HolographicDNA
Rising Star
Greetings Fellow Voyagers, Psychonauts, Free Spirits, Shamans and introspective out of the box thinkers!
Before Reading I will warn you this is not a comfortable subject for me to share. Writing About it had me relive it in a sense bringing on anxiety mostly caused and heightened By the Methadone TAPER I am currently BY CHOICE ridding my body of. I POSTED it here since I am a new member and couldnt find a good category I had access to.
I have browsed The Nexus as an onlooker I guess you could say for the past year or so thereabouts. I have been able to pull threads from google and find a wealth of information and insights on this still mysterious and little understood molecule. What I like about your site is what seemms like most of the members sincere effort to use spice with respect. Because of the innate power it holds, to radically change a persons life and perhaps consciousness with one single breakthrough experience.
Its evident to me and I'm sure I dont have to tell the experience you were hoping for in the manner in which you interpret the content is not always what you get. Especially when attempting to break through to the realms of the ineffable mind bogglingly beautiful and at ti mes gentle spirit guides I have learned through the most violating manner I can imagine, I was not given the guidance I had hoped for but instead witnessed the lower vibrational realms where pure hell literally came bursting forth with what seemed like excitement filled with all manner of dark archetypes demons feasting on flesh letting guts spew forth through their mouth while mocking me I tried to remain in the moment and meditate but to no avail.Their prescence felt so heavy and brought forth such unease and an instinct to protect my girlfriend who was in the room.
That was yesterday I have layed the pipe down and packed it away in my safe until I feel I can get a full grip on what the hell I did to bring them forth in such an explosive way. It was as if they were waiting for me to pick up the pipe so the could jump inside mmy minds eye and have access to my conciousness and god knows what else. I am terrified of the possibility even though it seems something I didnt personally prescribe to before that these entities attached themselves to me n my weakened state and possibly my girlfriend who lay asleep in the room. Not to mention my lovind Dog who was flipping out barking running all around the room.
I am a cancer survivor and am not proud to say through the process of my treatment I not only became dependent on heavy pain medication at the age of 18 still a child not yet a man, but addicted to the release of anxiety it helped curve. Recently now at the age of 31 as of February 27th I have taken the last steps to abolish what I consider poisonous medecine to the mind body and soul. So frustrated have I become with this grip it has on my life I have been drastically reducing my dose to get the pain over with. I have dealved heavily into my spiritual rock which is buddhism and had used a good dose of LSD with the intent of seeing the destruction and ego driven behavior.
I was awakened and have no desire to use an opiate but to get past this stage I at times layed on the lap of the Woman I love dearly.
So with 2 grams of a substance I had gained insight from before, white spice, I felt confident I would be able to experience a relatively gentle ride comparable to my usual amazing hyperspacial beautiful trips of before.
THIS MORNING
After careful thought it occured to me just how drastically the dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters are altered when you detox from a dose of methadone. For those unfarmiliar your brain becomes dependent on the opiate you had been feeding it the more powerful the demon oops opiate the more damage is done to the neurotransmitter. It no longer produces normal levels and can induce a DMT trip usually while dreaming in intense stressful detox states. A year and a half of this not to mention 5 years of suboxone has left me weak to say the least.
IMPORTANT:
Anyway, I seem to remember that DMT like most psychedelics operates on your serotonin neurotransmitter. It seems obvious that if my body is in a heightened state of pain and my brain functioning has changed and is all out of whack, I think its possible that somehow or other it had a terrible synergistic effect with DMT. I am no scientist but I feel this holds truth. This is the set (what I brought to the table) setting was as usual.
I worked through the experience, but today feel a heavy sort of feeling as though I am being watched by something not friendly. I had a hard time sleeping last night after the experience and couldnt find any information online on how to proceed with entity removal online.
I am all in with this road of self discovery and still feel DMT has something to offer, but a break is needed, even if I didn't have a "bad experience" which in retrospect helped me see a lot of my ego in clear through the eyes of the people I had hurt with my addiction. I dont really have any other vices to speak of that I am aware of. Maybe some peripheral issues Id like to work on once I work through getting rid of opiates once and for all.
------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize for such a dark welcome but this has weighed heavy on my heart and I would Love to hear what the community may have to offer for guidance! Despite all of this I am grateful for the ego death. It helped put a lot in perspective, things the LSD had just started to touch upon.
Anyway, wishing all of you a positive start to your Week!
Before Reading I will warn you this is not a comfortable subject for me to share. Writing About it had me relive it in a sense bringing on anxiety mostly caused and heightened By the Methadone TAPER I am currently BY CHOICE ridding my body of. I POSTED it here since I am a new member and couldnt find a good category I had access to.
I have browsed The Nexus as an onlooker I guess you could say for the past year or so thereabouts. I have been able to pull threads from google and find a wealth of information and insights on this still mysterious and little understood molecule. What I like about your site is what seemms like most of the members sincere effort to use spice with respect. Because of the innate power it holds, to radically change a persons life and perhaps consciousness with one single breakthrough experience.
Its evident to me and I'm sure I dont have to tell the experience you were hoping for in the manner in which you interpret the content is not always what you get. Especially when attempting to break through to the realms of the ineffable mind bogglingly beautiful and at ti mes gentle spirit guides I have learned through the most violating manner I can imagine, I was not given the guidance I had hoped for but instead witnessed the lower vibrational realms where pure hell literally came bursting forth with what seemed like excitement filled with all manner of dark archetypes demons feasting on flesh letting guts spew forth through their mouth while mocking me I tried to remain in the moment and meditate but to no avail.Their prescence felt so heavy and brought forth such unease and an instinct to protect my girlfriend who was in the room.
That was yesterday I have layed the pipe down and packed it away in my safe until I feel I can get a full grip on what the hell I did to bring them forth in such an explosive way. It was as if they were waiting for me to pick up the pipe so the could jump inside mmy minds eye and have access to my conciousness and god knows what else. I am terrified of the possibility even though it seems something I didnt personally prescribe to before that these entities attached themselves to me n my weakened state and possibly my girlfriend who lay asleep in the room. Not to mention my lovind Dog who was flipping out barking running all around the room.
I am a cancer survivor and am not proud to say through the process of my treatment I not only became dependent on heavy pain medication at the age of 18 still a child not yet a man, but addicted to the release of anxiety it helped curve. Recently now at the age of 31 as of February 27th I have taken the last steps to abolish what I consider poisonous medecine to the mind body and soul. So frustrated have I become with this grip it has on my life I have been drastically reducing my dose to get the pain over with. I have dealved heavily into my spiritual rock which is buddhism and had used a good dose of LSD with the intent of seeing the destruction and ego driven behavior.
I was awakened and have no desire to use an opiate but to get past this stage I at times layed on the lap of the Woman I love dearly.
So with 2 grams of a substance I had gained insight from before, white spice, I felt confident I would be able to experience a relatively gentle ride comparable to my usual amazing hyperspacial beautiful trips of before.
THIS MORNING
After careful thought it occured to me just how drastically the dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters are altered when you detox from a dose of methadone. For those unfarmiliar your brain becomes dependent on the opiate you had been feeding it the more powerful the demon oops opiate the more damage is done to the neurotransmitter. It no longer produces normal levels and can induce a DMT trip usually while dreaming in intense stressful detox states. A year and a half of this not to mention 5 years of suboxone has left me weak to say the least.
IMPORTANT:
Anyway, I seem to remember that DMT like most psychedelics operates on your serotonin neurotransmitter. It seems obvious that if my body is in a heightened state of pain and my brain functioning has changed and is all out of whack, I think its possible that somehow or other it had a terrible synergistic effect with DMT. I am no scientist but I feel this holds truth. This is the set (what I brought to the table) setting was as usual.
I worked through the experience, but today feel a heavy sort of feeling as though I am being watched by something not friendly. I had a hard time sleeping last night after the experience and couldnt find any information online on how to proceed with entity removal online.
I am all in with this road of self discovery and still feel DMT has something to offer, but a break is needed, even if I didn't have a "bad experience" which in retrospect helped me see a lot of my ego in clear through the eyes of the people I had hurt with my addiction. I dont really have any other vices to speak of that I am aware of. Maybe some peripheral issues Id like to work on once I work through getting rid of opiates once and for all.
------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize for such a dark welcome but this has weighed heavy on my heart and I would Love to hear what the community may have to offer for guidance! Despite all of this I am grateful for the ego death. It helped put a lot in perspective, things the LSD had just started to touch upon.
Anyway, wishing all of you a positive start to your Week!
