ragabr said:
Death&Decay said:
How do I know your not ready? Because you have fear. Fear, while it's useful, will inevitably hold you back. Now, I get fears from time to time of smoking if I haven't smoked in quite a while and it's like a "new" feeling. So, what I usually do to get around this, is I smoke small bits and somewhat ramp my experience up. Rather than having not smoked for a few weeks or a month and suddenly smoke a huge bowl, just take it slow and let yourself adjust to the feeling a little to loosen up the tension and then go for a big one.
This is absolutely opposite to SWIM's experience. When she first started working with DMT, she followed Erowid's old recommendations of 60mgs as a medium-strong dose. Each time she would vaporize, she would breakthrough and it would be way way too much. The fear built each time, to the point she habituated a panic response to even packing the bowl. The fear never stopped her from breaking through, with a large enough dose.
Edit: Also, where have you ever seen reports of "low-quality" DMT preventing breakthroughs? I have been here a long time and have never seen a single one. I've seen some of people breaking through on obviously tainted DMT, like containing blue from adulterated solvent.
I understand, and can relate.... But, I think there might be a little confusion. When we say fear of smoking, is it really fear? I don't think so, I think what we are talking about is anxiety. Fear prevents you from experiencing change, it's like an internal mechanism in place that prevents a person from going further. It's a safety switch that allows us to move at our own pace.
Anxiety on the other hand, is a type of excitement we get by experiencing change in an unknown direction. Anxiety can quickly turn into fear, if you fear you have gone too far, past the point you are comfortable with. Usually, once someone reaches that breaking point of where their anxiety turns to fear, the experience sort of stops and you beging to come down, however since you pushed yourself to the brink of your own internal limits you interpret that experience as a breakthrough. Because you are literally breaking through a layer of fear.
So, in a sense, fear is also essential to breaking through because if you had no fear, then what would you be breaking through? But, the process in which we breakthrough is a process of anxiety leading to our fears. Once we confront the fear and see it in this form we then have two options, hide and wait for it to pass (bad experience) or confront it and break through it (good experience).
Fear, is also a very vague word. It can have many meanings, and it encompasses all negative feelings. So, with that in mind, fear comes in many shapes and many forms all unique to each individual person. A fear might be something as simple as realizing there is a god and something as extreme as being afraid to lose our lives. If you are afraid to die, like all of us, then when you go through the experience of dying you will be liberating yourself from that fear, which is why I believe the most common effect of DMT is the experience that one is dying. We must breakthrough these fears, in order to achieve that sense of liberation from our fears.
We see things in reality molded around our fears, because rather than confront our fears, we try and deceive ourselves into repressing them instead. What this does, is prevent's us from experiencing things. We might have a fear of heights, so rather than overcoming that fear we instead make sure we never have to fly, we never have to be on a second story, we never are above X amount of feet and so on. We create limits and restrictions around ourselves to shelter ourselves from what we fear. Think I am off on a tangent?
Well, why do you think that psychedelics are schedule one narcotic? Why do you think we suppressed the matriarchal system? Why do we have organized religions? Why is the number one highest economic stimulus war? Why do we create trouble and problems in our own lives when we could easily take the other path? Why? Because the easy path that we know is the right path has something along it that we are in fear of, and rather than confront that fear we actually create a whole new totally messed up unnatural path for ourselves in order to ensure that we don't have to confront that fear.
We all do it, every single one of it, and we have been doing it since the dawn of civilization. This fear has become a part of our logical lives and rather we admit to it or not it is and always has been there. The question is, what will we do once we realize that the path we created for ourselves will never lead us to where we want to be, and the only path that will ever take us where we want is the path in which we must confront all of our fears?
So, to cut this short, you must truly understand that this whole experience of life is a tool to liberate your consciousness from material and transcend physicality. It's like we are trapped in this world, and our goal is to get out of here. In this reality we must go through steps of discovering ourselves, so that when it is time to actually do the liberation, we can experience it in every aspect. It's like growing up, you slowly get more of an understanding of reality and eventually get to a point where you go out into the world on your own, but we don't just push young children out in the world alone, we make sure they are prepared. Just like that, these experiences in life do the same things to our souls, it prepares it for the time in which it must grow up and move on to the next part of the greater experience which is death.
Phew... Long message...
Once my body and mind are reminded that their is not much to be scared of then il blast off with my dosage.
Then give me back my life.. and to say it changed me is in understatment! but i can imho say im soo truly greatful for the lession.. you see the things i have done.. And i can say with great respect and much love!! You are the bravest spirits i have had the pleasure to know were alive... spice is a teacher let it teach
