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Depersonalization, Bhanga Nana, Dark night of the soul

Migrated topic.
I learned long ago when i was young and going through things that coming out of your own problems without medications gives you a greater understanding. Ive gotten out of this before and always fall back to fighting but at this moment ive had this peace fall over me. Im comfortable in my skin at this moment. Dont know why, i just read your post to me years ago jin and they clicked im just not gonna pay thoughts any attention.
 
ledsmoke said:
wanderNwonder said:
ledsmoke said:
letting go of control is a big issue of mine. Don't know how to do it
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You only think you have control anyway...Accept the impermanence of life ;)

This piece of amazing-ness will be a start

Shpongle-Around The World In A Tea Daze [Ott Remix]

*Just listening to it now again...It 'gets' me every. fucking. time. :)
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haha I know that, I'll rephrase. My ego is quite resistant on giving up the illusion of control.


Also you said the word accept, I've probably intellectualized accept let go and surrender to the end and I'm not sure anyone can answer it but How does one do those things?

I don't think words can define it?
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You come to the point where you realize you don't have any choice....*if you want to be free, that is
 
1. On a dark night, Kindled in love with yearnings—oh, happy chance!—
I went forth without being observed, My house being now at rest.

2. In darkness and secure, By the secret ladder, disguised—oh, happy
chance!—
In darkness and in concealment, My house being now at rest.

3. In the happy night, In secret, when none saw me,
Nor I beheld aught, Without light or guide, save that which burned in
my heart.

4. This light guided me More surely than the light of noonday
To the place where he (well I knew who!) was awaiting me— A place
where none appeared.

5. Oh, night that guided me, Oh, night more lovely than the dawn,
Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover, Lover transformed in the
Beloved!

6. Upon my flowery breast, Kept wholly for himself alone,
There he stayed sleeping, and I caressed him, And the fanning of the
cedars made a breeze.

7. The breeze blew from the turret As I parted his locks;
With his gentle hand he wounded my neck And caused all my senses to
be suspended.

8. I remained, lost in oblivion; My face I reclined on the Beloved.
All ceased and I abandoned myself, Leaving my cares forgotten among
the lilies.​
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WandeNwonder, thank you for all the post. On the 10th I had some sort of "let go" experience. I was lying in a bed relaxing and then something clicked. The Realization that nothing is wrong, but I think something is. That this dilemma is self created partially. I was free from thought that way for the day.
Sadly I made a grave mistake. I smoked some cannabis and the next day was lost back at sea.
This time with less fear.
I don't know how i let go and I've been back to looking for answers a little but to me it seems like it's accepting where we are at and being ok with it. To embrace it and take on life again. It is giving up in a sense though, accepting you do not have the power to change certain things.


Still having issues giving up control now.


Mindlusion:
Thank you for posting
It is beautiful, John of the cross's dark night.

This is a beautiful phase of transformation, my resistance causes a struggle to it though.
Still it is about surrendering yourself and being reborn again.
 
ledsmoke said:
WandeNwonder, thank you for all the post. On the 10th I had some sort of "let go" experience. I was lying in a bed relaxing and then something clicked. The Realization that nothing is wrong, but I think something is. That this dilemma is self created partially. I was free from thought that way for the day.
Sadly I made a grave mistake. I smoked some cannabis and the next day was lost back at sea.
This time with less fear.
I don't know how i let go and I've been back to looking for answers a little but to me it seems like it's accepting where we are at and being ok with it. To embrace it and take on life again. It is giving up in a sense though, accepting you do not have the power to change certain things.
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I'd have to say what helped me most in this area was questioning 'where' every thought came from...Is it a whine, want, criticism, or need? Then it it from the 'little self'...just the whiny little fuck-all in your head that tries to rule you. A total false projection...not worth a second thought. There is a need for it when we are young, but there is a point at which you move beyond personality.
Or, is it a thought that is 'instructional'? One that is an insight about your behavior...or what you should do to change/make things better? This is from your Higher self...This consciousness is located outside of Time...Your eternal being. Listen to only that...disregard the rest as trash.

Can you describe where your mind goes when lost at sea? Indeed, the mind is like an ocean....But you can float in the current.......instead of trying to swim.

Row,row, row, your boat! Steadily down the stream....of Consciousness. That's Flow!
 
Typically my mind obsessively loops thoughts on what i need to do to escape this state or how to accept it. Essentially obsessively looking for a way out. It focuses excessively on thoughts and how i feel and looks for changes in my state.
Also if not that then I typically analyze and breakdown reality or existential, philosophical, paradoxical things.

Loop quotes from post, even in this thread.

This is why i say I'm no good at letting go of control or in general. I'm trying to force a change and force acceptance and surrender. I understand looking for the way out always keeps it at bay it seems.
 
ledsmoke said:
Typically my mind obsessively loops thoughts on what i need to do to escape this state or how to accept it. Essentially obsessively looking for a way out. It focuses excessively on thoughts and how i feel and looks for changes in my state.
Also if not that then I typically analyze and breakdown reality or existential, philosophical, paradoxical things.

Loop quotes from post, even in this thread.

This is why i say I'm no good at letting go of control or in general. I'm trying to force a change and force acceptance and surrender. I understand looking for the way out always keeps it at bay it seems.
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You are struggling in the fight that is the only one worth fighting...The battle to understand the Self...and be free. Truly free. As I said before, look at from what 'angle' thoughts come from...selfish or more growth/insight-related...You want to channel your energy to the latter...

I am not sure what you believe about spiritual matters, but it is real as the animator, if you will, to all Existence. It is That Itself. It is Conscious Awareness. Understand that all religions are just poor interpretations of this....Some being better than others, for example, I suggest you read some Bhagavad Gita: Just look up quotes at first to give you an idea.

That which seems like poison at first, but tastes like nectar in the end – this is the joy of sattva, born of a mind at peace with itself.


Channel your mind energy away from the ego and toward understanding a higher state of be-ing. This will make all the difference. Don't forget to volunteer...It will get you outside the little self and into your heart...where 'You' really reside.
 
Another couple of thoughts...that are hopefully helpful (heh)

Listen to the lyrics ;)

Supertramp: Logical Song





The senses are higher than the body, the mind higher than the senses; above the mind is the intellect, and above the intellect is the Atman. Thus, knowing that which is supreme, let the Atman rule the ego. Use your mighty arms to slay the fierce enemy that is selfish desire.

Those who know me as their own divine Self break through the belief that they are the body and are not reborn as separate creatures. Such a one, Arjuna, is united with me.


`B. Gita
 
It seems the more i fight the farther away the light becomes. As far as thoughts, the problem with those is im to identified/attached to just watch or observe thoughts. Im not grounded enough in the present to observe without following.

Hence the letting go 😁

As far as spiritualality we both fall under similar lines i feel.
Actually i do own the bhaga va gita just never read it.

That was a wonderful song. Never heard of them before.
 
Hello

As far as the symptoms go, abstain from orgasm be it sexual intercourse or masturbation. Sleep regularly, eat regularly and healthily, meditate daily, drink enough water, and exercise at least 3 times a week.

After you have gone through 1 week of these, tell me if you feel this depersonalization.

Also, get in some breathing exercises with cold showers (Wim Hof) and hit the sauna every now and then.

There are a lot of other things one can do to enhance the mental well being. Even if you have a nice social status, as long as your mind and body is not functioning healthy, you will feel the discomfort. Don't misjudge it on spirituality just yet :)

The visual snow, I'd try Lions Mane. But that still remains a mystery for me as of yet...
 
ledsmoke said:
As far as thoughts, the problem with those is im to identified/attached to just watch or observe thoughts. Im not grounded enough in the present to observe without following.

Hence the letting go 😁
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How to Meditate

Find a place where you can be alone, uninterrupted, for at least half an hour. Although complete silence isn't necessary (or even desirable) for insight practice
www.vipassanadhura.com www.vipassanadhura.com
 
Thank you for the advice Jin

I'll reread it, i know now it typically brings up anxiety and more intense feelings.

You told me long ago that the practice itself is hard Jin, if not properly in the moment. To use sound instead.


Used to practice vipissana before this happened but now its hard abd sound meditation works better.
If you know of the insights i think im stuck in 4 or 5. Knowledge of arising and passing away or bhanga nana.



At the moment, im taking your advice from this thread about letting it all be and make no effort to change anything
 
Wandernwonder:

First songs beautiful but in regards to the lyrics, I dont want to think, id rather let go of the mind and be at peace or accepting my state so i can relax.

Ah saw the 2nd part. Yeah ill give it a go. I like your taste in music so reccomend away.

2nd song was awesome too

Thank you all again.
 
I just have so much different advice and dont know which direction to go..

I'm just over this after three years.. really frustrates me. Just want to live again and have my mind back.

Wish there was a step by step book on what to do heh.

Just confused on what route to take with all the info i have.
 
Best advice= Live one day...one moment at a time...Let come what will, and go and be where the Spirit moves you. It's YOUR path. The 'Heroes Journey' of transformation...No one can say what's ultimately right...because everyone is living in their own relation-al 'hologram'...

Life is composed of mainly two things: Doing and Being....Make time to do both and you'll find your way.

Last day before Christmas Break...kids be fucking nuts! Will be fun though...haha


Leftfield-Chant of a Poor Man
 
So just go with the flow.
Feels like i should move on from trying to accept and trying to let go.
Just live my life and stop "trying" to break out? Find peace where i am?
 
ledsmoke said:
So just go with the flow.
Feels like i should move on from trying to accept and trying to let go.
Just live my life and stop "trying" to break out? Find peace where i am?
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Right!...Bloody Well Right :d Just float in the Flow baby......when you 'move on' you have let go

You should use speakers that go 'allll the way to 11' when you listen to this...CRANK IT

Supertramp-Bloody Well Right


So you think your schooling's phony
I guess it's hard not to agree
You say it all depends on money
And who is in your family tree

Right, you're bloody well right
You know you got a right to say
Right, you're bloody well right
You know you got a right to say

Ha-ha you're bloody well right
You know you're right to say
Yeah-yeah you're bloody well right
You know you're right to say
Me, I don't care anyway!

Write your problems down in detail
Take them to a higher place
You've had your cry, no, I should say wail
In the meantime hush your face
Right, quite right, you're bloody well right

Right, you're bloody well right
You know you got a right to say
Right, you're bloody well right
You know you got a right to say


*Posted with Love :thumb_up:
 
Take It Easy

It all about sharing 'dat Love, braahhhh 😁

Wake your heart up...A book I'm reading on shamanic journeying (my current path) said the most important things to do to open the heart are to feel gratitude for the blessings in your life, and to actively-every day-bless others...loved ones, yourself, or just others! You are another my-self :p That is not the motivation, however. I feel gratitude and am blessed because it brings the good vibe and Energy into the equation.

The second one is forgiveness. As we have already covered, you have to be able to fully let go of the past to be present or experience Presence. IF your heart is blocked with feelings of resentment, it cannot be free.

A free is what you want...It is what all of us wants. Free of dogma, free of Time, just free to Be....and then you can be truly free to love and feel love.

People can you feel it? Love is in the air....

Allman Brothers-Revival
 
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