DMT after children

[1664]

I seem to remember a similar thread to this a long time ago, but could not find it, so apologies if this is a repetition...

I've recently had my first child , which so far is an amazing blend of beauty, love, awe, patience testing and frustration. It gives in so many ways, and takes in others. But this isn't a baby forum, it is the DMT Nexus. The link between the two is a question - how have other Nexus members who have had children changed their behaviour with regards DMT? Is it a bad thing to smoke when you have a little one?

I have not smoked for over a year now, mainly due to having too much going on in my day to day life to put me in the correct set and setting to be able to do it. I do still feel the calling, but circumstances will rarely allow it. I wouldn't smoke when anyone else is in the house (for many reasons which aren't really relevant), and I rarely get time to myself nowadays.

I've been thinking about finding a safe spot out in the countryside where I feel at ease where I can go. The difficulty is, I used to spend a few days building up to a breakthrough experience. Prepping myself physically and mentally. Now it seems I may need to be a little more opportunistic, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. How do others balance being a "good" parent, with their desire to still explore what the molecule has to offer? Any experiences or advice etc. welcome.

 

[Wax]

Congratulations! It is the best gift you will ever receive.

I have no experience with DMT prior to having a child so I can't vouch for that aspect but before I had a kid I was experimenting with salvia. It seems that it is harder for me to let go for a full breakthrough on DMT now, I think maybe it is a combination of intense salvia trips and having more of an attachment to this world now that I have a kid. I definitely feel like the joy of watching my child grow and everything that that encompasses has given me more of a peace in terms of "searching" for whatever it was that I was looking for in entheogens in the first place.

I still have the desire to explore but it does require an opportunistic approach to your travels, which can be hard. Overall I feel like being a "good parent" is really about being selfless and loving, these things can be achieved with or without the use of DMT. Although using entheogens tends to turn your thoughts inward, so take that as you will. Personally I feel like I need to focus less on myself and more on making a good life for my child but it can be very beneficial to take a journey inward every now and then to make sure you are on the right path for the good of both of you.

Just do what feels right to you and make sure to take your child's well being in to consideration when you make decisions.

 

[1664]

Thank you for your supportive and understanding post archaic. I understand and agree with all of your points. For me one of the hardest parts of becoming a dad has been letting go of many of the things I used to do. Some of which kinda helped define me as a person. I agree parenting should be selfless, and stopping doing certain things has been a hard adjustment. Whilst I have journeyed with dmt many times, I would not like to say I have taken it for the last time. I don't want that selfless attitude mean I do nothing for myself at any time. (i hope that is not a contradiction)

 

[Wax]

I agree, becoming a dad has completely redefined who I am as a person actually. I still do a lot of the same things but my perspective has shifted in a way I never thought it would and it has penetrated almost every part of my life.

Being selfless doesn't mean you should give up doing things for yourself, it just means not being selfish. If that makes sense. It is important that you keep your passions, and you will slowly find a way to incorporate what you do in to your family life. I have found that becoming a father has made me more receptive to the messages I receive and integrating my psychedelic experiences in to my life.

 

[1664]

Fair play to you archaic, sounds like you have yourself together :d

How do you fit in a session on the spice? Do you smoke at home, or do you venture elsewhere?

 

[somethingsintheway]

I discovered DMT after having a child, he is turning 3 next month. I pretty much make sure he isn't around it at all. I only indulge after he is long asleep, and as long as the wife is willing to let me go so that she can tend to the child if he wakes up. Sometimes I do it when they are away, but I don't mind doing it when everyone is home just as long as my wife is willing to help, the child is fast asleep, and everything else is in order. You'll find a way to fit it into your life as well. Good luck.

 

[Dr_Sister]

Hi 1664

Sister got hip to DMT while she had a teenager. What this means is that Sister has to be opportunistic with her timing. There are many windows that open up to do spice, but as you mention, it takes while to work up the nerve to partake. Often by the time sister has worked up the nerve the remaining window of opportunity is too small to work with, so she aborts.

Ideally sister prefers to vape when she is alone at home in the evening, but on occasion she will vape after everyone has gone to bed. She also vapes when she goes on camping trips and at the end of the night at festivals, a night cap if you will.

On one hand being part of a family will mean you have less opportunity to enter hyperspace, but on the flip side a built in capacitor isn't a bad thing either. It means that any opportunity is precious and can never become commonplace. Which is the way Sister likes it. 8)

 

[BecometheOther]

Congrats, 16, im happy for you, and wish you guys a road of positivity and wholesomeness..

My daughter is almost 2 years old now, and i know they say the time goes by fast, but damn it really does! Its both the biggest blessing and biggest struggle i have had but has taught me invaluable lessons about life and perhaps given me some perspective.

The big difference between my psychedelic use (in general not just smoked dmt) then (before the relationship and baby) and now is just that things have to be planned out better and you need some support.

For example instead of just freely doing my own thing all the time and doing anything on a whim including dosing, i now tell my partner weeks in advance if i am feeling the call. Then you need somewhere private to go, a setting to do it in outside of your normal home life, with the kids running around etc. I usually just ask the wifey to go to her moms and have the house to myself, or sometimes i let her know, and then just do it once everone has gone to bed.

And im usually talking about mushrooms cactus and aya all of which last much much longer than freebase, so i can't imagine it would be too hard to find 15-20 minutes to yourself from time to time Its really just all about having the support of your partner and making it an accepted thing and then your golden.

 

[1664]

Thanks for the advice and support guys, it's appreciated. I think the way forward will be some trips away on my bike with a tent one or two times in the summer. I can take some cactus with me and some changa and maybe make an event of itfor myself. That way I could plan it in with my other half, and still get the time to get myself prepped for the experience.

As for now, I need to go change a nappy :lol:

 

[flowersniffer]

I discovered DMT after having a child, he is turning 3 next month. I pretty much make sure he isn't around it at all. I only indulge after he is long asleep, and as long as the wife is willing to let me go so that she can tend to the child if he wakes up. Sometimes I do it when they are away, but I don't mind doing it when everyone is home just as long as my wife is willing to help, the child is fast asleep, and everything else is in order. You'll find a way to fit it into your life as well. Good luck.

I pretty much second this. This is my experience exactly, except my daughter is nearly 3 now. I wait for her to be fast asleep and let my wife know that I'll be out of action for half an hour or so, then go downstairs out of the way.

It's not really a problem as it's so short lasting...How to find time for an Aya journey, that's my problem!

 

[curious1]

I have had similar experience. my child is a teen now.

Obviously things have to be planned better where spontaneity has to be scheduled in (if that makes sense!).

Anything is possible still. I find as long as all my responsibilities are taken care of and my wife and kids material/emotional needs are met investigation is possible.

 

[SoulCrushingBass]

I believe as long as you take care of business first, you deserve play time for yourself. Sometimes even more as being a parent. I am a parent of a few. Anything that helps you grow as a person, and gives insight, will help you as a parent. After my most recent child, I was reminded in an experience, to be thankful for all I have. I was rolling through a space being shown kids toys, and feeling this emotion only a parent can have with the bond to a child. "Don't forget what is truly important now".

I guess if anything, be as discrete as possible. The eyes of our sheep society and norms, don't know jack s--- about spice, to them its just a drug.

Congratulations on the child.

 

[Guyomech]

You may be thinking of an earlier thread called "Psychedelic parents", which focused mainly on the subject of discretion in terms of dealing with banned substances, children, and the outside world. This is really a different topic, where you're going more into the ways of finding psychedelic opportunities once the stork has visited.

Our daughter is 19 months old now, and the greatest gift ever. Witnessing her process of language acquisition, watching her emotional development... Wow, wow, wow. Truly a trip. As a veteran psychonaut, I had become quite comfortable with my reality being transient, dynamic, ever-shifting, and real only on a metaphorical level. Parenting brings you right back down to Earth: there is nothing more real than a child, period.

I am a very involved parent, and my wife and I are both career people, so we take equal turns and our parenting roles are both very involved. No daycare, no nannies... So it's full-on, full-time. In addition, we got started a little late (mid forties) and I'm finding that energy level is my big problem.

I've have had DMT 7-8 times since becoming a dad. Most of these opportunities came when I had visitors who came with a gift of the spice; I would let my wife know the plan, wait until the baby was sound asleep, then go out to the studio building to journey. I find that being with friends increases my energy level and makes it easier for me to stay up later. On the other hand, I'd rather travel alone- a sitter can be distracting- but somehow the energy is never there.

So I've got a dose loaded up and ready to go. Been ready to go since February, when I last traveled (the mother-in-law was in town, freeing me to step away). I feel I can really use a deep journey right about now and hope to be sharing the trip report with you folks sometime very soon.

On yet another hand, though, comes the reality check: a month ago we had a total airway blockage. My wife was panicked and basically unsure what to do. I poked around in the baby's mouth and couldn't find anything (it was pieces of tortilla laminated against the back of her throat). She turned blue, bug-eyed and stiff as a board as I tried smacking her back. Finally I used several Heimlich compressions, which successfully forced out the blockage and allowed me to reach in and pull it out. But there was a moment there where literally anything could have happened. This is the kind of thing that keeps me away from LSD, which I have a great fondness for but probably won't touch for a long time. I feel pretty comfortable taking a 10 minute spice journey when she is in a deep sleep... But then I have trouble finding the energy.

I guess if I felt the calling strongly enough, I'd find the mojo to do it. In the meantime, knowing the experience is available to me when I'm ready is an empowering thing.

 

[DMTripper]

I have a 5 year old daughter now and she's very much a daddy's girl and the light of my life.
I feel it's harder to let go when things get hard in a trip now then before I became a dad. Before I didn't feel like I had any responsibilities. I didn't really care if I would die or go mental. I was so ready for a rough ride. Now when things get rough I get very worried for my daughter.
I'm not ready to die now. I can't think of putting my daughter through loosing her father or seeing him end up in a mental institution. I've had many trips where I thought I was going to die or died or thought I would never recover from the madness I was experiencing. Before I could always get quite easily through that and turn my trips into bliss but that's a lot harder now.

I have a very strong connection to my daughter. I just can't stand the thought of her suffering because of me.

 

[teotenakeltje]

Congratulations! I have a 5 year old, and it sure is a life changer. Kids bring so much brightness in ones live, it's incredible!

I feel it's harder to let go when things get hard in a trip now then before I became a dad. Before I didn't feel like I had any responsibilities. I didn't really care if I would die or go mental. I was so ready for a rough ride. Now when things get rough I get very worried for my daughter.
I'm not ready to die now. I can't think of putting my daughter through loosing her father or seeing him end up in a mental institution. I've had many trips where I thought I was going to die or died or thought I would never recover from the madness I was experiencing. Before I could always get quite easily through that and turn my trips into bliss but that's a lot harder now.

I have a very strong connection to my daughter. I just can't stand the thought of her suffering because of me.

This is exactly how I feel, well put DMTripper! I have the feeling that my daughter needs me, very much, and the thought that I die is just unbearable to me since this would cause her so much pain.
I know that you don't die from psychedelics, or that going mad is very unlikely, but only the knowledge that it has happened, is a fear factor during and before a journey.
Nowadays I only partake when my daughter is away. My parents in law live next door so that is a big plus...well, most of the time
Let's say that I thing a lot more about tripping than actually doing it.

 

[Skeemer]

great thread. I have 2 teenage girls and a 6 year old boy so i have little time for extractions due to my teenagers being very nosey(which i dont mind). I never put projects or sessions above time with my kids. I absolutely will not partake if the teenagers are around! If it's just my boy, he needs to be sound asleep with mom inside in case he wakes up and needs something. I figure i have my entire life to journey and i am well supplied, so whats the rush? It's interesting that some dont have the powerful breakthroughs because of their connections to their kids. It makes sense. Thank you for some really good reading.


Skeemer