosophy - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus

After reading I have to admit I have mixed feelings. At first I was excited to read through other peoples experiences - it gives a sense of understanding and hope. On the other hand, I must admit I'm a little saddened when I read an exchange at the end of the second link between members fathomlessness and woogyboogy. I'll quote so not to take anyone out of context.

fathomlessness: "Either way, these theories are VERY RARELY discussed on the nexus which is an absolute crying shame because more than anything else (especially extraction method help) it is the most interesting thing to talk about with so many possibilities to consider. Also, it verges on the line of conspiracy theories which the forum has rules against even though it is about DMT discussion. It is sort of counter-beneficial though, because forum rules like that just promote the viewpoint of "lets not talk what could possibly be going on, but everyone smoke up, write trip reports and make your own decisions about what is going on and keep them in silence because we don't like generating conspiracy theories about it". I can see why it protects us though, we humans have a tendency to draw irrational conclusions and end up believing them (the bible). Although, various concepts like these have slipped through or are allowed to some extent on the nexus if you dig for it."

To which woogyboogy replied, "I think its a very fine line, on what amount of discussion of subjective theories, about what is going on with entheogens and hyperspace this place can handle, before it would seriously end in chaos and loose quality. Nobody wants this place to look like the chaos of all the conspiracy forums or even the shroomery.

On the other hand however, this is the Nexus, and those how make it through the newbie area tend to keep a certain level of quality, and I would actually be happy about some more subjective opinions on all this, and espescially id be very interested on what certain highly experienced members would have to say about their conclusion on the nature of entheogens after years and hundreds of trips."


I read on the attitude page that conspiracy theories are discouraged on the Nexus. That's understandable. But discussing these verbal and written languages that multiple people are experiencing doesn't seem like a conspiracy theory to me. Instead it seems more like brainstorming or something that the Attitude section would classify as "Learn and Give Back" as "The Nexus is a community that thrives on the collaborative efforts..."

Couldn't healthy discussion take place where people collaborate in effort to maybe understand these types of experiences better?

To be clear, I did read The Travelers link to undesirable topics in the Conspiracy Theory Section which included not discussing topics such: 9/11, Peak Oil, NASA/UFO, Big Pharma, Banking/Fed/Fall of the Dollar,and Movies like Zeitgeist and Loose change.

Discussing those undesirable topics I completely understand and am on board with. I am a little confused though on how discussing the language happenings could be construed as a conspiracy theory.

Terence Mckenna says the point of psychedelics is that we all become fishermen and go out to the sea and cast our nets. Don't cast your net for a grand idea that will sink your ship, and don't cast for the little minnow that slip through the nets. Instead look for middle sized ideas that aren't trivial but not so great we can't comprehend them. (

).

I think it'd be cool to work collectively to try and gain some kind of understanding to these language experiences. Maybe it's an impossible task but if people are too afraid to talk about it then how will breakthroughs happen? Must we wait for technical elites to discover breakthroughs in a lab? I'm thrilled legitimate research is being done at the universities but I'm afraid I'll have little to no value to add to the Nexus if such discussions aren't tolerated.

ps - I agree with both fathomlessness that it's kind of a shame these discussions aren't more bountiful and with woogyboogy in that The Nexus shouldn't be watered down but that some subjective insights may prove useful in the future.

Hope this doesn't get me 86'd before the fun starts!

 

[Exitwound]

I think it is not like discussing these topics is prohibited, it's more like preaching and pushing conspiracy theories generally is a bad idea.

Trying to discuss and decipher languages or symbolics encountered in hyperspace outside of subjective context can be a futile effort. I don't believe you can bring back any knowledge resolvable in the contraints of the framework of this reality. Hence any tries to interpret entheogenic experiences may lead to delusions of different kind.

For example some start to believe that they are "teached" something which is required to save the planet or fight hyperdimensional war. Such stories most often don't end in climax expected by protagonist.

Couldn't healthy discussion take place where people collaborate in effort to maybe understand these types of experiences better?

It is what is actually happening here, a lot of healthy discussions about experiences where people share and help each other to integrate. It's just that nobody should push their delusions on the others or claim that they understand what's going on in DMT land.

 

[bombsaway]

I think it is not like discussing these topics is prohibited, it's more like preaching and pushing conspiracy theories generally is a bad idea.

Trying to discuss and decipher languages or symbolics encountered in hyperspace outside of subjective context can be a futile effort. I don't believe you can bring back any knowledge resolvable in the contraints of the framework of this reality. Hence any tries to interpret entheogenic experiences may lead to delusions of different kind.

For example some start to believe that they are "teached" something which is required to save the planet or fight hyperdimensional war. Such stories most often don't end in climax expected by protagonist.

Couldn't healthy discussion take place where people collaborate in effort to maybe understand these types of experiences better?

It is what is actually happening here, a lot of healthy discussions about experiences where people share and help each other to integrate. It's just that nobody should push their delusions on the others or claim that they understand what's going on in DMT land.

Hi ExitWound,

Thanks for the clarifying response. I understand what you are saying that a person could go down a path towards delusions of grandeur or maybe even develop some kind of God complex, ie, "I have the answers!" when in fact they just had a profound experience that all people could potentially have in these altered states.

I'm very new to DMT but the one experience I had was much different than LSD or mushrooms in that my mind was completely clear and my emotions were steady. I remember what I experienced but did not break through. This probably explains why I can recall the experience. After all, I was still on my couch and not in hyperspace.

I've read reports that align with exactly what you are saying - that once a person is back in this framework the experience can't be explained. But is it possible to bring back a piece of the experience if you go in asking for something specific? I wish it were so.

This forum does seem like a place for healthy discussion and it is why I was confused that discussing such ideas could be considered taboo.

It's unfortunate if someone thinks their experience is the right one, tries to dominate conversation, and push their experience onto others. That would sour this board and not what I'm all about. Further, I can't imagine one person could be given, "the answer" and bring it back correctly. But I am genuinely curious if we could all bring back a piece of a puzzle and collectively try to piece it together?

This may be a silly idea but has anyone traveled into hyperspace while holding a pen and paper? Would it be possible to write a word on paper while in hyperspace? I didn't see a thread on this when I tried searching.

I'll keep reading previous posts because there's a lot of interesting info. Maybe some of my questions have already been answered.

Thank you,

Bombsaway

 

[Tomtegubbe]

I believe seeing some ancient runic writing is quite common a theme in DMT experiences. I saw them a couple of times when I began experimenting. I remember one of my first experiences being that I saw runes run my arm like a code. Later I experienced the same runes covering the walls of my apartment. Very mystic, but no way could I have been able to write them down. There were massive amounts of writing at it was constantly changing.

There may be some value in these experiences, but they have sort of an illusionary nature. Once I realized that this substance can help me in my inner work, I have been less and less interested in the apparitions and they have since become more and more uncommon. If you browse for example Reddit's dmt-channel, there are lots of people who are flabbergasted by the strange visions that DMT grants, but don't quite seem to get much to bring home. Those experiences also often seem to have some negative vibes with them or turn negative at some point. Some experiences are of a sort that maybe isn't to be pursued.

Nick Sand writes in his essay Wee bit more about DMT about the illusory experiences and encourages to look what's beyond them. I have found that advice very helpful. Not everything that glimmers is gold.

 

[bombsaway]

I like your name as it could be used as a kind of mantra to give you that little extra nudge to be bold and brave. Right before blasting off just tell yourself, "Bombsaway!"

Hi Kobranek,

Thank you for the kind words! I'm def going to borrow your suggestion; it was meant to be!

Signed,

Bombsaway

 

[Voidmatrix]

Exitwound said it well (as they often do).

To play Devil's Advocate for a moment, let's say that hyperspace is more than just in our heads and is in some way a place we can travel to with it's many layers, dimensions, and planes. Let's also say that someone "gets the answers." The fault with them trying to apply it here, outside of whatever particular sector (dimension, layer, plane...) of hyperspace, is the assumptions that the "answers" that were "bestowed" upon them are applicable here.

Human language is pretty complex on its own, and without the intersubjective framework to back it up, such an effort as trying to decipher a hyperspace language seems to bear low odds for success.

Now, all that said, have fun with this.

:twisted:



One love

 

[bombsaway]

Hi Tomtegubbe,

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's interesting to me how common this type of experience is. Having these markings on your physical body is another take on how these symbols can take form and be revealed.

I didn't know Reddit was also a place where discussion takes place (I'm not active on Reddit but I know the website) so I did a little poking around. A different vibe but perhaps I'll lurk there from time to time.

I think I understand what you are saying with the illusionary nature - a distraction perhaps from the more meaningful, inner work you're able to accomplish?

If you can't tell, I'm very much in a honey moon phase after my first experience. It's nice to be able to share my thoughts and get feedback from more experienced people. I think it'll help me make the most of future endeavors.

Thank you,

Bombsaway

 

[Icyseeker]

I have had visions with language that I didn't quite understand. The problem of this for me is I have an understanding that is greater of the language/visions while tripping. But after the trip a lot of what I could understand while tripping is incomprehensible to me. It makes sense to me that I need the compound to see and start to understand what I am seeing but discussions after are always hard to me because I just am not in the same state. The best I can do is take bits and peaces of the experiences and weave it into the meaning of my daily life.