My first psychedelic experience was with a low dose of local liberty caps that some friends had picked. They knew close to nothing about mushrooms and just saw them as a natural drug. I remember a plate on the table filled with dried mushrooms (maybe 100g), and my friend just picked up a pinch and said it should be enough
The main message from that journey was
never again, yet I was back for more in a few weeks. All of those friends eventually got their lessons in humility and respect, and some of them were harsh. It was never a party for me, right from day one. I think I felt like I needed help, but it was unconscious. I had my first
bad trip with mushrooms, and that was the biggest shift of my life. Later I started to look for aya and found old ayahuasca forums. Iranian rue seeds
took care of me, and here we are. So, I had no real mentors apart from the plants, forum elders, and some books.
"God have mercy on me and guide me to the light" is my latest prayer
God is reality or truth for me, and any name-form that speaks to you works. Mercy or grace is ever-flowing, but we forget it. Light is both physical (in my case) and our true nature. The ultimate prayer is
Silence. You give yourself space to be in silence and listen. People call it contemplation or meditation. God is always
speaking through silence. If you have ever felt fully present in the moment, that's the prayer, imo.
Nowadays, I keep reminding myself that there is no God out there. We're praying to the One living in our Hearts. Ego can never free itself, because any attempts to do so are of its own making. God is the reality that exists outside the ego-box and is forever unknown. Ego can never know God but can only dissolve into it. Yet, we can cultivate love for truth and reality. Everyone wants to be happy, and that happiness lives inside your Heart. When you become tired of this unending game of life, turn inside. Freedom is waiting for you there, forever smiling
Just Be