cyanraven
star dust reconfigured
First of all hello and thank all of you for the information, ideas and opinions I have thus far gathered from lurking on this forum.
I am in my mid 30's physically and mentally healthy and in general in a good place in my life. I have ample access to the wilderness and live in a dry cabin off the beaten path. I have a deep rooted drive to explore myself without my ego getting in the way and feel it has already made me a much better person who still has almost unlimited room to grow. I grew up in a very religious family and while i feel i have a spiritual side as diminutive as it may be but i have never wanted anything to do with organized religions. I can appreciate ceremony, traditions and the sense of community but not the path i walk.
Pharmacology
Substance: Dimethyltryptamine (Freebase)
Potency: 96%+ Pure
Dosage 1: 25mg
Route of Administration: vaporized
PRE-CONDITIONS
Set: very good mood, generally I am a calm and relaxed person regardless. I did spend ample time regulating my breathing beforehand.
Location: couch in a mostly dark room just the blue glow of a fish tank light and the faint bubbling of water in the background.
Time of day: late evening.
Recent drug use: THC, Nicotine, caffeine, Alcohol within the past week. Just Nicotine the day of.
Last meal: Thai Basil chicken with rice about 7 hours before hand.
PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male.
Body weight: 88kg.
Known sensitivities: high metabolism and tolerance to most everything.
History of use including other substances: long relationship with cannabis. Mushroom about 12 times in the last 15 years. LDA three times. LSD twice. MDMA 4 times including once at a very high does also the last time and this was over 10 years ago. Aya three and a half times, the half was to figure out strength of brew. And lastly DMT, several small getting to know you introduction type dosages.
Other pertinent information: Two surgeries, first shoulder woke up during and overall very negative experience followed by being over prescribed narcotics and not knowing better fallowed the prescription.
Second I was a live organ donor in a teaching hospital one of the student doctors removed a drainage tube without first removing the stitch holding it in place I had been cut open right up the middle about 14 inches just a couple of days before and could not take any real pain killers until my bowels started working again. After reaching a level of pain that is indescribable two male nurses came in with a tackle box and just started pumping me with I know not what but one of the drugs was a very powerful dissociative that has had a very powerful effect on my life/perspective to this day.
TRIP REPORT
It has been about a week since and no matter how much I think about it words seem to fail in articulating the feeling and emotions during my travels but I can at least try to express what I saw and felt physically. This was nothing like the first small doses, even though they were powerful in the own way. I had a solid clean hit in my lungs and not even slightest thought crossed my mind to exhale but was able to secure the VG before I slid out of this reality. First was the euphoria and then my eyes closed, the geometric patterns were more intense/ complicated then I have ever seen before. Starting out in a stark black and white morphing faster than in could process. Slowly greens and blue came in and time stopped. At this point there was a tone it was high and pure no modulation at all. It encompassed me complexly. Deafening is inaccurate but it was powerful and dominated my senses. My mind never seemed to lose lucidity and I think I failed to truly let go, I was just mesmerized at this point with a complete sense of serenity and awe. With no idea on the amount of time that had passed but it did feel much much longer than it possible could have been; I exhaled and came up for air. I am not sure if it was due to holding my breath for too long or the breathing exercise beforehand but all my focus and energy was on breathing as much as I could, my breath was deep, erratic, voluntary but poorly controlled , there was no sense of panic or feeling out of breath and still I was writhing in euphoria.
Then a switch; silence, calm as if the tone had overloaded my auditory abilities there was nothing but a warm complete stillness. I was in a grey room with a door, just a hint of light shining through The door at first seemed like a solid grey with a darker grey handle but as I looked at it, it was anything but solid, ever expanding patterns with a multi-dimensional connection directly into my eyes . I could not move towards the door or at all for that matter, my eyes could only gaze ahead. Oddly the door did not seem important just a curiosity. Then I could FEEL a light behind me, the room looked the same, it was as if the light came in through the back of my head. This is hard to put into words but the light was creeping and growing slowly never leaving my head, never interacted with what my "eyes" saw. Once my head was swimming internally full of this light I lost the clarity of the room (room is a bad word for this - it was a space with a door there was no floor or wall of any kind but I did feel as if I was sitting in a chair, not floating or standing)
I could then start to make out an entity, very feminine with long dark hair dressed in a long white night gown holding an old tin cup. I strained by could not see her face. I have encountered this presence once before when I was a kid. She was just there no words or movements, just watching but almost have the sense she is always there every time I think about her, even typing this I get a kind of warm undulating chill. While I feel this was my first breakthrough journey I could feel other presences and I think I just came short of what could have been. I think this is related to me not fully letting go and the curious breathing break caused me to fall just short of where I should have been and I ended up just getting to the threshold so to speak.
The aftermath:
I have not ventured back yet and unlike the small introduction doses where I was content and a little sleeping afterwards this time I was full of energy and excitement. The energy level still seem elevated and my dreams have been incredibly vivid with almost an unsettling level of lucidness. For almost a week, no desire to partake in THC or Alcohol, also eating less then normally. In the last couple days my appetite has been as big as ever but I am waiting for my dreaming/ sleep to return (if it ever will) to pre-trip norms before I venture again. I figure there is still more processing to do, but feel that just writing this down has helped that along.
Since my travels have been something I have always keep to myself it was hard to write this and share but at the same time feel good to do so and I appreciate the opportunity to do so in such open and respectful community.
Without wax.
I am in my mid 30's physically and mentally healthy and in general in a good place in my life. I have ample access to the wilderness and live in a dry cabin off the beaten path. I have a deep rooted drive to explore myself without my ego getting in the way and feel it has already made me a much better person who still has almost unlimited room to grow. I grew up in a very religious family and while i feel i have a spiritual side as diminutive as it may be but i have never wanted anything to do with organized religions. I can appreciate ceremony, traditions and the sense of community but not the path i walk.
Pharmacology
Substance: Dimethyltryptamine (Freebase)
Potency: 96%+ Pure
Dosage 1: 25mg
Route of Administration: vaporized
PRE-CONDITIONS
Set: very good mood, generally I am a calm and relaxed person regardless. I did spend ample time regulating my breathing beforehand.
Location: couch in a mostly dark room just the blue glow of a fish tank light and the faint bubbling of water in the background.
Time of day: late evening.
Recent drug use: THC, Nicotine, caffeine, Alcohol within the past week. Just Nicotine the day of.
Last meal: Thai Basil chicken with rice about 7 hours before hand.
PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male.
Body weight: 88kg.
Known sensitivities: high metabolism and tolerance to most everything.
History of use including other substances: long relationship with cannabis. Mushroom about 12 times in the last 15 years. LDA three times. LSD twice. MDMA 4 times including once at a very high does also the last time and this was over 10 years ago. Aya three and a half times, the half was to figure out strength of brew. And lastly DMT, several small getting to know you introduction type dosages.
Other pertinent information: Two surgeries, first shoulder woke up during and overall very negative experience followed by being over prescribed narcotics and not knowing better fallowed the prescription.
Second I was a live organ donor in a teaching hospital one of the student doctors removed a drainage tube without first removing the stitch holding it in place I had been cut open right up the middle about 14 inches just a couple of days before and could not take any real pain killers until my bowels started working again. After reaching a level of pain that is indescribable two male nurses came in with a tackle box and just started pumping me with I know not what but one of the drugs was a very powerful dissociative that has had a very powerful effect on my life/perspective to this day.
TRIP REPORT
It has been about a week since and no matter how much I think about it words seem to fail in articulating the feeling and emotions during my travels but I can at least try to express what I saw and felt physically. This was nothing like the first small doses, even though they were powerful in the own way. I had a solid clean hit in my lungs and not even slightest thought crossed my mind to exhale but was able to secure the VG before I slid out of this reality. First was the euphoria and then my eyes closed, the geometric patterns were more intense/ complicated then I have ever seen before. Starting out in a stark black and white morphing faster than in could process. Slowly greens and blue came in and time stopped. At this point there was a tone it was high and pure no modulation at all. It encompassed me complexly. Deafening is inaccurate but it was powerful and dominated my senses. My mind never seemed to lose lucidity and I think I failed to truly let go, I was just mesmerized at this point with a complete sense of serenity and awe. With no idea on the amount of time that had passed but it did feel much much longer than it possible could have been; I exhaled and came up for air. I am not sure if it was due to holding my breath for too long or the breathing exercise beforehand but all my focus and energy was on breathing as much as I could, my breath was deep, erratic, voluntary but poorly controlled , there was no sense of panic or feeling out of breath and still I was writhing in euphoria.
Then a switch; silence, calm as if the tone had overloaded my auditory abilities there was nothing but a warm complete stillness. I was in a grey room with a door, just a hint of light shining through The door at first seemed like a solid grey with a darker grey handle but as I looked at it, it was anything but solid, ever expanding patterns with a multi-dimensional connection directly into my eyes . I could not move towards the door or at all for that matter, my eyes could only gaze ahead. Oddly the door did not seem important just a curiosity. Then I could FEEL a light behind me, the room looked the same, it was as if the light came in through the back of my head. This is hard to put into words but the light was creeping and growing slowly never leaving my head, never interacted with what my "eyes" saw. Once my head was swimming internally full of this light I lost the clarity of the room (room is a bad word for this - it was a space with a door there was no floor or wall of any kind but I did feel as if I was sitting in a chair, not floating or standing)
I could then start to make out an entity, very feminine with long dark hair dressed in a long white night gown holding an old tin cup. I strained by could not see her face. I have encountered this presence once before when I was a kid. She was just there no words or movements, just watching but almost have the sense she is always there every time I think about her, even typing this I get a kind of warm undulating chill. While I feel this was my first breakthrough journey I could feel other presences and I think I just came short of what could have been. I think this is related to me not fully letting go and the curious breathing break caused me to fall just short of where I should have been and I ended up just getting to the threshold so to speak.
The aftermath:
I have not ventured back yet and unlike the small introduction doses where I was content and a little sleeping afterwards this time I was full of energy and excitement. The energy level still seem elevated and my dreams have been incredibly vivid with almost an unsettling level of lucidness. For almost a week, no desire to partake in THC or Alcohol, also eating less then normally. In the last couple days my appetite has been as big as ever but I am waiting for my dreaming/ sleep to return (if it ever will) to pre-trip norms before I venture again. I figure there is still more processing to do, but feel that just writing this down has helped that along.
Since my travels have been something I have always keep to myself it was hard to write this and share but at the same time feel good to do so and I appreciate the opportunity to do so in such open and respectful community.
Without wax.
Hello and :thumb_up: