Do You Miss When It Was New?

[Nathanial.Dread]

I was perusing the Nexus this cold October evening, and for the first time, I realized that I kind of missed how exciting DMT was, back when I was first starting to explore the world of psychedelics, and drugs in general.

I don't mean that psilocybin, DMT and Ayahuasca have gotten boring in and of themselves, far from it, they are still glorious, overwhelming and earth shattering, however, the world of psychedelics itself is something that I've gotten more used to. When I first discovered them, along with other drugs (which I then proceeded to get a little addicted to, and finally kick), it was like an entire world was opening up to me.

The world of psychedelics was fascinating, complicated, and deeply taboo. The closest thing I can compare it to was the feeling of, back when I was just entering puberty, discovering sexuality. Just like sex doesn't necessarily get stale or old, it does become a more integrated part of your life, and your perspective changes on it.

I'm well into college now, with a major and life-plan (neuroscience of spirituality, woot!) and I know I'm never going to get that "newness" back: at my time of life, I feel like things are shifting from discovering exciting new things to exploring and mastering the things I've already discovered. I don't mean to say that it's bad. I've learned loads and my experiences are deeper and more meaningful now, however the wave of nostalgia was poweful and caught me pretty off guard.

Blessings
~ND

 

[anrchy]

I guess it's like anything really. I miss when my cat was a kitten.

One important piece of advice that was given to me as a young teenager was, Its not when you finally reach your goal, but the journey you took to get there that is the most satisfying.

I think this mechanism is what helps drive us to continually achieve. Otherwise there wouldn't be much progress.

Find something to fill that void with. A new thing that is fascinating and adventurous.

 

[Metanoia]

I know exactly what you mean.

I often get nostalgic about the 'good ol' days' when I was younger and had more freedom to explore these states of being. But those times were a period of great hardship and turmoil as well. I also was very irresponsible about my use for the most part.

Still, it's with a touch of the melancholy that we look back on those days and reminisce.

But like anrchy says, you learn to appreciate the journey you took. How far you've come and how far you still have to go.

 

[wearepeople]

Oh the honeymoon stage; so wonderful, confusing, and intriguing.

ND, I definitely know what you mean. It was all so new and captivating. Its interesting to watch newcomers go through it. "What? DMT comes from plants? What?!? Its in my brain too?!? WHAT?!?! I can extract it myself?!?!!?". At first, wrapping my head around the chemistry/extraction side of things was the most intriguing part. One pharmahuasca journey started to change that.

I encountered mimosa tenuiflora, in spirit form. We spoke telepathicaly and I was able to thank the diety for the DMT experience. He was old, slow-moving, somewhat disappointed with humans, but still very gracious. It was as though he was tired, too tired to keep providing.

I started researching DMT containing plants. There's still so much to look into. Thousands upon thousands of species. How to grow them. Variations in alkaloid profiles within a species. Many, many, many things to research. Its like a huge puzzle that grows as people try to solve it. Everyday I do something to add pieces to it.

For me, the honeymoon stage has blossomed into a loving marriage. The roots grow deeper, branches grow higher, and every now and then, the smell of flowers brings me back to the original romantic excitement.

Wap

 

[Hiyo Quicksilver]

It sure was something... but my relationship with psychedelics and my view of life in general has changed so much since then, that I wouldn't want to go back to the way they worked then.

It's more personal now. More challenging, more sincere and most of all, it's easier to understand.

 

[hug46]

Nostalgia can be a powerful force. Not least because our memories are sometimes rose tinted.

I have found that a combination of a low dose of DMT (15mgish) while listening to the theme tunes of the television programmes that i watched when i was little to be very beneficial. This may help to re-ignite innocent wonder for some members that feel that they may have grown up too much.
My sweet spot seems to be my 5-7 years old period. But tread carefully, as i had quite an intense experience on 20+mg while listening to the Banana Splits tune.

 

[easyrider]

My advice: take very long breaks.

 

[Felnik]

Very weird you should say this about the banana splits .
Some things are better left in your memories .
I had fond memories of that show when I was a kid but
Watched it a few years ago and realized it was terrible I was
Quite disappointed . I like it better as I remember it .
I still sing the theme around the house quite often .

 

[hug46]

I had fond memories of that show when I was a kid but
Watched it a few years ago and realized it was terrible I was
Quite disappointed . I like it better as I remember it .
I still sing the theme around the house quite often .

Yes i know what you mean. I had the same thing with Woody woodpecker. I used to love him when i was little but now he irritates the living dylights out of me. I wouldn"t go as far as watching old childhood programs (with maybe a couple of exceptions) while tripping. I just listen to the music to re-awaken certain feelings that may have been dormant. I think the Woody woodpecker soundtrack would be a step too far for me.
And i do like the Banana splits soundtrack (The Dickies did a good version of it) but, for some reason, it made me feel uneasy and there were no pleasuarable memories that were re-awakened from my childhood. It may have been too hectic for my state of mind at the time.

 

[Felnik]

Wild idea to listen to stuff from childhood ,
Very interesting I never though of that .
Although these days I prefer no music at all while
Journeying .

 

[hug46]

Although these days I prefer no music at all while
Journeying .

I am still honeymooning at the minute and therefore exploring the options and potentials that are available to me (in bed, out in the woods, up a mountain, by the river, in the bath, on the settee, eyes open, eyes closed,different sorts of music etc).

I will say that music is best for me on sub 20mg(ish, i am that my scales have lost their bite) doses where i can gain a certain clarity of thought about my life. Low dose introspections about my past, present and future have also been very helpful in setting my mood for larger doses to follow (where the stereo usually stays off).
I suppose it all depends on what you are trying to get out of these experiences.

 

[Jaigurudevaom42]

Yes! in both experience or simple speculation of the topic (wondering what it would be like and what will it teach you).
Also when I see people that are starting to get this thirst for knowledge and endless curiousness about DMT I find, ironically, that the ego of the person goes up and they get a feeling of being more superior and enlightened than everyone around them. even more than people with more experience with these compounds, since over time our curiousness won't go away, but won't grow any bigger as well.
Only when you're done juicing out the entertainment and the benefits of this hyperspace link you obtain you realize you owe it to the grid to use the learned wisdom on your controllable reality.
Amazement can be the most efficient blinder.

 

[jamie]

I find this only happens when I am not integrating them into some kind of path.

I will often stop smoking DMT for up to 6 months at a time, and only work with teas.

 

[expandaneum]

yes

I do miss that feeling of not knowing that it can be a terrible experience as well. The first real BREAKTHROUGH wow.
But then again sometimes the nostalgic feeling comes back and i feel I'm still integrating that first period, and that's years ago.

Also like Jamie said 6 months of not using helps a lot to go back to that state.

 

[Walter D. Roy]

But isn't that understanding what you were chasing all the time?

Seeing things grow is something you have to enjoy! Like seeing your kitten grow up, find the excitement in seeing it mature and become the beautiful feline it was meant to be!

But yes it will never be the same, just like the first time you had sex. Or the first time you smoked DMT. Popping your cherry is always nice so to speak haha. But don't lament over the fact. Nothing is suppose to be childlike forever.

Peace and Love!

 

[hixidom]

I can definitely relate.

Part of me thinks that I might enjoy psychedelics just as much as I did back in the day if I were only as carefree as I used to be. I felt like my life was all about psychedelic experience back then, but now I can hardly find time for it.

Then again, I really have changed; My worldview has become much more elaborate and much less flexible. It used to be that a psychedelic experience could take me places and really change the course of my life, but now they're mostly like puzzle pieces that don't fit anywhere. I've tried to streamline my thinking process as much as possible, and part of that means letting go of the idea of infinite possibilities and settling on a local optimum. I can't say that any of this would be true without the influence of psychedelics, but nowadays a psychedelic experience is less like an on-ramp and more like a speed bump.

Part of it is the culture also: I don't have people to do psychedelics with and I don't have anyone who will talk to me about them (in person, that is). Thinking back, psychedelics were kind of like a fad that peaked at some point in my past, and the change in attitude of my friends, as well as my change in friends, has had a big effect on my attitude toward psychedelics. We were all kids then, but now we are all adults, or at least we are pretending to be.