Coping With Loss

[Xemnas]

Hey everyone. Yesterday, I lost one of my closest and most important life-long friends. He was a cat, and to others this might sound ridiculous, but he meant the world to me and my family. I've known him almost my entire life, and even longer than some of my immediate family members.

I guess what I'm asking here is, how do I deal with all of this? I've never lost anyone so close to me before. I can't bring myself to do anything like listen to music, watch TV or even eat.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing any of this here, but I don't really have a lot of close friends, and I guess I just figured you guys of all people would have some sympathy and could give me some good insight and advice about coping with the loss of a loved one.

If anyone replies, thank you in advance.

 

[cyb]

I feel your pain my friend...
I lost my best friend Marzzy (cat) some time ago now and miss her horribly in some quiet moments. The tears still come years later.
Time is the healer here...

I say go somewhere quiet and far away and cry your heart out...and remember the good times further down the road..

Peace for you ...

 

[Aegle]

Xemnas

I can completely relate to what you are saying my animals are part of the family...

I would suggest as i have found through my own experiences of dealing with loss that any ritualistic actions that you are able to do will go a long way into helping you deal with the loss. Were you able to bury your kitty, if so maybe try and visit where your kitty was buried as its important to keep the connection.

Life is always in a cycle of change and i know that your heart is fulled with loss of your precious companion but please try to remember and focus on the joy that you had together as its important to keep the positive thoughts alive of your kitty as this is the greatest way you can honour your kitties life and kinship.

I wish you all the best along this difficult journey my friend... Just do your best to full your heart with the special and beautiful moments as positivity is key.


Much Peace and Compassion

 

[Xemnas]

Yes, Aegle, We buried our little friend in our front yard where we can always see, and planted an apple tree above him. And I like to think he's not really gone, but in fact more alive than ever, living on in our hearts and through our actions.

Thank you for the kind words guys. They're much more appreciated than you know.

 

[Aegle]

Xemnas

That's really beautiful... I don't think you could of giving your friend a more precious gift...

Stay positive, brave and strong my friend.


Much Peace and Respect

 

[entheogenadvocate]

Xemnas,

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing my childhood dog when I was 12 was one of the toughest experiences of my life. My parents got the dog (Laddie, a Collie) right before I was born, so he was there my entire life up to that point.

I was just doing some Changa yoga the other day, and my dog Roscoe was watching me from the couch in my meditation room like he always does. Towards the end of my session, I thought about how my dog would eventually die, and how much I would miss him. Like you, I don't have many close friends (most of the few that I do live pretty far away), so my dog is far and away my best friend and my strongest emotional support.

The tears started flowing as I thought about his death, but as I believe in reincarnation, I tried to focus on how I work to make every moment of his life full of love, and that my actions should allow him to achieve a positive rebirth in his next existence. I hugged him like crazy in a psychedelic pool of blankets, fur, tears, love, and a large licking tongue

I don't know if you believe in reincarnation, but I hope that it may bring you some peace to think that all the love you gave your cat allowed him/her to transition to higher level of existence.

Either way, I wish you all the healing waves of love in the world. As Cyb said, find a peaceful place and cry your eyes out. Let out all the pain, but then allow yourself to focus on the positive memories and begin healing.

Good luck my friend. When you're ready, I'm sure there is a loving and lonely kitten at your local humane association that would love to become a part of your life and heart.

 

[zombicyckel]

SHIT :/ I hate that. I cant imagine what you are going though.

My cats are what keeps my peace and sanity on this earth, like everyday with my oldest cat is the best day of my life. I go for walks with him in the middle of the night and stuff(no leech). I chase him, he chase me and stuff. I cant imagine your pain brother, such loyal intelligent loving beings. I wanna go together with my angels into the unknown.

I guess nothing I will say will really matter, I can say this all the love to you. And I hope he is watching your back! Waiting for a reunion with you.

Xemnas,

I was just doing some Changa yoga the other day, and my dog Roscoe was watching me from the couch in my meditation room like he always does. Towards the end of my session, I thought about how my dog would eventually die, and how much I would miss him. Like you, I don't have many close friends (most of the few that I do live pretty far away), so my dog is far and away my best friend and my strongest emotional support.

The tears started flowing as I thought about his death, but as I believe in reincarnation, I tried to focus on how I work to make every moment of his life full of love, and that my actions should allow him to achieve a positive rebirth in his next existence. I hugged him like crazy in a psychedelic pool of blankets, fur, tears, love, and a large licking tongue

Man I would cry sooo much, getting tears reading it. Can soo relate to your feelings

 

[Xemnas]

Wow. Thank you guys so much. Words cannot express how much it means to me to know there are people like all of you out there. Much love to all of you. ❤

 

[zombicyckel]

Wow. Thank you guys so much. Words cannot express how much it means to me to know there are people like all of you out there. Much love to all of you. ❤

all the love to you too ❤

 

[zombicyckel]

Wish I could of helped you more, but man its a hard one. even stuff like time heal all wounds stuff doesnt really help. I lost my father when I was young, horrible dealing with that, time healed me. But the question is, do one really wanna be healed. Im not sure I want to be healed when my cats leave. im rambling, im sry


But some good advice: Time will heal you, remember him/her as the glorius being he/she was and hope he watch over you.

 

[Xemnas]

Wish I could of helped you more, but man its a hard one. even stuff like time heal all wounds stuff doesnt really help. I lost my father when I was young, horrible dealing with that, time healed me. But the question is, do one really wanna be healed. Im not sure I want to be healed when my cats leave. im rambling, im sry

What you say isn't mindless rambling, not even slightly. This is something I've been dealing with. Every time I stop thinking about my little friend, I almost feel guilty. I don't want to forget, I don't want to "get over" him. But I am beginning to grasp a whole new meaning of what eternal life is. If I can keep my lost friend alive in my heart and through my actions, then it is as if he is the one doing it. And someday, I'll live a whole life affected by him and I will pass away, but my loved ones will carry me through their memory and their actions, and in them doing that they are also keeping my friend alive, and it will go on and on and on.

Life is such a mysterious thing.

 

[EmptyHand]

We lost our dog in March. She was 16 so we knew for months that the end could not be years and years away, even though she was healthy. I anticipated that the first days after the loss would be agony and then I would recover fairly quickly. Surprisingly, for me the opposite has been the case. The first days after her death were hard, of course, but unexpectedly bearable. But the slow drumbeat of missing her goes on and on. My wife wants to get another dog but I'm reluctant. Sometimes I fear I won't love the new dog as much as J. and sometimes I fear I'll love the new dog more than J.

One of the essential teachings and insights of my spiritual/philosophical worldview is that EVERYTHING is transitory. There are many ways to try to avert our minds from this agonizing truth but salvation lies through seeing clearly and punching through the illusory vail, I believe.

Xemnas, you may wish to explore meditation if you haven't so far. It requires work and discipline but is extremely powerful for healing heart and mind. There are many ways to begin but you might find an entry via this link:

http://podcasts.sbinstitute.com/

eH

 

[entheogenadvocate]

Wish I could of helped you more, but man its a hard one. even stuff like time heal all wounds stuff doesnt really help. I lost my father when I was young, horrible dealing with that, time healed me. But the question is, do one really wanna be healed. Im not sure I want to be healed when my cats leave. im rambling, im sry

What you say isn't mindless rambling, not even slightly. This is something I've been dealing with. Every time I stop thinking about my little friend, I almost feel guilty. I don't want to forget, I don't want to "get over" him. But I am beginning to grasp a whole new meaning of what eternal life is. If I can keep my lost friend alive in my heart and through my actions, then it is as if he is the one doing it. And someday, I'll live a whole life affected by him and I will pass away, but my loved ones will carry me through their memory and their actions, and in them doing that they are also keeping my friend alive, and it will go on and on and on.

Life is such a mysterious thing.

The guilt associated with overcoming the pain can be overwhelming. However, I think you have to look at yourself through the eyes of your friend. That cat loved you so much, and because of that love and gratitude, he/she would want you to remember the good times you had together for the rest of your life, but eliminate the pain as soon as possible.

Healing is not selfish, it is a necessity to continue dealing with all the transitory stages in life that other people have already mentioned in this thread. You will honor your cat's life much more by being grateful for the memories and spreading the love to those around you, than by punishing yourself on a daily basis.

I wish you much healing, Xemnas. This thread has been therapeutic for me as well, because it lets me know that I'm not the only one who considers their pet to be their best friend. I wish I could give you a warm hug and a shoulder to cry on, but as a substitute, know that you have multiple people on the other side of your computer screen who care deeply about you and want you to heal.

Peace and love friend.

 

[joedirt]

Xemnas I'm sending positive vibes your way.

I also lost a close friend just under a year ago. My dog Ally had been with me for 12 years. All the way through college.

May you find peace of mind again soon friend.

Peace

 

[DeMenTed]

When my dog died i tried to imagine him running around doggy heaven having a great time. It kinda made me smile when i done that. Once the raw grief subsides you will be left with your wonderful memories and it will be ok. Positive vibes